Tales From A Doubler

Posted on April 19, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. Manchester United : 18 April 2026.

Here was another fortuitous moment. With Chelsea’s home match with Manchester United kicking off at 8pm, it meant that I could squeeze in Frome Town’s match at local rivals Melksham Town at 3pm. When I first thought about this as an option, I was slightly wary of having to explain to PD and Parky that they would have to get up to London under their own steam, via train – though not steam train – since nothing gets in the way of them and a pre-match bevy. Thankfully, they half-expected this and had already discussed going up from Frome to Paddington between themselves.

A Melksham Town vs. Frome Town derby is a very local affair; the two football clubs are just sixteen miles apart.

Before the game began, I met up with my usual match-going mates and chatted to others that had travelled over the county border from Somerset to Wiltshire. There were also two work colleagues – my place of work is just half-a-mile away – who I had a quick chat with. They were both supporting the home team. This was a bigger match for them than for Frome. If we beat them, and fellow strugglers Willand Rovers won, Melksham Town would be relegated.

One of the Frome lads shouted over to me.

“Doubler?”

I nodded.

The Oakfield Stadium at Melksham is new – it opened up in 2017 – but I am not a fan. Despite a big block that houses bar facilities, and a measly number of seats, it has the appearance of an open prison. This block backs on to a rugby pitch; it therefore serves both rugby and football. Elsewhere, there are covered stands on only two of the remaining three sides. It’s an anaemic ground with little character. They have enjoyed large attendances since the club relocated, though, and sit second behind Frome in the attendance table of our division.

The Frome faithful took position under the small stand roof at the western edge of the stadium as the game began and soon began taunting the home support about relegation.

However, the home team took hold of the game and scored via Levi Irving after just six minutes. Frome toiled but found it difficult to penetrate a resolute Melksham back-line that included former Frome players Mark Cooper and Alex Hallett. Frome chances were rare. I changed location for the second half and squeezed into the back row of the main stand. Again, more toil from Frome, but few clear-cut chances. With twenty minutes remaining, Joel Smedley turned in a second goal for the home team and that was that. Just after, Frome captain Sam Teale was dismissed for a reckless challenge. With approaching five minutes to go, I said my goodbyes and headed off to London. This was Frome’s third loss in forty-one league games this season, and the first loss that I had witnessed in the competition in person.

I left Melksham Town’s car park at 4.45pm. The route to London took me up the A4, the old Roman road, and I joined the M4 at Hungerford at 5.30pm. The traffic was light, the weather was perfect, and I was parked on a small driveway on Brecon Road bang on 7pm, when my “JustPark” booking started.

I hot-footed it to Stamford Bridge – there was no signs of the protest against BlueCo – and just outside the stadium on the Fulham Road I heard that Brighton had tied it 2-2 with a ninety-sixth minute equaliser at Tottenham.

Beautiful.

I was inside The Sleepy Hollow just after 7.30pm.

There were chats with the chaps – I like the photo of Clive, PD, Daryl, Gary and Ed – and I then settled into my seat in preparation for the day’s main event. This would be my forty-sixth Chelsea match against Manchester United at Stamford Bridge, second only to fifty-one against Liverpool.

Before the pre-match noise and nonsense, former director Colin Hutchinson was remembered. He recently passed away aged eighty-six. He was a key board member under Ken Bates, navigating many pitfalls to acquire top players and help steer the club forward. He was a key figure in the history of our club.

RIP Colin Hutchinson

With injured players unavailable, Liam Rosenior chose this team.

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto – Wesley Fofana – Jorrel Hato – Marc Cucurella

Moises Caicedo – Enzo Fernandez

Estevao Willian – Cole Palmer – Pedro Neto

Liam Delap

Over in the far corner were the United fans, and with flags from Failsworth, Rossendale and St. Helens. I sometimes wonder if flags from further south are banished for United away games. It’s noticeable that all the permanent banners on display at Old Trafford honour players, managers and games. At Manchester City, Chelsea and Arsenal – among others – banners featuring supporters from all over the world are festooned everywhere. It’s almost as if United are trying to downplay their global reach whereas others are looking to celebrate it.

I scanned the United players and turned to Clive :

“That little scrote Mount isn’t playing, is he?”

He wasn’t.

At 8pm the game kicked off.

I found myself praising Delap as he chased a lost cause in front of The Shed and forced a corner, but it came to nothing. I spotted Enzo playing very deep, starting moves behind Caicedo.

Very soon into the game, everything was taking shape and it wasn’t pleasant. The movement of the ball and the movement off the ball was painfully slow, and Clive and I were bemoaning the robotic nature of everything. Players were hustling each other to get into positions so their AI orchestrated moves could begin.

“No bastard spoke about ‘patterns of play’ in the ‘nineties, Clive.”

There was a penalty shout that was dismissed, and then on eleven minutes, Estevao cut inside onto his left foot and struck a shot at goal. It breezed just past the far post and may have touched the post.

Just after, there was a fortuitous breakaway, but Estevao could only meekly shoot at the United ‘keeper Senne Lammens, whoever he is.

Unfortunately, the young winger took a knock and was replaced by Alejandro Garnacho, and the United fans were stirred into a frenzy.

The game then diminished in quality.

By the half hour, it was dull as hell.

Cole Palmer was fouled just outside the box. He took the free-kick, but it was wasted.

On thirty-two minutes, Garnacho played the ball in to Enzo in the United box, who shimmied past a defender and then did well to win the ball back. He steadied himself and we watched as the ball just missed the goal frame, missing the far post by a whisper.

On thirty-seven minutes, there was a frenzied attack and a save from Lammens from Enzo. Palmer won the loose ball, played in Delap, who fired home.

Alas, we saw the flag was raised. Offside.

Throughout all this, United had offered little. With a minute to half-time, a break down our left found Bruno Fernandes and was given too much space by both Garnacho and a recovering Cucurella. His pull back was slammed in by Matheus Cunha. At the time, we were down to ten men; Wesley Fofana was receiving treatment after clashing with Sanchez when he came to superbly punch away a free kick.

There were strong words from everyone at half-time. Despite occasional half-chances from us, and very little in the way of a threat from United, we were far from happy. Our play was dull and slow. It was so tedious to watch.

What would happen in the second half? Considering we never seem to play the same for an entire game, at least there was hope.

First, there was an attack from the visitors, and a shot from distance from Fernandes that drifted wide. The United fans, typically, had been singing all evening and the buggers were still singing about John Terry, eighteen years after that miserable wet night in Moscow.

I was pleased that we soon managed to get behind the team with a rousing “Amazing Grace” which came out of nowhere and surprised me.

On fifty-one minutes, an effort from Caicedo was deflected wide for a corner. Enzo came over to take it, down below me. For all of his foibles, he remains a favourite of mine and the crowd. We urged him to send over a decent delivery.

No, the ball didn’t clear the first man. In fact, the defender chested it away. Shocking corner. Must do better.

Sadly, not long after, the same player, the same near post, the same terrible corner, this one headed away.

A clipped cross from Pedro Neto found the leap of Delap, but his glanced header hit the crossbar. We squealed in agony. A

We had reached the hour mark, and for short bursts the noise created inside Stamford Bridge was excellent.

Well, to be precise, not 1986 excellent, not 1996 excellent, not 2006 excellent, not 2016 excellent, but for 2026 it was good as we can expect.

A snapshot from Palmer from a Malo Gusto cross was guided wide, and I felt that eventually one of these chances would go in.

On sixty-four minutes, though, a United break, and a shot from Fernandes looped up after hitting Fofana. However, Sanchez scrambled across to steer the ball around the post; a fine save.

At our end, a fine bit of wing play, eventually, from Neto who placed a fine cross towards the six-yard box. The resulting Fofana header was deflected onto the crossbar.

Ugh.

However, the noise boomed again around Stamford Bridge.

On seventy-five minutes, Gusto did well, after a long chase, to drag the ball back and a succession of acrobatic kicks followed, but the United goal lived a charmed life.

A strong Bryan Mbeumo run was halted by a strong, and splendid, tackle by Jorrel Hato, who had played well all game, and was my man of the match.

Throughout this second-half we had played better, no doubt. But it was still difficult to watch Garnacho who, apart from one rare moment when he sauntered past two markers, always chose to run, shuffle, stop and pass back to a teammate. It was also odd to see the other winger, Neto, advance, cut back onto his left peg, then pass to Gusto, our right-back, to swing over a cross.

Inverted wingers, my arse.

On eighty-one minutes, Rosenior made some changes.

Trevoh Chalobah for Fofana.

Josh Acheampong for Gusto.

Defensive changes. When we need a goal. Fackinell.

Mason Mount, the little twerp, appeared and strutted around.

Just after, a low blooter from Caicedo, and this went narrowly wide of the far post.

One last change.

A voice behind me.

“Guiu surely.”

Romeo Lavia for Enzo.

Needless to say, United held on for the three points. Back at the car, we agreed that despite our issues with our manager, some of our players and most of our tactics, we deserved a point.

Alas, my doubler had returned no points, and I didn’t get home until 1.45am.

It was one of those days.

On Tuesday, a trip to Sussex by the Sea awaits.

See you there.

GAME 1 : MELKSHAM TOWN VS. FROME TOWN

GAME 2 : CHELSEA VS. MANCHESTER UNITED

Tales From A Day Of Priorities

Posted on April 18, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. Manchester City : 12 April 2026.

Let’s start by time-travelling back to last weekend. The Easter Weekend meant four days away from work, and three games of football for me. As far as enthusiasm goes, it is fair to say that that Chelsea’s FA Cup tie with Port Vale was the lesser of the three. On the Good Friday, Frome Town played at Sporting Club Inkberrow with a slight chance of becoming Champions of the Southern League South. The Port Vale game was on the Saturday. And then Frome played host to local rivals Shaftesbury on Bank Holiday Monday. This is not demeaning the importance of the FA Cup – more of that later – but an indication of how excited I was to see my local team so close to becoming Champions.

After last season’s demoralising relegation from the Southern League Premier South, Frome has utterly surpassed expectations and has dominated the division from early on. Going into the home game with Shaftesbury, newly promoted and sniffing a play-off place themselves, my hometown team required just one point to be crowned Champions and thus gain automatic promotion back to Step Three of the non-league pyramid.

A mighty crowd of 1,096 assembled at Badgers Hill on a sunny afternoon and we watched as Dodge went 1-0 up via an audacious lob from David Duru which was a bit like David Speedie’s equaliser against Arsenal in 1985. However, two Shaftesbury goals caused us a spell of anxiety, only for Archie Ferris to poach two goals to clinch a 3-2 win.

There were scenes of elation on the pitch, in the stands and in the clubhouse after the match as fans and players mingled in celebration. Suffice to say, the post-match revelry lasted many hours and there must have been a fair few headaches the following morning.

I include a picture gallery from this Frome game at the end of this piece; it’s not very often Frome Town become Champions of their division after all.

So that was the final chapter in the Easter weekend. Thoughts now turned towards our match with Manchester City at Stamford Bridge on the following Sunday. This would be the first of a Mancunian double-header with United coming down to SW6 the following Saturday.

As game day approached, it seemed that the fate of Chelsea Football Club was not the only thing on our minds. There seemed to be an awful lot of noise surrounding Arsenal and Tottenham. It seemed that all three clubs were wrapped up in an end-of-season debate about priorities, though oddly West Ham were seemingly omitted from all of this conjecture.

Now then, I have never fancied the idea of Arsenal being more successful than us, and the thought of them winning this season’s title has continually made me feel ill. The thought of them winning the Champions League makes me feel even worse. But as this game with City drew near, there were some in our support who actively wanted us to lose, thus enhancing City’s chances of clawing themselves back into the championship race.

This is not for me. I have seen us play over 1,500 times and I have never wanted us to lose a game. Why would I? It’s a preposterous notion.

Legend has it that on the final day of 1997/98, at home to Bolton, some of the support wanted us to lose so we could relegate Everton. Now then, my recollections are not consistent with this at all. I remember some light-hearted booing from a small section of our crowd as we scored a second, thus condemning Bolton to relegation, but nobody was seriously wanting a Chelsea loss that day, surely? Just a few days later we were to play Stuttgart in the ECWC Final. Why would any fan of the club want a defeat on the Sunday before a Cup Final on the Wednesday?

Seeing Tottenham relegated to the second tier for the first time since 1976 is the stuff that dreams are made of, especially if we can relegate them in our last home game of the season. And yet, tied up in this notion of priorities for us in the last part of this season, was a view held by some that seeing Tottenham relegated meant more than a Chelsea FA Cup win, or Champions League qualification.

There were online polls and everything.

Unreal.

Even the thought of polls asking Chelsea fans about the importance of FA Cup wins sends me to a dark place where I solemnly wonder about some of my fellow support.

There’s a side issue here, too, where the importance of us getting CL qualification in a following season has increasingly become a bigger goal among our support than silverware in a current season.

Again, this baffles me.

For someone who supported us from 1971 to 1997 (silverware = zero) I find all this difficult to fathom.

Not prioritising an FA Cup win?

What on Earth would we have thought of that idea in 1997?

Due to the disruption of the train service on this Sunday in London, our pre-match took place in “The Tommy Tucker”, just a few yards from the Fulham Road. Four of us from the West Country – PD, Glenn, Parky and yours truly – were joined by Ollie and Julien from Normandy, and it was grand to see them again. A table was booked for just after midday, and the pub became busier. I noted a few Mancunian accents, but these lads were keeping themselves to themselves and causing no bother. There was a cheer when Sunderland went 1-0 up at home to Tottenham. With West Ham walloping Wolves 4-0 the day before, our rivals from N17 were now entrenched in the relegation zone.

Ho ho ho.

Our game with City didn’t dominate our thoughts, but we were all, I am sure, concerned about the result. I mentioned to PD that I would, no doubt, be looking up at the TV screen during our match, willing the time on, especially if we were doing better than I had hoped.

I was out of the pub with an hour before kick-off, then consumed the worst cheeseburger of the season, and was in at 3.45pm.

Overhead were ominous grey skies surrounding Stamford Bridge, but these were interspersed with sunshine too.

There was a quick chat with Gary and Daryl, fresh from “The Clarence” and we pooh-poohed the idea of wanting us to lose.

“Nah, fack that.”

It took a while for Glenn and PD to join me in The Sleepy, but as kick-off approached, we were together.

Liam Rosenior chose this team (or had this team chosen for him, if the Machiavellian rumours are true…)

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto – Wesley Fofana – Jorrel Hato – Marc Cucurella

Andrey Santos – Moises Caicedo

Estevao Willian – Cole Palmer – Pedro Neto

Joao Pedro

Before the game, two Chelsea stalwarts Frank Blunstone and Sylvan Anderton, both ninety-one years of age, appeared on the pitch by the tunnel and they bathed in the applause. Blunstone, a young winger in our first Championship team in 1955, is only one of two players still alive from that team. The other, former Bristol City manager Alan Dicks, is also ninety-one. It is a joy that they are still with us. Anderton played for Chelsea just after that league title win.

