Tag Archives: 1984-1985

Tales From Two Firsts

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Ipswich Town vs. Chelsea : 30 December 2024.

This was a new ground for me. In my fifty years of following Chelsea at various locations, I had never yet ventured as far as Portman Road in the Suffolk town of Ipswich. In fact, I had only ever visited the town twice before, for work in 2003 and 2009, and on both of those occasions I was based to the south of the town, so this was to be my first visit to the town centre itself.

Once it was eventually decided when the game was to be played, I booked up a hotel close to the stadium. I didn’t fancy an “in and out mission” on the day, and I also fancied a drink. This would be my first domestic drink-up at a game since Newcastle away last season.

A few years ago, the two biggest stadia within the English and Welsh professional pyramid that I had not visited were Ipswich Town and Huddersfield Town. I crossed off the latter on opening day 2018, and now it was the turn of Ipswich. What are the remaining major stadia that I am yet to visit? Notts County, Bradford City and Millwall immediately spring to mind as being the three biggest on the list.

Talking of “firsts”, there was a huge “first” that occurred just over forty years ago on Saturday 29 December 1984.

On that day, I saw Manchester United play for the very first time.

Following our promotion to the old First Division in May, Chelsea were starting to find our collective feet in the First Division. Although there had been dropped points along the way, there had been an excellent away win at Everton, creditable away draws at Arsenal, Tottenham and Sheffield Wednesday, and two fine home wins against West Ham United and Liverpool, amongst others.

This was a glamour game for sure. Although United had last won the league in 1967, they were the biggest-supported club in the country and were a decent-enough team at the time. From a fan’s perspective, I was very keen to see how many supporters they would bring and how the numbers would compare with Liverpool who had visited three weeks earlier.

It was a familiar routine for me for my pre-match; a visit to West End shopping areas – purely window shopping – and a spin down to Fulham Broadway. My diary informs me that I darted into the long-gone Pie & Mash shop at the southern end of the North End Road, and I then met up with two pals outside the ground who advised me to nip along and buy myself a Benches ticket for £4. I have no recollection of this. I imagine I was previously unaware of the need to get a ticket. Was the Benches ticket-only for this one game? I am not sure.

On a cold day, we were inside as early as 12.15pm. There was no spare money for pre-match drinks in those days. I was a poor student, but just happy to be at Chelsea as often as possible.

There were nine of us in a row at the very rear of the Benches.

My diary called us “the Back Benchers.”

From the North to the South :

Paul from Brighton, Alan from Bromley, Dave from St. Albans, Richard from St. Albans, Simon and his brother Andy from Sandridge, me, Leggo from Bedford, Mark from Sunbury.

Simon and Andy were momentarily famous twenty years ago when the video of them at Highbury for the Champions League Quarter-Final went as near to viral as 2004 would allow.

I still see all eight lads at Chelsea to this day.

Us in 1984?

Niedzwiecki

Wood – Pates – McLaughlin – Joey Jones

Nevin – Keith Jones – Spackman – Thomas

Dixon – Davies

My notes said that United brought about 4,000 but Liverpool had brought more. There was a little “mixing” in the centre pens and a few punches were inevitably exchanged. It’s sad to admit to it now, but I remember being awkwardly thrilled to see the red shirts of the United players as they walked out from the East Stand tunnel.

Chelsea began on top in the first twenty minutes. The ex-United midfielder Mickey Thomas set up Gordon Davies who volleyed home. Mass celebrations, what noise, another scalp for this exciting team?

Sadly, the visitors went 2-1 ahead by half-time. Frank Stapleton crossed for Mark Hughes to head home and then Bryan Robson slipped a pass through to Remi Moses who slotted the ball in. David Speedie came on as a substitute for Keith Jones at the break. A scrambled third goal by United, with Frank Stapleton getting the final touch, was met with groans, and there was added ignominy as Kerry Dixon missed a penalty with ten minutes remaining. My notes said that Mike Duxbury should have been sent off at least twice and that our best player was, perhaps, Nigel Spackman.

In Frome that night, I bumped into PD and Glenn, and I am not wholly sure why Glenn didn’t join us in the Benches. He travelled up with the Frome / Manchester United coach though, so he may have arrived late. He told me that he almost got hit as he approached the United coach after the game by some Chelsea lads.

So much for 1984.

With dropped points against Everton and then Fulham, I set off for Suffolk rather concerned for our health, despite Ipswich still waiting to win their first game at home in the league this season.

I called for PD bang on 7.30am and I called for Parky not long after. There was a sub-standard breakfast at McDonalds in Melksham, but we were on our way.

On this day, Chelsea was set to announce loyalty point thresholds for access codes for the FIFA World club Cup games next summer. These were to be shared at 9am.

At 9am, I stopped at Membury Services in Wiltshire and my 110 points meant that I was to be given a 10.30am time slot. At 10.30am, or rather just a minute after, I was stopped at South Mimms Services in Hertfordshire where I accessed the Chelsea ticket page.

I was in.

I hoped that the rest of everything else Chelsea-related would go as well later.

The drive to Suffolk was fine. The M25 was clear, the A12 was clear. The skies were clear too. It was a glorious Winter Day. It felt good to be seeing different roads for a change, different scenery. We drove right past Colchester United’s stadium by the side of the A12.

At just after midday, I was parked up at our hotel around half-a-mile from Portman Road.

I had been given a seemingly decent plan of pubs by a friend, Rob, who would meet up with us later. We caught a cab down to the marina and at just after 12.45pm we were supping our first lagers of the day at “The Lord Nelson.”

On the trip to Ipswich, I had tried to think of players that had played for both teams.

Colin Viljoen. Kevin Wilson. Jason Cundy. Craig Forrest.

I posted this on “Facebook” and a few more followed.

Omari Hutchinson – oh damn, of course.

Mark Stein – I had forgotten that.

Trevoh Chalobah – and that.

“The Lord Nelson” was a great little pub, and it dated from 1652.

I began with a couple of “Amstel” lagers.

From there, we trotted over to “Isaacs” on the marina. Just as Kevin, a Chelsea fan from Ipswich itself, came out to take a photo of us outside the glass-fronted pub, Kalvin Phillips waited behind the wheel of his huge car. His career stalled after his move from Leeds United to Manchester City and he is now part of Keiran McKenna’s squad at Portman Road. He is the player that Gareth Southgate pined for recently.

Yeah, I know.

We met up with Noel, Gabby and Paul, enjoying the mid-afternoon sun as the “Madri” lagers went down well.

Next up, at 3.45pm, was “The Thomas Wolsey”, another decent pub in the town centre. This one used to be run by Alan Brazil. The pubs were not, yet, particularly busy, but that did not matter.

“A Cruzcampo please barman.”

From there, a five-minute walk to “The Plough” where we arrived at 4.15pm. There were a few familiar faces here; Lee from Essex, Jimmy the Greek, Dave and Glenn the brothers, Liam and his father, Pete – last seen everywhere – but pride of place goes to Rob, the guy in charge of the pub crawl, and our mutual friend Steve, who goes all the way back to that 1984/85 season as he was on the very same Human Geography course as me in Stoke-on-Trent.

“Peroni please barman.”

Apparently, this pub was meant for “home fans only” but I didn’t see any signs. Everyone was on fine form, what a great pre-match.

Incidentally, talking of “firsts”, Steve – with his twin brother Sean – travelled up with me in 1986 from Stoke for my first-ever visit to Old Trafford, but that’s a story for another day.

At about 7pm we strolled off to the game. It was only about a fifteen-minute walk.

On the drive up to Ipswich, I had joked with the lads that despite us arriving in Ipswich at around midday, we should not be too surprised if we were huffing and puffing our way through the turnstiles with five minutes to go before kick-off. Well, on this night, we surpassed ourselves. Despite a delay getting in, I was inside with a whole fifteen minutes to spare.

Portman Road was as I expected it really, although the double-decker stands behind each goal have been additions since the team were in their heyday in the late ‘seventies and early ‘eighties. My mate Steve has a season ticket at Portman Road these days, although I am sure he won’t mind me reminding him that he favoured Derby County when I first knew him.

Chris : “More clubs that Jack Niclaus.”

Steve : “More clubs than Peter Stringfellow.”

Rob : “More clubs than Tiger Woods.”

Before we knew it, Portman Road was engulfed in the heavy sulphurous fumes from the fireworks that seem to be a pre-requisite of many top-level match days in 2024.

We had none of this shite in 1984.

Portman Road was full to the rafters, just a little shy of 30,000. It’s a nice and neat ground, well-proportioned, and – whisper it to Steve – not too dissimilar to Derby County’s old baseball Ground.

Us in 2024?

Jorgensen

Disasi – Colwill – Tosin – Cucarella

Caicedo – Enzo

Madueke – Palmer – Felix

Nkunku

I loved the Ipswich Town pinstriped shirts, so reminiscent of the good old days of clean and crisp shirts by Adidas and Le Coq Sportif. This one is by Umbro, and it’s a cracker.

We were in a solid block of three thousand in the upper tier of the East Stand, the Cobbold Stand. I was stood with Gary and John, just a few rows from the front, a fine view. This stand was named after the family who presided over the Alf Ramsey League Championship season of 1961/62 and the Bobby Robson cup triumphs in 1978 and 1981. However, I always think that unless we are behind the goal at away venues, the involvement – and noise – is never as good. It’s just something about being stood en masse at one end.

We looked a bit edgy – “not at the races” – and it was the home team that forced the upper hand in the early exchanges.

After twelve minutes, the ball was pushed forward by Leif Davis, whoever he is, and it met the run by Liam Delap, who pushed the ball past Filip Jorgensen. To our horror, the referee John Brooks pointed to the spot, and Delap drilled home the ball into the left-corner, just beyond Jorgensen’s dive.

Fackinell.

Ipswich Town 1 Chelsea 0.

Jorgensen made an absolute stunner of a save soon after, tipping a rasping effort from that man Delap over the bar.

Halfway through the first-half, a sweet low curler from Cole Palmer smacked the base of a post from a free-kick, and the ball was hacked away before a Chelsea player could pounce.

A cross from Palmer cut out everyone and Joao Felix smacked the ball in to the goal, but our celebrations were cut short with a signal that we all dread : VAR check.

A long wait.

Sigh.

No goal.

Chelsea created a few half-chances, but the home side dug in and covered space, tackled hard, and looked more organised. Marc Cucarella shot wide, Moises Caicedo shot over.

Another Delap and Jorgensen shoot-out, thankfully our ‘keeper saved.

Delap was a real handful though.

Just before the break, a curler from Palmer was expertly saved by Christian Walton in the home goal.

The first half hadn’t been great, and I was frustrated with our support, many of whom were standing in silence. It reminded me of the League Cup tie at Middlesbrough last season and we were along the side on that night too.

Sigh.

What of the second-half, then?

We actually began strongly, with efforts from Felix and Madueke.

Alas, on fifty-three minutes, a disastrous pass from Axel Disasi was intercepted by Delap  who kept the ball before passing to Omari Hutchinson. Our former youngster cleanly wrong-footed Jorgensen with a drilled shot back across the goal.

Ipswich Town 2 Chelsea 0.

Oh God.

The rest of the game was a blur really.

55 minutes : Nicolas Jackson for Joao Felix.

Christopher Nkunku had looked ill-placed to play upfront, to lead the line, and he hardly got a sniff, and we hoped that Jackson might inject some life into the team as Nkunku was shifted wider.

We just looked tired and jaded, without ideas, without energy.

65 minutes : Jadon Sancho for Nkunku.

Moving Nkunku out wide had not worked. If anything, the ever-willing Cucarella was more of a threat.

The Chelsea fans had almost given up by now.

To be fair to Sancho, he looked the liveliest of the lot during his cameo.

77 minutes : Malo Gusto for Disasi, the less said the better, and Pedro Neto for Madueke, average at best.

We conjured-up a couple of half-chances, no more than that, and there was still time for a lung-bursting run from Delap down in front of us, as if to rub it in. It has been a while since I have seen such an old-fashioned striker ply his trade in the topflight.

It ended 2-0 and we sloped off into the night.

Outside, next to a statue of Sir Bobby Robson, we gorged ourselves on hot dogs and burgers. We needed to be warmed-up, somehow.

Chelsea vs. Manchester United :

Pre-Game :

Ipswich Town vs. Chelsea :

Post-Game :

Postscript 1 :

After I had dropped Lord Parky off on Tuesday afternoon, and only around six miles from home, I was zapped by a policeman with a speed gun in the village of Rode. It was just what I needed. After our terrible results over the past ten days, I turned to PD in the passenger seat and said :

“Well, it looks like I will end up with more points than Chelsea this Christmas.”

Postscript 2 :

Well, I finally got through those nine Chelsea games in December. Five trips to London, one to Southampton, one to Almaty, one to Liverpool and one to Ipswich. I’ve seen the games, I’ve taken the photos, I’ve caught the flights, I’ve driven the car, I’ve written the blogs. It all resulted in over 10,000 views in one month, by far the highest monthly total since this site hit the newsstands in July 2013.

Thank you all so much.

See you at Selhurst Park next Saturday.

Tales From A Box

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Chelsea vs. Fulham : 26 December 2024.

Nobody likes sloppy seconds.

And that was a very sloppy second-half performance. We just about edged the first-half, but lost our way significantly after the break.

Right, that’s the match report done. What else happened on Boxing Day 2024?

I was up early for the game with Fulham. The alarm rang at 5.30am and I soon got into my morning routine. While my hometown prepared itself for the Frome Town vs. Plymouth Parkway game at 3pm – a relegation six-pointer – I crept around in the darkness and collected first PD and then Glenn. Then a quick spin through some back roads to collect Ron from his house at 7am and then on to collect Parky at 7.20am.

There were five-up in the car for the first time since Aston Villa a few weeks back, and this was only the third time this season that Ron has been with us. It was lovely to get the gang back together. As a “thank you” for the time we spend with Ron, the Chelsea Foundation very kindly gave Glenn a ticket for the Chelsea Foundation box for the Villa game, and today it was my turn. This allowed me to give my season ticket to Glenn who would be watching alongside Alan, Clive and PD in the Sleepy Hollow.

On the M4, as we headed west near Swindon, everything was quiet. Outside, the skies were a mixture of black and various dark grey hues. There were strong blocks of darkness, some low-lying cloud, but in truth it didn’t look like the sky at all, more a painter’s palette, with colours mixing and blurring. With the spots of water on my driver’s side window contorting an already ethereal scene, the effect was mesmerising. Then, suddenly appearing high, just through some gaps in the blotchy clouds, I spotted the moon, though it was the slimmest and feintest sliver of white, barely there, barely visible.

The road was almost devoid of traffic.

I stopped at Membury Services for a couple of cans of iced coffee to keep me going, but also a very stale bacon bap.

On the drive, I coolly stated that “Fulham never win at Chelsea. Their last win was in 1979 in the old Second Division.”

I drove into London bang on time. I dropped PD and Parky off near The Eight Bells at 9.30am and I dropped Ron and Glenn outside the main gates just after. I did a little driving around SW6 – some reconnaissance – to check out the area’s new parking regime. In the end, I parked, again, right outside the Italian restaurant that I used for the Shamrock Rovers game, which seemed strangely ages ago. Then, a brisk walk down to Stamford Bridge.

I had been keeping a secret from the chaps for this game. Our great friend Dave was over from his home in the South of France with his football-mad seven-year-old son Jared and I had managed to obtain two tickets for them via my friend Gary. Dave was originally from Dartford in Kent but I first met him out in Los Angeles when Chelsea played a couple of matches in the summer of 2007. At the time he was living in New York and only returned to England in around 2013. He was, memorably, with me when Demba Ba did his magic at Anfield that year. Since then, he moved to France. His son has top Chelsea pedigree; he was born on the same day that Chelsea won at West Bromwich Albion in 2017 to win our last league title. I visited Dave in Nice for a day in September 2023 while on holiday on the Italian Riviera, but the lads had not seen Dave for a good three years or so. We decided to keep their visit a surprise.

Dave and Jared, a keen footballer now, had encountered train problems en route but were waiting for me ahead of schedule at 10.15am. We met up with Glenn in the hotel bar and there were hugs and smiles. I handed over the two season tickets, just a few yards away from our seats, and then the three of them sped off to meet up with the lads in the pub near Putney Bridge.

