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Tales From The Woolwich Wanderers

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Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 6 September 2026.

After a hectic spell of six games – three blue, three red – in ten days, I enjoyed a brief period of rest during the week. However, ahead of Chelsea’s away game at Arsenal, I originally planned to follow my hometown team Frome Town in their quest to advance in the FA Cup on the Saturday at Falmouth Town in deepest Cornwall. However, on the Friday, the thought of covering almost six-hundred miles over the weekend fried my brain. I took the decision to abandon the expedition to Falmouth and thus concentrate on my first love; Chelsea Football Club.

I rested on Saturday but was buoyed by the news that despite conceding an early goal, Dodge came back to claim a 4-2 victory. I experienced no regrets in missing this match. I would be fresh for Sunday.

On the Sunday morning, I spent a small amount of time dipping into the personal histories of the two managers who would be locking horns at The Emirates later in the day. As youngsters, Xabi Alonso and Miguel Arteta played for the same football club, Antiguoko, in San Sebastian, and both dreamed of playing for Real Socidead. Born a few months apart, they went on to cross swords playing for the two teams on Merseyside but never played together at their favoured Real Sociedad. How strange that they would now meet as managers of London’s two giants.

This would be a real test for Alonso’s fledgling team.

I pulled out of my drive at 10.30am and set off for a very rare solo trip to London. PD really suffered with the walk from the stadium down to Highbury & Islington last season, so decided he would not be attending this one. Parky decided against it too. They would be back with me again for the Leeds United League Cup game on the following Wednesday.

I chose the southerly route to London, across Salisbury Plain, past Stonehenge, and onto the A303, then the M3, joining the slow-moving traffic on the M25, before hitting the more familiar route in via the M4 and the A4. I took a familiar right-turn onto the North End Road, and I was soon parked up where Rylston Road met Dawes Road. It was 2pm.

I again dipped in to “Walham Green” for a quick drink, but my travel plans took a jolt when I saw that Fulham Broadway was closed. So, I hopped on a bus and commenced my trans-London commute at Earl’s Court on the Picadilly Line that quickly connects the football clubs of Chelsea and Arsenal and the boroughs of Hammersmith and Fulham and Islington.

The train was full of Arsenal supporters of course.

I could not help noticing a chap who was sat across the way from me. He was around thirty-five, was wearing an Arsenal replica shirt, but also a black baseball cap with Mickey Mouse on the front and a Disneyland Paris logo on the back.

Oh boy.

Too many punchlines, not enough time.

As I hurtled north, Xabi Alonso’s choice of starters came through.

I couldn’t easily work out the formation.

Emi Martinez

Josh Acheampong

Maxence Lacroix

Wesley Fofana

Jorrel Hato

Reece James

Romeo Lavia

Pedro Neto

Cole Palmer

Morgan Rogers

Joao Pedro

Maybe it would all make sense once the players lined up at the kick-off.

It only took thirty minutes to reach the rabbit warren that is Arsenal tube. I immediately met up with Emma from Bridgwater in Somerset.

“Going to be a tough one, this.”

We edged up the incline to street level, and the bright sunshine was a contrast to the tube interior. I had recently spotted some evocative photos from an Arsenal vs. Chelsea match at Highbury in August 1971. A few images illustrated the colourful scene on Gillespie Road – rosettes, scarves, supporters – which is where I now stood. I wanted to replicate these, fifty-five years later. I took some photos with my phone. No SLR on this day.

I bumped into Andy and Graham from Glasgow who had flown down to London that morning.

Chelsea supporters streamed out of the tube station sing “Viva Gabriel” and the home supporters seemed to look away.

I could not resist an opportune photo of the first four letters of “Arsenal” near the Danny Fiszman Bridge over the railway lines and I shared it on “Facebook” with my comment:

“Right Up Them.”

I made my way towards the away turnstiles and spotted a large mural on a section of the stadium exterior that stated “Opportunity. Greatness.”

It sounded like a David Brent soundbite from one of the very first scenes of “The Office.”

“If a good man comes to me and says, ‘thank you for the opportunity and continued support in the work-related arena’…

“I can make it come true, a.k.a, to you… “you talk the talk, but you don’t walk the walk, vis a vis you have not yet won the European Cup.”

I was inside at bang on 4pm; it had been a relaxing day thus far, the timings were decent, but now it was starting to get a little serious. I aimed for block 20, along the side this season, rather than my usual perch near the corner flag.

Who should be walking up the aisle steps but my good mate Foxy from Dundee, who often shows up, unannounced, at various locations. It was a great pleasure to chat to him for a while.

I then spotted my awayday companion John, and I sidled past a few familiar faces – “going to be a hard game” – in the seventh row and soon realised that my seat, number 591, was right next to the slender gap of around four feet between the away supporters and the home fans.

“Oh great.”

They were going to be in my right earhole all afternoon.

Sigh.

When the Chelsea players trotted over to clap the away supporters, I noticed a chap in the second row of the home section to my right, just a few yards away, applauding the players. This surprised me. It also surprised an agitated Arsenal supporter who was right next to him in the front row. I saw him mouth the words “why are you clapping?”

And I understood this completely. It’s an obscenity to see this in home areas. The guy looked flummoxed and from his body language he appeared to gesture to the entire stadium as if to say, “I am just looking forward to the game.”

I wasn’t convinced and neither was the Arsenal chap.

A while later, I saw this bloke – he looked like a tourist, for sure – getting a selfie with the “Gunnersaurus” Arsenal mascot; blimey, another faux pas.

This bloke was making a right dick of himself.

I had to laugh that many inflatable European Cups had again found their way into the away end and were poised to be hoisted towards the Arsenal support, including that odd little knot of around two-hundred black-clad Ashburton Ultras behind the Clock End goal, at key moments during the afternoon.

Gary arrived and stood next to John. None of us were confident of a result.

The pre-game routines continued.

Arsenal is one of a few London clubs that dig out “London Calling” to play before the teams enter the pitch. I am not sure why they can lay claim to it. Joe Strummer, the lead singer of The Clash was a Chelsea fan by all accounts, and Fulham certainly live by the river.

Arsenal?

Who knows?

There is a river down at Woolwich, mind.

Last season, I started calling Arsenal – among many other, nastier, things – the Woolwich Wanderers and it seemed apt.

I couldn’t believe the abundance of various replica shirts being worn by the home supporters to my right. I know I always mention it a few times each season, but Chelsea – in the main – don’t tend to wear club colours in the same way as many other teams. Arsenal, though, lead the list. Is this the same club that many fans of other clubs heralded as the best dressed in London in the early ‘eighties when a new way of doing everything took hold? It was hard to believe.