City were wearing a light grey kit with vivid lime socks, and I remembered seeing them wearing that combination at Chelsea once before. Those socks were as hideous twenty-odd years ago as they were in 2026.

The game began, and we attacked The Shed. We traded punches in a lively opening few minutes, with a break from Cole Palmer raising a cheer, only for a weak shot to drift past the post. Within the first ten minutes, an effort from Joao Pedro and another from Palmer gave us all a much-needed boost.

“Ten minutes, Paul.”

City looked to attack down our right as often as they could and Jeremy Doku was often involved. Malo Gusto was a reliable shield in those opening moments.

“Fifteen minutes, Paul.”

Just after, a beautiful run into space from Joao Pedro caused City grief, and I urged him to play in Marc Cucurella, well-advanced. He punched the ball through to the Spaniard, who adeptly scored low past Gianluigi Donnarumma. I was up celebrating, and I immediately loved the roar from my fellow supporters that accompanied the goal. It reassured me that large swathes of the Chelsea support hadn’t lost their minds. However, in a flash, I saw the linesman with his flag raised.

Ugh. Yeah, thought it might be.

“He should have played the ball half a second earlier.”

Bollocks.

We continued in an open game.

“Twenty minutes, Paul.”

As City played in and around our box, looking to penetrate and reach the looming presence of Erling Haaland, I was impressed that we kept our shape and flung bodies in the way of passes and shots. This showed commitment to the cause, something that isn’t always prevalent in our game (and yes, it hurts me to write that…)

There was a rousing “Chelsea – Chelsea – Chelsea – Chelsea” to “Amazing Grace”, the first real show of support; shame it had taken us a full quarter of the match to do so.

“Twenty-five minutes, Paul.”

We played a smattering of decent football in the City final third. There was a nice move, Palmer to Estevao to Pedro Neto, who came inside and forced a fine low save from Gianluigi Donnarumma. We all enjoyed another piece of skill from Pedro Neto, a sublime Zola-esque twist on the goal-line, so reminiscent of the Sardinian’s humiliation of Jamie Carragher in 2003.

“Thirty minutes, Paul.”

However, City had begun to dominate and there was a great save from a shot by Bernardo Silva from Robert Sanchez, who was roundly applauded by us. Yet, just seconds later, he booted the ball out into the City half, and it landed a good thirty yards from the nearest Chelsea player. The cheers turned to groans.

Robert Sanchez has that knack.

“He used to be shite, he was alright, think he’s back to being shite again” doesn’t really scan, though, does it?

“Thirty-five minutes, Paul” became “forty minutes, Paul.”

I was content with our showing. We hadn’t been out-muscled, or out-played, and had created a few chances. The best chance came right at the end of the half. In the first minute of added time, a Palmer free-kick out on the Chelsea left was swung in and Santos had an unhindered leap at the far post. I caught his header fly over the bar.

Bollocks.

The big question at the break was this :

“Can we play two halves the same?”

For some reason I noticed the mood in the stands at the start of the second period. We had more than held our own in the first half, yet there was no reaction to the players as they reappeared for the second half. Spectators quietly returned to their seats, though a fair few did not bother returning for quite some time, and there was no hint of a cheer or a roar to greet the players. It was all very sedate and all very apathetic. Did I imagine it, or were there times when a similar situation years ago might have resulted in a few roars of support from the Chelsea faithful to create a mood of hostility against a fancied team? I am sure that this sort of practice still exists in the various hotspots of European club football.

Just not in SW6.

It was if the spectators at Stamford Bridge were returning for the second act in a hushed West End theatre.

“Pass the bonbons, dear.”

City, attacking The Shed, began the second period on fire. There was a very early chance for Haaland in the very first minute, then Rayan Cherki screwed a shot wide.

On fifty minutes, Cherki was given time to float a cross towards the six-yard box and Nico O’Reilly rose to glance a header down and past Sanchez.

The City mob celebrated, we slumped in our seats.

Soon after, the City supporters roared.

“WE’RE NOT REALLY HERE.”

Just after, a shot from Antoine Semenyo – a great addition to their team – was deflected wide by Cucurella.

“BLUE MOON, YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE.”

I spoke to PD : “could be a long half.”

Wesley Fofana then managed to backtrack and head off the line and clear.

On fifty-seven minutes, Cherki collected a short corner and ran across the pitch, unhindered, looking for a team mate to hit.

As he ran on, Glenn commentated succinctly.

“Oh shit…oh shit…oh shit…”

His cute pass found Mark Guehi, who tucked the ball low past Sanchez.

Bollocks.

We weren’t in it. There was still half an hour to go. I held my head in my hands.

We conjured up only half-chances. We created only scraps. When needed to be called in to action, Donnarumma dealt with everything.

On sixty-seven minutes, Rosenior made some changes.

Romeo Lavia for Andrey Santos.

Alejandro Garnacho for Estevao.

Yet in the very next minute, Moises Caicedo was pick-pocketed after a pass out from Sanchez, and Doku raced on to score.

The city lot celebrated and soon did their trademark Poznan, though I suspected there was no looking back in anger, only glee.

After the game was lost, we created a few chances.

A ball from Cole Palmer to Joao Pedro was headed wide.

There was a daisy-cutter from Cucurella.

A reactionary save from Donnarumma from Cucurella’s header, close in, denied us a goal.

There were three late changes.

Dario Essugo for Caicedo

Liam Delap for Joao Pedro

Josh Acheampong for Gusto.

There had been a warm ripple of applause for Mateo Kovacic as he entered the pitch from the City bench.

The linesman signalled eight minutes of injury time and we sighed again. I stayed to the final whistle. I must be a masochist.

So, there we have it. Two games from two different levels of the football pyramid. Of course, if I was feeling particularly mean-spirited, I could have called this one something different.

“Tales From Champs And Chumps” anyone?

Sometimes it’s the gallows humour that helps us cope.

It was a long and solemn drive home, and I eventually reached home at about 10pm. When I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t gleefully warmed by us helping City to overtake Arsenal, but depressed because we had been humiliated yet again this season.

CHELSEA VS. MANCHESTER CITY

FROME TOWN VS. SHAFTESBURY

Tales From A Visit From The Vale

Posted on April 11, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. Port Vale : 4 April 2026.

The hangover from the loss at Everton lasted longer than I had expected, but it is no real surprise. The Chelsea team performed at a very low level, there was my personal altercation with a fellow-supporter, and the sight of the Chelsea team playing in front of just five-hundred of our three-thousand fans at the end of the game didn’t sit well with me at all.

However, there was a full fortnight before the next Chelsea game and I would be able to enjoy three Frome Town games in that period. It felt like a busman’s holiday, of sorts, and a very pleasant one too. That I needed to squeeze in five days of holiday in that fortnight made for a very nice feeling indeed.

The first of these games took place on Tuesday 24 March at Falmouth in Cornwall. After my faux-pas in booking up the wrong dates for a potential two-day stay, I made this a lengthy “in-and-out” mission. I had time for a drink with a Frome mate on the quayside first, though, and was amazed how many Frome supporters had travelled to the game. On a very wet night, in a competitive match, Frome ran out 4-1 winners. My position in the covered main stand meant I kept dry, but others were drenched despite standing under cover. There is, indeed, no escape from horizontal rain.

My abiding memory of the game was how entertaining the match turned out to be. Despite a soft pitch and atrocious conditions, both teams went hell-for-leather. Hats off to the Falmouth Town support too, who made a racket even when losing heavily.

However, I again realised a major difference between football on this night at this game and at this level in general and that of the Premier League.

At the very top level, players are super fit, and play is often squeezed into a very compact area, with defenders sitting deep. Therefore, play slows down because there is such a lack of space. Often players are squeezed into only thirty yards of the pitch’s length. However, at Frome’s level, players are not quite so fit, conditions are not so perfect, and play is much more spread out spatially. Very often, players take up half of the pitch’s length. This results in more space and a greater variety of ways and methods to attack.

Leaving a sodden Falmouth that night, my love of the lower levels of football was strengthened. I had seen football “how it used to be played” and those memories kept me contented on the long drive home.

These days, as always, we don’t need sporting perfection; we just crave entertainment.

The next game in my Frome Town trilogy was a home match with Didcot Town on Saturday 28 March. On a gorgeous sunny day, watched by a lovely attendance of 608, two David Duru goals gave Dodge a 2-0 win against a stubborn Didcot Town team. It rounded off a fine week of three wins, and our unbeaten run now stood at twenty-five in the league alone.

The final match took place in Worcestershire in the village of Inkberrow on Good Friday, home to Sporting Club Inkberrow. On a very windy day and backed by around one-hundred and forty away fans, Frome stormed to a 3-0 lead in the first half in a fantastic display of attacking football. No further goals ensued, but this was a very comprehensive performance. It meant that my hometown team required just one more point in its remaining four games to become Champions and secure automatic promotion back to the Southern League Premier.

One moment struck a chord from this game, though. Losing 0-3 and with just minutes remaining, the Inkberrow players were streaming forward in search of a goal. Their spirit was amazing to see. As a stark comparison, I was reminded of many occasions when Chelsea are losing and we witness defenders and midfielders passing the ball painstakingly between them, none of them taking ownership of the moment, none of them looking to play outside the tedious regimen we find at that level.

Sigh.

With the Frome break now behind me, it was time to focus on the oldest football competition in the world; Chelsea were up against Port Vale at Stamford Bridge in the Quarter Finals of the FA Cup.

A game against Vale was long overdue, despite them being only the twelfth team that we ever played way back on 21 October 1905. Our history with them goes back as far as is almost possible to go. However, we last played the Valiants from Burslem in 1929.

This would be a massive game for them. It was their biggest FA Cup match for decades. I tried to think of a Chelsea comparison. Maybe our visit to the San Siro in 1999, when it felt like a rights-of-passage, a tilt at giants, a massive away game.

Vale would be bringing around 6,500, the entire Shed End, and it meant that Parky would be displaced.

On the way over to collect Parky from his village, I spoke to PD about this.

“I wonder which poor unsuspecting bugger is going to be sat next to Parky today, mate?”

We had a little giggle.

It was a clear run up to London on this Saturday morning. Midway through our journey I asked Parky where he was sitting.

“Matthew Harding, mate.”

“Whereabouts, Parky?”

“Dunno, let me look at my phone…U08”

“That’s our section.”

“Oh nice…Row D, Seat 371.”

“Fackinell, mate…you’re sat next to us. You must have Clive’s seat.”

We cracked up.

What were the chances of that?

“I wonder which poor unsuspecting bugger is going to be sat next to Parky today?”

Us, that’s who.

Oh boy.

I met up with the lads in “The Eight Bells”, but there was a different vibe on this occasion. The Oxford vs. Cambridge boat race was taking place on the Thames, starting at nearby Putney Bridge, and so the pub was overflowing with pretty young things supporting both universities. There was also a smattering of Port Vale fans in the pub, causing no problems, and this added an extra dimension.

When it was revealed in the summer, the Port Vale home shirt gained lots of attention for its class and style. Up close it is even better. I spotted that the back of the shirt is sponsored, in feint gold, by my alma mater, the University of Staffordshire. Back in the ‘eighties it was known as North Staffs Poly. Because I always lived close to the Victoria Ground in Stoke, I always gravitated to Stoke City – I think I saw them play around seven or eight times in my three years in The Potteries – and never felt like supporting the “obscure but trendy” option of Port Vale. In fact, I only ever saw them play once while living in the city.

Back in 1987, on 24 January, I was lured up to Burslem to watch Port Vale play Brentford. In my third year of study at North Staffs Poly, I had yet to visit Vale Park, and I knew that I would have to get at least one visit in during my stay in the area. Why did I choose Brentford? I was lured in because Micky Droy, the ex-Chelsea defender, was playing for Brentford in 1986/87.

I took the bus up to Burslem – grey buildings, grey skies – and paid £2.50 to get in. After all that, Droy wasn’t playing. He was injured. Bollocks. I heard a voice inside my head say, “why in God’s name are you here?”

I watched from the Bykers Road end, a very ram-shackle terrace, as the home team won 4-1 in front of just 3,012. The star of that Vale team that season was their young striker Andy Jones who later signed for Charlton Athletic, though Robbie Earle, now a TV pundit, was playing for Vale too, himself a local from Newcastle-under-Lyme. I counted just sixty-five away fans at the other end of the ground.

Now, almost forty years later I would be seeing Port Vale play once more.

I chatted to a couple of “Stokies” in the pub and one of them mentioned how poorly his team were playing, mired to the bottom of the third tier.

“If you score one early, we will crumble.”

The pub was full of visitors from Vale and the Varsity, and it was a nice change. I even found myself watching the boat race on the TV, with memories of my childhood, eager to spot Craven Cottage on the TV screen.

Before the game began, there was a respectful mention of former Chelsea goalkeeper Tony Godden who had recently passed away, aged just seventy. Tony came in to our team in 1986 to offer some experience and played around thirty games. I liked him a lot. He went down in Chelsea folklore by saving two penalties within a few minutes of each other at the Stretford End in a game on 28 September 1986, a game that I attended while living in Stoke.

RIP Tony Godden

I can’t lie; despite Port Vale’s lowly position in League One, I was still worried about the outcome of this match. It had the potential to become the biggest banana skin of them all. Forget Orient in 1972 and forget Bradford City in 2015. This could be the biggest.

Which team did Liam Rosenior select?

Sanchez

Gusto – Fofana – Tosin – Hato

Santos – Lavia

Estevao – Palmer – Neto

Joao Pedro

This was surely a good enough team to beat the lowly Valiants?

In the game at Inkberrow on Good Friday, Albie Hopkins pounced on just twenty-two seconds to put Frome Town ahead, and Chelsea got off to an absolute flier in this game too. Pedro Neto fired in a corner in front of the travelling Vale fans at The Shed. The Vale ‘keeper Joe Gauci flapped not once but twice, and the ball broke to Jorrel Hato who smashed home from close range. Just sixty-four seconds were on the clock.

Chelsea 1 Port Vale 0.

Alan, next to Parky : “They’ll have to come at us know, duck.”

Me, next to Alan : “Come on my little diamonds, duck.”

There was that early goal. I wondered if they would indeed crumble.

We were dominating the early portion of the game, putting the visitors under pressure. A shot from Cole Palmer was blocked.

They countered occasionally, and a cross-come-shot from Rhys Walters whizzed across the six-yard box but here was no Port Vale player present to tap in. A header flew past the post from Connor Hall. But we never looked under threat.

On twenty-one minutes, Palmer set off on a central run, but resisted the urge to shoot on a few occasions, eventually ran out of steam, and lost control. A year or more ago, I felt sure he would have pulled the trigger. It illustrated his form of late, a product of both a lingering injury and a fall in self-confidence.

Just as the frustration was rising in the Stamford Bridge stands, Pedro Neto dug in to beat his defender on the right and crossed for Joao Pedro. He took a touch, pirouetted, dummied to shoot, then slotted home. It was a lovely goal.

Chelsea 2 Port Vale 0.

On thirty-nine minutes, a rare shot from Romeo Lavia, but a pathetic shot too, right at their ‘keeper.