I sat with Ron, and three long-time Chelsea fans – John, Mark and his mother – and waited for a few more of the other Chelsea players who take part in the pre-match hospitality to arrive. I was gasping for a drink, but was gasping at the price that I was charged for a small “Diet-Coke”; a mighty £3.58. It was nothing more than half-a-pint.

A dry bap, an expensive “Coke”, I was doing well.

I really enjoyed spending time with the three supporters, two of whom – Mark and John – I regularly see at the hotel. Both kept me occupied with stories from a shared Chelsea past. I had chatted to Mark at our mutual friend Gary’s funeral back in June, and Mark’s mother was there too. His mother had been born locally in Chelsea in 1940 and lived very close indeed to Stamford Bridge, possibly just off the Fulham Road. She explained how she got to know some of the players in the late ‘fifties, and how one of them – I forget who – was her late husband’s best man, and that two others were Mark’s Godparents.

Talk about Chelsea heritage.

Some players arrived.

Tommy Langley, Gary Chivers, Colin Pates, John Bumstead, David Lee, John Boyle.

They paired up and went on their way around the executive and hospitality areas at around midday. There was more chat with a few other Chelsea fans; a couple from Boston, their first match, a couple of lads from Norway.

At 1pm, I disappeared out of the hotel and soon find myself being welcomed into the Chelsea Foundation box that sits next to the Shed Wall inside the stadium, right down the southern end of the West Lower. Glenn had praised the lovely selection of food on offer at the Villa game, and I was looking forward to some better-quality food than I was served at Membury Services. Not long after I had sat at one of the two tables, I spotted a former player arrive.

Brian Bason played nineteen games for Chelsea between 1972 and 1977, and I think that he was taken aback that I recognised him. We had been friends on Facebook before my account was hacked in June, and I had actually forgotten that we were friends again on my new account. I enjoyed hearing about Brian’s Chelsea career and it gave me great pleasure to hear that he was a boyhood fan of the club. I am not sure if it was his debut, but he told the story of him playing at Tottenham in October 1972 – and winning 1-0, of course – and being so thrilled that Ron Harris gave him a lift back to his house after the game.

“Ron wasn’t a dirty player. He was just hard and solid.”

We spoke about Brian’s blooter against Carlisle in the autumn of 1975, but how Sammy Nelson broke his leg in a League Cup tie at Highbury in October 1976. I remembered that I had seen Brian play twice for Chelsea – at home to Cardiff City, away to Bristol Rovers – and those games were just before the leg-break. Incidentally, Brian was replaced by Ron Harris in that Arsenal game.

Brian went on to play 130 games for Plymouth Argyle, and also for Vancouver Whitecaps, Crystal Palace, Portsmouth and Reading. While playing in the NASL he played against Pele and George Best. Just imagine that. Brian retired from football in 1983 and he now lives in Brittany. He’s a lovely chap.

The food on offer was unsurprisingly top quality, and I devoured some chicken breasts with assorted vegetables. As I was driving, I kept to “Diet-Cokes” and strong coffees.

Ron arrived with David Lee, Colin Pates, John Bumstead and Gary Chivers and tucked into some food too; “I’m starving.”

At 2.45pm we went outside and took our seats in the front row of the two rows in front of the box.

A box on Boxing Day. The SW6 derby was about to begin.

Back in 1984, Chelsea faced another local foe in a Hammersmith & Fulham derby. On 26 December 1984, we travelled to Loftus Road and eked out a 2-2 draw, with both goals coming from Kerry Dixon, one of them a penalty. I was listening in to score updates at home in Somerset. QPR was always a difficult ticket for me, and I didn’t see my first match at Loftus Road until 1995. Hell, I didn’t see my first game at Craven Cottage until 2004.

I dislike QPR intensely in the 1979 to 1990 period as they often seemed to have the upper-hand over us. I remember a horrible 1-3 defeat at The Bridge on a rainy and dismal Saturday in March 1979, and the couple of Rangers fans sat right in front of me in the East Lower.

The gate at Loftus Road on Boxing Day 1984 was a mighty 26,610. At least half of the spectators would have been Chelsea. We used to take over the place in those days.

Here is a comparison with QPR’s home games against all London teams that season.

Tottenham Hotspur 27,404

Chelsea 26,610

Arsenal 20,189

West Ham 16,085

QPR had seven gates under 12,000 that season, including 11,007 on a Friday night against Liverpool, the European Champions, although that game was live on TV. In those days, TV games were often poorly attended.

In 2024, it was a mild Boxing Day, and the masses had packed out Stamford Bridge to another capacity crowd.

Us?

Sanchez

Gusto – Tosin – Colwill – Cucarella

Caicedo – Fernandez

Neto – Palmer – Sancho

Jackson

It was odd to be watching from such a strange angle. I noticed how shallow the West Lower is; a really low rake, a low angle, unlike the old West Stand.

The game began and Chelsea attacked the Shed. Fulham probably enjoyed the best of the first five minutes but we steadily improved as the game developed. Jadon Sancho on the far side was an early bright spark, an early leading light, and he looked keen to impress. Both teams were sounding each other out, with only a few jabs being thrown.

On sixteen minutes, the game changed. Cole Palmer had started the game quietly, but there is always a threat when he is given the ball. Levi Colwill, our most consistent centre-back now, passed the ball to Palmer and he moved gracefully forward. He evaded the presence of one Fulham player and then another, all the while the ball mesmerizingly close to his feet. He advanced further and the coolly and calmly dispatched the ball through a crowd of legs and past Bernd Leno, who used to be a goalkeeper, and into the goal.

I’ll be honest. I could hardly believe what I had seen. I turned around and said “in those situations, he is ice-cold” and I immediately added to Ron and Brian that it was a goal that was so reminiscent of Jimmy Greaves. Greaves would often pass the ball into the net.

Chelsea 1 Fulham 0.

Fantastic.

From Alan in The Sleepy : “THTCAUN.”

Chris in the West Lower : “COMLD.”

Just after, there was some over-elaboration which frustrated us all, with Nicolas Jackson and Palmer combining but a weak effort on goal.

Just after that, some more lovely stuff from Palmer and a curler from outside the box. We were in a great little spell.

But then Fulham got involved in the game. There was a shot that cleared the bar, and then someone called Calvin Bassey had an unfettered and lengthy run up the park before shooting low, but Sanchez was able to save.

Adama Traore was playing well, too, and Alex Iwobi was floating around waiting to strike.

Halfway through the first-half, I mused that it was perhaps a little fortunate that we were 1-0 up.

A lovely free-kick from Cole Palmer was floated into an empty six-yard box where it was met by a dive from Marc Cucarella, but the effort was firstly saved by Leno and then kicked to safety by a teammate.

As half-time approached, I was able to say it was a decent enough game, and we had indeed edged it.

Bloody quiet though.

I turned to Ron.

“Good news. Frome are winning 2-0 at half-time.”

At the break, I fed myself manically.

Cheese and biscuits, a Christmas crumble with apple and mincemeat, some cheesecakes and ice creams, a coffee.

It was the quickest half-time ever.

“That’s what happens when you spend the entire time stuffing your face with food.”

I missed the start of the second-half by a minute or so, the shame.

There was a fine curling effort from Enzo that was tipped over the bar by Leno, then a header by Colwill that was quickly disallowed for offside. Such a shame, because it came from a deliciously whipped-in cross by that man Palmer.

Iwobi went close down at our end, and the game heated up. A few of us in the West Lower tried to get others fired up to join in with some chanting but it was a desperate struggle. The noise had increased, though. It was, no longer, football in a library.

Fulham definitely grew stronger and were especially worrying me on the counter-attack where Traore and others were occasionally gifted space. Cucarella, pushed inside when we had the ball, was often out of position when we lost the ball. Very often it was two white shirts against his solitary blue one.

As the second-half developed, we grew frustrated with our slow build up play. I struggled to see the point in us gathering some momentum, Fulham out of shape, but then slowing the game down to a snail’s pace.

An arthritic snail at that. An arthritic snail with asthma.

Fackinell.

We just didn’t go for the kill in that second-half. And our play became so sloppy, and lacking focus.

We grew tense.

Sanchez made a big save close-in from Andreas Pereira.

On sixty-six minutes, at last a chance, started by a fantastic tackle by Caicedo, and then a strong piercing run by Jackson but saved well by Leno.

“Frome are 3-0 up, Ron.”

An effort from Raul Jiminez was sliced way up into the Shed Upper.

The tension would not go away. Fulham were a decent team. No doubt.

Fulham made a few changes, but we only brought on Christopher Nkunku and his blue balloons in place of Jackson, who had not been at his best.

Our sloppiness continued.

On eighty-two minutes, a cross from the Fulham left by Iwobi was met by a big leap by Timothy Castagne, who headed it back for Harry Wilson to head down and in and past Sanchez. The play was right in line with us and it all looked like an offside was involved, but alas not.

We attacked again, the game opening up, but Fulham always looked better placed to exploit the spaces that were appearing. Six minutes of extra time were signalled.

Death or glory?

Something like that maybe.

Alas, in the very last minute, with us all standing in the box, Fulham attacked us after the ball was given up way too easily. Sasa Lukic burst in front of us and crossed low for Rodrigo Muniz to turn the ball past Sanchez.

I slumped in my seat as the Fulham players celebrated in the far corner.

Bollocks.

For the neutral, a decent game. Fulham had played well, and had deserved a point, but perhaps their victory – hello 1979, the lads would crucify me in the car – was equally of our doing as theirs.

To be honest, though, no grumbles. We had been poor in that second-half.

There was a quick “hello goodbye” with Dave and I gave Jared a hug. I was so sad that his first game at Chelsea had ended in the saddest of ways.

There was time to tell Ron and Glenn that Frome had eventually walloped Plymouth Parkway 5-0 (four wins in a row now, no goals conceded either) before I marched back to the car.

The Fulham fans were cock-a-hoop on the Fulham Road.

“There’s only one team in Fulham…”

I felt like saying “with not one single major trophy since 1879, it ain’t you” but I kept silent.

At Tony Millard’s “The Clarence” on the North End Road, the boozer where many old school Chelsea types, old school hoolies, and those on banning orders reside on match days, the opening bars of “Yes Sir I Can Boogie” by Baccara were playing. It was clearly a very strange night in deepest SW6, but surely things would return to normal very soon.

Tales From The Grand Old Lady

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Everton vs. Chelsea : 22 December 2024.

Last season, the Everton away game was again just before Christmas, on Sunday 10 December, and at the time it was to be our last-ever visit to the Grand Old Lady on Goodison Road. I went into that game expecting it to be so and took tons of photos to commemorate my last-ever visit. Yet, between the time of the game and the day of posting my match report, five days later, it was announced by Everton Football Club that they would be staying one more year at the revered old stadium and would move into Bramley Moore Dock in August 2025.

Ironically, another recent visit had the feel of a potential “last-ever” game too, the match in May 2022, when Everton were deep in the relegation mire. On that day, Frank Lampard’s Everton squeaked home 1-0 and lived to fight again.

It seems like Everton, or rather Goodison, has been messing about with my brain for a few years now. God knows what actual Everton fans have been experiencing.

I was pretty happy with the 105 photos that I posted for last season’s match and I had a feeling that I might well match this high figure on this occasion.

Goodison Park and I go back a long way, to a match that was shown on ITV “live” on Sunday 16 March 1986, but many fans of my generation first experienced Goodison on Saturday 22 December 1984 – forty years ago to the day – and it is the one game that I wish that I had seen. The visit in 2024 would be my twenty-fourth Chelsea game at Goodison, but the game on that Saturday forty years ago was arguably our best performance there in the past four decades.

At the time, I was so annoyed that I was not able to attend the game at Goodison in 1984. I had returned home the previous weekend from my college town of Stoke, and would be listening-in on the portable radio as I did a shift in my father’s menswear shop in Frome’s town centre. I occasionally helped out at Xmas time when things got a little busier. But I was so annoyed that I was back in Somerset. It would have been easy to travel up by train from Stoke to Liverpool had I still been in The Potteries.

My diary from 1984 explains “the saga” at Goodison Park, and how I “went wild” every time we scored, especially when a score of Everton 3 Chelsea 1 was corrected to 2-2. We won the game 4-3, with Gordon Davies getting a hat-trick and Colin Pates getting one. Graeme Sharp scored two for the home team and Paul Bracewell scored the other. I had predicted a gate of 24,000 so was very happy with the attendance of 29,800. I went out in Frome later that night and had way too much to drink. It was our first away win in the league in 1984/85 though. These things have to be celebrated surely. Those that went to the match in 1984 often tell the story of all sorts of missiles being launched at the tightly packed Chelsea terrace and the seats high above the goal from the home enclosure in front of the main stand; pool balls, flares, golf balls with nails. Friendly bunch, Everton.

For the game in 2024 we set off early. I collected PD and his son Scott at 6am and Parky at 6.30pm. We breakfasted at a deadly quiet Strensham between 7.30am and 8am. I was parked up at the usual Stanley Park car park at 10.30am – a £13 fee – but as we made our way north to Goodison, the wind howled, and the rain fell. In Almaty there was no wind chill and there was no dampness in the air, and I coped OK. After a minute of being exposed to the bitter chill of Stanley Park, I was shivering like a fool. The rain seemed to seep into my bones. I was reminded of Turf Moor in 2017. We came off the vast expanse of the park and walked alongside more sheltered and tree-lined roads.

While the others went off to find shelter in “The Abbey” pub on Walton Lane, I met up briefly with a photographer pal of mine, David. We had bumped into each other at last season’s game and had kept in touch ever since. He often takes photos pitch side at the four grounds in Liverpool and Manchester. He was queuing up, hiding from the rain, underneath the towering main stand that rises dramatically from the pavement on Goodison Road like no other stand in England. Only Ibrox come close in the entire UK. He was after a good “speck” – Scouse slang for “spot” – behind the Park End goal. We had planned for him to take a few photos of my pals and I during the game.

As I made my way to the pub, I spotted a former Everton player from my early years, Mike Lyons.

“Hello Mike.”

No answer.

That’s because I quickly realised it was Martin Dobson.

Fackinell.

I dodged the rain and made my way inside the pub that was surprisingly quiet. We stayed inside from 11pm to 1pm, and the small, thin, cosy pub soon became rammed. We were made welcome, though. I chatted to some Evertonians from Aberdare in South Wales who were staying over. Jimmy the Greek, Nick the Greek and Doncaster Pail had joined us, and Ian then arrived with two random Evertonians he had met on the train and who had subsequently shared a cab together from Lime Street.

They are a lot more friendlier in 2024 than in 1984.

If anything, the inter-city rivalry between Merseyside’s blues and reds has heightened and intensified and turned nasty since 1984. I joked with Jimmy and commented that Evertonians hark on about Liverpool’s fan base now residing in Norway, and Liverpool bite back by saying that Everton’s global reach now goes as far as North Wales.

David, the photographer arrived with a programme for me, but reported that his “speck” was in front of the Gwladys Street, so no candid photos of us on this day.

Tommie and Chris – the brothers Grim, Tommie Chelsea and Chris Everton – arrived in the rain and I passed over spares. Then, I got drenched on the short walk to the ground, where I was serenaded by a “Town Called Malice” – an odd choice so far north – by a band playing in the fan park behind the impressive Dixie Dean statue.

There was time for one final, sad, circumnavigation of The Grand Old Lady.

The Winslow Hotel, where I popped in with my mate Francis for a drink before a game at Anfield in 1994, and if my fictional piece from 2012 is to be believed, where my father visited on his one visit to Goodison Park in around 1942, mid RAF training on The Wirral.

To the left, Jock spotted the frosted glass windows of a local hostelry. Without any words being exchanged, Jock quickly headed inside, his two friends left outside in his wake.

“A quick pint, Half Pint?” asked Hank to Reg. “It appears our Scottish friend is in need of liquid refreshment.”

They spotted Jock dart in the bar to the right of the main entrance of The Winslow Hotel and they quickly followed suit.

“Jock’s at the bar, Half Pint – this is a rare sight indeed. Let’s hope he doesn’t forget us.”