I wondered that with all these man-made fibres being concentrated in such a tight proximity, it might represent a fire hazard should they get overly excited and start hugging each other; perish that thought.

As the teams came out from the tunnel, flames flew up into the air in front of us all, and I dreaded one spark heading towards the red hordes to my right.

Thankfully, the moment passed.

With a minute or so before the kick-off, “North London Forever” was bellowed out by the Arsenal devotees, and I refer everyone to my Woolwich comment earlier.

“Not exactly forever, is it?”

With two wins for both teams in the nascent Premier League thus far, the match kicked off with Chelsea, as usual at this venue, playing left-to-right and defending the Clock End.

I took an early photo and joked to John that I had at least one photo when it was 0-0.

Well, the joke was on me.

A floated free-kick from Reece James, central-left, and a little bit of head tennis. The ball fell conveniently to Morgan Rogers on the edge of the box. A fine stab at goal, and the net rippled. David Raya seemed to drop late.

We were 1-0 up.

Just over a minute had been played.

Bloody hell.

Pandemonium in the South Stand.

I may or may not have glanced, fists clenched, towards the nylon and polyester to my right.

I soon spotted that matey boy in the second row was being escorted out by a couple of stewards. What a silly boy. He obviously celebrated the Chelsea goal. At least he left with a selfie of him with the Arsenal mascot.

We could hardly believe it of course, and I suspect many among the three thousand must have thought “we have scored too soon.”

Arsenal, unsurprisingly, came at us, and I attempted to fathom out our formation, but being so low it was not always easy. There was an almighty scramble in our six-yard area, with bodies and limbs crunching against each other, but Martinez – returning to his former home – managed to bravely scoop the ball out for a corner. He went down and a few text messages later in the day would suggest that he had been the recipient of a boot to the head.

Bodies crunching and limbs flailing in opponents’ six-yard boxes seem to be an accepted way of playing the Arsenal way these days, and it isn’t pretty. It reminds me of the slapping that goes on during New Order’s “True Faith” video. Or Reeves and Mortimer with their frying pans.

On twelve minutes, another Arsenal free-kick out on the right, and a low delivery into the box. There was an inevitable scramble, and the ball bobbled in and around the six-yard box for what seemed like an eternity. The ball was eventually prodded in. The goons to my right erupted.

Fackinell.

But then, the TV screen signalled “VAR – possible offside” and there was hope. The goal was indeed chalked off, though you still won’t catch me cheering a VAR decision.

Chelsea, attacking with greater intent than which we are familiar, hit back with a few efforts. A shot from Cole Palmer was straight at Raya. The same player was then involved and played a ball into the far post but missed everyone. There was a blaster from Reece that was well saved.

At the other end, a formidable block by Reece from an Arsenal effort on goal. A fine tackle by Hato at the right moment, too. Attacks were mounting up, with pace, from both sides and the game was pulsating now.

On twenty-five minutes, the ball was played to the lanky German misery Havertz, and we watched as he cut inside and despatched a low strike on goal. Alas, it crept in at the near post.

Bollocks.

The Arsenal lot to my right erupted but nobody caught fire.

I think Havertz thought about trotting over to goad us but decided against it.

So, 1-1, and twenty minutes to the break.

Arsenal’s number seventeen Christos Tzolis – he has adopted Brian Marwood’s haircut in some sort of odd homage to the former Arsenal player – was involved in front of us and looked useful. Again, I was surprised how deep Declan Rice was playing. I still have nightmares thinking of how he turned to us and fist-pumped after a delivering a corner that led to a goal last season.

On forty minutes, we had tons of possession in the Arsenal third, but it all ended up with a tame cross from Pedro Neto into the ‘keeper’s hands.

Just after, a terrible free kick from Reece missed the frame of the goal by some margin.

Neto made use of acres of open space out on our right on a few occasions in the first half, and on forty-six minutes he raced forward to collect a great ball from Joao Pedro, and edged inside, but avoided playing the ball others, and hit the base of the far post. A follow-up cross from Reece was lofted wide.

It was 1-1 at the break. A quick synopsis? Decent going forward, over-run in midfield, our defence often collapsed back too many yards when they attacked us. The noise within the away section hadn’t been great, but the home support was hardly noisy either. It had been a decent game thus far, though.

The second half began, but after just five minutes, Brian Marwood played the ball into the box, Havertz dummied and the ball reached Martin Odegaard. His shot was central and flew past Martinez.

Sigh.

Immediately, the Arsenal lot were noisy as hell.

And this was hell.

Especially being just four feet away.

The stolen-from-Liverpool “Allez allez allez” chant was aired and after that died down, they started “Champions of England – we know what we are.”

I thought to myself :

“How Chelsea 2012.”

Chelsea had to attack, as defensively we didn’t seem assured. Rogers broke away in front of me, and there was a one versus one chase against Gabriel. The Arsenal defender’s sliding tackle was so good that it hurt me to witness it.

Alonso turned to the bench.

On the hour, Pep Chavarria for Hato and Malo Gusto for Lavia.

We now had two right full backs in the midfield duo. Without Moises Caicedo – and now with no Enzo Fernandez – we look rather deficient in that key area.

There was a Palmer shot straight at Raya.

Soon after, an effort from Rogers went high above the bar.

We kept the pressure up; we had much of the ball in the final fifteen minutes, and we kept willing the team on.

“COME ON CHELS.”

Then, at the other end, a fine save from Martinez foiled Bukayo Saka, a diving sprawl to his right.

Another substitution on eighty-one minutes.

Estevao for Neto.

Just after, a break from Palmer but the ball flew over.

This was becoming a pattern.

On eighty-seven minutes, Danny Welbeck replaced Rogers.

Remarkably, I kept saying ton Gary and John “I still fancy a late equaliser. A goal in the first minute. Another in the last.”

On eighty-nine minutes, the tricky Brazilian Estevao fooled his way inside his marker and unleashed a wicked shot at goal. Alas, we witnessed a dramatic leap from Raya and a fingertip push over the bar.

Stunning football, but no goal.

Four minutes of injury time were displayed, and although the referee played five, the late equaliser never came. There were glum faces all around me, and I slowly made my way up the shallow steps and out onto the concourse. It seems ages since the last time that we were victorious here; a 2-0 victory in August 2021. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and headed down the slope behind the southern side of the stadium. There was time for one last shot as the sun blitzed against the stadium glass. This slope always reminds me of the exit ramp from the old Shed. I can never remember seeing a photo that exists of that part of Stamford Bridge. I wonder why.

Rather than battle the inevitably slow-moving crowds on the Holloway Road, I hid away in a Chinese restaurant for three-quarters of an hour and let the crowds subside. Fed and watered, and suitably rested, I walked down to the tube station at Highbury Corner and made my way back to Rylston Road.