Just after, on forty-two minutes, a ball forward – HOLD THE FRONT PAGE – by Tosin was beautifully touched by Malo Gusto into the path of Joao Pedro. Gusto had continued his run and drifted wide. Joao Pedro played in Gusto whose low shot was pushed out by Gauci towards Palmer. His stab at the ball was deflected in by the lunge of defender Jordan Lawrence-Gabriel.

Chelsea 3 Port Vale 0.

Game over? Surely.

Soon into the second period, we witnessed a lovely move. We won the ball and it was played out to Joao Pedro. His quick touch set up Santos to play in Estevao, who had been relatively quiet in the first half, but his left-footed shot grazed the post. Just after, Palmer was centrally located near the “D” and studiously aimed a shot towards the same post. It turned into the slowest shot of the season. Gauci ate it up.

Neto slammed a fine strike at Gauci.

The Matthew Harding, oddly, taunted the Vale support.

“Shall we sing a song for you?”

This was odd since the home support had hardly sung a note all afternoon.

On fifty-seven minutes, Gusto was found in some space and lofted a fine cross towards the ridiculously un-marked Tosin. The defender rose well and headed down well. It was a neat finish.

Chelsea 4 Port Vale 0.

Soon after, the old favourite echoed out throughout Stamford Bridge.

“Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.”

Not so long after, a mightily loud “Vale ‘Til I Die” rang out of The Shed. It was their loudest moment. None of them had left, either. They were staying put.

Estevao, sent in by Neto, forced a save from Gauci.

On the hour, Liam Rosenior made some changes.

Alejandro Garnacho for Pedro Neto.

Liam Delap for Joao Pedro.

Dario Essugo for Palmer.

There were moans after Estevao played in Garnacho, who planted the ball over the bar.

Fackinell.

There later followed many instances of that crouching dribbling style of the Argentinian down below me.

On sixty-five minutes, Estevao hit the other post after being set free, and after twisting and turning inside the box. This young lad has such talent. His smile is infectious. I hope he stays with us for a while before others come calling.

From nowhere, the Stamford Bridge crowd at last generated some noise.

On sixty-nine minutes, an Estevao corner, a Santos leap, an easy goal, but awful defending again.

Chelsea 5 Port Vale 0.

On seventy-four minutes, a rare shot from a Vale player; a firm strike was well-saved by Sanchez, pushed out for a corner.

On seventy-eight minutes, a debut for Ryan Kavuma-McQueen, who replaced Romeo Lavia, quelle surprise.

On eighty-two minutes, a lovely ball set up Garnacho who struck a shot against the post, only for Estevao to tuck in the rebound. There was a suspicion of offside, but VAR disagreed.

Chelsea 6 Port Vale 0.

I chuckled when the visiting fans taunted us :

“Is there a fire drill?”

On eighty-five minutes, Josh Acheampong replaced Gusto.

In the last minute of the match, strong hold-up play from Delap set up Garnacho who was up against a lumbering Vale defender. He tumbled, and a penalty was signalled.

It looked to me like Garnacho had to argue with Delap about who would take the kick. In the end, Garnacho took the ball, and we waited.

I almost expected him to dribble the ball in.

But no, a confident strike.

Chelsea 7 Port Vale 0.

I would like to say “magnificent” but the opposition were truly atrocious.

They were lucky to get nought.

Right then…

Charlton Athletic, Hull City, Wrexham, Port Vale.

Who is next?

The Frome Trilogy

Chelsea vs. Port Vale

Tales From The Anniversary Game

Posted on March 15, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. Newcastle United : 14 March 2026.

I was in early for the match with Newcastle United. I had left the chaps in the pub and fancied a little mooch around the stadium prior to entering. It was a sunny afternoon, with an occasional chill to the air.

As I approached my seat in The Sleepy Hollow, I heard my name being called. I spotted Joe, who is Hersham Bob’s son, and comes to occasional matches at The Bridge. Hersham Bob wasn’t going to be at this one, instead giving his ticket to Joe so that he could bring his Godson along to his very first Chelsea match. Instead, Bob had spent the afternoon watching his local team Walton & Hersham defeat Farnham Town. Joe asked if I could take a few photos of the two of them and I duly obliged.

I explained that I liked the synchronicity of this, since my first-ever Chelsea game was also against Newcastle United at Stamford Bridge. In fact, for the second time in three seasons, the football calendar almost gave me the perfect date for this game.

Back in 1974, Chelsea played Newcastle United at Stamford Bridge on Saturday 16 March.

Two years ago, approaching the fiftieth anniversary of my debut, Chelsea played Newcastle United at home on Monday 11 March. So near and yet so far from the perfect match.

And here we were, in 2026, closer still.

Prior to this game, I had seen Chelsea play the Geordies forty-three times at Stamford Bridge in the fifty-odd years since that momentous day in my life. Apart from the COVID season of 2020/21, you must go way back to 1985/86 to when I last missed a home league game against them. The appearance of those black and white shirts at Chelsea is always an important moment for me; it reconnects me with my childhood and some of the loveliest memories of going to football over the years.

That first game in 1974, the 6-0 rout in 1980 with Phil Driver on fire, watching as Pat Nevin ran riot in 1983, seeing the emergence of the Kevin Keegan-managed “Toon Army” from 1993 until 1996, and then meeting Keegan in the tunnel before a game in the Spring of 1995, then a hugely enjoyable 1-0 win against them as the league leaders a little later in 1995 and the utter domination of them for many years. In all of the thirty-six league games I had witnessed against them, there were just three Chelsea losses. In 1983, a 0-2 defeat with Kevin Keegan a player, in 1986 and a poor 1-3 defeat, then in 2012, a 0-2 loss and those two Papiss Cisse wonder strikes. There was also a 3-4 loss in a League Cup tie in 2010.

Like us, Newcastle are a strange team this season; they have been underperforming, and have been under Sunderland too, which might be seen as more of a concern to their followers.

While Hersham Bob was watching his hometown team winning in southwest London, my hometown team were winning in the southwest of England. Frome Town stormed to a 4-0 half-time lead at home to Bishops Cleeve – what a quintessentially English name – but there were no further goals to report. The win left Dodge with a mighty fine 27-5-2 record, and with a twelve-point gap at the top of our division. This outstanding record is the highest points-per-game yield in the first nine levels of the football pyramid in England and Wales. If there isn’t a trophy for that, there bloody well should be.

The spectators drifted in. There were still blue skies overhead.

The team?

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto – Wesley Fofana – Trevoh Chalobah – Marc Cucurella

Reece James – Moises Caicedo

Cole Plamer – Enzo Fernandez – Alejandro Garnacho

Joao Pedro

I had watched the PSG game on Wednesday on TV and thought we had been tasty until the Filip Jorgensen error that gifted the home team their third goal. I think this is a commonly held view. However, I couldn’t believe the amount of people who reckoned that we were poor for most of the game. Nah, couldn’t see that.

More than a few people outside the stadium had quizzed me beforehand:

“Can you play in goal?”

So, I returned the favour and asked others.

Alas, none of us could.

Outside on the Fulham Road, I spotted two new Nike advertisements on two billboards involving Estevao. The one on Brittania Road – a prime site – has featured Chelsea players before. I took one photo of Estevao’s image behind the ever-present religious missionary who has been at Stamford Bridge for around two decades (also spotted recently at Arsenal, you have to admire his persistence, I have never ever seen anyone stop and intelligently engage with him in all these years) and so I titled the image “Estevao The Redeemer.”

There were pre-match huddles – no, I didn’t spot the referee Paul Tierney in the middle of ours – after the usual pre-match flag-waving, flames and fireworks. Much was made of Reece James signing a six-year extension by the shouty-shouty match announcer, and his crowd-surfer flag appeared to my left in the MHL.

No Clive, no Alan; just PD and little old me in row D of the Sleepy Hollow for this one.

The lovely royal blue and the famous black-and-white stripes began their battle once again. There were a couple of Geordie staples to set things off :

“We are the Geordies, the Geordie Boot Boys…”

“Oh me lads, you should have seen us gannin…”

It was a pretty decent start, quite lively, and we enjoyed most of the early pressure, with Garnacho racing down the wing on the left. At times his running style is rather odd, like a hyper-active cartoon character. Unfortunately, many of his final decisions appear to be made by Bugs Bunny.

A corner was pinged into the box and Fofana leapt to meet the ball – snap! – but it flew over. Not long after, the ball was played inside to Palmer, but he sliced his shot well wide of the left-hand post. There were efforts from James and Garnacho, forever looking to creep inside and shoot. On the quarter of an hour, a nice break involved Garnacho passing to Enzo but his shot was blocked.

Alas, on eighteen minutes, Newcastle caught us out. They had not really threatened too much but former blue Tino Livramento was afforded too much space, but he also spotted space, a huge tract of land that would be worth millions if it was to be sold at market prices, knocking an early ball through our defensive lines to Joe Willock. I feared the outcome. He advanced and Sanchez rushed out. Instead of shooting, he passed to Anthony Gordon who easily pushed the ball in. The appeals for offside were too pathetic for further comment. We had been undone as simply as it gets. We were caught too square, and nobody was remotely close to Willock. It was shocking defending.

Bollocks.

Buoyed by this goal, the visitors now took command as the frustration grew in the home areas. Unfortunately, this manifested itself in one of my co-supporters calling Moises Caicedo a “C-word” and I inwardly fumed.

The Geordies pieced together a couple of half-chances, but thankfully the danger passed.

On the half-hour, Garnacho advanced and passed to Enzo, who intelligently dummied for Palmer to take aim. Alas, his shot was blocked.

Just after, after a terribly long lull, I heard the first real chant of the day from the home supporters, a half-hearted “Amazing Grace.”

Must do better.

Then, Sanchez did well to claw away an effort from Willock at the near post.

On thirty-six minutes, a strong curling effort from Palmer was turned around his post by Aaron Ramsdale in The Shed goal.

I then heard from the depths of the Sleepy Hollow, someone call Reece James, the club captain, a “C-Word.”

Simmer. Simmer. Simmer.

There was a rather unorthodox save, late on, from Sanchez, and the worry of a VAR check on some pushing-and-shoving by the captain at a corner. Thankfully, no penalty.

There were boos at half-time. I felt like booing our support; we had been as quiet as lambs.

It had been a poor game of football thus far, and I momentarily thought back to that intoxicating game of football that took place in December 1995, forty percent of the way through my history with this lot, and the personalities and players on the pitch and the sidelines. At the time, our manager Glenn Hoddle had begun to use wingbacks and ours were Dan Petrescu and Terry Phelan. Eddie Newton and Dennis Wise were our stalwarts in midfield, while Mark Hughes lead the line. The visitors were managed by Kevin Keegan and his team included Lee Clark, Keith Gillespie, David Ginola, Peter Beardsley and Les Ferdinand. A powerful angled strike from Petrescu gave us the 1-0 win. Over thirty years on, I can vividly remember the thrill of watching a magnificent match at an absolutely rammed Stamford Bridge from the temporary seats at The Shed. The gate was 31,098, and the Geordies lost their first game of the season to us that day. It is a match that is often overlooked in favour of the more high-scoring triumphs – take your pick – against the Tynesiders, but that game and that atmosphere and that victory were huge.

It was a wonderful Chelsea performance, but the best was to come after the game had ended. In 1994, a book called “Blue Is The Colour” was written by Khadija Buckland, a native of West London, who was living close by in Chippenham in Wiltshire. Glenn and I became acquainted with her via her friendship with Ron Harris and, after a while, we arranged to take Khadija up to Chelsea so she could sell her book in the executive areas of the East Stand. Anyway, to cut to the chase, as a reward for taking her up, she had arranged for Glenn, my Geordie mate Pete and me to gain entrance to the players’ bar after the game with Newcastle. We shuffled around by the entrance to the tunnel and waited by a door. I remember that pop star Robbie Williams quickly left the bar and we were then escorted in by Khadija.

Talk about the inner sanctum.

In a small room behind the old changing rooms (which I am sure no longer exists, what with the enlarging of the home dressing room area), we stood at the cosy bar, while Dennis Wise, his girlfriend and mother were chatting in a small group. A few players flitted in and out. I always remember Mark Hughes; arriving quietly, standing at the bar alone, silently sipping a lager. I went over to ask him to sign the programme and I was genuinely awestruck.

Shall we go back to 2026?

Do we have to?

The manager took off Gusto and replaced him with Liam Delap. The shuffle around was easy to work out. James to right-back, Enzo in midfield, Joao Pedro behind Delap. It had a far more attacking feel.

Garnacho was soon involved down below me, but how I wished that he wouldn’t cut back onto his right peg…Every. Single. Time.

Harvey Barnes raced away on a quick break, taking the ball right into the danger area, and I feared danger, but his final pass to Nick Woltemade was heavy, and the chance evaporated.

Delap then looked lively, picking up a loose ball and shooting at goal, but Ramsdale was able to push the ball wide.

At last, some noise from the Matthew Harding.

“Come On Chelsea – Come On Chelsea – Come On Chelsea – Come On Chelsea.”

For the first fifteen minutes of the half, with the Stamford Bridge crowd now energised a little, and with the volumes at pretty reasonable levels – for 2026, not 1995 – it honestly felt like an equaliser was on its way and we would be in contention for a much-needed win. Chances didn’t really materialise though; a shot from Joao Pedro was blocked – snap – but there was little else. We found it difficult to penetrate Newcastle’s two banks of players. God knows what Kevin Keegan would have made of it all.

There was an odd substitution on sixty-one minutes; arguably our best player Caicedo was replaced by “half-a-game” Romeo Lavia.

On sixty-eight minutes, a really fine save from Sanchez down at The Shed denied Gordon. Just after, a Delap run in the inside-right channel but his shot came to nothing. Just after, a delightful cross from Reece found Cucurella who set up Delap. Alas, his effort from merely yards away was unceremoniously booted over the crossbar.

We screamed in anguish. This was the golden chance.

Damn it.

Then, a corner was cleared, Reece crossed the ball in again, but the ball went wide.

On eighty-two minutes, Jorrel Hato replaced Fofana.

Four minutes later, Chalobah met a James corner with a high leap at the far post – snap – but the ball sailed high and wide.

Fackinell.

Then, another Delap chance; a header, over.

The narrative is clear here, isn’t it? Half-chance followed half-chance, but our finishing was woeful.

Eight minutes of added time were signalled, and I remained – stupidly, naively, pathetically – optimistic. Two minutes in, a free kick was awarded in a good area. Messrs Palmer and James met in a two-man huddle thirty yards out to discuss who would take the kick. In the end, the captain shot.

There was a roar and I was up celebrating but could then hardly believe that it had not caused the net to ripple and flutter.

Ballbags.

One last chance, a looper from Joao Pedro from a Palmer cross that nestled apologetically on the roof of the net.

Sigh.

We lost 0-1.

Newcastle finally had our number.

There were more boos at the final whistle.

Despite that ridiculous rollcall of chances, did we ever look like scoring?