The cavernous bar was incredibly noisy and the three pals struggled to hear themselves be heard above the din of orders being taken, jokes being shared, vulgar belly laughs, shouts and groans. A young lad strode through the bar, bedecked in Everton favours – the blue and white standing out against the dismal colours of wartime England – and attempted to sell match programmes. He was not faring well. The locals were more intent on drinking. An elderly gent, with glasses and a pencil thin moustache, spoke engagingly to Reg about Dixie Dean, the great Everton centre-forward, who once scored 60 goals in a 42 game season.

As his knowledge of football wasn’t great, Reg wasn’t sure if this was the same Dixie Dean who had been ridiculed in the schoolboy poem of his youth –

“Dixie Dean from Aberdeen.
He tried to score a goal.
He missed his chance.
And pee’d his paints.
And now he’s on the dole.”

Talk of the imminent football match was minimal, though. It seemed that just being in an alien environment, so different from each of their hometowns, was amusement enough. Hank looked at his watch and signalled to the others to finish their drinks. Outside, the rain had started to fall. The three friends quickly rushed across to the stand and did not notice that the narrow street, darkened under the shadow of the structure, was busy with an array of match day activity; grizzly old men selling programmes, young boys selling cheap paper rosettes, wise-cracking spivs selling roasted chestnuts and cigarettes and young girls selling newspapers.

The main stand, and the elevator that I took to watch a game from the top balcony with my mate Pete in 1992 when Robert Fleck scored. The church of St. Luke the Evangelist, with its café and memorabilia shop that I visited in 2022.

The huge images of Dean, Sharp, Latchford, Royle, Young and Hickson towering over rooftops.

The Holy Trinity statue.

The pavement alongside where some local scallies had eyed me up and down on my second visit in late 1986 and sneered “that jacket is so fookin’ red” and I thought I might be in for a hiding.

Gwladys Street, where I walked with Josh and Courtney in October and where Courtney took a photo of two lads, in red and blue, playing football outside two houses with red and blue doors, a perfect image.

A turn into Bullens Road and the away end. Memories of a beautiful visit with my then girlfriend Judy’s young football-mad son James, aged just ten, his first-ever game in 1998, and then a repeat in 2006 with him, the 3-2 cracker.

The rain was bucketing down and the stewards just wanted us inside, so there was no camera search.

For one last time, I was in.

The familiar steps, the crowded concourse, the wooden floorboards of the Archibald Leitch Stand, our seats in Row B, effectively the front row.

I love Goodison. It’s obvious, right? But some hate it. I thought of them when I realised that a roof support was right in front of my seat, blocking a good deal of the pitch.

Fackinell.

I was lined up with Alan, John and Gary to my left and with Eck and Steely from Glasgow to my right. After being given a word of warning about using my SLR by both the chief steward and an over-zealous ambulance woman (!), I played cat and mouse with them all game long, and Eck was able to step in front of me to avoid me being seen. I am pretty sure I relied on Eck for this superb defensive partnership against prying eyes last season too.

Like Nesta and Cannavaro in their prime.

Eck and I found ourselves lip-syncing to “If You Know Your History”, it’s easily done.

Then, the big big moment…the sirens and “Z Cars” for one last time at Goodison.

Chills.

There is nothing better.

I have no doubt that Everton will keep this tune as a key part of their match-day routine at Bramley Moore. I am sure when it is played at the first-ever game, it will seem like the torch has been handed on.

Incidentally, the new stadium :

I love the location.

I am a little worried about parking and traffic flow.

The outside looks fantastic.

The inside seating bowl looks rather bland.

But I like the steepness of the rake of the terraces.

I like that – at the moment – the blue seats are not spoiled with sponsors names or other silliness.

How I wish that a few Leitch cross struts could be repositioned at key places on the balcony wall at the new digs.

With the kick-off time approaching, I checked our team.

Sanchez

Disasi – Colwill – Tosin – Gusto

Caicedo – Enzo

Neto – Palmer – Sancho

Jackson

Everton were a mixture of footballers and former footballers, some familiar, some not and how on Earth is Ashley Young still playing?

Both teams wore white shorts. Brian Moore would be turning in his grave.

Everybody standing, the rain starting to get worse, the game began.

Whisper it, but a win at Goodison would send us top, if only for a few hours.

We began the livelier and attacked the deep-sitting Everton lines in front of the Gwladys Street. There was a shot, wide, from Cole Palmer, and a couple of attacking half-chances involving Nicolas Jackson and Pedro Neto.

The rain was heavier now and seemed to be aimed right at us in the Bullens Upper. I sheltered behind Eck. The wind was blustery and seemed to change direction at will. Playing conditions, although not treacherous, were difficult, and it made for periods of messy football. The Everton crowd, not exactly buoyed by the news of the latest take-over, soon quietened down.

Neto had began the game as our liveliest player on the right and, after good play by Moises Caicedo, he fed in Palmer, and there was a low cross towards Jackson, but Jordan Pickford saved well.

We played well in short spells, and from a corner, Jackson smacked the post from close range and Pickford closed angles before Malo Gusto could attack the rebound.

Everton had been very defensive and offered very little. It was so noticeable that the Everton support were cheering defensive clearances.

“God, I know everyone loves their clubs and their teams, but imagine turning up to watch this every two weeks?”

At last, an effort on our goal; someone called Orel Mangala forcing a very fine stop from Robert Sanchez. Just after, another Everton effort, and Sanchez thwarted Jack Harrison from close range.

It had been a poor first-half and was met with moans and grumbles by the Chelsea faithful at the break.

Neto had been my favourite, and we loved the audacious piece of skill when he controlled the ball by knocking it back over his shoulder to fox his marker. Caicedo was strong. Sancho had a lot of the ball but was finding it difficult to get the best of Old Man Young. Disasi touched the ball so many times it honestly felt like he was our main playmaker. We cried out for a little more urgency.

Just before the second half began, Eck, Steely and I were now lip-syncing to “True Faith” by New Order and we hoped our faith would be truly rewarded.

“That’s the price that we all pay.
And the value of destiny comes to nothing.
I can’t tell you where we’re going.
I guess there was just no way of knowing.”

The weather was still wild. There were hints of a blue sky and sun, but only fleeting. At times the sky over the huge main stand roof took on a lavender hue. This was Goodison Park in the depths of winter, in the depths of Liverpool, in its unique setting. The wind grew stronger and the rain came again.

Football. There is something about it, in these old weather-beaten stadia, that absolutely stirs the soul.

Bizarrely, to me at least, it was Everton who created more chances of note in an increasingly worrisome second-half. On fifty minutes, a huge jolt to our confidence as Everton really should have scored. At last the home crowd made some noise that the old ground deserved.

Although Sancho looked a little more lively down below us – in an area of the Goodison Park pitch that always invokes of Eden Hazard twisting and turning – as the second-half continued, our link-up play was poor. Palmer was having a very average game, and this seemed to affect our confidence.

Some substitutions on seventy-five minutes.

Christopher Nkunku for Jackson.

Noni Madueke for Neto.

Everton attacked down our left, and a shot from Martin Gore lookalike Jesper Lindstrom was expertly stopped by Sanchez, but the block on the follow-up effort from Tosin was exceptional.

It was at this stage that we all began thinking that we would be happy with a 0-0, a point, and consolidation of a second place finish.

There were minimal minutes added on at the end of the ninety. It was if the referee Chris Kavanagh was happy to save us any more pain.

It ended 0-0.

As the legions of home and away fans departed, I loitered with my camera and tried my best to capture a few haunting images of my final ten minutes in a stadium that I have so enjoyed visiting over the past thirty-eight years.

My final Everton vs. Chelsea record at Goodison Park :

Played : 24

Won : 8

Drew : 7

Lost : 9

For : 23

Against : 26

I took some inevitable shots of the trademark Leitch cross struts on the balcony wall, and I was reminded of when I pinned my “VINCI PER NOI” banner on this section for our last great game at Goodison, the 3-0 triumph late in 2016/17. My words illustrate the joy of that day.

At the final whistle, a triumphal roar, and then my eyes were focussed on Antonio Conte. He hugged all of the Chelsea players, and slowly walked over to join his men down below us, only a few yards away from the touchline. With just four games remaining, and our lead back to seven points, the joy among the team and supporters was palpable. Conte screamed and shouted, his eyes bulging. He jumped on the back of Thibaut Courtois. His smiles and enthusiasm were so endearing.

Altogether now – “phew.”

The songs continued as we slowly made our way out into the street. A message came through from my good friend Steve in Philadelphia –

“Chris, the image that just flashed on my screen was beautiful. A shot of a cheering Antonio Conte, cheering the away fans, with the Vinci banner in the background. Absolutely perfect shot.”

There was time for one last photo of me with the Gwladys Street in the background, and then one last shot of the exit gate in the Bullens Upper, a photo that I had taken just over twelve months earlier.

But now, it was final.

Thanks Goodison, for the memories, from Reg Axon in around 1942 and from me from 1986 to 2024.

Tales From Seven O’Clock On A Sunday Evening

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Chelsea vs. Brentford : 15 December 2024.

There was much consternation about Chelsea pushing the kick-off time for our West London derby with Brentford back to 7pm. At seven o’clock on a Sunday evening, people should be close to home, going through those sometimes-annoying Sunday evening rituals ahead of a new week of work, school or college. It’s an out-dated expression these days, but Sundays were always days of rest. Football fans – “those who go” – at such a time on Sundays, should at least be well on our way home from a game. With a 4.30pm kick-off common in these days of football being the slave to TV, it is pretty tough to be setting off for home after a game in Liverpool or Manchester at 7pm.

However, at 7pm on a Sunday, football fans should not be rushing to get into a stadium to see the start of a game.

Sigh.

Chelsea deemed that the players needed an extra, say, four hours of rest after their trip to Almaty and the game the previous Thursday. I find this all a bit ridiculous. I am sure that the squad and management travelled on direct flights in style. Did they really require, effectively, four extra hours in bed? I doubt it.

Whatever. 7pm it was.

Ironically, the delayed kick-off worked for me. It meant that when I reached home just before midnight on the Saturday, I did not have to get up too early on the Sunday.

From the cheap seats : “What are you moaning for then?”

Me : “My personal situation doesn’t change the absurdity of it.”

I suppose I got to sleep at about 1.30am. I had, like the returning Chelsea players I suspect, managed to get a lot of sleep on my Azerbaijan Airlines flight home, and I woke at 9am feeling fresh.

I was planning to head up to Chelsea at 1.30pm or so.

No rush.

As I mentioned in the Astana blog, Frome Town had walloped Swindon Supermarine 3-0 at home on the Saturday. This was a huge fillip. It was our second successive league win and the first home win of the season. For the game with Brentford, I was travelling up to Stamford Bridge with my friend Courtney from Chicago. He so enjoyed his first Frome Town game in October that he was back for more. He was more than happy to combine Chelsea and Frome Town again. At 12.30pm we met up for a Sunday Roast at a local pub in a nearby village. This was, officially, Courtney’s first-ever roast on a Sunday in England. The roast beef went down a treat.

At about 1.45pm we set off for Chelsea. The trip up was pretty decent, and we chatted about all things Chelsea and all things Frome.

At around 4.45pm I was just about to park up in the usual place when I spotted new parking signs. We had been warned that new parking charges were coming into effect soon, but no solid date had been announced. I quickly did an about-turn and headed a few blocks north to Charleville Road. Here the parking was free after 5pm, rather than not until 10pm further south, nearer Lillie Road.

There was a short and brisk walk to West Kensington tube to Earls Court. As we changed platforms, I commented to Courtney about me first walking up towards the southbound District Line to Wimbledon in March 1974, over fifty years.

Courtney : “Probably the same steps.”

Chris : “Definitely the same legs.”

We shot through Fulham Broadway, always an odd feeling, and alighted at Putney Bridge. Here, PD and Parky – and a few other usual suspects – had been slurping since around 1pm. The two of them could not wait for my late arrival and, instead, had taken the train up to Paddington. Nothing gets in the way of a pre-match drink-up for these two Herberts. The place wasn’t too busy, and Courtney and I were able to find a quiet corner to sit and chat.

At just after 6pm, there was a call to arms and so Parky, PD, Courtney, Doncaster Paul, Jimmy the Greek, Nick the Greek and little old me set off for Stamford Bridge.

Forty years ago, to the very day, I made my way to Stamford Bridge alone. On Saturday 15 December 1984, Chelsea played Stoke City in Division One. I was now back in Somerset after spending my first term at North Staffs Poly, and it was odd that I was now watching my quasi-hometown team play at The Bridge. I travelled up by train to Paddington and my diary reports that I spent the morning doing what I often did on Chelsea home games. I toured the West End shopping areas – Oxford Street, Bond Street – on the look out for clobber in several shops. For the first time I spotted the “Giorgio Armani” shop on New Bond Street (not Emporio Armani, that came later) and baulked at the price of those delicious pullovers. “Gee2” was nearby, and their pullovers were similar. Alas, I was a mere student and would soon succumb to a cheaper “Robert Klein” rip-off version at a shop in Stoke. I remember that I bumped into my college room-mate Chris on Oxford Street, visiting from his home on Teesside. What a small world.

I remember that I had been talking to a Stoke fan, Tim – he looked like Lou Costello – at that party above a pub before the Sheffield Wednesday away game and he confidently predicted that Stoke would take “a firm” to Stamford Bridge, but I wasn’t confident that he was telling the whole truth. Beer, bravado and bullshit, more like.

I sat with Alan in the West Stand benches.

So much for Tim’s protestations of greatness. Stoke only brought between 75 and 100 fans in a crowd of just 20,534. A Stoke firm? No. Most of them looked infirm. I didn’t see him.

This was a dire match. The suspended David Speedie was sadly missed. Stoke defended and defended. On seventy minutes, Pat Nevin sent over a cross that Gordon Davies reached. Former Manchester City ‘keeper Joe Corrigan, deputising for Peter Fox, saved his header, but Kerry Dixon headed home the rebound. Sadly, a minute later, Paul Dyson slid in and prodded in an equaliser from close range.

It was a poor game on a dull afternoon in London. I returned back to Frome where I went out for a few beers with a mate who had returned from college in Tottenham for the Christmas period. I bumped into Glenn wearing one of those patchwork leather and suede jackets that were becoming a sought-after item, on London’s terraces if not further north, in 1984/85. I would later to succumb to one of those buggers, too.

In 1984/85, Brentford were in the Third Division, and a place at the top table would have been a pipedream. Yet they are an established topflight team these days and were victorious in each of their previous three visits to Stamford Bridge in the Premier League.

But I was confident. Cole Palmer was playing for us, right?

Indeed he was.

Us :

Sanchez.

Gusto – Tosin – Colwill – Cucarella

Caicedo – Fernandez

Madueke – Palmer – Sancho

Jackson

Chelsea in blue, Brentford in red and white stripes.

Courtney had taken Clive’s place in The Sleepy hollow.

PD – Alan – Courtney – Chris

What a back four. No inverted full-backs here but no end of wide players though, myself included.

The Ron Harris Derby began.

There was an early header from Nicolas Jackson, and then the game flattened out a little, with slow build-ups from Chelsea in front of a Brentford midfield and defence that defended so deep that the players almost started shouting at each other with South London accents.

After the chill of Almaty, this was a ridiculously mild night in SW6.

There was an angled drive, again from Jackson, beautifully found by Moises Caicedo, as we dominated the ball. Their ‘keeper Mark Flekken blocked the effort. A couple more Chelsea efforts, from Palmer and Madueke emphasised our dominance.

On seventeen minutes, Robert Sanchez had us all worried when he mis-controlled the ball close to his goal line but was able to recover.

All of us pedants in The Sleepy Hollow, if not the entire Matthew Harding, became obsessed with two balls being on the pitch at the same time. A ball sat on the pitch a few yards from the goal-line.

We kept tut-tutting.

“The game should be stopped.”

“If a goal is scored, it really should not count.”

“The lino is not far away. Why can’t he flag the referee?”

“Has no official seen it?”

After a few minutes, a ball boy rose from his seat and picked it up and took it off, accompanied by, possibly, the loudest cheer of the game thus far.

I purred at the unreal close control from Palmer which set up a chance, but it went wide for a corner.

The chances were mounting, but I thought that we were half-a-second slow in our passing half-a-yard slow in our movement. It was too pedestrian.

A block from Colwill thwarted a Brentford effort from Mikkel Damsgaard, whoever he is.