I bought some coffees for the return trip back to Somerset and set off. I was philosophical about the afternoon’s events. We had shown glimpses of “the new Chelsea” but Arsenal is an obstinate beast, and we didn’t quite have enough to get something out of the game.

I drove on and on, reaching home at 11pm.

Next up, Leeds.

See you there.

Tales From A Day Of Priorities

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Chelsea vs. Manchester City : 12 April 2026.

Let’s start by time-travelling back to last weekend. The Easter Weekend meant four days away from work, and three games of football for me. As far as enthusiasm goes, it is fair to say that that Chelsea’s FA Cup tie with Port Vale was the lesser of the three. On the Good Friday, Frome Town played at Sporting Club Inkberrow with a slight chance of becoming Champions of the Southern League South. The Port Vale game was on the Saturday. And then Frome played host to local rivals Shaftesbury on Bank Holiday Monday. This is not demeaning the importance of the FA Cup – more of that later – but an indication of how excited I was to see my local team so close to becoming Champions.

After last season’s demoralising relegation from the Southern League Premier South, Frome has utterly surpassed expectations and has dominated the division from early on. Going into the home game with Shaftesbury, newly promoted and sniffing a play-off place themselves, my hometown team required just one point to be crowned Champions and thus gain automatic promotion back to Step Three of the non-league pyramid.

A mighty crowd of 1,096 assembled at Badgers Hill on a sunny afternoon and we watched as Dodge went 1-0 up via an audacious lob from David Duru which was a bit like David Speedie’s equaliser against Arsenal in 1985. However, two Shaftesbury goals caused us a spell of anxiety, only for Archie Ferris to poach two goals to clinch a 3-2 win.

There were scenes of elation on the pitch, in the stands and in the clubhouse after the match as fans and players mingled in celebration. Suffice to say, the post-match revelry lasted many hours and there must have been a fair few headaches the following morning.

I include a picture gallery from this Frome game at the end of this piece; it’s not very often Frome Town become Champions of their division after all.

So that was the final chapter in the Easter weekend. Thoughts now turned towards our match with Manchester City at Stamford Bridge on the following Sunday. This would be the first of a Mancunian double-header with United coming down to SW6 the following Saturday.

As game day approached, it seemed that the fate of Chelsea Football Club was not the only thing on our minds. There seemed to be an awful lot of noise surrounding Arsenal and Tottenham. It seemed that all three clubs were wrapped up in an end-of-season debate about priorities, though oddly West Ham were seemingly omitted from all of this conjecture.

Now then, I have never fancied the idea of Arsenal being more successful than us, and the thought of them winning this season’s title has continually made me feel ill. The thought of them winning the Champions League makes me feel even worse. But as this game with City drew near, there were some in our support who actively wanted us to lose, thus enhancing City’s chances of clawing themselves back into the championship race.

This is not for me. I have seen us play over 1,500 times and I have never wanted us to lose a game. Why would I? It’s a preposterous notion.

Legend has it that on the final day of 1997/98, at home to Bolton, some of the support wanted us to lose so we could relegate Everton. Now then, my recollections are not consistent with this at all. I remember some light-hearted booing from a small section of our crowd as we scored a second, thus condemning Bolton to relegation, but nobody was seriously wanting a Chelsea loss that day, surely? Just a few days later we were to play Stuttgart in the ECWC Final. Why would any fan of the club want a defeat on the Sunday before a Cup Final on the Wednesday?

Seeing Tottenham relegated to the second tier for the first time since 1976 is the stuff that dreams are made of, especially if we can relegate them in our last home game of the season. And yet, tied up in this notion of priorities for us in the last part of this season, was a view held by some that seeing Tottenham relegated meant more than a Chelsea FA Cup win, or Champions League qualification.

There were online polls and everything.

Unreal.

Even the thought of polls asking Chelsea fans about the importance of FA Cup wins sends me to a dark place where I solemnly wonder about some of my fellow support.

There’s a side issue here, too, where the importance of us getting CL qualification in a following season has increasingly become a bigger goal among our support than silverware in a current season.

Again, this baffles me.

For someone who supported us from 1971 to 1997 (silverware = zero) I find all this difficult to fathom.

Not prioritising an FA Cup win?

What on Earth would we have thought of that idea in 1997?

Due to the disruption of the train service on this Sunday in London, our pre-match took place in “The Tommy Tucker”, just a few yards from the Fulham Road. Four of us from the West Country – PD, Glenn, Parky and yours truly – were joined by Ollie and Julien from Normandy, and it was grand to see them again. A table was booked for just after midday, and the pub became busier. I noted a few Mancunian accents, but these lads were keeping themselves to themselves and causing no bother. There was a cheer when Sunderland went 1-0 up at home to Tottenham. With West Ham walloping Wolves 4-0 the day before, our rivals from N17 were now entrenched in the relegation zone.

Ho ho ho.

Our game with City didn’t dominate our thoughts, but we were all, I am sure, concerned about the result. I mentioned to PD that I would, no doubt, be looking up at the TV screen during our match, willing the time on, especially if we were doing better than I had hoped.

I was out of the pub with an hour before kick-off, then consumed the worst cheeseburger of the season, and was in at 3.45pm.

Overhead were ominous grey skies surrounding Stamford Bridge, but these were interspersed with sunshine too.

There was a quick chat with Gary and Daryl, fresh from “The Clarence” and we pooh-poohed the idea of wanting us to lose.

“Nah, fack that.”

It took a while for Glenn and PD to join me in The Sleepy, but as kick-off approached, we were together.

Liam Rosenior chose this team (or had this team chosen for him, if the Machiavellian rumours are true…)

Robert Sanchez

Malo Gusto – Wesley Fofana – Jorrel Hato – Marc Cucurella

Andrey Santos – Moises Caicedo

Estevao Willian – Cole Palmer – Pedro Neto

Joao Pedro

Before the game, two Chelsea stalwarts Frank Blunstone and Sylvan Anderton, both ninety-one years of age, appeared on the pitch by the tunnel and they bathed in the applause. Blunstone, a young winger in our first Championship team in 1955, is only one of two players still alive from that team. The other, former Bristol City manager Alan Dicks, is also ninety-one. It is a joy that they are still with us. Anderton played for Chelsea just after that league title win.

City were wearing a light grey kit with vivid lime socks, and I remembered seeing them wearing that combination at Chelsea once before. Those socks were as hideous twenty-odd years ago as they were in 2026.

The game began, and we attacked The Shed. We traded punches in a lively opening few minutes, with a break from Cole Palmer raising a cheer, only for a weak shot to drift past the post. Within the first ten minutes, an effort from Joao Pedro and another from Palmer gave us all a much-needed boost.