I bumped into Long Tall Pete on the Fulham Road and he suggested not.

We had been poor. Newcastle were no great shakes either. It was another example, in a long, long list, of games that just failed to entertain us all.

Just after meeting up with Pete, I spotted the world’s most pathetic and useless sign, which was advising pedestrians as they walked along the road to do the following:

“PLEASE KEEP TO YOUR LEFT OR RIGHT.”

And I immediately thought how this had summed up our play not only on this day, but on many others too. Don’t worry about hitting players early with a direct ball up the middle, to keep defences worried about how to defend, nor hit incisive passes forward into the path of breaking midfielders, but just keep passing laterally to your left and to your right, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

If there was one thing that had made the game slightly bearable it was the occasional glimpse of the sublime talent that is Cole Palmer. He wasn’t exceptional, nor even great, but there were moments when he mesmerised both his markers, and me, and this was no mean feat on a day of such poor play.

If this game had been played forty years ago and had not been on TV in every nation that wanted to see it, the result would have not merited much of a debate.

“I see Chelsea lost at home. Did you go?”

“Yeah, never looked like scoring. Just couldn’t put many moves together. Cole Palmer was worth the admission money, mind.”

In 2026, immediately after kick-off, millions of words were exchanged about our inadequacies, and everything seemed magnificently overblown. I am all for debate and appraisal and all, but sometimes I just want to scream at the levels of toxicity. Inside the stadium, we had hardly played our part, leaving it unfashionably late to start to cheer the team on. But such is modern football and the dynamics have changed.

I have written over two million words on this website about Chelsea games and I fully suspect thousands have been written about the decay of the Stamford Bridge atmosphere. Our traditional support has become older and less likely to engage in boisterous singing, while our newer generation of fans have perhaps become spoilt or even blasé, plus there is the view that clueless visitors from foreign fields do not understand the fan culture, nor add to the atmosphere. Crucially, there are real fears that our bedrock support is being priced out. All those factors play a part in the terrible demise of our matchday atmosphere.

There has also been a subtle shift in attitude. As I have said before, we used to go as supporters. Now everyone is a bloody expert.

Among all this doom and gloom, I still think that we are just a decent goalkeeper and an experienced central defender away from competing, but that just might be the naïve and overly optimistic me. Can Clearlake commit to that? It doesn’t match their model – buying young kids for resale – and that is the big problem. But surely if we fixed those two areas, we would increase our chances to make money which is all that they bloody care about.

Right then, who’s going to the second leg against that French lot on Tuesday?

See you there.

Tales From Arnos Grove And Arsenal

Posted on March 4, 2026 by Chris Axon

Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 1 March 2026.

Since we hadn’t been vastly outplayed nor overpowered in the three previous encounters with Arsenal this season, up until the home game with Burnley I was quite gung-ho about our chances in this away game at the Emirates Stadium. Then, the Burnley disaster – relatively speaking – came and went and my hopes took a battering.

I just couldn’t see us getting anything from this game, and many shared this view.

This would be our second visit to Arsenal in a month and, gluttons for punishment that we are, we were on our way once more. This time, Glenn and Parky were able to join in too, and as I drove east, we thinly discussed our chances, though talk was of other topics too.

I chatted a little about Frome Town’s 4-0 walloping of Bideford the previous day; a game in which my local team found the visitors from North Devon to be an obstinate nut to crack. However, a 1-0 lead after just one minute was then increased with three late goals. The gate was a healthy 506, bringing our league average up to 497. Dodge remain fourteen points clear at the top, with just ten games left. It’s obviously bad policy to take promotion for granted, but we are surely only a few more wins away from that. I am trying to get to as many games as possible, and because I have decided not to go to Parc des Princes for the PSG game – many reasons – I have highlighted a trip to Cornwall for a midweek game at Falmouth as a potential replacement. Whisper it, but the other three lads seemed keen too.

We spoke about the day being the twentieth anniversary of the passing of Peter Osgood and we all struggled to take it all in. How can that terrible morning be twenty years ago? We also spoke of the tenth anniversary of The King’s death, and how that coincided with a game at Norwich City. I remember unfurling my Peter Osgood flag at kick-off at that game and being captured fleetingly on the TV feed.

Twenty years ago. Ten years ago. Oh my.

Talking about the passing of time, this would be my twenty-first visit to The Emirates. I rarely miss a match at their new place. Barring a COVID game in 2020/21 and the League Cup game in 2013/14 when we had nine thousand there, I have seen them all.

And – roll on drums – Arsenal have not ended up as League Champions in all those years. Their last Championship was at Highbury in 2003/4.

It has been a very enjoyable time indeed, hasn’t it?

Too bloody right.

Our pre-match for this game took place, once again, in the Arnos Arms at Arnos Grove, just six stops to the north of the Arsenal tube station on the Piccadilly Line. We spent three hours in this large and welcoming hostelry until it was time to take the train south. As we left the pub, both Tottenham and Manchester United were losing.

It only took around fifteen minutes to get to Arsenal.

I took a photo of my four companions – Parky, PD, Jimmy and Glenn – as they slowly marched up the long incline at Arsenal tube. I always love visiting this station as it brings back memories of those visits to Highbury from 1984/85 to 2004/5 to see Chelsea take on our rivals in red and white, not to mention the 1997 FA Cup Semi-Final against Wimbledon. I visited Highbury on nine occasions. I love the hubbub out on Gillespie Road, full of matchday stalls, albeit of the wrong colours, and all the fast-food stalls. It’s a hive of activity. I imagined Ron Harris visiting the old Highbury with his father in the ‘fifties, an Arsenal family in those days. And I remembered my first visit in August 1984; a perfect day.

I decided to veer off and take a little tour of the stadium; an anticlockwise meander, and one that I have only ever done once before. I took a few photos, no surprises there, eh?

It started to rain as I made my way into the away block. There were familiar faces everywhere. In the pub, we had planned our exit strategy. If we were losing by two clear goals on eighty-five minutes, we would meet out by the Herbert Chapman statue. If the game was closer, we would stay ton the end. Getting out was all about causing PD and Parky as little discomfort in walking back to the tube as possible.

I took my position right behind the corner flag in row 2 at about 4pm. I shared a few images with some mates in the US and told them to keep a look out for me.

“North Face mustard, can’t miss me…and that’s my jacket, not my complexion.”

The stadium filled. I was aware that the Arsenal lot were to unfurl a new “tifo” before the game. I think it might have said “Being Second Best Isn’t For Everyone” but as it was paraded obliquely to my right, I couldn’t see it. In the League Cup semi-final, the pre-match was a light show, but on this occasion, it was flames and fireworks, as per.

Then “North London Forever” with the followers of the Woolwich Wanderers holding their thousands of bar scarves above their heads, bless them, the epitome of modern football.

Our team?

Robert Sanchez

Reece James – Trevoh Chalabah – Mamadou Sarr – Jorrel Hato

Andrey Santos – Moises Caicedo

Cole Palmer – Enzo Fernandez – Pedro Neto

Joao Pedro

I was alongside Gary, John and Alan.

“Big game for Sarr, Gal.”

Each team had a pre-match huddle.

For the first time that I can remember, we attacked the Clock End in the first half. We had the best of the first quarter of an hour, but a lone shot from Cole Palmer on five minutes that was sliced high and wide of David Raya’s left-hand post was also unfortunately matched by three instances of worrying distribution from Robert Sanchez up the other end.

I wasn’t sure if my nerves could take too much more of that.

Yet again I was surprised how deep Declan Rice plays for Arsenal.

The Chelsea crowd did their best to get behind the lads.

The confusing “we’re going to have a party (future tense), when Arsenal fucked it up (past tense)” was aired and I did wonder if this welding together of the past and the future might signal that Arsenal have and always will bugger it all up somehow.

If so, ingenious.

Inspired, even.

I kept saying pre-match that I wanted us to keep it tight in the first ten minutes, not conceding, not getting their fans all agitated.

We had succeeded; it was a decent start.

On eighteen minutes, all eyes were on Captain Reece as he came over to take the first corner in front of us of the match. His gently back-spinning cross dropped just wide of the near post.

Alas, on twenty-one minutes, Arsenal did what Arsenal do, and they robotically scored from a corner. The ball came in towards the back stick where Gabriel Magalhaes headed the ball back across the six-yard box for William Saliba to score.

Bollocks.

This wasn’t much of a spectacle, and the noise levels were far from deafening. The home lot certainly didn’t seem like they were supporting a team on the cusp of a first title in twenty-two years.

On the half-hour, an odd Raya kick out, and he ended up sprawling as he was put under pressure by Joao Pedro, who was looking lively.

On thirty-six minutes, Arsenal broke away and really should have done better, but the chance to shoot finally fell to Rice, who blasted over. This was a rare free-flowing move from anyone.

I had to laugh when, late into the half, Gary commented that he finally realised that Moises Caicedo was playing. I laughed because five minutes earlier, I had realised that Andrey Santos was playing too. Their roles, often hidden in the patterns of passing, were evidently even more camouflaged in this game.

In the second minute of injury time, we lambasted Reece James for walking over to take the third corner of the half in front of us.

“Come on Reece, get a move on” was the clean version.

He whipped in a corner towards the near post, and amid the forest of bodies, Raya made a fine reaction save as the ball ricocheted towards him.

Another corner was awarded.

I remember thinking “not another drop into the near post AGAIN.”

There was a sizeable delay before this corner was taken, and perhaps this worked in our favour. The captain whipped it in, a blur, I snapped, bodies rose, the ball made the net ripple.

GETINYOUBASTARD.

Reece ran over to the corner flag, joined by his teammates, and after the initial guttural roar from my very soul, I jumped into action.

Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.

Some were decent, some were shite.

But a great moment.

“If we can take two points off them here” – strangely this seemed just as important as us getting a pint – “we can really dent their title push.”

It became apparent that someone called Piero Hincapie, whoever he might be, scored an OG.

Smiles at half-time.

“If only we can hold on.”

We had learned that Tottenham had lost at Fulham – good – but United had come back to beat Palace – not good, but now it was all about us.

There were huddles from both teams before the referee began the second period, with us now attacking the far side. My pub camera had done its job. I wasn’t to use it much in this half.

I couldn’t help noticing how quiet everything was. I also couldn’t help spotting too many half-and-half scarves in our end.

I am not a violent man, but…

On forty-nine minutes, Sanchez was to the rescue as he ran out to clear a through-ball. Just after, Enzo received a ball from Joao Pedro and forced a fine save from Raya. Then just after that, another Reece James special was headed on by Trevoh Chalobah – who had really impressed me in the first half – and set up Joao Pedro to head at goal.

Well, dear reader, I was convinced we would score and was up and ready to scream, but Raya miraculously saved.

Bollocks.

On fifty-six minutes, a really lovely move from back to front, and a great cross from Reece on the right, and a flick on from Joao Pedro was just too high for Palmer to connect.

Ugh.

It had been “all us” in the last ten minutes.

“CAM ON CHOWLS.”

Alas, alas, alas.

On sixty-six minutes, Rice appeared like an arch nemesis in front of us and placed the ball down. It’s fair to say that he took a modicum of abuse from the away faithful.

Sadly, he spun the ball in, and although I did not see much the activity in the six-yard box, I did however see the ball fall inside the goalmouth and the net ripple.

Rice spun around and beamed the widest of smiles at us as he shuffled backwards before turning to run over to be with his teammates.

Fackinell.

It’s an image that I fear will forever be seared into my brain, just like the cry of joy from Julian Dicks as he scored against us at home in 1995, with us watching very close in the temporary stand at The Shed.

Arsenal were now 2-1 up.

Just after, we found ourselves up the far end. A crap corner from Neto, who had been booked just three minutes earlier, and the ball was hit out for Gabriel Martinelli to chase. Neto, humiliated by the terrible corner, raced behind him, but for some reason known to only him, decided not to try and catch up with the raiding Arsenal player and just put pressure on him. Instead, he wildly scythed him down.

A second yellow, a red.

“You idiot, Neto.”

As he walked past the away fans, he avoided eye contact with all three thousand of us.

“Braindead, Gary. Should be fined a week’s wages for that. Idiot.”

Oh bloody hell.

With the scent of victory in the air, Arsenal were now able to find their voices. They did make a fair old racket for a short time. But I could not give them, nor their team, much credit. We had spoken in the pub, quite candidly, how that “Invincible” team of 2003/4 contained some cracking players, and how they played some decent football under Arsene Wenger. But twenty-odd years later, this team seems to play football in a way that has turned many off. This robotic reliance on set pieces. This overly physical – to the point of being unlawful – style of anti-football has found few admirers outside North London. Nobody seems to be happy that Arsenal might win the league playing like this. It seems that we have come full circle from the “1-0 to The Arsenal” days of 1990/91. It’s as if Wenger never existed.

Mikel Arteta as the new George Graham.

Ugh.

On seventy-five minutes, some changes.

Malo Gusto for Hato.

Romeo Lavia for Santos.

Just after Kai Havertz came on for them.

“Oh God, no.”

After seventy-nine minutes, a very fine save down low by Sanchez from an Eberechi Eze effort.

On eighty-six minutes, more changes.

Alejandro Garnacho for Palmer.

Liam Delap for Enzo.

A real piledriver from Caicedo flew just over the bar. These were desperate times. On ninety-two minutes, a drifting and dropping cross from Garnacho dropped towards the far post but that man Raya leapt to claw away, another fine save.

I thought Delap did well in his late cameo.

On ninety-five minutes, the ball was floated towards Joao Pedro who balletically volleyed at Raya, who could not hold the ball. It fell to Delap…pulses racing now…and he poked the ball home.

The net rippled, I went ballistic, hugging a random stranger, punching the air.

But then.

Offside.

I turned and slumped onto the seat behind me.

Dejected.

At the final whistle, we edged out. I looked behind me and only saw Reece James – he had been magnificent all game, our best player by a country mile – coming over to applaud us.

Sigh.

I clocked two young lads in the Chelsea section smiling and occasionally laughing, while the rest of us mournfully paraded past, heads down, deflated. I have no evidence that they were Arsenal fans. I have no evidence that they were Chelsea fans. They spoke with foreign voices.

The difference in body language between them and the rest of us was insane.

I am not a violent man, but…

Outside, we met up and slowly made our way back to the waiting tube, not at Arsenal, but onwards to Finsbury Park, where we took the short hop to Arnos Grove.

A cheeseburger with onions helped ease my pain a little.

A little.

At around 7.45pm, I pointed my car westwards and began the long drive home.

Overall, I didn’t think we were particularly awful. We all shared this view. We had that purple patch before they scored their second. We had a few chances. Cole Palmer is a worry. Will we see him return to his form of old anytime soon? No, I know we didn’t play much expansive football. But we are still a young team, a team still learning about each other. To be honest, I did find the reaction of the Chelsea support to be so ridiculously varied that I had to wonder if everyone was watching the same match. Some were scathing about our performance. Some found it to be more positive. All I can say is that we were always in it, right to the very end. We weren’t beaten heavily.

I know as a spectacle it wasn’t brilliant. I would have hated watching it on TV. But that’s modern football for you. Most games are a tough watch these days.