It was mild in the stands too. Oh, modern football. The noise levels were dire.

However, on forty-three minutes, Malo Gusto pushed the ball out to Noni Madueke. He floated a fine ball into the box and Marc Cucarella attacked the ball. He guided a fine header down and in at the far post from the edge of the six-yard-box.

Get in you fucker.

Alan : “THTCAUN.”

Chris : “COMLD.”

I silently dedicated the goal to all those fools who left for a half-time drink or slash just before.

At the break, mixed feelings. Happy to be ahead. Not overly happy with our approach play. But winning. Unlike against Stoke in 1984.

There wasn’t too much of a reaction from Brentford, and it was business as usual as the second half began.

It really was all us.

On the hour, a lovely move involving a wriggle and a dribble from our boy Palmer, and then a cross from Jadon Sancho set up the on-rushing Jackson. He could not believe the miss, high, and nor could any of us. Heads were nestled in hands throughout the Matthew Harding in a flash mob homage to “The Scream” by Edvard Munch.

Fackinell.

We kept going. Our chances came but nothing clearcut.

On seventy-two minutes after a little head tennis in our box, the ball was pumped back in and Christian Norgaard, whoever he is, settled himself before volleying at goal.

I knee-jerked a yelp of “goal!” but was utterly amazed by Sanchez’ amazing leap and save. It was magnificent.

On seventy-six minutes, the ball was out to the Brentford right and Cucarella had been sucked in, following the ball. A low cross was met by a stab by Fabio Carvalho and the ball smashed the crossbar before bouncing out, the ball landing right on the line.

Phew.

This was tense stuff now.

Come on Chelsea.

Jackson easily fell inside the box down below us and we groaned. Thankfully, not long after I caught the run from Jackson, released from deep by a lovely ball from Enzo, and snapped as he set himself up to breeze past Ethan Pinnock, and then fire low past Flekken.

GET IN YOU BEAUTY.

Just after, eighty-three minutes, Christopher Nkunku replaced Jackson.

He was warmly applauded.

“He’ll miss more than he will score, but what player is any different? He’s a threat.”

Rather than an easy slide into the last moments of the game, we were treated to some typical Chelsea nervousness after a sliding tackle from Tosin missed both ball and player and Bryan Mbeumo on a quick break was able to finish impeccably.

Seven minutes of extra time were signalled and the crowd grumbled. It was seven minutes of hell, but we held on. Cucarella had been as good as anyone. He had my vote for Man of the Match, so it was with some surprise and a little sadness that we learned that he was sent off after the final whistle.

However, second place.

What a bloody fantastic effort.

Tales From Two Away Games

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Tottenham Hotspur vs. Chelsea : 8 December 2024.

The game at a wet and windy Southampton behind us, we were now ready to think about the next hurdle during this mammoth month of nine matches in December.

Tottenham Hotspur vs. Chelsea.

It makes the pulses quicken, doesn’t it?

On the Saturday, I was busy, as busy as hell. My trip to Kazakhstan was coming up on Monday morning and I needed to make sure I had planned everything to be as near perfection as I possibly could. I also needed to write the blog from the Southampton game. With these two events to occupy my mind, there never was going to be a Frome Town game to attend on the first day of the weekend. My local team were set to travel down to Dorset and play Poole Town. As luck would have it, Storm Darragh was likely to wreak havoc, and the game was quickly called off during the first few hours of Saturday morning.

I was just about to launch into the Southampton match report when it was announced at around 10.30am that our three matches in the new FIFA World Club Cup – against Flamengo, Esperance and Leon, as drawn at around 7pm on Thursday – would take place in Atlanta and Philadelphia.

As if I needed something else to occupy my mind on this busiest of weekends.

But occupy my mind it did. Briefly, the plan will be to avoid the game against Leon in Atlanta, but to fly into New York and revisit that city before heading down to Philly for the other two games. The plan is for Glenn from Frome to ride alongside me. We quickly discussed a few notions and ideas, and I messaged a few close friends in the US. I also spoke to my good friend Steve who resides in South Philly, less than two miles from where we will be playing in June at the 67,000 capacity Lincoln Financial Field. To say he was ecstatic would be halfway there. I could sense his exhilaration on the ‘phone. He was truly thrilled.

Philly is a great venue for me. I visited it first in autumn 1989, then again for a baseball game in 1993, and another in 2008, then with my mother in 2010, and then again with Chelsea for the 2012 All-Star Game in nearby Chester, with baseball games on both of those visits too. It is the city where my great great grandparents lived in around 1860. I like it a lot. For once I have to commend FIFA in planning two games in one city, with the third game at least in the same time zone.

But that is next summer. There will be plenty of time to work on a plan for that in due course.

All of this talk of exotic away games…

There was a time when a normal Common or Garden, run of the mill, bread and butter (OK, FFS – everyone gets it!) away game used to excite me like nothing else.

The Tottenham away game would be my five-hundred and thirteenth away game. Forty years ago to the exact day – Saturday 8 December 1984 – my tenth ever away game was at Hillsborough against Sheffield Wednesday.

Let’s go back in time.

My first five away games had been in Bristol, four at Rovers and one at City. Then there were two within a month in March 1984 at Newcastle United and Cardiff City. Then a friendly at Bristol City, then the massive opener at Arsenal. While living in Stoke-on-Trent, I missed a lot of away games due to bad luck – being in the wrong place at the wrong time – and was forced to wait a few months for my next one, a lovely away day at our big 1983/84 rivals to the north of Sheffield’s city centre.

I remember a fair few things about that day, but I can consult my 1984 diary too.

I was up early at 7.30am, which was a good effort since there had been a boozy birthday party at our local in Stoke on the Friday night, which typically involved a fight with a local – a Stokie – who came unstuck with one or two of my mates. I woke with a slight hangover. I caught the train at 8.39am and changed trains at Derby. My flat mate Bryan travelled with me to Sheffield as he was off to a party that night in the city. We arrived at 10.15am. I clutched a map as I walked north – where I got the map from I have no idea – and it took me an hour to get to Hillsborough. Penistone Road seemed to go on forever. I was ridiculously early, but I enjoyed seeing such a huge stadium for the first time. I loved seeing the huge Kop and the iconic cantilever stand up close.  I walked around it. I took it all in. A hideous steak and kidney pie was purchased.

I bought a seat ticket for £4.50 for the upper tier of the away end, a real treat. I waited for others to arrive. The few Chelsea fans present at such an early time were kept in a secure enclosure behind gates. A few mates arrived. Dave from St. Albans. Then Alan from Bromley and Paul from Brighton. They let us in at 1.30pm. A meat and potato pie next. The view in the seats was excellent. I spotted Mark from Sudbury. Then Sharon and Paula, the programme girls. My guess was around 6,000 Chelsea. The first-half was poor but got better in the second-half. Paul Canoville was always a threat. On eighty minutes, Pat Nevin reached the goal-line and clipped a cross over for Gordon Davies to head home from close range. The celebrations were amazing. Pure ecstasy. Then “that bastard” Imre Varadi headed home, and our hearts sank. Our first away win of the season was tantalisingly close, but despite a few late chances, it ended level. The gate was 29, 373. Sitting nearby was an infamous skinhead, Lester, who claimed that Hicky had been arrested on the way up.

A convoy of fifteen double-decker buses took us back to Sheffield’s Midland station, arriving at 5.30pm. We learned we had drawn Wigan in the FA Cup. Bizarrely, I bumped into Bryan at the station, waiting for a friend to arrive for the party. I caught the 6.21pm to Derby, where there was a load of United fans on the way back from their defeat at Forest. I returned to Stoke at 8.14pm. Out for a pint at the college disco, I saw a Wednesday fan who I had met the night before and we exchanged peasantries. Then back to my digs, my head no doubt full of Chelsea songs from the six-thousand army in Sheffield who had been the stars of the show yet again.

These were the best times of my life; the seasons from 1983/84 through to around 1988/89.

I miss the feelings of youthful camaraderie, rebellious noise, ridiculous characters, silly moments, cutting terrace humour, and also the magnificent adventures as we experienced new away grounds and new cities as our travels spread around the country.

In contrast to those “rights of passage” seasons, the trip to Tottenham on Sunday 8 December 2024 would be my twenty-sixth Tottenham away game although three of those were at Wembley.

My “rights of passage” days have long since gone – sad, isn’t it? – but this fixture stirs the emotions like no other.

The plans for this game changed due to my travel out to Kazakhstan on the Monday. I had decided to stay up in London after the game, which meant that PD and Parky had to make their own arrangements.

When I woke on Sunday morning, PD and Parky were already en route to London. They would stay in London too, near the Eight Bells in Fulham, and then drive home on Monday.

I left for London at 11.15am, and hoped to get to Barons Court, my basecamp for games against Arsenal, West Ham and Tottenham, by 2pm. It was a painful drive up; wet, windy, lots of traffic. It meant that I didn’t reach Barons Court until 2.30pm. From there, a quick coffee to give me some energy, and then the District Line to Monument, a walk to Bank, the Central Line to Liverpool Street. It had only taken me thirty minutes to get across town. I caught the 3.30pm train to White Hart Lane – I had a warm jacket on, it was boiling in the train, and I was stood next to three Tottenham fans who used the word “bruv” every three seconds.

I had a couple of spares to hand over to a work colleague’s daughter and her boyfriend, and it transpired that they were on the very same train. The timings all worked out. I soon met up with them outside the away end and I was inside at 4.20pm.

As I walked in, through the little alleyway, I smirked at the usual pre-match Tottenham rhetoric booming out all around me. To hear it, one would be tempted to think that they are a club at Real Madrid levels of achievement.

They aren’t.

I was down in the bottom corner, row 2, right by the corner flag with Gary and John. It seemed we were below the level of the pitch; it must have been the camber.

As kick-off approached, the lights dimmed.

“Oh God, here we go.”

No Southampton laser beams, but thousands of home fans turned their phone torches on and the huge bowl looked like another Barry Manilow gig.

The mosaics in the towering South Stand spelled out “Audere Est Facere” which means “We’re Pretty Shite” in Latin.

The team?

Sanchez

Caicedo – Badiashile – Colwill – Cucarella

Lavia – Enzo

Neto – Palmer – Sancho

Jackson

Or something like that. Being so low down it was difficult to tell if there were some subtle tweaks to our usual set up.

As at Southampton, Chelsea were in all blue. Tottenham were modelling shirts with an Arsenal-style affectation involving navy sleeves.

There was a lively start. We seemed OK.

However, on just five minutes, Marc Cucarella slipped and allowed Brennan Johnson, whoever he is, to race on in front of our disbelieving eyes. He was able to strike a firm cross into our box that former Chelsea youngster Dominic Solanke finished off with a sliding strike, the ball flying high into the goal past Robert Sanchez.

Fackinell.

Tottenham 1 Chelsea 0.

Their support boomed, and Solanke ran towards us before aiming an imaginary bow in our general direction; another prick who is off our Christmas Card list.

We still had most of the ball but found it difficult to watch as on twelve minutes, Cucarella again slipped, right in front of us this time. This allowed a move to quickly develop. The ball was played into Dejan Kulusevski, who was allowed too much space. His – almost scuffed – shot crept in at the near post.

Tottenham 2 Chelsea 0.

[inside my head : God, is this payback for the 6-1 in 1997? I hate this lot more than anyone else. Please God no cricket scores. Not here. Not against them.]

Well, thankfully, we didn’t crumble, we kept playing.

The next goal would be crucial, and we just had to score it. With the home team playing a high line, we kept pushing the ball into spaces out wide.

I saw Jadon Sancho advance on eighteen minutes, and I yelled out “don’t be afraid to shoot!”

Thankfully, he must have heard me because he ran on, then inside, and drilled a magical daisy-cutter into the goal, just inside the far post. I was right in line with his shot. I took great enjoyment with that one. Huge celebrations in our end. We were back in it, and well done us.

Tottenham 1 Chelsea 2.

This was a good game, keenly contested, and I was absolutely involved.

A half-chance for a relatively quiet Cole Palmer but wasted.

We were all yelling obscenities into the dark North London night when, on thirty-four minutes, Sanchez kicked a clearance right at a Tottenham player, and then did something very similar a few minutes later.

I kept saying to John “we need to keep turning the screw here”. No escape, no let-up, no mercy, get into them Chels.

More half-chances for us in front of that ridiculously high and imposing South Stand.

Strangely, though, both sets of fans were relatively quiet. It surprised me that not one Chelsea supporter chose to sing about “winning 6-1 at The Lane.”

A Tottenham corner, against the run of play, and a header tickled the top of Sanchez’ bar causing the tightly stretched net to ripple.

Then, Nicolas Jackson – a threat in theory – had two great chances but was thwarted by some desperate defending.

At half-time, I would say that the mood in the Chelsea section was positive, even buoyant. I spotted PD behind me and he came down to join the three of us for the second period. At the break, Malo Gusto replaced the seemingly injured Romeo Lavia, who was injured in the closing minutes of the first half.

In the opening flurry of activity in the second period, Sancho was involved on our left and perhaps should have pulled the trigger a little more often. Pedro Neto came to life too. We began the second forty-five in great form, in great spirits, tons of energy.

A shot from the mightily impressive Enzo Fernandez, a shot from Gusto too.

We were all over Tottenham.

The volume increased.

On the hour, that man Sancho released Moises Caicedo and, as he burst into the box, he was clipped by Yves Bissouma,

The much-derided Anthony Taylor quickly pointed to the spot.

Yes!

I moved to the front of the gangway and prepared to capture the strike from Cole Palmer. I waited.

The shot.

The net rippled.

Tottenham 2 Chelsea 2.

Scenes!

I prepared to set my little camera to record the scorer’s run towards us, but – standing right at the front – I was swamped by on-rushing supporters as it seemed the entire section wanted to get as close to Cole Palmer as possible.

It was mayhem.

I took my baseball cap off so that I didn’t lose it, I took my glasses off and gripped them tightly, I held on to my camera for grim life. I was getting pushed right up against the wall.

Fackinell.

At the end of it, I just laughed.

“I think I have just been sexually violated.”

Everyone was delirious with our equaliser.

Magnificent stuff.

We were absolutely the better team now, and the away fans knew it.

“CAM ON CHOWLSEA. CAM ON CHOWLSEA.”

I said to Paul “I’ll take a 2-2 but I want to win it.”

On seventy-three minutes, the bloke behind me pleaded for Neto to push forward and provide an overlap for Palmer, who was shielding the ball only a few yards away. Palmer didn’t need any assistance. He twisted and turned, caressing the ball beautifully as he danced between a few Tottenham defenders. His shot was blocked, and it bobbled out to Enzo who lashed the ball in.

Tottenham 2 Chelsea 3.

Oh my God.

The place erupted again.

I raced down the front, hoping to get some photos but got crushed again.

I was in pain this time, but I was just giggling away like a fool. The photos that I took of the celebrations are too blurred to even contemplate sharing.

I returned to my seat, and I gave John a good old-fashioned stare. At 2-2, I had said that I hoped for us to be able to sing the classic “Tottenham Hotspur – It’s Happened Again” and now we could sing it with, er, gusto.

It was a beautiful moment.

“Tottenham get battered, everywhere they go.”

Christopher Nkunku replaced Jackson.

On eighty-four minutes, Palmer was shielding the ball away from Pape Sarr – “he’s not a footballer, he’s just a random selection of letters” – and I could hardly believe the idiocy that resulted in Palmer being chopped down.

Was I going down to the front of the stand to take a photo of Palmer’s second penalty?

No, not a chance. I waited in my normal seat.

We waited. And waited.

He ran, I snapped.

A Panenka.

I just burst out laughing.

Tottenham 2 Chelsea 4.

The home areas were now thinning out although you would not know since – a cunning ploy this – all of the seats at the Tottenham stadium are very dark grey.

It’s as if they knew.

Some late substitutions and Joao Felx, Renato Veiga and Noni Madueke replaced Palmer, Cucarella and Neto.

There was a later consolation from Son Heung-Min, but that was it.

There was no “bastard Imre Varadi” waiting in the shadows in this game.

We had done them again.

Bloody fantastic.

“Nine goals in two away games in five days, not bad at all.”

Those Tottenham away games?