“Ten minutes, Paul.”

City looked to attack down our right as often as they could and Jeremy Doku was often involved. Malo Gusto was a reliable shield in those opening moments.

“Fifteen minutes, Paul.”

Just after, a beautiful run into space from Joao Pedro caused City grief, and I urged him to play in Marc Cucurella, well-advanced. He punched the ball through to the Spaniard, who adeptly scored low past Gianluigi Donnarumma. I was up celebrating, and I immediately loved the roar from my fellow supporters that accompanied the goal. It reassured me that large swathes of the Chelsea support hadn’t lost their minds. However, in a flash, I saw the linesman with his flag raised.

Ugh. Yeah, thought it might be.

“He should have played the ball half a second earlier.”

Bollocks.

We continued in an open game.

“Twenty minutes, Paul.”

As City played in and around our box, looking to penetrate and reach the looming presence of Erling Haaland, I was impressed that we kept our shape and flung bodies in the way of passes and shots. This showed commitment to the cause, something that isn’t always prevalent in our game (and yes, it hurts me to write that…)

There was a rousing “Chelsea – Chelsea – Chelsea – Chelsea” to “Amazing Grace”, the first real show of support; shame it had taken us a full quarter of the match to do so.  

“Twenty-five minutes, Paul.”

We played a smattering of decent football in the City final third. There was a nice move, Palmer to Estevao to Pedro Neto, who came inside and forced a fine low save from Gianluigi Donnarumma. We all enjoyed another piece of skill from Pedro Neto, a sublime Zola-esque twist on the goal-line, so reminiscent of the Sardinian’s humiliation of Jamie Carragher in 2003.

“Thirty minutes, Paul.”

However, City had begun to dominate and there was a great save from a shot by Bernardo Silva from Robert Sanchez, who was roundly applauded by us. Yet, just seconds later, he booted the ball out into the City half, and it landed a good thirty yards from the nearest Chelsea player. The cheers turned to groans.

Robert Sanchez has that knack.

“He used to be shite, he was alright, think he’s back to being shite again” doesn’t really scan, though, does it?

“Thirty-five minutes, Paul” became “forty minutes, Paul.”

I was content with our showing. We hadn’t been out-muscled, or out-played, and had created a few chances. The best chance came right at the end of the half. In the first minute of added time, a Palmer free-kick out on the Chelsea left was swung in and Santos had an unhindered leap at the far post. I caught his header fly over the bar.

Bollocks.

The big question at the break was this :

“Can we play two halves the same?”

For some reason I noticed the mood in the stands at the start of the second period. We had more than held our own in the first half, yet there was no reaction to the players as they reappeared for the second half. Spectators quietly returned to their seats, though a fair few did not bother returning for quite some time, and there was no hint of a cheer or a roar to greet the players. It was all very sedate and all very apathetic. Did I imagine it, or were there times when a similar situation years ago might have resulted in a few roars of support from the Chelsea faithful to create a mood of hostility against a fancied team? I am sure that this sort of practice still exists in the various hotspots of European club football.

Just not in SW6.

It was if the spectators at Stamford Bridge were returning for the second act in a hushed West End theatre.

“Pass the bonbons, dear.”

City, attacking The Shed, began the second period on fire. There was a very early chance for Haaland in the very first minute, then Rayan Cherki screwed a shot wide.

On fifty minutes, Cherki was given time to float a cross towards the six-yard box and Nico O’Reilly rose to glance a header down and past Sanchez.

The City mob celebrated, we slumped in our seats.

Soon after, the City supporters roared.

“WE’RE NOT REALLY HERE.”

Just after, a shot from Antoine Semenyo – a great addition to their team – was deflected wide by Cucurella.

“BLUE MOON, YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE.”

I spoke to PD : “could be a long half.”

Wesley Fofana then managed to backtrack and head off the line and clear.

On fifty-seven minutes, Cherki collected a short corner and ran across the pitch, unhindered, looking for a team mate to hit.

As he ran on, Glenn commentated succinctly.

“Oh shit…oh shit…oh shit…”

His cute pass found Mark Guehi, who tucked the ball low past Sanchez.

Bollocks.

We weren’t in it. There was still half an hour to go. I held my head in my hands.

We conjured up only half-chances. We created only scraps. When needed to be called in to action, Donnarumma dealt with everything.

On sixty-seven minutes, Rosenior made some changes.

Romeo Lavia for Andrey Santos.

Alejandro Garnacho for Estevao.

Yet in the very next minute, Moises Caicedo was pick-pocketed after a pass out from Sanchez, and Doku raced on to score.

The city lot celebrated and soon did their trademark Poznan, though I suspected there was no looking back in anger, only glee.

After the game was lost, we created a few chances.

A ball from Cole Palmer to Joao Pedro was headed wide.

There was a daisy-cutter from Cucurella.

A reactionary save from Donnarumma from Cucurella’s header, close in, denied us a goal.

There were three late changes.

Dario Essugo for Caicedo

Liam Delap for Joao Pedro

Josh Acheampong for Gusto.

There had been a warm ripple of applause for Mateo Kovacic as he entered the pitch from the City bench.

The linesman signalled eight minutes of injury time and we sighed again. I stayed to the final whistle. I must be a masochist.

So, there we have it. Two games from two different levels of the football pyramid. Of course, if I was feeling particularly mean-spirited, I could have called this one something different.

“Tales From Champs And Chumps” anyone?

Sometimes it’s the gallows humour that helps us cope.

It was a long and solemn drive home, and I eventually reached home at about 10pm. When I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t gleefully warmed by us helping City to overtake Arsenal, but depressed because we had been humiliated yet again this season.


CHELSEA VS. MANCHESTER CITY

FROME TOWN VS. SHAFTESBURY

Tales From Arnos Grove And Arsenal

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Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 1 March 2026.

Since we hadn’t been vastly outplayed nor overpowered in the three previous encounters with Arsenal this season, up until the home game with Burnley I was quite gung-ho about our chances in this away game at the Emirates Stadium. Then, the Burnley disaster – relatively speaking – came and went and my hopes took a battering.

I just couldn’t see us getting anything from this game, and many shared this view.

This would be our second visit to Arsenal in a month and, gluttons for punishment that we are, we were on our way once more. This time, Glenn and Parky were able to join in too, and as I drove east, we thinly discussed our chances, though talk was of other topics too.

I chatted a little about Frome Town’s 4-0 walloping of Bideford the previous day; a game in which my local team found the visitors from North Devon to be an obstinate nut to crack. However, a 1-0 lead after just one minute was then increased with three late goals. The gate was a healthy 506, bringing our league average up to 497. Dodge remain fourteen points clear at the top, with just ten games left. It’s obviously bad policy to take promotion for granted, but we are surely only a few more wins away from that. I am trying to get to as many games as possible, and because I have decided not to go to Parc des Princes for the PSG game – many reasons – I have highlighted a trip to Cornwall for a midweek game at Falmouth as a potential replacement. Whisper it, but the other three lads seemed keen too.