Eventually I made it home.

This awayday had lasted from 9am to 11pm, and we have two more away days at Aston Villa and Wrexham on the near horizon.

It’s what we do, I guess.

I’ll see you there.

Tales From A Game Of Real Stupidity

Posted on February 28, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. Burnley : 21 February 2026.

After missing the Hull City trip the previous weekend – a professional performance, a lovely trip to Wrexham next – the home game with relegation-threatened Burnley was therefore my first Chelsea match in eleven days. From the very off, this felt like the very definition of a “bog standard” / “run of the mill” match at Stamford Bridge, and it didn’t exactly get our pulses racing as we all converged on SW6.

I was inside the ground at 2.30pm and I soon glimpsed over at the away end to see what allocation Burnley had managed to bring. As I suspected, it was the lower of the two amounts: 1,500 and not 3,000. This was no surprise. Wolves are already down and the claret and blues from Lancashire are surely not far behind them, or above them to be exact. I would have been really surprised had they opted for the full amount.

My mate Alan soon arrived and showed me a photo in the match programme that honoured Gary’s father Ron who had passed away before Christmas, aged ninety-one. For many years, he had a season ticket with Gary in the front row of the East Upper. What a view that must have been.

Paul showed up a little later after being spotted down in “Jimmy’s” with – er – Jimmy, as they both enjoyed an extension of their pre-match drinking session that I had joined at around 12.30pm in “The Eight Bells.” Before that, I had shot over to London Bridge Road to treat myself to a “double double” at “Manze’s” pie and mash shop, the oldest in London. It was my third visit, and the grub was as good as ever. The place was very busy and rammed full of Millwall before their home match with Pompey. I had shared my table with a local and there was a little small talk before I left.

“Have a good day, mate.”

“And you. Goin’ football?”

“I am, yes, but not the same game as you. Chelsea vs. Burnley.”

Years ago, such an interaction might not have been so forthcoming, but things have relaxed a lot in the past couple of decades.

“Might see you in the topflight next season.”

“Yer. We’ll add something to that division.”

I thought to myself “you’re not wrong there, mate” as I squeezed past him and his mound of mash, pies and liquor.

On the way into London Bridge Station, the Portsmouth lot were just arriving, full of song, and I was surprised that there were no police, yet, on show. I have always had a little soft spot for Pompey, and I remembered a Frome lad, Rob, who supported them but sadly took his own life in the summer, a fact that I am still struggling to accept.

I had enjoyed my little dip into another corner of London; Bermondsey Street especially looks a lively stretch, full of pubs and cafes, all under the shadow of The Shard. It brought it home to me how London is smothered in football clubs, each with their own catchment areas, pre-match drinking regimes and habits, their own rituals, and their own rivalries. Imagine London with just two professional clubs; how dull would that be?

In the pub, I joined up with the lads, but all was not well. Jimmy the Greek was suffering with lower back pain, and Ian had pulled a calf muscle. As for me, after my traipse to and from underground stations and on to “Manze’s” I needed a sit-down.

The game against Burnley would mark the first appearance of the new shirt sponsor, IFS, an AI company, and Jimmy said, “it should be FFS” and I had a little chuckle.

AI, eh? I almost saw it coming. I must admit that I am not a fan of artificial intelligence, as I have already witnessed how it can be used to stir up hatred on social media. It also has a detrimental impact on the environment, using ridiculous amounts of water to cool its super servers, plus copious amounts of electricity of course. Will it eventually lead to employment losses? I think we all know the answer to that. But that’s a debate for another day. Meanwhile, I am consciously trying to stay away from it.

However, I am sure that the people that run Chelsea Football Club will increase their use of AI as the future unfolds, especially in increasing revenue streams.

“How can we fleece as many possible punters as possible, while convincing them that we are doing them a favour?”

And I am sure AI has found its insidious way into assessing the agglomeration of data that exists in football these days.

“What is the most efficient way to score goals in football?”

I suspect we all know the answer to that one too; pass, pass, pass, wait for an opponent’s error, shoot but only when within ten yards of the goal.

Sorry, but in these days of fake everything, I prefer life and football with a little more authenticity. And fun.

In the pub, I gulped down two pints of refreshing “Diet Coke” and it was then time to depart. Alas, this was a bittersweet moment. The current landlords are moving away, and this was the last time that we would see Aga and her team. We all hoped our love affair with “The Eight Bells” can continue under the new regime.

Dear reader, it was a pitiful sight as the troops slowly ascended the stairs at Putney Bridge tube station, what with PD and Parky and their dodgy hips, Jimmy with the excruciating pain in his back, and Ian limping like he had been on the receiving end of a “difference of opinion” with Ronnie Harris.

Compared to them, I relatively flew up the three flights of stairs.

We liked the look of the team; we knew that Marc Cucurella was still out, and so his place was taken by Malo Gusto. I hoped that this would be a seamless adjustment, rather than a maladjusted one.

So, here we were :

Robert Sanchez

Reece James – Trevoh Chalobah – Wesley Fofana – Malo Gusto

Moises Caicedo – Andrey Santos

Pedro Neto – Cole Palmer – Enzo Fernandez

Joao Pedro

On the way into the Matthew Harding Upper, I had been thoroughly dismayed to see every single TV screen showing the England vs. Ireland rugby game.

“Why are they showing that crap?”

We were here for Chelsea. For football. Had Chelsea run out of Chelsea stuff to show the punters?

There was the usual pre-match routine, some of which felt right, but most of which still felt odd, artificial, and forced upon us.

Chelsea songs, crowd-surfing flags in the Matthew Harding, flags being waved in The Shed, flames in front of the West Stand, fireworks fizzing into the air. I am sure there was none of this prefabricated nonsense at Millwall.

The game began, but it again felt odd to see us attacking the Matthew Harding in the first half. While we were chattering away to ourselves, we took an early lead. And it came from un-likely move. Rather than passing to the nth degree, something that frustrates most of us, an incisive ball played early from Moises Caicedo that exploited an early gap in the Burnley defence. His ball was perfectly paced and placed for Pedro Neto to gather and then smack a low cross towards the six-yard box where Joao Pedro arrived to bundle the ball over the line.

We were up and celebrating as the scorer raced across to the far side.

But then, the rancid odour of VAR swept over Stamford Bridge and a potential handball was reviewed. Alan and I vented our displeasure. We had already spoken about the authentic nature of the matchday experience at Millwall, and the absence of VAR in the division below was referenced as we spoke about the differences between the two games being played out only a few miles apart.

I know a few fans of clubs in the Football League who absolutely love the fact that their games do not involve the passion killer of VAR. For that is what it is. It has muted the adrenalin rush of goals, as I always said it would.

Thankfully the goal stood.

We dominated the next twenty minutes of play and although we managed to create a reasonable supply of chances, much of our play was slow and methodical. Burnley had a couple of pot shots at our goal at The Shed.

A quarter of the match in, I noted to Alan that I hadn’t heard a peep from the Lancastrians in the far corner.

Shots from Enzo and Cole Palmer were either struck over or blocked.

It then went awry for ten minutes, and we lost what momentum we had developed, and just couldn’t carve open the Burnley defence. It felt that we were sitting on our laurels at a time when we really should have taken the game to them. It was a frustrating period.

Alan commented that it felt like we were waiting for them to score, as if we need an outside dynamic to inspire us and galvanise us.

A weak free kick from Marcus Edwards went wide of Robert Sanchez’ goal.

On thirty-seven minutes, Cole Palmer was presented with a one-on-one with Kyle Walker, a good old-fashioned sprint, with just daylight between the ball and the Burnley ‘keeper Martin Dubravka. Palmer raced ahead and shot early, but the ball was parried easily by the ‘keeper.

This was the last attacking threat of the first period, and such is our support these days, that Alan and I spent the closing moments debating whether or not we would get booed off at the break.

Thankfully, there was nothing.

At the break, I heard that Frome Town were 1-0 up at near neighbours Larkhall Athletic who play in Bath. On the Saturday before, the weekend of the Hull City game, I had watched my local team beat Brixham 2-0 at home to solidify our position at the top of our division. That night, PD, Glenn and I met up at the main music venue in town to see tribute acts to The Specials and The Jam. This was another lovely day of football and music, and over the course of it I chatted to three fellow members of the Oakfield Road Middle School team from 1976 to 1978. Fantastic.

The second half started with a jolt to wake us from our first-half stupor. Within the first few seconds, the ball was played forward by Joao Pedo to Palmer, but just as it seemed he was about to unleash a shot on goal, a leg of a defender swiped away at him. We hoped, optimistically, for a penalty but the referee Lewis Smith was having none of it.

On fifty-one minutes, sustained pressure on the Burnley defenders allowed Palmer to intricately set up Joao Pedro, but his shot was blocked. A shot from Neto was similarly blocked.

Would that second goal ever come?

On fifty-five minutes, a rare Burnley effort on goal, a strange looper that dropped like a stone at the far post, but the ball was ushered away.

I liked how we applauded Lesley Uguchukwu off as he was replaced by James Ward-Prowse.

I sometimes make a mental note of how soon into the game the various parts of Stamford Bridge’s home areas get it together and chant or sing as one. On this day in deepest SW6, that moment came on sixty minutes.

Bloody hell, what a disaster.

“Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea” – you know how it goes.

In Bath, near Solsbury Hill, Frome conceded an equaliser.

As we struggled to progressively move the ball towards its target, I moaned “is this fucking rugby? Aren’t we allowed to pass the ball forward?”

Frome then went 2-1 up.

Get in Dodge.

On seventy-two minutes, a clash in the middle of their half, and we watched in horror as Wesley Fofana was shown a yellow, his second of the day, and then of course a red.

Fofucksakefofana.

Ironically, maybe this would be the outside adversity we needed?

Liam Rosenior chose to replace Cole Palmer with Tosin Adarabioyo.

“Answers on a postcard.”

In this adversity, the crowd responded with another “Amazing Grace” – the loudest of the afternoon and my faith in humanity was temporarily restored.

On eighty minutes, more changes.

Jorrel Hato for Malo Gusto.

Liam Delap for Joao Pedro.

I really wasn’t sure all these late changes would work in our favour. This seemed to be change for the sake of it. This seemed to be a panic reaction. Why not let those who had experienced the movement of the Burnley players, their strengths and weaknesses, throughout the entire game be trusted to see us over the line?

Meanwhile, Frome went 3-1 up.

On eighty-two minutes, a super dribble from Pedro Neto, but the shot was saved and the rebound from Hato went high and wide.

On eighty-four minutes, a great cross from the Burnley right was punched out at full stretch by a horizontal Sanchez.

“Well, I’ve never seen that before…”

More substitutions made me, and others no doubt, more nervous.

Josh Acheampong for Reece James, our captain, our bloody captain no less.

Mamadou Sarr for Pedro Neto.

So many late changes were madness.

Ashley Barnes header dropped onto the top of the net from a Ward-Prose free-kick.

Frome went 4-1 up, but I was ridiculously nervous by now. It seemed we were all expecting a late equaliser.

Six minutes of added time were signalled.

Burnley were awarded a corner after three of these minutes.

The whole stadium took a deep breath.

One of my pet hates of the game these days is the constant pushing, shoving, grappling, holding and – to use a well-used football term of late – “shithousery” that goes on in the moments before a corner is taken.

I just wish referees would clamp down on all this nonsense. It’s ugly, it’s pathetic, it detracts from the game.

Well, as Burnley waited to the corner from the far side, I witnessed no end of pushing and shoving, yet again, in the cramped six-yard box. But after all that, or perhaps because of it, and despite our late injection of height in our defence, the ball in from Ward-Prowse was met by a free leap and a free header from Zian Flemming.

The ball almost apologetically dropped into the goal.

Ugh.

What a desperate, but oh-so expected, moment.

I was crushed.

Unbelievably, two minutes later, a copycat corner from Ward-Prowse was met by yet another free header, this time by Jacob Bruun Larsen, but – thank the high heavens – the header flew over the bar.

In a mad final moment, the ball broke for Delap just outside the Burnley box, but his powerful effort flashed over the bar.

It was the very last kick of the game, and it felt like a final kick in the goolies.

How to sum up this match?

We had it in our hands in the first half, and for huge parts of the second half. But our reluctance to push on and grab more goals just infuriated everyone. The sending-off was a personal disaster for Fofana and our disciplinary record this season is utterly embarrassing. But oh, those late substitutions; instead of providing extra security and cover, they just added to the nervousness and confusion.

On a day of artificial intelligence, much of our play and many of our decisions reeked of real stupidity.

Liam Rosenior, until this one, has managed his charges well, and I think most Chelsea supporters have been surprisingly impressed. This one, though, was a shocker.

Let’s hope lessons are learned.

After a break of one week, we meet up at Arsenal and then embark on a crowded schedule of seven matches in just twenty-one days.

On we go.

Tales From A Perfect Day

Posted on February 2, 2026 by Chris Axon

Chelsea vs. West Ham United : 31 January 2026.

Prior to our London derby – the District Line Derby of old – at home to West Ham United, our results had experienced a noticeable upturn, and there was an air of positivity as I collected my three mates – PD, Glenn and Parky – and then set off nice an early for yet another trip to HQ.

I had been unable to watch our magnificent away win in Naples on the Wednesday, but it was the sort of result that brings such a depth of joy that is difficult to beat.

The four of us had a big day ahead. PD was celebrating his sixty-fourth birthday, and so for the second time in three weeks we were staying over in deepest Fulham after the game. I was parked up at just after 10am in the car park of the Premier Inn at Putney Bridge, and we dropped into “The Eight Bells” where Salisbury Steve and Jimmy the Greek were waiting for us. The place, not surprisingly, was virtually empty. It was, after all, around seven and a half hours until the game began.

From there, we headed west to six more pubs along the River Thames, gathering friends along the way, and all of us enjoyed this fantastic pre-match ramble. I sorted out an Uber to take us to the first of the pubs, “Old City Arms” next to Hammersmith Bridge. Ian and his son Bobby – aka “Small Bob”, aka “Bobby Small” – were already there. It was just after 11.15am. From here, we took in five more pubs, all favourites, all located next to the Thames. In “The Blue Anchor” we were joined by our good friends Hans and Jon from Norway, and the famous brothers Dave and Glenn, plus their mate Eddy. We hopped next door to “The Rutland” and Jon’s son Sven joined us. At “The Dove” we squeezed together out on the terrace that overlooked the river and met up with Rob and his wife Alex. Here, Dave from Northampton joined up with us too. Next was “The Old Ship” and then the last port of call, “The Black Lion” which we reached at about 3.45pm.

The weather was unbelievable. Not a hint of rain. A fantastic afternoon in and out of the sun, and in and out of these magnificent pubs. It’s interesting, looking back, when I realise that we never really spoke about the game at all.

We ordered two Ubers to get ourselves down to Fulham Broadway. It had been a perfect pre-match. One for the ages.