My record is now :

Played : 26

Won : 11

Drew : 7

Lost : 8

We can, I think, start to call it “Three Point Lane” once again.

I made my way out and chatted to Mick for a few minutes. We both agreed how everything has come together over the last few weeks. Enzo Maresca has got inside their heads and has given them belief.

“Football is all between the ears anyway, right?”

God, we are only a few points behind Liverpool.

Our sudden rise has, I can safely say, surprised every one of us.

I dipped in for some food on the High Road, then caught the 7.45pm train back to Liverpool Street.

Schadenfreude as I sat among them for half-an-hour?

Oh yes.

I returned to my car at Barons Court at around 9pm.

And here I am, sat in a hotel at Heathrow, ahead of a flight – from Stansted, don’t ask – at 12.50pm tomorrow that will take me to Istanbul, and from there to Almaty in Kazakhstan for the game against Astana on Thursday.

Onwards, and eastwards.

I might see some of you there.

Tales From Forty Years Apart

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Chelsea vs. Aston Villa : 1 December 2024.

The Famous Five were back together again for the home game against Aston Villa; I was on the road at 6.30am and by 7.30am my four passengers had been securely collected. I was alongside PD in the front while Glenn, Parky and Ron were squeezed into the back seats. Villa have faltered of late, and I think that the consensus in the car was of quiet optimism.

“If we win this, it would be a great statement of intent. Villa are no mugs. But we can bet them. If we win by three goals, we can rise to second place.”

My voice had begun strongly but tailed off. Deep down I thought that a win involving a margin of three goals might well be beyond us.

I was parked up at around 9.45am on a grey and slightly damp morning in the streets of Fulham. Time was of the essence during this particular pre-match and rather than take my time over a “sit down” breakfast at “Café Ole”, I quickly popped into the McMemory Lane Café further up the North End Road and scoffed a breakfast muffin.

You know what’s coming up, right?

Saturday 24 November 1984.

It was just after midday, and I was out and about in Stoke’s town centre. I can well remember the moment that I spotted a half-time score on a TV in an electronics shop on Church Street. Chelsea were playing against Tottenham at White Hart Lane, and it was an early 11.30am kick-off to deter excessive hooliganism. I saw the scoreline. We were 1-0 up. I bellowed a load “yes” and probably carried out a Stuart Pearson – who? – style fist pump. Being 1-0 up at the home of our most bitter rivals was one to celebrate. The goal came courtesy of Kerry once again, after just five minutes. Alas, Marc Falco – he was loaned to us two years previously, possibly one of our lowest of low points – equalised soon into the second-half for the home team. It left us in eighth place, and in a good state of health before the upcoming game at home to Football League and European Champions Liverpool the following Saturday.

Saturday 1 December 1984.

On the Friday, I had travelled back to Somerset, and on the morning of the game on the Saturday, I travelled up to London from Frome, by myself, by train. I was expecting to see Glenn en route but he was nowhere to be seen. This was to be the first in a double of huge home games in the month of December, with Manchester United visiting a few days after Christmas. There is no doubt that I was super-excited about the game with the red-shirted scousers. My record against them was perfect. Two games, two wins, at Stamford Bridge in 1878 and in 1982.

I got to Stamford Bridge ridiculously early and took in the early atmosphere. The place was excitedly expectant. I took my place on the back row of the West Stand Benches on a cold afternoon, alongside some friends who are mates to this day. A few rows behind us, up in the front rows was none other than Peter Osgood, my all-time hero. It was the first time I had seen The King since a game against Southampton eight years previously. My mate Alan took a photo of me before the game began. I remember I was sporting a pink Lacoste polo and a newly-acquired Robe di Kappa lambswool pullover from menswear shop in Stoke called “Matinique” where I had bumped into the Everton striker Adrin Heath a few weeks previously.

Eventually Glenn appeared after taking a later train from Frome and then Westbury. There was a ‘photo of him too, a picture of 1980’s Casualdom, with a bubble perm and a yellow Pringle.

I was obsessed by how many away fans of the various visiting clubs would show up at Stamford Bridge in 1984/85. There is no doubt at all that our home stadium had a fearsome reputation for away supporters, but I had been impressed with the West Ham following in early September, which must have reached the eight thousand level. Would Liverpool equal it? I wasn’t sure. From memory, they filled two pens, and a third was – as the game approached – mixed between home and away fans. There was a “set to” between the two sets of supporters in this third pen, and I can distinctly remember two things.  There were around four thousand Scousers present.

Firstly, Alan – alongside me – said that he had spotted Hicky, the leader of the Chelsea pack, in the heart of the action. Secondly, I remember the Scousers letting off red flares, which hinted at their European history, and which I had never previously seen before at Stamford Bridge. One or two were propelled towards us in the West Stand. Needless to say, my little Kodak camera went into overdrive and captured a few of the red flashes between the two battling factions.

This only heightened the atmosphere. It was a dark afternoon, and the air of malevolence hung over the north terrace as thick as the London fogs of the pre-war years.

Chelsea attacked that same north terrace in the first-half and a move developed down the right, in front of the East Lower. Kerry Dixon raced down the right wing in front of the East Lower and kept going. From memory, he drew the ‘keeper and then slipped it in to put us 1-0 up. Only ten minutes had passed. There was wild and wanton euphoria on The Benches and elsewhere in the stadium too.

Sadly, Jan Molby equalised for Liverpool at The Shed End on twenty-eight minutes.

Thankfully, the second-half went our way with goals from Joe McLaughlin, a towering header just after the break – his first goal for us – and a third from David Speedie on seventy-six minutes giving us a fully deserved 3-1 win.

I was ecstatic.

My record against Liverpool was now an incredible 3-0, in an era when they were the stand-out team in England by a huge margin.

The gate was a huge 40,972. It added to the magnificence of it all.

Altogether now :

“Chelsea Are Back, Hello, Hello.”

On the Friday, in Frome, I had bought a copy of the new Cocteau Twins album “Treasure” and as I walked along the Fulham Road towards South Kensington tube station, to avoid the formidable crowds at Fulham Broadway, I listened to the album on my sub-Sony “Walkman”, an AIWA version. With the night now fallen, and with Christmas lights in the shop windows, with those glorious shimmering sounds providing a scintillating backdrop, I was able to go over the afternoon’s events, and it is a memory that lives with me to this day.

Every time, I hear that album – it is my favourite, my favourite ever – I am immediately transported back to that December evening in London some forty years ago.

And it was exactly forty years ago.

Fast forward to 1 December 2024, and I was back at Stamford Bridge yet again.

My pre-match was predictably busy and I spent it with Glenn and my friend Pete, and his son Calvin – from Seattle – at the hotel where The Shed once stood before meeting up with a smattering of mates from near and far in the “Eight Bells.”

The Normandy Division, headed by Ollie, was in town, and there was a visit from Johnny 12 Teams and his wife Jenni 12 Markets. Tommie from Porthmadog called in and we talked about Brazil. I had watched the final of the Coppa Libertadores on the Saturday night with the Botafogo vs. Atletico Mineiro game an exact copy of the last game I saw in Rio in July. Botafogo won 3-0 in July and 3-1 in December. They took the last spot in next season’s FFA World Club Cup in the US.

I was pleased that Botafogo won – it was some game – and cheered me up a little. Although I did not attend, Frome lost a “must-win” relegation six-pointer at Marlow earlier that day.

Inside Stamford Bridge, one friend was missing.

Alan, my mate from that day in 1984, was a hundred or so miles away following his other club Bromley in one of their biggest ever matches. They were at Solihull Moors in the Second Round Proper of the FA Cup. Ironically, the tie was against the same team that Bromley had beaten in their play-off final at the end of last season.

I often wonder if I will miss a Chelsea game in favour of a key Frome Town game. That time will come, I am sure.

The minutes passed until kick-off.

I have suffered recent technological nightmares with both my mobile phone and my laptop ceasing to work over the past fortnight. I bought a new ‘phone a week or so ago and upon firing up the wi-fi offered by Chelsea Football Club, I was again dismayed to see that during the set-up to get my new device registered, the list of reasons for my visit to Stamford Bridge included around eight options (such as Commercial Sponsor, Commercial Guest and Banqueting) but there was no mention of football.

It made me want to cry.

Where has it all gone wrong, Chowlsea?

Fackinell.

The team?

Sanchez

Caicedo – Fofana – Colwill – Cucarella

Lavia – Enzo

Neto – Palmer – Sancho

Jackson

The game began at 1.30pm. It soon became apparent that Moises Caicedo pushed up and inside when we had the ball, and there was all sorts of fluidity going on at the top end of the pitch. It was enough for me to do to exactly work it all out.

The three of us regulars in The Sleepy Hollow – PD, Clive and yours truly – were joined by a lad from Los Angeles (his debut at Stamford Bridge) and a young woman from New York (her second visit) and as the game began, we tried our best to make them feel at home, but we warned them about the usual flurry of swearing.

The three thousand Villa fans were in decent voice and there was an early song honouring the well-loved Gary Shaw, who recently passed away.

I noticed that a few Sleepy Hollow regulars had arrived a little late, but I had to commend them as they arrived just in time to see us play the ball out to Marc Cucarella on the edge of the box who then whipped in a fine cross towards the near post. Nicolas Jackson was on hand to prod the ball in past Emiliano Martinez.

Chelsea 1 Villa 0.

Get in.

Just seven minutes had passed.

The visitors seemed happy to soak up the early pressure, but we were tested by a break away down below us in the inside-left channel by Ollie Watkins. Fearing danger, I yelled out “stay with him Fofana” but this is the exact opposite of what our French defender did. He appeared to trip over an imaginary leg, and Watkins left him for dead. We were oh-so thankful of Robert Sanchez’ alert block, his legs spread wide.

I thought to myself that Watkins would thrive in our team, but then immediately chastised myself for coveting a neighbour’s ox when we had Jackson within our midst, a very decent young player in his own right.

There were decent performances throughout our team as the first-half continued. The two wingers Pedro Neto and Jadon Sancho caught the eye, but Neto had more end product.

There was that rare sighting of an indirect free-kick well inside the opposing penalty box, but Cole Palmer’s effort was saved by Martinez, and Romeo Lavia’s follow-up was unsurprisingly blocked.

Sanchez gets some stick from us regarding his poor distribution, but Martinez made a howler himself, passing the ball straight to Jackson. Surely a goal here? Alas not, the ball would not sit up for a clean finish, and Martinez was saved blushes. This was not the only example of sloppy defensive play from the visitors.

On thirty-seven minutes, we won the ball in midfield via the twin powers of Caicedo – currently becoming one of my favourites – and Lavia. The ball was played to Enzo, and then to Palmer. Our Mancunian maestro, the stray dog, pushed the ball on to Enzo who had found space. A quick assessment of the moment, and Enzo despatched a low shot with unerring precision and the ball flew past his Argentinian teammate in the Shed End goal.

Chelsea 2 Villa 0.

How we celebrated. And how Enzo, the captain today, celebrated too, sliding into Parkyville and ending up lying still on the turf. He was soon mobbed by his teammates.

“And it’s super Chelsea. Super Chelsea FC.”

Oh we were all very happy at half-time.

Villa, I think, had been poor, and had rarely threatened. At times we had purred.

Clive spotted a change between the sticks for Villa. On came Robin Olsen for Martinez. We continued along similar lines as the first-half.

I had a little think back to the game at Leicester City the previous weekend. I realised how the dynamic of support had changed over the two matches. At Leicester, all three-thousand of us in that tight corner, all standing, in it together, out-numbered, grateful for anything, happy with any attack away from home, bellowing songs of support.

And now, in the comfort of home, sat, arms crossed, offering polite encouragement, almost as if we needed to be entertained.

There was a glorious tackle that Enzo won before steadying himself to play in Jackson, who ran on but sadly squandered the chance.

On the hour, the injured Fofana gave way to Benoit Badiashile.

Villa made changes themselves.

The quality of play dropped a little and we didn’t dominate quite as much.

Ross Barkley came on as sub and received a warm reception. He soon made his presence felt with a close-in header that Colwill did ever so well to head off the line.

I am sure that I wasn’t the only one begging for one more goal. Despite playing the far more impressive football, at 2-0, I was never content.

Another chance for Jackson, and one for Sancho too.

On seventy-one minutes, Enzo Maresca made a double-swap.

Noni Madueke for Sancho.

Christopher Nkunku for Jackson.

I spoke to Max, from LA :

“You’re not missing out on any of our stars here, mate, they are all playing today.”

The game continued on, and I still begged for one more goal. The mercurial Palmer was involved as the game reached the last section and had one or two shots blocked.

On eighty-three minutes, a free-kick was taken quickly by Palmer out to Madueke, who returned the ball. Palmer took a touch, and although he was seemingly hemmed in by a gaggle of Villains, his firm strike at goal was perfectly despatched, its curve and its trajectory utterly beautiful.

It’s a good job he works in ballistics.

Chelsea 3 Villa 0.

Not only was the goal a stunning creation, the post-goal celebrations were magnificent too, and it made me tingle to see everyone so happy down below us.

One last change.

Joao Felix for Palmer.

This was a lovely performance from us, and one which solidified our place within the top echelons of the table. A special word for Marc Cucarella. What a fine performance; determined, aggressive, but never out of control, what a player. I loved his succession of headed clearances atv the back post in the second-half.

This whole performance suggested that we are on track for a very fine season.

Everyone was happy.

We scurried back to the car, and we learned that we were locked in at second place with Arsenal, who were marginally – alphabetically – ahead of us. I began the long drive home. We heard that Liverpool won 2-0 at home to Manchester City, and we all said nothing.

Nothing at all.

Alan, in the Midlands, had enjoyed a fantastic day. His Bromley had won 2-1 and were, thus, in the draw for the FA Cup Third Round, where they could possibly draw us.

Happy times for Al.

After dropping off my four passengers, I knew I had to recreate a scene, of sorts, from forty years ago to the day.

A Cocteau Twins compilation was set up in my car and I turned it on. I had to skip one song, but there they were; three consecutive songs from “Teasure.”

“Beatrix.”

“Ivo.”

“Otterley.”

It was the perfect end to a fine day.

Next up, a quick jaunt down to Southampton.

See you there.

1 DECEMBER 1984

1 DECEMBER 2024

Tales From Foxes, Tigers And A Stray Dog

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Leicester City vs. Chelsea : 23 November 2024.

With the latest International Break behind us, real football was back on the agenda.

Leicester City would host Chelsea at the King Power Stadium, with an early kick-off at 12.30pm.

I collected the three amigos – PD, Glenn, Parky – by 7.30am as Storm Bert, don’t laugh, hovered in the background and threatened to upset the weekend. The drive north up the Fosse Way was, for once, a mundane affair, with dull grey skies overhead, pounding rain at times, and the glorious Cotswolds were only able to be glimpsed occasionally. Usually, it’s a grand trip up to Leicester, one of the joys of the football season, but this one was only memorable for the laughs that the four of us generated en route. We had stopped to pick up some rations at Melksham just after collecting Parky, and we had these “on the hoof” to save time. My focus was reaching the away pub, “The Counting House”, as soon as possible. I was hoping to be parked outside it just after 10pm.

Soon into the trip, I learned that Frome Town’s home game against Wimborne was off due to the weather. My focus, this weekend, was to just be on us.

I hit a little traffic nearing the final destination but, unlike the last time that I parked right outside the pub in 2022/23, my Sat Nav sent me right past the King Power Stadium. It felt a little odd to be driving so close to it, past the away entrance too.

I was parked up at 10.15am.

As we approached the boozer – it had opened at 9am and a fair few Chelsea were already inside – we spotted some familiar faces waving to us. Their smiles were wide.

Tom from New Jersey was in town. We last saw him at the very last game before Covid struck; Everton at Stamford Bridge in March 2020, a pre-match in the Eight Bells. He was next to Jimmy and Ian, recently mentioned in recent episodes, and they appeared to be sat at the same table. I wondered if they had been chatting and had realised that they had mutual friends that were soon to arrive. As it happened, it was just by chance that they were sitting close to each other. Pints were acquired and we perched together around a high-top table. It was soon difficult to hear conversations as the pub grew loud with the chants and songs of the – mainly young – pre-match Chelsea crowd.