We spoke about the day being the twentieth anniversary of the passing of Peter Osgood and we all struggled to take it all in. How can that terrible morning be twenty years ago? We also spoke of the tenth anniversary of The King’s death, and how that coincided with a game at Norwich City. I remember unfurling my Peter Osgood flag at kick-off at that game and being captured fleetingly on the TV feed.

Twenty years ago. Ten years ago. Oh my.

Talking about the passing of time, this would be my twenty-first visit to The Emirates. I rarely miss a match at their new place. Barring a COVID game in 2020/21 and the League Cup game in 2013/14 when we had nine thousand there, I have seen them all.

And – roll on drums – Arsenal have not ended up as League Champions in all those years. Their last Championship was at Highbury in 2003/4.

It has been a very enjoyable time indeed, hasn’t it?

Too bloody right.

Our pre-match for this game took place, once again, in the Arnos Arms at Arnos Grove, just six stops to the north of the Arsenal tube station on the Piccadilly Line. We spent three hours in this large and welcoming hostelry until it was time to take the train south. As we left the pub, both Tottenham and Manchester United were losing.

It only took around fifteen minutes to get to Arsenal.

I took a photo of my four companions – Parky, PD, Jimmy and Glenn – as they slowly marched up the long incline at Arsenal tube. I always love visiting this station as it brings back memories of those visits to Highbury from 1984/85 to 2004/5 to see Chelsea take on our rivals in red and white, not to mention the 1997 FA Cup Semi-Final against Wimbledon. I visited Highbury on nine occasions. I love the hubbub out on Gillespie Road, full of matchday stalls, albeit of the wrong colours, and all the fast-food stalls. It’s a hive of activity. I imagined Ron Harris visiting the old Highbury with his father in the ‘fifties, an Arsenal family in those days. And I remembered my first visit in August 1984; a perfect day.

I decided to veer off and take a little tour of the stadium; an anticlockwise meander, and one that I have only ever done once before. I took a few photos, no surprises there, eh?

It started to rain as I made my way into the away block. There were familiar faces everywhere. In the pub, we had planned our exit strategy. If we were losing by two clear goals on eighty-five minutes, we would meet out by the Herbert Chapman statue. If the game was closer, we would stay ton the end. Getting out was all about causing PD and Parky as little discomfort in walking back to the tube as possible.

I took my position right behind the corner flag in row 2 at about 4pm. I shared a few images with some mates in the US and told them to keep a look out for me.

“North Face mustard, can’t miss me…and that’s my jacket, not my complexion.”

The stadium filled. I was aware that the Arsenal lot were to unfurl a new “tifo” before the game. I think it might have said “Being Second Best Isn’t For Everyone” but as it was paraded obliquely to my right, I couldn’t see it. In the League Cup semi-final, the pre-match was a light show, but on this occasion, it was flames and fireworks, as per.

Then “North London Forever” with the followers of the Woolwich Wanderers holding their thousands of bar scarves above their heads, bless them, the epitome of modern football.

Our team?

Robert Sanchez

Reece James – Trevoh Chalabah – Mamadou Sarr – Jorrel Hato

Andrey Santos – Moises Caicedo

Cole Palmer – Enzo Fernandez – Pedro Neto

Joao Pedro

I was alongside Gary, John and Alan.

“Big game for Sarr, Gal.”

Each team had a pre-match huddle.

For the first time that I can remember, we attacked the Clock End in the first half. We had the best of the first quarter of an hour, but a lone shot from Cole Palmer on five minutes that was sliced high and wide of David Raya’s left-hand post was also unfortunately matched by three instances of worrying distribution from Robert Sanchez up the other end.

I wasn’t sure if my nerves could take too much more of that.

Yet again I was surprised how deep Declan Rice plays for Arsenal.

The Chelsea crowd did their best to get behind the lads.

The confusing “we’re going to have a party (future tense), when Arsenal fucked it up (past tense)” was aired and I did wonder if this welding together of the past and the future might signal that Arsenal have and always will bugger it all up somehow.

If so, ingenious.

Inspired, even.

I kept saying pre-match that I wanted us to keep it tight in the first ten minutes, not conceding, not getting their fans all agitated.

We had succeeded; it was a decent start.

On eighteen minutes, all eyes were on Captain Reece as he came over to take the first corner in front of us of the match. His gently back-spinning cross dropped just wide of the near post.

Alas, on twenty-one minutes, Arsenal did what Arsenal do, and they robotically scored from a corner. The ball came in towards the back stick where Gabriel Magalhaes headed the ball back across the six-yard box for William Saliba to score.

Bollocks.

This wasn’t much of a spectacle, and the noise levels were far from deafening. The home lot certainly didn’t seem like they were supporting a team on the cusp of a first title in twenty-two years.

On the half-hour, an odd Raya kick out, and he ended up sprawling as he was put under pressure by Joao Pedro, who was looking lively.

On thirty-six minutes, Arsenal broke away and really should have done better, but the chance to shoot finally fell to Rice, who blasted over. This was a rare free-flowing move from anyone.

I had to laugh when, late into the half, Gary commented that he finally realised that Moises Caicedo was playing. I laughed because five minutes earlier, I had realised that Andrey Santos was playing too. Their roles, often hidden in the patterns of passing, were evidently even more camouflaged in this game.

In the second minute of injury time, we lambasted Reece James for walking over to take the third corner of the half in front of us.

“Come on Reece, get a move on” was the clean version.

He whipped in a corner towards the near post, and amid the forest of bodies, Raya made a fine reaction save as the ball ricocheted towards him.

Another corner was awarded.

I remember thinking “not another drop into the near post AGAIN.”

There was a sizeable delay before this corner was taken, and perhaps this worked in our favour. The captain whipped it in, a blur, I snapped, bodies rose, the ball made the net ripple.

GETINYOUBASTARD.

Reece ran over to the corner flag, joined by his teammates, and after the initial guttural roar from my very soul, I jumped into action.

Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.

Some were decent, some were shite.

But a great moment.

“If we can take two points off them here” – strangely this seemed just as important as us getting a pint – “we can really dent their title push.”

It became apparent that someone called Piero Hincapie, whoever he might be, scored an OG.

Smiles at half-time.

“If only we can hold on.”

We had learned that Tottenham had lost at Fulham – good – but United had come back to beat Palace – not good, but now it was all about us.

There were huddles from both teams before the referee began the second period, with us now attacking the far side. My pub camera had done its job. I wasn’t to use it much in this half.