As soon as Glenn and I set foot on the Fulham Road, we were really chuffed to bump into an old friend – Olly, now eighty-one – who we used to chat to in The Harwood Arms thirty years ago. He was wearing his trademark blue-and-white Chelsea bar scarf and was equally happy to remember us. We had not seen him for a few years. I always remember that we sat with him in “The Seven Stars” on the North End Road after we won the FA Cup in 1997, and after the Cup had been paraded at Fulham Broadway on the Sunday. A lovely time.

We wolfed down a hot dog apiece and made our way into Stamford Bridge. Waiting for us in The Sleepy Hollow was Alan.

The boys were back together again; four of us in a row.

Chris, Alan, Glenn, PD.

Throughout the afternoon, a couple of friends had been updating me with news of Frome Town’s home game with Willand Rovers. While we were setting up to leave the last pub, a text game through to say that Albie Hopkins, a local Frome lad, had scored. And as I made my way into Stamford Bridge, I heard that this is how the match had ended.

Frome Town’s overall record in the league this season is an admirable 23-4-2. In the last ten games, the team has dropped just two points. My hometown club remained eleven points clear at the top.

Frome Town 73.

Malvern Town 62.

Portishead Town 60.

Winchester City 58.

Shaftesbury 54.

We are also top of the home attendance figures too.

Frome Town 499.

Melksham Town 392.

Malvern Town 343.

Portishead Town 336.

Winchester City 323.

The kick-off at Stamford Bridge was not far away, and I checked Liam Rosenior’s choices.

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto – Trevoh Chalobah – Benoit Badiashile – Jorrel Hato

Moises Caicedo – Enzo Fernandez

Jamie Gittens – Cole Palmer – Alejandro Garnacho

Liam Delap

The match began and we attacked The Shed and began well enough.

“COME ON CHELS.”

However, after just seven minutes – just as I was juggling pub camera and mobile ‘phone – I looked up to see a cross from Jarod Bowen that ridiculously avoided everyone and bounced equidistant from the two central defenders, who both turned around to see who had tapped them on the shoulders, and in front of the ‘keeper. The ball squirmed in at the far post.

Bollocks.

The three-thousand visiting supporters roared, and our hearts dipped.

“1-0 to the Cockney Boys.”

Ugh.

On fourteen minutes, a Badiashile error, but a shot from Valentin Castellanos was saved by Robert Sanchez at his near post.

We were dominating the ball but were doing nothing at all with it.

I commented to Alan “Gittens is hard work.”

There was a moment just after when one of our centre-backs had the ball, and was not under a great deal of pressure, but there was simply no movement from anyone in a blue shirt ahead of him. It was infuriating. I started yelling into the abyss.

Our play was terrible. There was no physicality, no desire; just a timid bunch of players who seemed lost.

On twenty-six minutes, we were forced into a change as Gittens was injured. Pedro Neto took his place.

A shot from Moises Caicedo flew past Alphonse Areola in the West Ham goal.

On thirty-six minutes, a long ball out of defence found Bowen, who passed forward to Aaron Wan-Bissaka. His cutback was adeptly poked home by Crysencio Summerville.

The Cockneys and the Mockneys roared again.

Another ugh.

This was awful.

“Stamford Bridge is falling down.”

The Irons continued.

“Build it up with Claret and Blue.”

Just horrible.

This was my thirty-first Chelsea vs. West Ham United game at Stamford Bridge and our record in the previous thirty had been fantastic.

Won 20

Drew 6

Lost 4

I remembered the four losses vividly and I had bad vibes about this one now.

Just on half-time, West Ham had a corner down below us. I watched the Chelsea players just pacing around with no urgency, nobody talking to each other, nobody cajoling others to roll up their sleeves and get close to their men, nobody taking the lead, nobody shouting.

What a terrible sight.

At the half-time whistle, boos.

I muttered to a few friends, with no joy, that the first-half performance that I had just witnessed just might have possibly been the worst I had ever seen.

We had nothing. We had hardly carved out a single chance. I remember a Cole Palmer free kick, but that was the sum of our efforts on goal. Alejandro Garnoch – God, I want him to do well – had been dire, as had many.

It had been such a pallid, tame, grey performance.

There were, unsurprisingly, three changes at the break.

Wesley Fofana for Badiashile.

Marc Cucurella for Hato.

Joao Pedro for Garnacho.

I liked the idea of Joao Pedro playing just behind Delap but hoped that he wouldn’t get too tired chasing after his knockdowns.

However, the improvements were not immediate. After forty-seven minutes, we had to rely on a fantastic save from Sanchez from Mateus Fernandes, and three minutes later a quickly taken free kick resulted in a shot from Bowen that Sanchez saved again.

On fifty-five, Cucurella played in to Delap, but a delicate touch took the ball wide of the far post.

Two minutes later, a tantalisingly good cross from Fofana on our right was aimed perfectly at the leap of Joao Pedro. From close-in, he scored.

GET IN.

The bridge, at last – it had been so quiet – got going.

“CAREFREE. WHEREVER YOU MAY BE. WE ARE THE FAMOUS CFC.”

Immediately, our players now looked like they wanted it. Their body language changed and there was a bounce in their step.

After an hour of horrendous football, the boys were back in town.

On sixty-three minutes, a thunderous blast from Caicedo was superbly saved by Areola.

Four minutes later, a shot from Castellanos whizzed past a post, low and wide.

On seventy minutes, a deep cross from Neto on our left was headed back across the goal by Malo Gusto. A defender headed the ball onto the bar as Delap jumped with him, and the ball bounced down. In came a diving Cucurella to head it home.

The net rippled.

What a goal.

What a moment.

I found myself standing in the walkway above my seat, punching the air with booth fists, only to see the bloke behind me doing exactly the same thing. We screamed at each other. It could not have been choreographed any better.

Bloody hell.

Then VAR stepped in.

The goal stood.

I didn’t cheer the VAR decision.

The game continued. The noise boomed around Stamford Bridge. The visitors were silent now.

On eighty-one minutes, Reece James replaced Gusto.

On eighty-five minutes, a snapshot from West Ham’s Jean-Clair Todibo hit the side netting. How he missed I will never ever know.

Cole Palmer slapped a low shot towards goal that was deflected away at the last moment by a West Ham defender.

Fackinell.

Referee Anthony Taylor’s assistant signalled five minutes of extra-time.

Could we do it?

In the second minute of added time, Palmer played the ball square to Caicedo. An intelligent run by Joao Pedro was spotted by our Moi. At this stage I pulled my camera up to my eyes and caught a very blurred shot of the pullback to Enzo. I clicked as the Argentinian shot – a ridiculously blurred photo – and exploded with joy as I saw the net ripple.

I was up on my feet yelling like a lunatic. Inside I was boiling over, outside I was beaming a huge smile, But I bizarrely I remained stupidly calm to take some photos of the scorer.

Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.

Some of them worked. I hope you like them.

Late on, we watched on from afar as some players lost control down near Parkyville. It took forever to work out what was happening, and again the folk watching on TV must have had more of a clue than us. There was a VAR check, but nobody in the stadium knew which player was being scrutinised for a possible red card.

In the end, in the eleventh minute of added time, Jean-Clair Todibo was ordered off.

Soon after, the whistle blew.

What a last half-hour. What a comeback. What a day.

By now, only PD and I were left in our row in The Sleepy Hollow, and we sang along to “Blue Is The Colour” like a couple of sixty-four and sixty-year-old schoolkids.

Fantastic.

Eventually we made our way out, and we walked through “Jimmy’s” down below us. I bumped into Paul from Reading – his smile wide – and after a few seconds we found ourselves in an embrace, bouncing up and down like bleeding idiots.

Outside on the Fulham Road, we met up with PD and Jimmy, and we wolfed down some cheeseburgers.

Then, over to Frankie’s where we bumped into a brilliant cross-section of Chelsea friends and faces. Jason Cundy was holding court in the corner, ex-player Garry Stanley breezed in, we met up with Alex and Rob again, plus a few famous and infamous Chelsea personalities.

The three of us returned to “The Eight Bells” where we met up with Hans, Jon and Sven once again.

At about 11pm, I left PD and Parky to it and trotted over to room 310.

It had been a bloody perfect day.

Oh and – this:

Played 31

Won 21

Drew 6

Lost 4

Next up, Arsenal in the League Cup Semi-Final.

I will see six thousand of you there.

Outside And Inside The Pubs Of Hammersmith And Fulham

Outside And Inside Stamford Bridge.

The Birthday Boy With Garry Stanley.

Tales From An In-And-Out Mission

Posted on January 30, 2026 by Chris Axon

Crystal Palace vs. Chelsea : 25 January 2026.

I have previously penned ten match reports involving Chelsea away games at Selhurst Park against Crystal Palace and I suspect that in each one of them I have mentioned the difficulty in reaching the stadium via whatever means possible.

It’s just not an enjoyable journey by train nor car.

Also, once the immediate area of the stadium is reached, there is only one pub that is hospitable to away fans.

For these reasons, and for the fact that the kick-off time on this Sunday in January was 2pm, it was soon decided that this would be a simple “in-and-out” trip with no pre-match, and a hopefully quick exit after.

PD had recovered from his ailments that forced him to miss Pafos, and I collected him at 8.30am, and Parky at 9am. Bizarrely, my sat nav took me east into very familiar territory – Fulham Broadway – before I shot over Wandsworth Bridge and straight south to a pre-paid parking spot to the north of Selhurst Park on Holmesdale Road, from which the Palace home end is named.

I spoke to the lads about my trip to Bristol the previous day to see my first Frome Town game of the year, and my first for over six weeks. My home town team defeated our old rivals Bristol Manor Farm 3-2 and are now, quite remarkably, a massive eleven points clear at the top.

This last section of driving took me a full forty-five minutes, and it honestly felt that I had driven on every street in south London. In the last couple of miles, my car climbed to the summit of Beaulieu Heights – and the views over a misty south London caught my breath – thus placing me within a hundred yards of the famous TV mast that has peered over Selhurst Park for decades.

Every time I see that mast, it takes me back to my first-ever visit to Selhurst Park in August 1989 when we lost 0-3 to tenants Charlton Athletic, my last Chelsea game before I disappeared off to North America for ten months. Emotional goodbyes to a loved one, surely, should never be that crap.

I dropped the lads off as close to the away turnstiles as possible, and was parked up at 12.30pm, a full four hours after picking up PD.

I had been expecting a typically soggy Selhurst, especially since I was in the front row for this game. However, on the walk to the away end, I was amazed how mild the weather was, and that the rain had held off.

There is an impressive mural in honour of Wilfred Zaha on the end of a house that overlooks that top corner of Selhurst. It sets the scene nicely. There are street vendors, vloggers, and both sets of fans milling around. You really get a sense of how the pitch was dug into the hilly contours of the area, much like at Hampden Park and Molineux. The rising line of houses on the hill at the far end evokes memories of players such as Don Rogers, Alan Whittle and our own Charlie Cooke playing for Palace in the early ‘seventies. It seems that Selhurst Park will always be set in the past, despite a flash upgrade on the main stand being given the go-ahead recently.

Inside, I soon bumped into PD and Parky – with the famous Druce brothers – and spotted the Kentuckians who were still in town. They were amazed how Selhurst sat cheek-by-jowl with tight residential streets. The visitors had seen Bromley play – and win – on the Saturday. They were looking for three straight Chelsea victories on this trip. There was also time for a photo with Stuart, a Chelsea season ticket holder from a nearby village to me. Lastly, a chat with Dave from Alsager in Cheshire, who has recently started penning some entertaining match reports this season.

I reached my seat in good time. Damn that winter sun shining bright above the main stand. And damn the fact that I had left my sunglasses in the car.

I was joined by my mate Stephen from Belfast, via New Orleans, and we had a good old natter.

After years of awful sightlines in the away end, I was just happy to have an unimpeded view of the entire pitch, even the corner flag away to my left, an object that I only ever presumed existed having not seen it since a visit to see us take on Wimbledon – another tenant – in 1998 when the Chelsea fans were lodged behind the goal that was to my right.

The kick-off approached.

Liam Rosenior chose this team.

Robert Sanchez

Reece James

Benoit Badiashile

Trevoh Chalobah

Marc Cucurella

Andrey Santos

Moises Caicedo

Estevao William

Enzo Fernandez

Pedro Neto

Joao Pedro

Flames, fireworks, and the sky was flecked with red, white and blue plumes of smoke.

Crystal Palace were in the latest version of their red and blue stripes and Chelsea were in the off-white ensemble but with those muted green socks.

The Chelsea lot were in good voice as the game began.

We attacked the curved roof of the Holmesdale Road Stand, but the first chance for either team took place at the Whitehorse Lane End. The much-derided Badiashile lost possession, and the striker Jean-Phillippe Mateta struck a firm effort goalwards. Thankfully Sanchez was in fine form, the ball hitting his right-leg, and then flying away to safety.

As against Pafos, we watched a succession of James corners being flighted towards the near post. There was a shot from Enzo, centrally, that was fired over the bar.

Mateta was a towering presence, and he was involved with a few good battles with Chalobah as the half-developed.

The home team had been going through a tough time, with their manager deciding to let on that he was feeling perhaps too claustrophobic among those narrow and overcrowded Selhurst streets and that he would be away in the summer. Their form had dipped prior to this game. There seemed like a degree of tension from their fans.

We goaded them with chants about their “famous atmosphere.”

It was a mixed start to the game with dull build-ups from us, but then occasional rapid breaks. Both Stephen and I noticed that Estevao was quiet in the first twenty minutes.

I tended to become nervous when the ball was played to Badiashile. I always feel that his left boot is on his right foot, while his right boot is on his left foot.

Meanwhile, Cucurella was charging around, covering the inadequacies of others with his usual terrier-like dynamism.

Limited chances were exchanged. Both teams struggled to find their feet, and the game took some time to really get going.

On thirty-four minutes, a defensive mistake in front of the old main stand – an errant back-pass from Jaydee Canvot, whoever he is – and Estevao was away, racing at top speed towards the Palace ‘keeper and captain Dean Henderson. I thought that he had taken the ball too far, but he lashed it past the ‘keeper and the Chelsea crowd roared.

FACKINGETIN.

Huge celebrations from us all, and I turned my pub camera towards my fellow fans in the front row.

Euphoria.

From a few yards away to my left.

“THTCAUN.”

Alan was at the game, fantastic.

The home team improved after our goal, and it became a decent contest.

There was still time to annoy Palace though : “where’s your famous atmosphere?”

Stephen commented “give it to Estevao, he’s more of a threat than the rest put together.”

Five minutes before the break, Estevao took off on a brilliant run, racing past his marker with aplomb, but we watched in agony as his low shot whizzed past the far post.

Fackinell.

At half-time, I was happy. The players had improved in that first forty-five minutes. With them attacking us in the second period – and with me in the front row with my camera – everything was looking positive. The rain was still holding off.

The players “huddled” before the second half, and I wondered why.

Four minutes into the second-half, Chalobah won a battle with Mateta and intelligently passed to Joao Pedro, who passed to Enzo. Enzo passed to Estevao who lofted a beautiful first-time pass towards Joao Pedro. He sold Adam Wharton a dummy, cut inside and struck at goal. I saw the ball fly up and into the roof of the net.