Thoughts were positive in our little group. I think we all fancied a Chelsea win. I had to remind myself that Enzo Maresca was recently in charge at Leicester. Out of sight – in the Championship – means out of mind, I guess.

There was a little question that Ian – and his son Bobby – and Jimmy asked us, and it involved our two greatest, we thought, right backs; Branislav Ivanovic and Cesar Azpilicueta.

“Who was the best?”

Ian and I went with Ivanovic, the others with Dave.

There had been discussions about this on the way up in their car.

It was lovely to reflect on some of the great players that have worn our colours. I guess Steve Clarke, Dan Petrescu and Ron Harris would be in the next bracket.

Ah, talking of history, let’s quickly catch-up.

…to continue the 1984/85 season.

Wednesday 21 November 1984.

There would still be no mid-week game for me at Stamford Bridge. On this Wednesday evening, while I was in my college town of Stoke-on-Trent, Chelsea were playing against one of the previous season’s adversaries Manchester City in a League Cup tie down in SW6. We soundly won this game 4-1 in front of a very pleasing gate of 26,364 – let me emphasise how good this was, I was thrilled by it – with a hat-trick from Kerry Dixon and yet another goal from Keith Jones. This match, however, gained immediate notoriety as it featured one of the game’s all-time shocking penalty misses. During the previous twelve months, Chelsea’s lack of prowess from the penalty spot was well known, but it reached a nadir with Pat Nevin’s terrible “pass back in the mud” to City’s young ‘keeper Alex Williams. If you haven’t seen it, track it down, you will be shocked.

I was keen to get inside the stadium and get the inevitably tense “camera / bag / security check” out of the way. Thankfully, I calmly assured the steward who spotted my SLR that “don’t worry, I won’t take any photos” and I was allowed inside.

The concourse at Leicester would soon fill up, and I quickly chose to join Alan, John and Gary inside, down by the corner flag. PD would watch the game a couple of rows behind me, but Glenn and PD were elsewhere in the throng, I knew not where exactly.

Lecester City have grandiose plans to slap an extra tier on the stand that runs along the touchline to our left, but I wonder if they have the fan base to support it. The capacity would, if constructed, reach 40,000.

Our team?

A few surprises.

Sanchez

Fofana – Badiashile – Colwill – Cucarella

Caicedo – Enzo

Madueke – Palmer – Joao Felix

Jackson

Gary and I ran through the ever-rowing number of players that have, recently, played for Leicester and then us.

Ngolo Kante

Danny Drinkwater

Ben Chilwell

Wesley Fofana

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall

Of course, I remember Dennis Rofe.

The far side of the stadium was decorated with mosaics celebrating the one-hundred and forty years of the home club.

“Fosse to City. 140 Years of History”.

I soon spotted my Foxes mate Sally who sits in the far corner at all home games.

We always seem to have a good sing-song at Leicester these days, and as the game began, this was no exception. It was a very decent start in fact. Chelsea, in all white, and attacking that far end, absolutely hogged the ball as the first few moments and then minutes passed. The home team did not cause a threat offensively.

At all.

I was happy with our start, as were the noisemakers around me. The contrast between the away quadrant and the home fans close by was stark.

“The Leicester lot are quiet for a change, Gal.”

The former Tottenham player Harry Winks – nicely booed by us at the start, good work – was substituted early on after a knock.

I had already decided that the Leicester City defender Wout Faes was a lesser Fabricio Coloccini, and a much-lesser David Luiz.

We absolutely dominated.

After a couple of attacks, I found myself jotting a few notes on my phone. I looked up at just the right time, and saw a long clearance being chased by Nicolas Jackson but with Faes in proximity. However, the defender seemed to be chasing shadows, or maybe even the wrong ball and the wrong striker. As play developed, Jackson’s perseverance was rewarded.

He was un-Faesed.

After a fortuitous bobble, and with a deft flick of the boot, Jackson fought of a late challenge from Caleb Oko and skilfully lifted the ball past the home ‘keeper Mads Hermansen and into the goal.

Get in.

The away end roared, and I stabbed a quick fist-pump into the air.

“Great goal, Gal.”

I thought Leicester were awful, and their passing especially so. They defended deep, but simply could not muster together any coherent passes if they ever regained the ball. The home crowd were still so quiet.

A wild tackle on Cole Palmer warranted only a yellow card.

Palmer, involved at times but often quiet thus far, often has the appearance of a stray dog. It is a fine quality of his to wander into spaces, away from the pack, unconfined, unperturbed, free from others, and then suddenly become involved at the merest hint of a chance to exploit space.

I invented my own little nickname for him at Leicester.

“Go on the stray dog.”

He is, after all, a long way from Manchester now.

A succession of awful tackles riled the away support further and the atmosphere was stirred. The noise increased.

Madueke sent a curler goalwards, and then had a goal chalked off for offside, which was soon confirmed via VAR.

I spotted that Enzo, so often the subject of dismay at best and derision at worst, was enjoying a very fine game, breaking up play, pressing well, passing well.

“Leicester really are shite, Gal.”

Joao Felix lit up the play with a couple of lovely touches but struggled at times to integrate.

Another stray dog, but without the bite, perhaps.

A couple of passes from Palmer allowed in others, but our shooting was off. Just as it looked like the home team would go the entire half without a single effort of note, with Jamie Vardy looking so quiet, a couple of late chances stirred the home team. Kasey McAteer, whoever he is, mis-fired heroically and how we laughed.

Chelsea missed a fine chance after a delayed corner, a strong leap, but a header that flew wide.

Then, a fine break, Jackson to Madueke, but a fine block from the ‘keeper.

Ugh.

At half-time, I spotted of all the variously coloured flags that are oddly draped on support struts at the back of the stands at Leicester. They appear all the way around the circumference of the stadium, par the away end, just under the roof. They reminded me of the multi-coloured pennants that coach drivers in the ‘seventies used to buy and use to adorn the inside of their vehicles.

Llandudno. Penzance. Weymouth. Blackpool. Tenby. Great Yarmouth. Whitby.

It’s a very odd feature. Unique. Not so sure I understand it though, because all of the flags are bunched up, unable to be properly read.

The second-half started and there was, very soon, a quick break down the middle. Joao Felix set up Jackson, but the ‘keeper saved. The follow-up ran to Palmer whose shot struck Madueke on its way to the target, with Noni’s soft-shoe-shuffle unable to stop the ball hitting him. The ball spun out for a goal-kick.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I admired the honest smile, maybe even a grin, that swept over Palmer’s face. It’s just so refreshing to see a lad enjoy his football in the way that he does.

We still dominated the entire game. Over on the far side, the Leicester manager Steve Cooper looked perplexed. It ate away at me, however, that a single chance could so easily be gifted to the home team and our domination could count for nought.

We ploughed on as the dull skies darkened.

On many occasions, the away corner was able to witness the burgeoning relationship between Palmer and Madueke. I remember, with pleasure, a “no look” pass back from Noni to Jackson. An Enzo shot from outside the box fizzed wide.

With fifteen minutes to go, a cross from the energetic and industrious Marc Cucarella – loved at Chelsea now – found the head of Jackson, but Hermansen foiled him. Luckily for us, the ball rebounded nicely for Enzo to nod home.

The Chelsea end exploded again.

Enzo’s slide towards the corner flag was joyous, but it could have been so much better had he done it in front of us and not in front of Kevin and Sally from Hinckley, Paul and Steve from Loughborough, Aggy from Ashby-de-la-Zouch and Nobby from Narborough.

“Safe now, Gal.”

The away support ran through a few familiar songs of faith and devotion.

“We all follow the Chelsea…”

“Palmer again.”

“Until you’ve taken my Chelsea away.”

Some changes on eighty-one minutes.

Christopher Nkunku for Joao Felix.

Romeo Lavia for Caicedo.

It surprised me that Caicedo was taken off, but it was perhaps a sign of how well Enzo, the player, was faring.

More changes.

Jadon Sancho for Madueke.

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall for Jackson.

Just as it was looking a plain-sailing 2-0 win, an easy one, Romeo Lavia was adjudged to have clipped the heel of Bobby De Cordova-Reid as he ventured inside our box. After some confusion, VAR confirmed a penalty and Jordan Ayew steered the spot-kick home.

A late late scare?

Not really.

We held on for the last couple of minutes of the five added minutes.

Lovely stuff.

We were mired in slow-moving traffic as we attempted our getaway. For the first time, I drove right past Welford Road, the home of the famous Leicester Tigers, and it felt odd to be driving past that stadium too. As I edged out, I spotted at a large brick wall that was decorated by a huge sprayed-on image of three foxes grappling with the FA Cup, a reminder of a recent game in the combined histories of our two clubs.

On a slow-moving stretch of the main road out to the ring road, in the space of a few minutes, we spotted Rich from Swindon, stopped by the side of the road and attempting to repair a puncture…we then spotted an Ellison’s coach, windows blackened, that almost certainly contained the Chelsea team en route back to London…and as we were stopped in traffic behind a BMW, we watched as a bloke got out of the rear passenger seats and opened-up the boot to retrieve something…it was none other than Joe Cole.

It made our day.

It was a long old trip home. I battled the inclement weather, Storm Bert et al, and while the others slept, I played some soothing music and prayed that the rain would stop.

I was back in Frome at just after 7pm.

It had been a good day.

Tales From A Hot Ticket

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Chelsea vs. Arsenal : 10 November 2024.

The game at home to Arsenal had the feel of a real test. Here was an eagerly-awaited contest against an old foe, a historic London rival, but also a club that had enjoyed the upper hand over us of late. Since beating them 4-1 in Baku in 2019, our record in the subsequent eleven games was just two wins, just two draws but seven losses.

It was about time we had a little revenge. From a long way out, this absolutely felt like a big game, and a hot ticket.

My friend Aleksey, who had been lucky in acquiring tickets for the matches at Old Trafford and at home to Noah, was still in England for the Arsenal game, but as the weekend approached, we were struggling to find him a spare ticket. I had asked my usual two contacts but it just seemed that there were no spares out there.

Not to worry. He at least would be enjoying one game of football over the weekend.

At just after 11am on the Saturday, Aleksey alighted at Frome station after taking a direct train from London Paddington. There never was a direct train service in days of yore. I wonder what changed.

Alex was in deepest Somerset for the Frome Town game against Winchester City. He was another mate from the US who had been enticed down to my particular part of the West of England for a little dabble in the non-league scene. Hot on the heels of Phil, Courtney and Josh, Alex has adopted Frome Town as his non-league team of choice and was eagerly looking forward to the game at Badgers Hill.

We shot off for a superb breakfast at a local farm shop and we shared a very interesting chat about the game at both level one and level seven of our national sport. But there was also talk of his teenage years, in Moscow, when supporters of his team Spartak and other rival fans were engaged in battles throughout the city on game days. I can only imagine the carnage.

Alex was able to compare his experiences at the previous two Chelsea games. He absolutely loved being among the noisy and partisan Chelsea supporters at Old Trafford. When our equaliser came so soon after their penalty, the scenes startled him. He was punched in the ribs – unintentionally of course – and mentioned that a fellow-fan who was behind him ended up three rows in front; no mean achievement in these days of – painful – seating.

Noah, however, was a different story. Marooned in a sea of dopey tourists in the West Lower, he described it as a “train-wreck”, with people staring starry-eyed at The Shed and The Matthew Harding as the supporters therein took it in turns to sing songs of support, while the area surrounding him was a sea of tranquillity. Long-gone are the days when the West Lower could be relied upon to join in.

A low point for me personally on Thursday night was hearing a sizeable amount of the fans in the MHL carrying out that Arsenal chant about Tottenham.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

Thank you.

I gave Alex a little tour of Frome and the surrounding countryside, including a quick look at a fourteenth century castle in the village of Nunney, a fifteenth century church and a sixteenth century manor house in my home village of Mells, a little chat about the five-hundred-year-old house that I lived in until the age of twelve, and a few similarly historic buildings in Frome itself. The town itself dates from 685. We stopped for a pint at “The Three Swans”, which has stood since the seventeenth century, before joining a table of friends at “The Vine Tree.”

Our opponents were positioned just above us in the league table. They had won promotion via a play-off in 2022, just like we had in May of this year. This was a game that my home town team simply had to win.

As we approached the turnstiles, we heard the sad sound of the last post being played on a bugle in the centre circle. I was annoyed that we had missed the start of this. I promised myself there would be no repeat at Stamford Bridge the following day.

Although a fine crowd of 566 attended the game, unfortunately Frome Town succumbed to a solitary goal from Thomas Wright following a defensive error on the hour. At the final whistle, I slumped down to my haunches, an immediate and unplanned – er – knee-jerk reaction to a bitter defeat.

It felt like I had been kicked in the goolies.

Ugh.

However, Alex really enjoyed the conviviality of my local club, and the intensity and spirit of both players and supporters. I knew he would. There is so much to cherish about the non-league scene. I chuckled when I heard a gaggle of away fans in The Cowshed have a dig at the home support.

“Where’s your cathedral?”

After a drink in the clubhouse, we had an early-evening wander around the cobbled streets of the town centre before settling in at “The Archangel” for one last pint.

Tomorrow would be another day of football.

I collected PD at 8am and soon picked-up Alex at his hotel on the outskirts of Frome before collecting Parky, who was wearing a regimental tie ahead of his later attendance at All Saints Church in Fulham for the two-minute silence at 11am.

The four of us made our way to London, and I drove past the softly undulating countryside of Wiltshire and Berkshire. The roads were quiet. I fuelled up at Membury Services, and at around 10.30am, I got as close to the church and pub as I could; the local roads were jammed full of locals marching to the service.

Now in London, a spare ticket for Alex had still not materialised, and I was starting to give up hope.

I parked up and then walked down to Stamford Bridge to take a few photos and to chat to a couple of early-risers. On the way, I stopped for my second football fry-up of the weekend at the Memory Lane Café.

Forty-years ago to the exact day, Chelsea travelled up to Tyneside for a game at St. James’ Park. Newcastle United had been promoted alongside Chelsea in May and the two games involving the teams were the high spots of that magnificent season. In March of that year, over 36,000 attended the same contest, yet just 23,723 were at the fixture eight months later. I think this was my biggest disappointment of 1984/85; that the attendances didn’t really move up a level. In 1983/84 our home average was 21,120. A year later, in a division higher, it was 23,065. I was hoping for a steeper rise. At St. James’ Park, without the Keegan factor, it was worse. In 1983/84, they averaged a very impressive 29,856, but it dropped to 26,204 the following season.

On the pitch, Newcastle went 2-0 up in the first-half with goals from Neil McDonald and Chris Waddle, and although Kerry Dixon scored a consolation goal, it was another loss for Chelsea. Our record in the league thus far that season was 5 – 4 – 5, not the start that we had hoped for. At least King Kerry was still popping the goals in.

I reached the pub at midday and stayed until 3.30pm.

There was a real gathering of the clans again with the four of us joined by friends from Salisbury, Kent, North London, Buckinghamshire, Texas, Norway, Tennessee and Doncaster. I enjoyed chatting with Ian – Buckinghamshire – for the first real time. One of his previous roles was as the Chelsea Matchday DJ in the early-nineties, which I was not aware of. Drinks were flowing, though not for me of course.

Lo and behold, after weeks of trying to tease a spare ticket from someone, anyone, anybody, the little gang of lads on the next table had a spare for Alex.

Deal!

We were all happy now.

And relax.

We all hopped up onto the northbound platform at Putney Bridge tube and made our way to Stamford Bridge.

I was inside in good time. Again, I tut-tutted at the little gaggle of tourists watching Chelsea go through their pre-match shuttles and stretches behind a roped-off area by the West Stand, a few yards away from the pitch, having paid God knows what for the privilege.

The game’s gone.

It annoyed me that the usual pre-match songs were played just before the “Chelsea Remembers” letters were carried out by members of the armed forces. I had hoped for a period of silence before what should be a solemn time. Soon, images of Chelsea Pensioners appeared at The Shed End on a huge scale. Then some Chelsea Pensioners welcomed both teams onto the Stamford Bridge pitch. The tunics of those residing at the Royal Hospital are the only items of red clothing welcomed with open arms and open hearts at Stamford Bridge.

The Last Post.

Then gentle applause.

In all of these reminiscences of previous years, I cannot remember Chelsea Pensioners involved in those home games nearest to Remembrance Sunday. In fact, nor can I honestly remember last posts, nor two-minutes of silence. Does anybody?

