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Carlos Tevez lasted about an hour. The play deteriorate in the second-half, but it was still a magical spectacle. In the sixth minute of extra time, Ramon Abila slotted home a penalty. My punch to the air was rather half-hearted and I felt a fraud. My views on tourist fans at Chelsea might change in the near future, since I was now, ironically, one of the same. I hate modern football.

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