GETINYOUBASTARD.

More noise.

I felt a hand push me forward from behind – “here we go, these celebrations at Selhurst can get ridiculous” – but that was it. I steadied myself, as best I could, and snapped away.

We were 2-0 up and our play improved further as the second half continued. This was very enjoyable.

Estevao – “Steve-o! Steve-o! Steve-o! Steve-o!” – then let fly at Henderson who kept him at bay with an acrobatic one-handed save.

On sixty-four minutes, Henderson got a hand on a cross from Enzo, and the ball fell to Joao Pedro. He shot, but it was blocked. Play continued, we thought nothing of it.

Then after the best part of a minute, VAR chirped up.

Another minute.

Why do these fucking reviews take so long?

The mic’d up referee Darren England spoke…

He first talked about an “accidental handball” but then pointed to the spot, and I could not have been more at a loss as to working out the modern laws. The “accidental” bit saved him Canvot – yes, him again – from a red.

Enzo collected the ball from down in front of us, placed it on the spot and steadied himself.

I steadied myself.

He shot.

I shot.

Goal.

We were 3-0 up.

GETINYOUBUGGER.

More up-close-and-personal photos.

Lovely stuff.

I had not noticed Wharton’s first yellow, but on seventy-two minutes he fouled again and a voice nearby went up :

“Second yellow!”

Indeed, the referee agreed and off he went.

This reminded me of the away game at Manchester City at the start of the month when a nearby wag shouted “second yellow” every time a City player tackled a Chelsea player with extra aggression. Ah, that terrace humour.

On seventy-four minutes, changes.

Wesley Fofana for Caicedo.

Jamie Gittens for Estevao.

Malo Gusto for Neto.

On eighty-one minutes, another change.

Jorrel Hato for James.

On eighty-five minutes, a final change.

Liam Delap for Joao Pedro.

Bizarrely, being down to ten men seemed to inspire Palace and they enjoyed a surprisingly positive end to the match. On eighty-eight minutes, Sanchez saved well from a Jefferson Lerma header, but Chris Richards was on hand for a consolation goal.

A huge nine minutes of extra time were signalled, and yes – of course – this caused ripples of concern in the Arthur Wait stand.

But we saw them out.

The players came over to milk the applause, and shirts were hoisted into the away end.

“Liam! Liam! Liam! Liam!”

I am warming to the bloke.

Outside, I met up with a few mates and eventually Parky joined PD and myself. We trundled back to the waiting car.

We were happy as hell.

It had been a fine day in deepest South.

Tales From The Addicks And The Addicts

Posted on January 13, 2026 by Chris Axon

Charlton Athletic vs. Charlton : 10 January 2026.

The two domestic cup competitions continued to serve us well in season 2025/26. After a decent Autumnal tour of England and Wales – Lincoln, Wolverhampton and Cardiff – in the League Cup, the FA Cup first gave us an away day at Charlton Athletic, a ground that I had not visited since the opening day of 2002/3, and which the club had not visited since early in 2007.

A visit to The Valley was long overdue.

The kick-off time of 8pm would normally have resulted in much wailing – more of that later – but on this occasion, the timings worked out in our favour. I spotted a good deal at the Premier Inn opposite “The Eight Bells” and booked four of us – Glenn, PD, Parky and little old me – in for the Saturday night.

It took me a while to devote some time to planning a pre-match pub-crawl but on the Friday night (just before I set about writing the Fulham match report), I decided that we would hit a few pubs that were centered on The Strand. It is an area that we have covered before, but most of the hostelries would be new.

I left home at 8.45am and soon collected the three chaps. There was a filling breakfast at “McDonald’s” in Melksham, and I soon found myself driving down the Fulham Palace Road only two-and-a-half days after driving up it after the limp 1-2 defeat at Craven Cottage on the Wednesday. We booked in at the hotel, prised Salisbury Steve away from “The Eight Bells”, which was slowly being filled by Middlesbrough fans prior to their cup tie at Fulham, and headed off to Embankment.

By about 1pm, we were drinking outside the first of the pubs of the day, the “Sherlock Holmes”, and the oddest part of that short visit was being approached by a bloke from the Florida Keys – on his first day in London, in England, in Europe – who told us “he just likes hearing you guys talk.” He seemed harmless enough but looked completely confused when I started unravelling the story of the FA Cup for him and soon tried to divert the conversation back to his domain, the world of College Football. His wife soon dragged him back inside the pub, perhaps afraid he would catch a cold, or worse, gain a sudden passion for “soccer.”

We then walked the twenty yards to “The Ship & Shovel” which we visited a few years back before a trip to see us lose to Tottenham in their second season at Wembley. It’s a unique pub, with two rooms either side of a narrow walkway.

From there, another short walk to Villiers Street and a pint at “The Princess Of Wales” where we soon learned that Macclesfield Town from the sixth level of the English pyramid had defeated Crystal Palace, the current FA Cup holders. Here was a beautiful illustration of how the FA Cup, certainly in the early rounds, still captures the imagination of the romantics among us. By the time of the latter rounds, all the magic is sadly squeezed out of the oldest football competition in the world.

I remember dropping in to this pub en route to The Valley in November 2000, when we lost 0-2 on my first-ever visit, and Claudio Ranieri came under torrents of abuse from many among the Chelsea support. He was just finding out about his new charges and was prone to playing odd systems as he struggled to find a winning team. I seem to remember he played Dennis Wise as a right wing-back in that game, and we were collectively awful.

We then hopped over the street to visit “All Bar One”, the most modern of the pubs that were on the list, and probably the least enjoyable.

Next up, a minute walk to “Theodore Bullfrog” and I was so pleased to be able to tell the lads that Frome Town were winning 3-1 at promotion rivals Winchester City. I highlighted this game as the most difficult that we would face all season. The beer in this pub tasted all the sweeter.

By this time, a few folks had spotted our travels on “Facebook” and had suggested a couple of pubs that were not originally on my list.

Pub number six was “The Harp”, possibly my favourite of the new pubs, a cosy – but packed – boozer that oozed charm. It was now 4.30pm, Frome were still 3-1 up, and the beers continued to flow.

Next up, another unplanned pub, “The Marquis”, which was virtually next-door to the previous gaff, and another packed and cosy boozer, with lots of musical references around the bar; posters, props, artifacts, etc.

I asked a woman to take our photo of us in the bar.

I checked the photograph; it was a cracker and told her “You have the job. Welcome to MI5. We will see you on Monday.”

The last pub, number eight, was “The Nell Gwynne” and we had been joined by Small Bobby. He had played a game of football at 2pm and was keen to join us before heading over to the Chelsea match. We reached here at about 5.15pm and decided to make this the last call of the evening. It had been single drinks in all the others, but we stayed for three in this one, eleven all told, but I mixed some pints with some bottles to remain as lucid as possible. Stop laughing at the back. We found ourselves next to three women “of a certain age” who were – unfortunately for them, and us – Tottenham fans, but it didn’t spoil the evening.

In total, the eight pubs were covered in just twelve minutes of walking time. The first five were south of The Strand, the final three were north of The Strand.

It had been a blast.

We left there at about 6.30pm, and we all decided that catching an Uber was probably the best bet as it saved scurrying around the steps and escalators of various underground and mainline stations en route to The Valley.

While in the uber as it set off towards the Tower of London, past Canary Wharf and Poplar, then under The Thames, I spotted a quote on “Facebook” by ex-Leeds United manager Marcelo Bielsa that hit a chord.

I am not one for sharing too much that isn’t my own stuff on “Facebook” but I did so on this occasion.

Here it is :

“I am certain that football is in a process of decline. More and more people are watching the sport, but it is becoming less and less attractive. There are fewer and fewer footballers worth watching, and the game is less and less enjoyable.”

This mirrors my thoughts, and many that can compare the far less regulated styles of football in the past to the robotic “keep ball” of today, and it elicited a decent number of responses.

The conclusion?

It’s a drug, this football lark, and I commented that I am too old and too stupid to give it up.

My name is Chris, and I am a Chelsea addict.

Like many who were assembling at The Valley, no doubt.

The Uber ride took exactly an hour, and we were dropped off a few hundred yards away from the entrance to The Valley on Floyd Road. As I have only visited it twice before, and the last time was almost a quarter of a century ago, the approach wasn’t too familiar. As we reached the bottom of the incline, I found myself walking right in the middle of a mob of baying Charlton fans, and then within seconds an equally boisterous mob of Chelsea. There was a bit of a ruckus, but not much to get excited about.

With the stadium in view now, I quickly snapped a couple of photos of a chap grafting away and selling the hated “friendship scarves.”

“Half-Man, Half-Trinket, the face of shame.”

It was reassuring to see many old school faces queuing up to get inside. I guessed that absence made our cumulative hearts grow fonder and this was why we flocked to The Valley once more.

I was inside at 7.45pm and quickly found my seat…er position. Halfway through the first half, I realised that Glenn was two rows in front of me. 3,300 Chelsea were in the Jimmy Seed Stand and we were just a few feet apart. What were the chances?

The evening was already getting colder, and I was beginning to regret not wearing a warmer coat. But it’s always a balancing act when we dive in and out of pubs. I weighed up the options and plumped for being comfortable in a pub for six hours and cold at the football for two hours rather than too warm for six and toasty for two.

There was the usual modern-day nonsense of lights being dipped, flumes of smoke, and the home fans added to this silliness by going all “Spursy” by holding their phone torches above their heads, the loons.

Liam Rosenior was in charge for his first game, and we had touched upon our thoughts of him in the first pub or two. He seems an articulate so-and-so, and confident, and of course we wish him well.

His first Chelsea team?

Jorgensen

Acheampong – Tosin – Badiashile – Hato

Santos – Caicedo

Gittens – Buonanotte – Garnacho

Guiu

The game began and it seemed unreal that I was back at The Valley after a gap of over twenty-three years. In 2002, we won 3-2 on a hot and sultry August afternoon with a late goal from Frank Lampard but the weather was so different on this occasion. We attacked what used to be called “The Covered End” and a cross from Jamie Gittens on the right was soon claimed by the Charlton ‘keeper Will Mannion.

It seemed very much like we were playing the same way as before in the opening few minutes; I guess it’s difficult to change to a new style immediately.

There was a medical emergency in the first few rows of the Main Stand, and this held the game up. We really did not need any further hold-ups. God knows what time we would leave the stadium if this tie went to extra-time and penalties. A good guess would be 11pm and God forbid that.

There was a lovely Facundo Buonanotte lofted chip for James Gittens but his header was easily saved. We enjoyed a flurry of corners without testing their ‘keeper and then on eighteen minutes, Andrey Santos did not connect well with a shot, and it spun wide.

Halfway through the half, I could not help but chastise the players for absolutely no movement off the ball.

“You’d think the buggers would want to run around a bit in this cold weather, eh?”

I spotted that the bloke behind me had been behind me at Fulham too and I said to him “you would not invite a friend to watch this dull shite.”

A thunderous strike from Acheampong was well saved by their ‘keeper.

On the half-hour mark, a ridiculously high shot screamed over the bar, and this led to the first-ever time – I am sure – that the infamous “FCUKING USELESS” chant was directed at our own team and not after a shocking piece of play by the opposition.

Yes, we had sunk this low, and it brought back memories of when Ranieri was given a terrible verbal onslaught at The Valley way back in 2000.

The build-up continued to take forever, such is the way of football in the second quarter of the twenty-first century. This slow and meticulous “pass, pass, pass” style of play has blighted the game for years now, and it makes many – including Marcelo Bielsa no doubt – question the sanity of it all.

It feels to me that this is a mode of football that has been spawned by AI. It’s as if every game of football ever played has been processed through a series of huge computers the size of the Maracana and the boffins have observed that the most effective way to play is to relentlessly pass the ball across the pitch until the defending team momentarily loses concentration, or the will to live, until the ball is pushed home from eight yards.

No thrills, no imagination, no skills, no entertaining dribbles, no one-on-ones, no crunching tackles, no variation. Just a grim grinding of gears as players go through set patterns of play that have been practised on training pitches for hours on end.

I don’t know what Cloughie would make of it all.

Football is now like a car journey, planned meticulously by Sat Nav where the only concern is fuel economy and not the scenery. It’s like travelling from Bristol to Birmingham and keeping to the greyness and monotony of the M5 motorway and avoiding the beautiful Cotswolds, the picturesque villages and market towns, the sweeping views of the Severn Vale and the patchwork of fields with stone walls and hedgerows.

On thirty-three minutes we played the ball back to Jorgensen and the Chelsea faithful clapped sarcastically.

Then, a loud burst from us.

“ATTACK! ATTACK! – ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!”

I pleaded for someone to drop a shoulder. For somebody to do something.

On forty-four minutes, a Garnacho shot was blocked.

The play was so poor. I wanted the players to be less conservative, to take a chance.

In the fourth minute of injury time, a cross from our left was aimed at Marc Guiu who headed the ball back to where Jorrel Hato was stood. The ball bounced once and the left-back smacked it cleanly into the roof of the net.

Get in, thank the Lord.

We were ahead, just.

Half-time was reached.

A friend texted me to say that we had enjoyed – if that is the correct word – seventy-eight percent possession in that first-half.

Five minutes into the second half, down below me, Bounanotte lashed a great free-kick towards the near post and Tosin speared the ball in via a fine glancing header.

Not long after, a confident run from Alejandro Garnacho was followed by a cheeky curler that just went wide of the far post.

On fifty-five minutes, Charlton enjoyed their best chance thus far and the ball went off for a corner. From the resulting kick, Jorgensen did ever so well to pat away a header, but the rebound was crashed home by Miles Leaburn, who is the son of former Charlton striker Carl Leaburn.

Another name from that haunted 1987/88 season. After Leroy Rosenior scored against us at West Ham – as mentioned in my last report – we played Charlton at home and Carl Leaburn was in their team who equalised in the ninetieth minute, forcing us into the play-offs.

Red and white smoke bombs rained down from a corner of the home end. I spotted a Charlton flag in that corner that featured their “Addicks” nickname, one of the oddest in our professional game. The story behind it is very fishy.

On sixty-two minutes, Garnacho dribbled in and set up Buonanotte. His shot was weakly parried and Guiu slotted home. I captured his celebrations with my pub camera.

On sixty-six minutes, Estevao replaced Gittens and the away choir sang his Samba song.

Bloody hell it was cold.

On sixty-nine minutes, more changes.

Liam Delap for Guiu.

Enzo Fernandez for Buonanotte.

Five minutes later we kept warm by sing a loud “One man went to mow” and Estevao cut in but his shot was finger-tipped over.

Estevao added a little pizazz to the game and set up Enzo and Delap before again threatening Mannion with another shot.

Then the fog hit us, and the place became greyer and greyer.

And colder and colder.

Fackinell.

On eighty-five minutes, more changes.

Wesley Fofana for Hato.

Pedro Neto for Garnacho.