There was, of course, a complete change of personnel since the Noah game on Thursday.

The team, as the old saying goes, picked itself.

Sanchez

Gusto – Fofana – Colwill – Cucarella

Lavia – Caicedo

Madueke – Palmer – Neto

Jackson

There was a bristling atmosphere as the game kicked-off, as it should be with a 4.30pm kick-off, and all of those extra pints being sunk.

I soon found it ironic that Kai Havertz was deployed as a false nine.

After just two minutes, Cole Palmer – on whom a great deal of our collective hope was resting – collected a ball from Romeo Lavia and advanced. He needed no encouragement to let fly. The shot was hit powerfully from thirty yards, but David Raya was equal to it, and tipped it over rather flamboyantly. Palmer, a possible injury doubt after Old Trafford, was back in the game.

Gabriel Martinelli – why do I always think of Marinello? – was getting himself into some early space out wide and Arsenal were posing a few problems. Then, some respite and a lovely sweeping move with Palmer the instigator. He moved the ball out to Pedro Neto, a familiar pass of late, and a deep cross was met by the leap but a misdirected header from Noni Madueke. The crowd groaned.

Some intricate footwork out on the left from Neto – scintillating to see – eventually gave him a few inches of spare space and he sent over a hugely impressive cross towards the far post. If Kerry Dixon, even now at the age of sixty-three, had been able to meet it, we would have taken the lead. Alas, the inch-perfect cross found the head of Malo Gusto who is unfortunately a full back and not a centre forward. The ball flew over.

Poor passing out of defence, that old problem, meant that Arsenal were able to gather the ball and it all resulted in a shot from Martinelli from an angle, but Robert Sanchez was able to fling an arm at the ball and swat it away. From the break just after, Madueke wasted an opportunity.

“Good game, this.”

Just before the half-hour mark, we seemed to collectively lose concentration at an Arsenal free-kick. The ball was pushed through to Havertz, and despite seemingly being knocked off balance, he managed to poke the ball past Sanchez.

Bollocks.

VAR was our saviour, but there were no celebrations nor screaming nor shouting from me.

Phew.

It was bad enough seeing Havertz scoring a couple against us at Arsenal in May. Seeing him celebrating at Stamford Bridge was momentarily worse.

There were pantomime jeers at the corner flag down below me as Declan Rice took a corner or two.

Palmer sadly failed to clear the wall on two separate occasions as the first-half continued. He had drifted out of the game a little.

No goals at half-time, but I think we probably edged it despite the phantom goal from Havertz.

Soon into the second-half, we were treated to a couple of crosses. The first from Madueke out on the right was acrobatically met by Wesley Fofana, arguably enjoying his best game yet, but his volley required the touch of a Dixon boot. The ball was hooked over the bar. A second cross was gathered by Reya.

The quality disappeared from our game for a while.

On the hour, as at Frome the day before, the visitors took the lead. The ball was steadily worked from Havertz on the Arsenal right out to Martinelli, who was one of two Arsenal attackers completely unmarked inside the box on the right. He shot cleanly past Sanchez at the near post.

Crap.

Here we go again.

Chelsea 0 Arsenal 1.

An Arsenal player called Timber, whoever he is, ran unfettered and went close with a long shot.

There were shouts around me.

“Change it!”

I mentioned to Clive that it was so noticeable that our three games against the three leading teams thus far appeared to be pointless, so to speak.

While PD was getting more and more angry with each passing minute, Clive was disappearing into a vortex of despair.

I thought to myself “is it really that bad?”

On sixty-seven minutes, two substitutions.

Enzo Fernandez for Lavia.

Mykhaioo Mudryk for Madueke.

“CAM ON CHOWLSEA.”

There was a switch in positions. Mudryk showed up on our side of Stamford Bridge on the Chelsea left, while Neto became inverted, but hopefully not introverted, in front of the East Lower on our right.

It rapidly paid dividends.

Neto, relatively deep, played the ball to Enzo. Arsenal were nowhere close, poor from them. Enzo prodded the ball into space for Neto to run onto. One touch from Neto, the goal begging for a shot. A swing of the left leg, and a fine connection. The low shot crashed past the despairing dive from Raya at the near post.

Ecstasy in the Matthew Harding. Euphoria in the West Stand. Bedlam in the East Stand. Pandemonium in The Shed.

Poor Neto did not know what to do, nor where to run. He ended up in front of the East Lower with a high jump.

Get in.

Chelsea 1 Arsenal 1.

Phew.

The noise boomed around Stamford Bridge now.

There was an inviting low cross from Bukayo Saka – the first time that I have mentioned his name – out on Arsenal’s right that evaded, thankfully, everybody as it made a lonely journey through a packed box. The cross evoked the phrase “corridor of uncertainty” and I am still amazed that nobody touched the ball goal-wards.

Another cross from the Arsenal right was headed down by Mikel Merino, whoever he is, and Sanchez gathered just before Havertz could get a touch.

Not long after, a clear offside as Nicolas Jackson – the first mention – ran through. A worryingly high percentage of the supporters housed in our end of The Bridge cheered. I fear for the human race.

On eighty-two minutes, Reece James took over from Gusto.

A little head tennis in the box, but Arsenal survived.

A very late substitution.

Christopher Nkunku for Jackson.

A cross from the Arsenal right, a shot from Merino, a great save from Sanchez, but the ball fell to Leandro Trossard. In my mind I was waiting for the net to bulge. He blazed it over. Offside anyway.

Fackinell.

In the ninety-fifth minute, a similar second-half story. A low cross from out on the Arsenal flank, this time the left, and a great cross right into “the corridor” but not a worthwhile touch, and offside anyway.

As you were.

Although, in fact, not as you were.

Since last season Arsenal have worsened while we have improved, no doubt.

When I got back to the car, I was flabbergasted to see that we had reached third place in the Premier League.

There is a cartoon that often does the rounds on the internet of an elephant up a tree, but of course that image never entered my mind at all.

Never.

Honest.

We have a break, now, until we all meet up again at Leicester City on Saturday 23 November.

See you there.

Tales From An Ark Lark

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Chelsea vs. Noah : 7 November 2024.

Our third match in this season’s UEFA Europa Conference would be a home game against Armenian side Noah. Ever since the draw took place a couple of months ago, I had been flinching at all of the puny puns emanating from everyone concerning the team’s name, but I also knew that it would be remarkable should I not join in at some stage.

I stumbled across a reference that my good friend Alan might appreciate. The day before the game, late on, I messaged him about the imminent game.

“It’s All But An Ark Lark.”

He replied with an emoji of a wide grin.

“It’s All But An Ark Lark” is a Cocteau Twins song from their “Lullabies” EP from October 1982.

You all knew that, right?

On the day of the match, the Thursday, I worked an early shift, finishing at 2pm, and my thoughts centred on Noah being, quite possibly, the worst team that the full Chelsea side might ever play. The 21-0 aggregate score line against Jeunesse Hautcharage in the ECWC in 1971 drifted into my mind a few times too. The scores were 8-0 away and then 13-0 at home and I wondered about comparisons. One of that Luxembourg team wore glasses apparently although there is no truth in the urban myth that one of his team mates only had one arm.

Just as I left the office, I could not resist. I turned to my work colleague Stu and said that Noah’s formation later in the day would be 2-2-2-2-2 and I heard a hollow laugh inside me.

Fackinell.

I collected PD and Parky and we were away.

A couple of days before the game, however, there had been a double strike of sad news.

On the Tuesday, we all heard that Doreen Bruce had passed away. I first met Doreen, a proud wee Scot, out in Kiev in 2019, and our paths crossed on many occasions over the recent past. Doreen was big friends with Aroha and Luke, and they were always seen together. I remember spending some time with Doreen in that square in Porto ahead of the CL Final in 2021. She loved Chelsea and she loved Scotland just as much. I always enjoyed seeing her patriotic posts from Hampden Park and elsewhere. She was a real character, full of bubby energy, and will certainly be missed.

RIP Doreen.

On the Wednesday, we learned that John Dempsey passed away at the age of seventy-eight. He was an old stalwart from our early ‘seventies golden era, was one of Chopper’s “assassins” and was a respected defender. I saw John play in three of the first five Chelsea games that I ever attended, in 1974 and 1975. I remember him winding up some Arsenal fans at half-time in a game at Stamford Bridge a few years back. I also remember him playing alongside Peter Osgood at Philadelphia Fury in the late ‘seventies. I believe he worked for many years with underprivileged children.

RIP John.

The drive up to London was uneventful. While I waited for a pizza at “Koka” on the North End Road, I smiled when I heard “Kiss Of Life” by Sade being played. From Rio de Janeiro in July, to West Ham away in September, to the North End Road in November, this singer is haunting me this season.

I trotted down to “Simmons” and met up with PD, Parky, Salisbury Steve, Luke, Alex from Houston – again – and also my mate Leggo from Bedford, but also from The Benches in 1984.

Ah, 1984.

Just a very quick mention of our next game in that 1984/85 season. On Tuesday 6 November 1984, Chelsea beat Walsall 3-0 in a League Cup Third Round Replay in front of a pretty reasonable 19,502. Keith Jones followed up his brace against Cov with one goal, while David Speedie and Kerry Dixon scored too.

We were joined by some friends from the US; Jesus, Austin, Tim, Hooman, Detroit Bob.

Everyone together. Everyone tacking the Mick. Tons of laughs.

Football, eh?

I loved to hear that Doreen had bequeathed her season ticket to Luke’s little three-year-old son Archie – as featured last season – and Luke had spent a large part of the Wednesday sorting that out. I also loved the fact that Archie has a ticket for the trip to Heidenheim in a few weeks.

We saw the team that Enzo Maresca had chosen. It looked remarkably attack-minded.

Jorgensen

Disasi – Tosin – Badiashile – Veiga

Enzo

George – Nkunku – Joao Felix – Mudryk

Guiu

Although I was inside with a fair few minutes to go before kick-off, it seemed that we had missed a minute of applause in memory of John Dempsey. The teams appeared as the pre-game rituals began in earnest. I could not help but think that the Europa Conference anthem sounded like something that Baltimora may have recorded in around 1985.

The teams stood in silence in memory of those who had perished in the floods in Valencia.

I was pretty impressed with the Armenians’ support; maybe a thousand or so. There were a few multi-coloured Armenian flags dotted around.

The over-eager PA announcer was shouting at his mic for us to “make some noise.”

Oh do shut up, you twat.

The game began with Chelsea attacking The Shed.

However, it was the unfancied visitors who dominated the very early moments of the game. A rapid counter-attack resulted in an effort on goal that Filip Jorgensen did well to save. They followed this up with a couple of corners.

Alongside me, Alan was getting confused.

“This lot only took about fifty to The New Saints.”

“Nah, that was Astana.”

This new-fangled format is succeeding in confusing all of us. I said to Alan that we seem to be remotely connected to teams that our opponents play, but we don’t. On the same night, Heidenheim were at Hearts, yet we won’t play Hearts, nor TNS for that matter.

It’s like some bizarre inter-related family tree, with off-shoots appearing in the unlikeliest of places.

“A Family Tree Of Bastards.”

The visitors threatened again. They definitely had the best of the early attacks.

But Chelsea soon responded, with Joao Felix getting a sniff from Tyrique George on the right.

As is a superstition at European home games, Alan shared out some wine gums.

“Want some Pearly-Dewdrops’ Drops, mate?”

As the game developed, we grew stronger.

On twelve minutes, Enzo sent over a firm corner from Parkyville and Tosin was able to steer the ball in with a well-timed header. I was lucky enough to get that one on film.

While we were up and celebrating, the game restarted. I was looking at Alan, expecting him to soon launch our “THTCAUN / COMLD” routine.

I had to prompt him.

“What’s that, Al?”

But in no time at all, I looked up to see that Guiu had intercepted a terrible square pass from one Noah defender to another and he had calmly slotted the ball home to make it 2-0.

Fackinell.

Those goals had to be the quickest back-to-back goals in our history surely?

Five minutes later, Enzo again swung in a corner and it was Disasi who smashed it over the line in a virtual carbon copy of our first goal. This was getting silly.

Three minutes later, on just twenty-one minutes, Guiu robbed the ball off a visitor and the ball fell to Enzo, who picked out Joao Felix. He advanced and clipped the ball over the hapless ‘keeper Ognjen Chancharevich.

Blimey.

By now, Alan and I were relaxing and just enjoying the night, with plenty of humorous anecdotes keeping us happy. What a nice time.

Just after the half-hour mark, Mykhailo Mudryk took a pot-shot that was so high and wide of the target that it came down to Earth near the West Stand corner flag, and still stayed on the pitch.

His next effort was much more pleasing. He picked up the ball outside the penalty area, touched the ball forward to set himself, and then unleashed a perfect curler into the top right-hand corner of the goal. I took a photo just as it flew off his boot. What a cracker.

By now, a few folk around me were referencing the 13-0 win over Hautcharage in 1971.

Two minutes later, a counter-attack and the ball was fed to Joao Felix, who picked his way through and slotted home off the leg of a covering white-shirted defender.

I pointed at Lee a few seats away.

“It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen.”

We were 6-0 up at half-time, with the away team hopefully weakening in the second-half, when would the goals stop?

In both Hautcharage games in 1971, we were 6-0 up at half-time too.

At half-time, what was everyone thinking?

10-0?

13-0?

14-0?

I said to a few friends that it was a shame that we weren’t playing them over two legs. That 21-0 aggregate score would be in trouble. I am sure it is still the highest aggregate score in UEFA history.

As the second-half began, some substitutions.

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall for Guiu.

Cesare Casadei for Enzo.

What did that mean? I wasn’t sure.

The pace slackened in the second-half, but we still dominated the chances. Benoit Badiashile soon volleyed over a cross. The Noah ‘keeper Chancharevich twice foiled Felix, who – along with Mudryk – were the two players that took my eye.

Christopher Nkunku slammed a shot at goal but it clipped the top of the crossbar.

Carney Chukwuemeka for George.

On the sixty-ninth minute, fancy footwork from Felix released Nkunku. His first shot was blocked by the unlucky ‘keeper but the ball came back out for Nkunku to poke home at an angle between defender and post. The blue balloon stayed in his sock. It was no time to take the Mick.

On seventy-six minutes, a rather soft penalty was awarded after Dewsbury-Hall was fouled inside the six-yard box. Nkunku drilled it home.

Chelsea 8 Noah 0.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

I wondered if we were already promoted from this league.

A rare Noah corner elicited some high-pitched shrieks and much flag-waving from the Armenians in the far corner.

On seventy-nine minutes, debutant Samuel Rak-Sakyi replaced Nkunku.

A few late chances were spurned and so the elusive double figures were not reached. They stay as an elusive target. Were Noah the worst team that I had ever seen us play? Yes, I think so, and I have seen us play Tottenham a few times too, mind.

What a fun night though. I loved it.

It had, indeed, been an Ark Lark.

Dedicated to the memory of John Dempsey who scored against Real Madrid in Athens in 1971 and to the memory of Doreen Bruce who was with us against Manchester City in Porto in 2021, fifty years later.

Donna, Rachel, Charlotte, Doreen, Aroha.

Tales From Stretford

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4

Manchester United vs. Chelsea : 3 November 2024.

“It’s time the tale were told.”

This was another footballing double-header of a weekend, involving two away days, five-hundred and twenty miles in the hot-seat and almost fifteen hours of driving.

On Saturday, Sholing vs. Frome Town in the Southern Premier League South.

On Sunday, Manchester United vs. Chelsea in the FA Premier League.

Before all of this, in the office on Monday, there was a shriek of dismay from yours truly on hearing that Erik ten Hag had just been sacked by Manchester United. The four – four! – United fans in the office were a lot happier. How we all wanted the Dutch manager to still be in charge for our game on the Sunday. Alas, it was not to be.

I had a grand day out down on the south coast at Sholing. Despite going down to ten men when Matt Wood was sent-off, the Frome Town team played so well, with new signing Archie Ferris adding some physicality to the attack and loan-returnee Rex Mannings playing his best game since his move from Chippenham Town. The home team missed a penalty in the second-half, and then in the last ten minutes, substitute Curtis Hutson crashed a dipping shot from well outside the box to send the thirty away fans delirious. Alas, in the ninety-fifth minute, the home team poked home an equaliser. Frome are still mired in a relegation dogfight but the month of November contains matches against teams that we might well be able to get some wins against.