I couldn’t help noticing how quiet everything was. I also couldn’t help spotting too many half-and-half scarves in our end.

I am not a violent man, but…

On forty-nine minutes, Sanchez was to the rescue as he ran out to clear a through-ball. Just after, Enzo received a ball from Joao Pedro and forced a fine save from Raya. Then just after that, another Reece James special was headed on by Trevoh Chalobah – who had really impressed me in the first half – and set up Joao Pedro to head at goal.

Well, dear reader, I was convinced we would score and was up and ready to scream, but Raya miraculously saved.

Bollocks.

On fifty-six minutes, a really lovely move from back to front, and a great cross from Reece on the right, and a flick on from Joao Pedro was just too high for Palmer to connect.

Ugh.

It had been “all us” in the last ten minutes.

“CAM ON CHOWLS.”

Alas, alas, alas.

On sixty-six minutes, Rice appeared like an arch nemesis in front of us and placed the ball down. It’s fair to say that he took a modicum of abuse from the away faithful.

Sadly, he spun the ball in, and although I did not see much the activity in the six-yard box, I did however see the ball fall inside the goalmouth and the net ripple.

Rice spun around and beamed the widest of smiles at us as he shuffled backwards before turning to run over to be with his teammates.

Fackinell.

It’s an image that I fear will forever be seared into my brain, just like the cry of joy from Julian Dicks as he scored against us at home in 1995, with us watching very close in the temporary stand at The Shed.

Arsenal were now 2-1 up.

Just after, we found ourselves up the far end. A crap corner from Neto, who had been booked just three minutes earlier, and the ball was hit out for Gabriel Martinelli to chase. Neto, humiliated by the terrible corner, raced behind him, but for some reason known to only him, decided not to try and catch up with the raiding Arsenal player and just put pressure on him. Instead, he wildly scythed him down.

A second yellow, a red.

“You idiot, Neto.”

As he walked past the away fans, he avoided eye contact with all three thousand of us.

“Braindead, Gary. Should be fined a week’s wages for that. Idiot.”

Oh bloody hell.

With the scent of victory in the air, Arsenal were now able to find their voices. They did make a fair old racket for a short time. But I could not give them, nor their team, much credit. We had spoken in the pub, quite candidly, how that “Invincible” team of 2003/4 contained some cracking players, and how they played some decent football under Arsene Wenger. But twenty-odd years later, this team seems to play football in a way that has turned many off. This robotic reliance on set pieces. This overly physical – to the point of being unlawful – style of anti-football has found few admirers outside North London. Nobody seems to be happy that Arsenal might win the league playing like this. It seems that we have come full circle from the “1-0 to The Arsenal” days of 1990/91. It’s as if Wenger never existed.

Mikel Arteta as the new George Graham.

Ugh.

On seventy-five minutes, some changes.

Malo Gusto for Hato.

Romeo Lavia for Santos.

Just after Kai Havertz came on for them.

“Oh God, no.”

After seventy-nine minutes, a very fine save down low by Sanchez from an Eberechi Eze effort.

On eighty-six minutes, more changes.

Alejandro Garnacho for Palmer.

Liam Delap for Enzo.

A real piledriver from Caicedo flew just over the bar. These were desperate times. On ninety-two minutes, a drifting and dropping cross from Garnacho dropped towards the far post but that man Raya leapt to claw away, another fine save.

I thought Delap did well in his late cameo.

On ninety-five minutes, the ball was floated towards Joao Pedro who balletically volleyed at Raya, who could not hold the ball. It fell to Delap…pulses racing now…and he poked the ball home.

The net rippled, I went ballistic, hugging a random stranger, punching the air.

But then.

Offside.

I turned and slumped onto the seat behind me.

Dejected.

At the final whistle, we edged out. I looked behind me and only saw Reece James – he had been magnificent all game, our best player by a country mile – coming over to applaud us.

Sigh.

I clocked two young lads in the Chelsea section smiling and occasionally laughing, while the rest of us mournfully paraded past, heads down, deflated. I have no evidence that they were Arsenal fans. I have no evidence that they were Chelsea fans. They spoke with foreign voices.

The difference in body language between them and the rest of us was insane.

I am not a violent man, but…

Outside, we met up and slowly made our way back to the waiting tube, not at Arsenal, but onwards to Finsbury Park, where we took the short hop to Arnos Grove.

A cheeseburger with onions helped ease my pain a little.

A little.

At around 7.45pm, I pointed my car westwards and began the long drive home.

Overall, I didn’t think we were particularly awful. We all shared this view. We had that purple patch before they scored their second. We had a few chances. Cole Palmer is a worry. Will we see him return to his form of old anytime soon? No, I know we didn’t play much expansive football. But we are still a young team, a team still learning about each other. To be honest, I did find the reaction of the Chelsea support to be so ridiculously varied that I had to wonder if everyone was watching the same match. Some were scathing about our performance. Some found it to be more positive. All I can say is that we were always in it, right to the very end. We weren’t beaten heavily.

I know as a spectacle it wasn’t brilliant. I would have hated watching it on TV. But that’s modern football for you. Most games are a tough watch these days.

Eventually I made it home.

This awayday had lasted from 9am to 11pm, and we have two more away days at Aston Villa and Wrexham on the near horizon.

It’s what we do, I guess.

I’ll see you there.

Tales From Much Ado About Nothing

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Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 3 February 2026.

I was at the end of my own little personal stretch of eight consecutive games in London: four at HQ, one at Charlton, one at Fulham, one at Palace and now this one at Arsenal. During the day, I was asked about my thoughts of the outcome of the League Cup semi-final second leg at the Emirates. I wasn’t sure about guessing a score, but my prediction was that we had a 25% chance of progressing to the final at Wembley. After the first-leg loss, Arsenal would be a tough nut to crack.

Unfortunately, Parky had failed a late fitness test, so just PD accompanied me on this occasion.

We had been given almost six thousand tickets for this game, and I was delighted that Arsenal had not charged us an exorbitant price for tickets. Unlike the £60 for my ticket at Stamford Bridge, I paid just a little over £30 for this one at Arsenal.

The drive east in the afternoon was not easy. I drove through rain and spray on the M4. I had felt tired, at times, during my shift at work, and after getting up at the loony time of 4.30am, I was obviously dreading more tiredness both to and from London, but hopefully not at the game. Only time would tell on that one.

For years and years, we have parked for free on the road adjacent to Barons Court tube station – Margravine Gardens – for aways against Arsenal, Tottenham and West Ham, conveniently just off the A4, but I happened to notice new parking regulations were in place. Free parking used to be available in after 5pm on weekdays, but now it was after 10pm every day. This was a big kick in the teeth.