A shot from Enzo, high and wide. Then in the first minute of injury time, the Argentinian World cup winner sped forward and passed to Neto. He lost his marker and then drilled a low shot in at the near post.

Three minutes later, Mannion fell at the feet of Estevao after another lively incursion, and the referee pointed at the spot.

Enzo smashed it home. It was the last kick of the game.

Charlton Athletic 1 Chelsea 5.

The players came over to thank us for our support on this cold and foggy night.

We soon serenaded the new manager.

“Liam! Liam! Liam! Liam!”

Job done, can we go home now?

Actually, no we couldn’t. For some reason that was never fully explained, the police kept us penned in on the crowded road that connected the exit of the away end to Floyd Road for around forty minutes, with all of us getting colder and colder by the minute. We were towards the back, so just stepped away from the mob, but tempers were rising as the sirens wailed, the lights flashed and the night drew on.

Eventually we slowly walked to the top of Floyd Road, sadly managed to avoid finding the Uber driver I had booked – and he managed to avoid us too – and so we eventually caught a train back to London Bridge at around 11pm or so.

We gobbled down some bloody awful “McDonalds” burgers under the station’s arches and then took a beautifully warm Uber at midnight that took us through South London, over the Thames at Lambeth, then close to the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament and eventually down the Kings Road to Fulham. We reached our base at 12.30am.

Sleep!

Next up, a League Cup semi-final at home to Arsenal.

Bernie Slaven’s son doesn’t play for them, does he?

Let’s All Go Down The Strand

Up For The Cup

Tales From Deepest SW6

Posted on January 10, 2026 by Chris Axon

Fulham vs. Chelsea : 7 January 2026.

This match at Craven Cottage would be the first of six consecutive games in London, and for this I was truly thankful. There have been some long hauls over the past month or so, including Leeds, Newcastle and Manchester, and I was looking forward to this spell in the capital.

These games are coming quickly in the month of January, and the club will play a total of nine matches this month.

On the Monday after the game at the Etihad, the club interviewed Liam Rosenior, and on the Tuesday morning it was announced that the former Fulham player who was in charge at our sister club Strasbourg would be unsurprisingly joining us. The length of the contract, of six years, baffled me, but much of modern football leaves me baffled so I tried not to dwell too much on it.

Liam Rosenior, then.

I remembered him from his time at Fulham, but struggled with his spells at other clubs. My first ever game at Craven Cottage with Chelsea was in the 2004/5 season and I quickly checked to see if our new manager was playing on that day over twenty-one years ago. In fact, he was a non-playing substitute. As an aside, I really enjoyed that match, with Arjen Robben on fire, and we won it 4-1. I chuckled when I realised that I recognised virtually all the Fulham team that day. The surnames were listed and I quickly barked out their first names.

Mark Crossley

Moritz Volz

Zat Knight

Zesh Rehman

Carlos Bocanegra

Steed Malbranque

Mark Pembridge

Papa Bouba Diop

Luis Boa Morte

Tomas Radzinski

Andrew Cole

The only two I struggled naming were Carlos Bocanegra and Andrew Cole; I thought it was Andy. Of course, these days I would bloody struggle to name many of the Fulham team’s first names. Sigh.

Anyway, enough of this shite.

Welcome to Chelsea Football Club, Liam Rosenior.

Best wishes for a long and successful career on the Fulham Road.

…stop sniggering at the back.

Incidentally, I used to feel haunted every time that I heard the Rosenior name, including when Liam first came to my attention when he played for the local Bristol City team in 2002. You see, dear reader, his father Leroy played – and scored – against us in a 1-4 defeat at Upton Park on a Bank Holiday Monday in May 1988. That defeat effectively consigned us to a play-off position in a fight to avoid relegation that season. And we all know how that worked out.

In twenty years’, time, I hope that the name Rosenior doesn’t haunt me further.

I worked an early shift and collected PD and Parky at 2pm. I updated the lads on Frome Town’s fine win at Bishops Cleeve the previous night. I fuelled up at Reading Services, and enjoyed a good run in. I dropped them off at “The Eight Bells” at just before 4.30pm.

After parking up at 5pm on Gowan Avenue, I trotted the fifteen minutes down the Fulham High Street to meet up with the lads. A group of five slow-moving Fulham fans were in my way and I sped past them. I hoped it was a metaphor for the evening’s match. I peered into “The Golden Lion” with its “Home Fans Only” sign, then crossed the great divide as I passed “The Kings Arms” and “The Temperance” – away fans – and approached “The Eight Bells” with its “Only Away Fans” sign.

At 5.15pm, I was in, and shot round to join up with PD, LP, Salisbury Steve, Jimmy the Greek and Texas Aleksey. I stayed about an hour, and it was lovely to see so many other Chelsea faces appear in our local. It seemed like we were having a little party in the front room of our house and word had got out. It was splendid.

I found it funny that Scott, Gerry, Martin and I were last together in a bar outside Yankee Stadium in the South Bronx in July, and here were all were again in a pub near Craven Cottage in South Fulham in January.

Things, sadly, would take a turn for the worst.

My friend Chris in North Carolina – formerly of Windsor – messaged me at 5.45pm to inform me that a mutual friend, Mick Collins, had passed away after heart surgery the previous night. I was shocked and stunned. I first met Mick, who retired a few years ago, in Chicago in 2006 for our game against the MLS All-Stars, and our paths would cross on many occasions, in the US and in England. He was a lovely man and will be sorely missed.

RIP Mick Collins.

This was the last of Texas Aleksey’s run of games on his trip and this would be his inaugural visit to Craven Cottage. We all left the pub within a few minutes of each other, but while Jimmy walked ahead with PD and LP, I wandered through the park with Aleksey. It was a bitterly cold night alongside the River Thames.

I took a few photos outside the familiar red brick frontage on Stevenage Road.

I was in at 7.15pm.

Such is the benign nature of Fulham’s support, that it is only at Craven Cottage where home and away fans can walk side-by-side once through the turnstiles and inside the concourse behind the stand.

Very Fulhamish.

However, I wasn’t impressed with my view; although I am an away season ticket holder, I was right down by the corner flag alongside the lower tier of the Riverside Stand.

This little area is full of tourists – It’s easy to tell – and I wondered which ones I would become fixated upon as they looked across at the travelling support, open-mouthed, at the volume and humour of our support. It’s a game I always play at Craven Cottage if I am towards that stand.

Of course, it was the Tyrique George chant that got us all energised last season, and I wondered if the youngster might be included in the squad to act as a catalyst for noise if no other reason.

Well, no. He wasn’t even on the bench.

With Liam Rosenoir watching in the stands, Calum McFarlane took charge for his second game and chose this team :

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto

Trevoh Chalobah

Tosin Adaradioyo

Marc Cucurella

Andrey Santos

Moises Caicedo

Pedro Neto

Enzo Fernandez

Cole Palmer

Liam Delap

So, Enzo in the hole and Cole out wide. I suspected some abuse from the home fans for Tosin.

Was it just me, or did others feel like we would be treading water in this game as we waited for the new man to take over? I expected a hard game against Fulham and predicted a tight 1-1 draw.

Pre-match, some flames flew up into the sky in front of the Riverside Stand while the PA played what sounded like an ACDC song. What could be further from Fulham than ACDC? I think a song by the Brotherhood of Man would have been more fitting. The players marched across the pitch from the cottage, and yet more flames and fireworks zipped up into the cold black sky. The bloke on the PA was even more “shouty” than our dickhead at Stamford Bridge.

Fackinell.

Fulham play in an all-white kit these days, so it was a nice-and-simple whites vs. blues battle on this evening in deepest SW6. The home team attacked us in the Putney End in the first half, and they engineered a shot on goal in the very first minute when Harry Wilson shot low at goal, but Robert Sanchez saved easily.

Just after, the first of many Roman Abramovich chants got going in the away section of the stadium.

Then, the usual chants for players who were not on the pitch, what an odd custom.

I barked out “It’s Salomon.”

In the first fifteen minutes, we dominated possession but with no real effort on goal.

Then, as we neared the twenty-minute mark, two corners on our left in front of the Hammersmith End from Enzo caused a few problems for Bernd Leno. After the ‘keeper clawed at the ball to save it from reaching Liam Delap, another corner swung in and he watched as an Andrey Santos header hit the bar. Another corner was not so problematic and went behind for a goal-kick. With Chelsea having camped out in the Fulham box for a few minutes, Leno spotted a one-on-one and smashed a long ball forward towards Wilson. He was in a simple battle, a running duel, with Cucurella who had been his usual combative self in the opening quarter of the match. To our horror, Cucurella pulled at an arm and Wilson went down.

It was on the edge of the box, and Cucurella was the last man. We were rather unsighted, but the referee gave a straight red. Phone messages arrived to say the same thing.

“Stupid defending. Definite red.”

Thankfully, a VAR check denied Fulham a penalty. Wilson only hit the wall with the free kick.

Calum McFarlane replaced Santos with Jorrel Hato, who slotted into left-back.

Fulham then penned us in for the next period of the game. They dominated possession but didn’t really hurt us.

On thirty-five minutes, more Roman Abramovich chants, quickly followed by one demanding that Eghbali went forth and multiplied.

The mood was getting fractious in the Putney End.

On forty minutes, a decent break involving the hard-working Delap and Enzo, but a tepid shot from Palmer at Leno.

The game deteriorated and I pondered how truly awful the Fulham badge truly is. It sits there atop the gable of the old Leitch stand, now the Johnny Haynes Stand – an exact replica of our old East Stand – and I just shook my head. It looks like it was designed by an eight-year-old in a school detention.

A Fulham effort from Emil Smith-Rowe flew over the bar.

Six minutes of injury time were signalled.

Fulham put the ball in our net via Wilson, but Raul Jiminez looked offside to everyone around us. The Fulham fans roared as the players raced away, and after what seemed like ninety seconds, a VAR sign was flashed up on the screens. Why it took so long I will never know. It seemed to an increasingly cynical me that they waited for the Fulham players to finish celebrating – “great TV, let’s not spoil that” – before VAR was signalled.

All part of the modern football experience, all bloody shite.

Thankfully, VAR ruled offside.

Phew.

Being so low down – the bottom fifteen rows have a shallow rake – I couldn’t get many decent photos at all. As Chelsea attacked us in the second half, I hoped for an improvement.

In the first minute of the second period, a break and Pedro Neto fired over. Just after, a daisy-cutter from Wilson was deflected wide of Sanchez’ goal for a corner. Enzo sent in a corner, but Hato’s header was glanced over.

I found myself momentarily checking some scores – “United losing, Tottenham losing” – and looked up to see a Jiminez leap, alone, that resulted in his header nestling into the corner of the goal.

Fackinell.

Fifty-five minutes had elapsed.

I liked the way that our support responded with the loudest chant of the night from us.

“And it’s super Chelsea.

Super Chelsea FC.

We’re by far the greatest team.

The world has ever seen.”

Well, in New Jersey in July maybe, perhaps not in Fulham in January.

A Fulham shot whipped past Sanchez’ left post. Many home fans presumed it was in. Thankfully, the side netting rippled from the outside only.

On the hour, more Roman Abramovich chants.

And then the other one.

“Fcuk off Eghbali, fuck off Eghbali.”

A pass from deep from Tosin, and Palmer intelligently stepped over it and allowed it to run to Delap who cantered away at the Fulham goal. The young striker went for placement and not power, but Leno got an arm to it and a covering defender headed away.

I want to see more early balls to Delap for him to run onto; surely it is his strength?

Then, the chant of the night, perhaps of the season, or at least the recent weeks.

Zeitgeist at Fulham.

“We don’t care about Clearlake.

They don’t care about us.

All we care about is Chelsea FC.”

On sixty-five, Reece James replaced Enzo who, apart from those flighted corners, had done little.

Then another chant aimed at Clearlake but one man in particular.

“You’re not wanted here.

You’re not wanted here.

Fcuk off Eghbali.

You’re not wanted here.”

A low shot from Moises Caicedo, who himself had been unusually quiet thus far.

From right in front of me, no more than twenty feet away, Neto – minus ‘tache these days – floated in a near-post header. Under pressure from the leaping Gusto, Antonee Robinson could only flick the ball on, and it smacked against the far post. I could not see a jot, but I saw the reactions to a Delap goal.

GET IN YOU FCUKER.

I tried to take some worthwhile photos of the players celebrating but only really succeeded in snapping us fans.

We’re the important ones anyway, right?

It was 1-1, my prediction on the night.

On seventy-five minutes, Josh Acheampong for Gusto and Joao Pedro for Palmer. Unfortunately, Cole had struggled and didn’t look his old self. He seemed frustrated too, which is clearly not a good sign.

Of the two teams, it was Fulham who then upped their challenge, and we had to resort to some desperate defending, hacking away balls, blocking shots and throwing bodies at crosses. There was one absolutely magnificent “star fish” jump from Sanchez that foiled an effort from close in.

“There’s only one Robert Sanchez.

One Robert Sanchez.

He used to be shite.

But now he’s alright.

Walking in a Sanchez Wonderland.”

This was tense stuff now.

On eighty-one minutes, Sanchez dropped quickly to save well from Smith-Rowe but the rebound fell nicely for Wilson, who had been a threat all night, and he shot low past Sanchez.

I screamed “OH NO.”

Bollocks.

Interestingly, I looked over to my left to the tourist section and only a very small proportion of the one hundred or so fans closest to me were up and celebrating.

Were many of them Chelsea supporters?

Maybe, but perhaps unlikely.

I suspect most just happened to be in London and fancied a game of football to add to their list of boxes to tick. A Premier League game these days sits right alongside a Harry Potter studio tour, a coach trip to Stonehenge, a visit to Harrods and a plate of fish and chips.

£150 or more later, they sat in stoney silence and perhaps wondered what all the fuss was about.

Nine minutes of normal time and four minutes of injury time did not result in any worthwhile Chelsea effort on the Fulham goal.

This ended as a 1-2 loss.

It was Fulham’s third win against us in the past eight encounters after being winless in the previous twenty-one games.

For a club that has never won a major honour in one hundred-and-forty-seven years, this might be the nearest they come to anything worthwhile.

Bless’em.

As I made my way up the steps at the Putney End, and out into the concourse, the PA system played “Good Times” by Chic and I mouthed an obscenity.

One Chelsea lad barked “the Fulham lot are buzzing. One of them has cracked open a cheeseboard” and I had to smile.

I raced off to collect my car from Gowan Avenue and soon picked up my two mates on Findlay Road. We were soon on our way. I reached home at 12.45pm, a relatively early finish compared to recent trips.

It was a weak performance and nobody except Sanchez really shone. The reason for this malaise? Who bloody knows? We are, as ever, a confusing club and a confused club, and I can churn out the usual platitudes about hoping that the new manager can sort everything out, but he is untested at this level and will find himself under huge pressure if things do not go as Clearlake wish.

I wish him well, but…

Our next match is against Charlton Athletic in the FA Cup Third Round on Saturday, one of the great days in the football calendar. It will be my first visit to The Valley since the opening day of 2002/3.

I’ll see some of you there.

HOME AND AWAY