My match-going pal at Chelsea, Alan, had a football-double-header too, and one which needs a mention. Very early on Saturday morning, Alan left his house in order to catch the Bromley supporters coach up to Rochdale to the north of Manchester. The two teams played an enthralling FA Cup tie. Bromley went 2-0 up early on, but were losing 3-2 as injury-time began. Two goals in the ninety-first and ninety-second minutes gave Al’s team a wonderful 4-3 victory. While I was driving home to Frome, Al was heading back to London.

And on the Sunday, both of us would be heading north to Manchester.

This would be my twenty-ninth United vs. Chelsea match at Old Trafford. It is my most visited away venue. Alas, my record in these games is as similarly shocking as on my trips to Anfield.

Won – 5

Drew – 9

Lost – 14

The reading is more depressing when you consider that on my first two trips to Old Trafford in 1986, we won both times. This means that over the last twenty-six personal visits to Old Trafford, Chelsea recorded just three wins.

Gulp.

Alan and myself would be with each other on the Sunday in the away enclosure at Old Trafford, and we were sitting alongside each other at Stamford Bridge forty years ago to the exact day too.

On Saturday 3 November 1984, I travelled down by train from Stoke for the home game with Coventry City, back in the days when the Sky Blues were an absolute fixture in the top flight. They played football at the highest level from 1967/68 to 2001/02 without a break.

On that day, I took a 0920 train down to Euston, arriving at 1130, and noted lots of casuals milling about. In those days, Euston was a battle ground for various firms – all without colours – and it could be a dicey moment walking over the concourse and down into the underground. Nobody wore team kits in those days, but many went for the small metal badges which were all the rage. You wore these as the only outward sign of which club you were with.

These were magnificent times for this burgeoning yet undercover football sub-culture.

It was simple but smart; an expensive pullover – it was changing that autumn from pastels to muted colours – and a polo shirt. Mid-blue jeans – a change from the light blue ones of the summer – and then Adidas, Diadora or Nike trainers. This was “the look” in the autumn of 1984.

I took my camera to the game for the first time since the West Ham game in September and took a pre-match photo of my mates Leggo, Stamford and Alan on the Benches, not too far from where I saw my first game ten years earlier.

When I aired this photo on a Chelsea Eighties page on “Facebook” a while ago, the lad who is looking at the camera beyond my three mates got in touch. He was surprised to see his face. He got in touch and the rest is history. Incidentally, the lad to the left holding the match programme is Leggo, or Glenn, and he has recently retired. I will be meeting him before the Noah game on Thursday.

Chelsea began well, but the visitors were 2-0 after half-an-hour. They had an unlikely trio upfront of Bob Latchford, Cyrille Regis and Peter Barnes, all of whom had starred at other clubs. However, Chelsea soon hit back, scoring via a Kerry Dixon far-post header. Just before half-time, a Pat Nevin cross, a Dixon header, and Keith Jones touched in the equaliser.

We had to wait twenty-five minutes into the second-half for a further breakthrough; a goal from David Speedie. Then Kerry made it 4-2. At this stage, many left to queue up at the ticket office for Tottenham away tickets. I remained on the deserted Benches to see Kerry break through to make it 5-2 and then Keith Jones stabbed a loose ball in to make it 6-2.

It had been a great game, with Pat Nevin in imperious form. The win was much-needed after a dip in our form. The gate was 17,306, a bit better than my 16,000 prediction before the game. My diary tells me that I counted just one hundred away fans.

On the previous Wednesday, Chelsea had drawn 2-2 at Fellows Park against Walsall in the League Cup. Although it was just down the road from Stoke, I didn’t attend. I wasn’t yet ready for my first-ever midweek game. There were goals from Colin Lee and Pat Nevin in front of 11,102, and there was a fair bit of trouble, as we called it in those days, I seem to remember.

Forty years later, I had collected Glenn at 10am, and Parky at 10.30am on the way to Manchester. PD was missing this away day; instead he was in Cyprus at his son Scott’s wedding. We stopped for drinks at Strensham, but as I neared Birmingham, I was warned of heavy traffic ahead and so took a detour through the Black Country. I re-joined the M6 just north of where the current day Walsall play at the Bescot Stadium. The pre-match plan was to stop at the Tabley Interchange for a Sunday Roast, but with people to meet from 3pm, time was running away from us. Glenn shared out some Somerset Pasties and we had these on the hoof.

Spinning around the M60, I could not resist singing a few lines from a couple of Smiths songs, just before we hit the traffic that was backed up at the exit for Stretford.

Old Trafford is a conundrum. It’s in Stretford, which is part of the metropolitan borough of Trafford in Greater Manchester, but it isn’t in Manchester, the actual city.

Confused?

Talk to Carlos Tevez.

After five-and-a half hours, I eventually arrived and I was parked up at just after 3.15pm. We walked through the familiar Gorse Hill Park and out onto the Chester Road, the heady smell of autumn leaves underfoot.

This is indeed a well-trodden journey.

Soon we were close.

The acrid punch of vinegar on chips at the take-aways near the crossroads leading to Sir Matt Busby Way. The fanzine sellers. The half-and-half scarves. The grafters. The match day colours. It was all so bloody familiar.

I met up with Aleksey, originally from Moscow, now from Houston, and in the UK on a work trip to Aberdeen and other locales. He will be adding to the game at Old Trafford with a game on Thursday at Chelsea, a game at Frome on Saturday, and – maybe – a game at Chelsea on Sunday. He’s a keen follower of this blog – “thanks mate” – and it was good to see him again.

With me leaving at 10am, it was a ploy to have a lie-in, to have a little rest before the drive north, and the timings had been pretty decent. On the way in, I had admitted to Glenn and Parky that “it’s nice to be able to take our time strolling up to Old Trafford. Not rushing. Well, not Aleksey. He’s from Moscow.”

Next up, I had to hand over some tickets to Deano, who had not yet arrived. This gave me a twenty-minute window of opportunity to do a complete circuit of Old Trafford, probably for the first-ever time.

I took a shot of the Holy Trinity statue of Charlton, Best and Law as it faced the Matt Busby statue under the megastore and the East Stand, which used to house the away paddock in days gone by.

Next, a photo of the Alex Ferguson statue under the huge stand that bears his name. This used to be the United Road stand, the one that was so modern when it appeared in the mid-sixties, the one featured in the Albert Finney film “Charlie Bubbles”, and featuring a game against Chelsea in 1967. The original United Road is long-gone now. I once drove along it around twenty years ago. The transformation on this side of the ground has been phenomenal. It seems like a different place now, a modern monolith to the United brand.

Then, I aimed myself towards the Stretford End. My recollections of this stand from the two FA Cup semis in 2006 and 2007 are scant, but it’s a really horrible structure, faced by a vast car park, not unlike the feel of a San Siro, but without the architectural merit. Great blocks of black, grey and red, as if designed by a Lego enthusiast. There even appear to be huge handles on the stand, maybe to lift the end up and deposit it elsewhere in the vicinity if a threatened new stadium ever gets built. Then, a puzzle for me. I didn’t know that there was a statue outside the Stretty, as the home fans call it, and I didn’t recognise the figure depicted on a plinth. I got closer. It was Jimmy Murphy, a name I remember from the immediate aftermath of the horrors of 1958.

I wondered if any of the four United fans in the office were aware of this statue.

I was annoyed that it caught me unawares.

Then, the last leg, through the oddly-named Munich Tunnel, underneath the oldest stand from the original 1910 structure. There were chants of “Chelsea Rent Boys”, how boring.

I caught up with Deano at around 4pm, just after a United fan had aimed another “Rent Boy” chant our way and just after said United fan was marched away from the ground by two stewards.

United fans jostled past us, occasionally shouting derogatory words.

I thought to myself how so many United fans look like Syd Little.

I queued up underneath the Munich Clock, and was inside at around 4.15pm after a slow and rigorous security check. SLRs are banned at OT, as are all cameras, but I won that battle.

I soon met up with Alan, looking remarkably chipper after his three out of four weekend coach trips from hell. Alan was stood next to Gary. John was further along, next to me. To my left were Little Andy and Big Colin. Glenn was a few yards away in the row behind me. Parky was ten rows behind me.

I took a phot of Alan – with Glenn – to go with the photo of him forty years earlier. Back in 1984, it was either a Burberry scarf or an Aquascutum scarf on the terraces of England. I always favoured the latter. I bought one in 1985 and it lasted five years until it was stolen in Italy. I bought another one ten years ago. Alan sported his Aquasutum scarf, a nod to the fact that, in the long game, Aquascutum has remained at the top of the pile, whereas Burberry never really recovered from its nadir in the post Brit-Pop era.

The sky was grey and it marched the cold grey steel of the roof supports above us all.

Old Trafford, what have you got in store for me this time?

With ten minutes to go “This Is The One” by the Stone Roses gave way to “Take Me Home” by John Denver.

Not an easy segue, that one.

Oh well, maybe a lot of match-going Mancunians think they have the gait and swagger and street cool of Ian Brown, whereas in reality so many of United’s match-day support resemble John Denver, and Syd Little.

“Take me home, United Road, to the place I belong. To Old Trafford. To see United. Take me home, United Road.”

The teams appeared.

We were as expected, the line-up the same as against Newcastle a week earlier.

Sanchez, Gusto, James, Chilwell, Fofana, Lavia, Caicedo, Madueke, Palmer, Neto, Jackson.

The noise was getting ramped up.

“Take me home, United Road.”

The game began, and as per usual we attacked the Stretford End in the first-half. I had to laugh when after just four minutes, Cole Palmer – the hometown anti-hero – attempted a very similar pass to Pedro Neto that had us all so enthralled last week, but a covering defender stuck out a leg to rob us of a repeat.

I thought we began well, and we had more of the ball than United. Palmer was involved early, but there was a poor cross from him. Just after Moises Caicedo robbed the ball in midfield and played in Palmer, who had a free run on goal, but dithered a little, and Matthijs de Ligt was able to block.

On fourteen minutes, Noni Madueke rose to meet Palmer’s corner at the near post, and his header crashed against the bar – though, in reality, it was difficult to tell in the Stretford gloom – and Levi Colwill slashed at the rebound but it hit the side-netting.

The natives were quiet, and the three-thousand away fans had a dig.

There was an error from Andre Onana at the other end but we blazed over. Then, Robert Sanchez came dramatically at a cross, punching the ball away in a “Superman Pose.” Half-chances came and went. Marcus Rashford over-dribbled into the penalty box. After a swift move from United, Sanchez saved well, but there was a suspicion of offside anyway.

Nicolas Jackson, quiet thus far, was in on goal but there was a heavy touch. Palmer was next up, but after carrying the ball for an age, he too was reluctant to shoot. Eventually his effort was blocked.

But we were in this. Being in it at Old Trafford is half the battle.

I loved the way Caicedo and Romeo Lavia were playing. Caicedo breaking things up, showing dogged tenacity, nicking balls, moving up. Lavia eating up space, rangy, a presence, quick.

There was another surreal touch from Palmer on the half-way line, another pass to himself, the audacity of the kid. He was then wiped out by a reckless challenge by Manuel Ugarte, whoever he is.

Pedro Neto, good in parts, was then taken out with a horrible tackle from Diogo Dalot.

Just before half-time, Bruno Fernandes smacked over a deep cross to the back stick from the left wing, only for Rashford to volley against the bar, and over. Most worrying of all, Reece James had not tracked him. The experiment with the captain at left-back had generally left us scratching our noggins.

During the half, my little self-contained unit of Andy to my left and John to my right had talked through our play and, despite a massive reluctance to strike on goal, were relatively happy with our play. With United under a new manager – albeit the interim Ruud van Nistelrooy – we were worried about conceding early and getting the home support roaring.

That never happened.

Yet elsewhere, others evidently thought we had been poor. It’s odd how this sometimes happens at games. At games, you are caught up in the moment, in the actuality of everything, and I think that the first feeling is the need for survival at big venues like United or Liverpool or City. I think that I sometimes get too positive, too early, and then stick with that mindset. At Old Trafford, at half-time, I was content. John was happy, I was happy. Clearly others weren’t.

At the break, Enzo Maresca replaced Malo Gusto with Marc Cucarella. Reece James stayed in the same small strip of Greater Manchester but on the right and not the left.

The inverted full-back nerds were probably having a field day in TV land.

Ten minutes in, a ball was hoofed high into the air, and the entire stadium, not least the players, had the same thought; that ball was going off for a throw-in. The ball came down, from high, and the ball was given to Palmer, who spread the ball out to the left to Neto. He pushed on before smacking a low shot just past Onana’s far post.

The Chelsea support groaned.

But the volume was definitely turned up a notch.

“CAM ON CHOWLSEA. CAM ON CHOWLSEA.”

On sixty-four minutes, we heard the Stretford End – together, loud – for the very first time. There had been a few “Viva John Terrys” and a few “Three In A Row” chants from the chorus to our right, but the Stretford End had been so quiet. Now they spoke.

“U – N – I – T – E – D, United are the team for me.”

At last.

With that, Alejandro Garnacho shot straight at Sanchez, right in front of them.

On seventy minutes, John and I had a little chat.

Chris : “Think it’ll be 0-0.”

John : “Yeah. Or we’ll let them in.”

At that exact moment, Casemiro dropped a long ball at the feet of Rasmus Hojlund. He took a touch to his right, Sanchez dived at him, it looked a penalty all day long.”

The referee, who had let so much go, often in our favour, pointed at the spot.

The horrible twat Fernandes easily slotted home.

There were two quick substitutions, too quick for me to immediately notice.

Mykhailo Mudryk for the disappointing Madueke.

Enzo Fernandez for the tiring Lavia.

I took a photo of Palmer waiting to take a corner on seventy-four minutes. I had a little idea I shared with John.

“Instead of everyone breaking and the ball going down the ‘keepers throat, why not let the players break towards goal but then pump it into the gap for Caicedo to head in?”

The ball came across. An unknown United defender headed it out. The ball fell towards Caicedo. He didn’t waste any time. He volleyed. The ball thankfully stayed low. The ball crept in at the far post.

Perfect.

Our end exploded.

Rarely have so many made so many ridiculous limb movements. I punched the air. I roared. I punched big Col in the stomach a few times.

Unable to snap the players celebrating on the far side, I turned the camera on us.

Faces of unfettered joy.

Get in.

The noise was all Chelsea now.

Next, a ball out to Garnacho, at an angle, who couldn’t get the right strike on the ball, and it flashed over the bar. It reminded me so much of a late Ole Gunnar Solskjaer equaliser from almost the same position, the same angle of strike, in the autumn of 1997.

A few moments later, Enzo skied a shot over the bar after being set up by Jackson, who surprisingly -I think – stayed on for the whole game.

A reckless challenge by Lisandro Martinez – nice Butthead haircut, mate – on Palmer towards the end of the game raised our temperatures, and we could hardly believe that a red was not issued.

In the closing moments, Fernandes fired ridiculously high into the Stretford End.

The 1-1 draw was a fair result. The consensus as we headed up the slope of the forecourt was that this was a poor United team – probably the poorest that I have seen in decades – and with a little more attacking verve we could have nicked it. I loved Moises Caicedo, now emerging as a real crowd favourite, who was my man of the match even before the goal. A mention for the tireless running of Pedro Neto. And a mention of a typically energetic and spirited performance by Marc Cucarella in the second-half.

Cucarella is the yin to Palmer’s yang.

These two approach the game with different temperaments and energy, but they are all part of this emerging Chelsea team.

Is it good enough?

I don’t know, and we certainly won’t be able to make any decision on Thursday when the B-List take on Noah.

I wolfed down the best football burger ever, a bacon-cheeseburger with onions, pure Mancunian heaven, and we reached the car at 7pm. The traffic was worse than usual as we exited out. I didn’t reach the M6 until 7.40pm. Not to worry, I made steady progress and via a couple of stops, I was home at just before midnight.

See you on Thursday.

OUTSIDE

INSIDE

GET IN YOU BASTARD

FORTY YEARS AGO

3 NOVEMBER 1984

3 NOVEMBER 2024