Here was the first “fackinell” of the day.

What did this mean?

It meant that I had to divert south to where I park for midweek home games, and we then had to walk over half-a-mile to West Brompton tube station. This wouldn’t normally be an issue, but Paul struggles with such distances. And this is yet another example of how the pleasure that comes from a day at the football is slowly being eroded.

However, we made the best of it and stopped off at my favourite restaurant on the North End Road for a couple of pizzas and then continued a rather wet walk to West Brompton. There was a change onto the Piccadilly Line at Earl’s Court, and then the thirty-five minute journey, through thirteen stations, to Arsenal.

I heard occasional shouts of “Carefree” further down the carriages, but the train obviously contained a few Arsenal supporters too. A family of five were positioned to my left and caught my eye. They stood and sat close to PD, and they each wore a different Arsenal replica shirt. I caught PD’s eye and shook my head. You just don’t see that at Chelsea; a whole bloody family kitted out in club shirts. The father even wore his home shirt over a normal sweatshirt – a real sartorial own-goal in my book – and topped it off with a bobble hat. He couldn’t have looked more gormless if he had tried. And talking of replica kits, the three sons were certainly replica kids – absolute spitting images of their parents – but it worried me that their mother and father looked alike too.

Let’s leave that there, eh?

Up through the tight tunnels at Arsenal, and out into a miserable wet North London night. Rather than turn left as we did when we used to visit Highbury, we know turned right and headed up the long stretch of Drayton Park, past an impressive amount of souvenir stands. PD was still struggling with walking. Eventually we turned right towards the stadium, opposite the Drayton Park Arms – still an away pub I believe – just in time for a few young Arsenal and Chelsea to lads take a pop at one another.

The neon colours of the stadium were reflected in the puddles outside and helped create a photogenic, if watery, feel to a smattering of photos that were taken.

We were in quickly, out of the rain, at 7.20pm and took our seats not long after. PD was seated right next to the three seats of “no man’s land” between us and the Arsenal support, while I, thankfully, was further away, and in row eighteen, well under the roof. Those sitting in the first few rows were in for a soaking.

There were many familiar faces dotted around this lower tier. The split was three thousand in the lower, and a further three thousand high up in the top tier to my left. It annoyed me that away season ticket holders were denied choosing the upper tier. I would have loved to have watched the game up there for the first time, as – I am sure – would many.

Nice work Chelsea, you fools.

The players were on the pitch going through their pre-match drills. They were wearing a homage to the worst Chelsea kit of all time, the hideous tangerine and graphite monstrosity from the mid-‘nineties, complete with the most hated badge of all time, that nasty Millwall lookalike.

Nice work Chelsea, you fools.

The place filled up, and – what a surprise – yet another club has chosen “London Calling” as an intro before the teams stepped foot on the pitch.

We then had to endure the historic “Good old Arsenal” ditty which I always forget about until I hear it at their stadium. It certainly doesn’t have the lasting resonance of the theme from “Z Cars” at Everon nor “Marching on Together” at Leeds, to name but two.

Next, a light show…oh please stop this…let’s get to the football.

The teams eventually appeared.

I was surprised how many Chelsea clapped Noni Madueke when the team line-ups were named. Nobody clapped Kepa Arrizabalaga.

Us?

It took a while for me to work it all out. In fact, I needed to see the players on the pitch before I had a chance.

In goal?

Easy, Robert Sanchez.

It then got a little difficult.

It looked like three central defenders.

Wesley Fofana on the right, in front of us, then Trevoh Chalobah in the middle, then Jorrel Hato on the left.

We then had Malo Gusto and Marc Cucurella out wide.

OK, that was the easy part. Kinda.

Andrey Santos and Moises Caicedo were playing, holding things together.

It looked like Enzo Fernandez was playing a little higher up the pitch.

But we then had Joao Pedro in attack alongside Liam Delap, but with Delap drifting over to the right wing at every opportunity.

Blimey. A rather unorthodox system, eh?

We dominated the early possession, much to my pleasure, and in the sixth minute, Delap came in from the right but scuffed a snapshot well wide of Kepa’s right-hand post. That the striker then kept to the right flank for the rest of the half certainly caused a stir among the Chelsea faithful.

Arsenal forced a series of corners, and we watched as three of our attackers raced out of the box at the last minute, dragging some Arsenal players with them.

This lad Liam Rosenior certainly has some “left-field” – or maybe “right-field” – ideas that he is not afraid to use.

For a while, there was a commotion above and behind me as some Chelsea lads tried to pin a beautiful blue flag – featuring the 1984 two-tone colours – on the top balcony wall. That kit is synonymous with us at Highbury, and I loved that the flag was being given an airing at Arsenal’s new pad. By now, that top section was crammed full of our supporters, and I noticed that every single seat was being used in my section, a fine showing.

Robert Sanchez palmed away an effort from Piero Hincapie, whoever he is, and Gabriel Martinelli made a mess of the rebound.

The home fans weren’t particularly loud once they had settled down after their warbling to the “North London Forever” dirge before kick-off.

North London forever, you say? Not until 1913, you mean. It took until then for the Woolwich Wanderers to settle.

On twenty-six minutes, Moises Caicedo shot wide, well wide.

Wesley Fofana enjoyed an absolutely top-notch purple patch over ten glorious minutes, heading away, recovering well, tackling, playing it out with calmness personified. Excellent work.

The Chelsea choir asked, “is this a library?” and I wondered if the home support were saving themselves for another corner before they might get excited.

On thirty-three minutes, we were all concerned when Gusto let Martinelli get past him, but he recovered so well and saved the day with a bloody superb tackle.

Chances dried up at either end. Although Chelsea seemed to edge possession, there was a paucity of efforts on goal.

At various times in that first-half, that promised so much but delivered so little, Delap managed to fall over the ball, fall over his legs, fall over his marker’s legs, and sometimes run in the opposite direction to the ball. His continued presence in that position confused me, but I – at least – gave some sort of credit to Rosenior in his attempts to confuse the opposition too.

In the forty-third minute, at last a shot. An effort from Enzo was dramatically punched away by Kepa.

It was 0-0 at the break, and I have to say that the mood within the packed away support was positive. I think that many of us solemnly expected that we might get torn apart, so I think that the fact that were still very much in the tie helped us battle our overall feelings of dread.

The rain still fell as the second half began with Chelsea attacking the two zones of Chelsea support in the Clock End.

In the very first minute, Enzo came over to take a corner right in front of us. The ball dropped in to the near post area and the ball was stabbed at goal, took a deflection, but still went wide.

The game became a little scrappy, with niggling tackles all over the pitch, but the Chelsea support remained loud, giving the team some excellent support. When it got going in both sections it reminded me of our support at an FA Cup tie at Villa a few years ago – Enzo’s finest game in a Chelsea shirt – and at Arsenal on this wet old night the usual Chelsea songs were defiantly sung with passion and, er, gusto.

Joao Pedro was putting in a very strong performance all game, showing some neat touches of skill, and a surprising amount of strength when needed. He is impressing me of late.

Again, we were still in this tie.

A little secret; on the drive up to London, wary of a potentially long night ahead, PD had asked what we would do if we were losing 0-3 at half-time. Would we leave? My response was that we would hang on to the hour mark.

On sixty-one minutes, we saw Estevao and Cole Palmer appear on the far side, and they replaced Delap and Hato. A bloke in front of me, who had just returned from the loos, asked his mates who had come off.

I leaned forward and replied “Delap came off twice.”

So, was this Rosenior’s game plan? Get Arsenal used to a cumbersome lump on the wing for an hour, then replace him with a spritely wing wizard, and change the shape too, plus the bonus of Cole Palmer?

If this came off, I was ready to doff my non-existent cap.

We increased our possession with the two additions, and in one move we had the agreeable sight of both Palmer and Estevao attacking down the left within yards of each other. A shot from outside the box from Cucurella curled just wide.

If only we could hit the bloody target.

On sixty-four minutes, the best move of the match, but Enzo shot wildly over. This followed nice wing play from Estevao following a perfect pass from Palmer.

Joao Pedro fell after a challenge from Gabriel but it looked like a dive to me.

“Fucking embarrassing”.

The bloke in front agreed.

Arsenal made some quality substitutions of their own; on came Leandro Trossard and Kai Havertz, who was booed by a sizeable proportion of our support.

I whispered “fasten yer seatbelts” to the bloke to my left.

The mercurial Alejandro Garnacho appeared after seventy-five minutes, replacing Santos. He took his position on the left with Estevao flipping over to the right. This was a case of “do or die” now, but Chelsea found it difficult to squeeze the ball through the packed home defence. Too often the ball was played into the middle, expecting too much from Joao Pedro, and our wingers were not utilised as much as I, for one, wanted.

On eighty-one minutes, another Enzo corner and a Fofana flick, just wide.

Then, just after, an Arsenal break but a beautifully timed sliding tackle by Chalobah as Martinelli looked to exploit some space on the right.

I pleaded with Garnacho to run at his defender and make something happen, but I don’t think he ever did. And virtually every time that he chose to cut back and cross, the ball was blocked.

After eighty-seven minutes, Josh Acheampong replaced Gusto.

The game continued, but the Chelsea players still tended to slowly move the ball from player to player with the fans being the only ones showing the right amount of passion. I wondered if it had sunk in that a place at bloody Wembley was at stake here.

On eighty-nine minutes, Enzo shot over again.

Fackinell.

There was frustration everywhere in our ranks, but I was pleased and proud to note that hardly any of us were disappearing early. We would see this out.

Six minutes of injury time was signalled.

“COME ON CHELSEA – COME ON CHELSEA – COME ON CHELSEA – COME ON CHELSEA.”

We continued on.

Alas, Arsenal broke on ninety-six minutes, and they had spare men.

I spotted who was free on the right.

“Oh no, Havertz.”

We all watched in agony as he touched the ball past Sanchez and neatly slotted the ball home.

It was, awfully, not unlike a goal he scored one night in Porto.

Bollocks.

The referee blew up, and that was that.

Our travels had taken us to Lincoln, to Wolverhampton, to Cardiff and London, but there was no silverware in the League Cup this season.

With a deep sense of resignation that we never really gave it a go until very late on, we turned and began the slow shuffle towards the exits. I did that thing where I faced away from the pitch, but semi-turned to clap the players as they walked over to our support.

It was a very slow, and wet, walk back to Highbury & Islington tube station. For about fifteen minutes, we did not move an inch as we waited on the Holloway Road.

The Arsenal fans were jubilant and one bloody song kept repeating.

“60 million down the drain, Kai Havertz scores again”

I always remember reading a fan’s reminiscences about walking down the Seven Sisters Road after two consecutive semi-final defeats to Arsenal in the FA Cup in the ‘fifties – it was probably Scott Cheshire, that great Chelsea historian – and how depressed he felt. These were in the days when Chelsea, almost fifty years old, had not won a single thing, and so just imagine how those defeats must have hurt.

This hurt, but it was absolutely nowhere near the same scale of sadness.

At least it meant we could enjoy a first-ever visit to Everton’s new stadium on a Saturday rather than a Tuesday night.

We reached King’s Cross at 11pm, and we eventually got back to West Brompton. I shot off to pick up the car, and collected PD outside the station bang on midnight.

I eventually reached home at 2.20am.

I am never one for hitting the sack straight away; I need to scan my photos to see what I had taken, plus there is the inevitable late-night chit-chat with pals in the U.S.

I fell asleep, eventually, at 3.30am.

4.30am to 3.30am.

Bloody hell, Chelsea.

Tales From European Royalty

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Chelsea vs. Arsenal : 30 November 2025.

The game at Burnley was going to be the first of three games in a tight five-day spell for me.

Saturday : Burnley vs. Chelsea.

Tuesday : Chelsea vs. Barcelona.

Wednesday : Frome Town vs. Bashley.

I had titled this little series “Burnley, Barca & Bash” and was revelling in the varying experiences that the three matches would bring.

But then the wheels came off. On the Monday evening, I began to feel grim. I slept on the sofa that night – always a bad sign – and by the time I heard the 4.30am alarm on the Tuesday, I knew that I had been hit with a bug. I felt horrid. I ‘phoned in sick for work, and then texted PD and Parky to say that I would not be going to London that evening. I virtually slept the entire day but managed to see Chelsea demolish Barcelona 3-0 on my laptop.

That evening, I was tempted to turn to Facebook and write :

“I’m beginning to like you, Maresca.”

But no, not yet.

Wednesday merged into Thursday then Friday and I hardly moved from that sofa. Saturday brought a marked improvement, but I was still too ill to contemplate a Frome Town away game at Didcot. I bided my time.

Thankfully, on Sunday I was sufficiently better to be able to drive up to London for the home game with Arsenal. I had planned to pick up Paul in Frome at 9am, but such was my lethargy that I found it hard to get going. I had lost almost a stone in just five days. Eventually, I called for him at 9.30am, and then Glenn in Holt at 10am.

We stopped at Melksham for a Greggsfast and I am not sure if that helped or hindered my well-being.

By the time I joined up with everyone in a packed – and way too warm – “Eight Bells”, it was around 2pm, and after a quick “hello” to those inside, I sat at the outdoor tables. In truth I felt as weak as a kitten.

Three very good mates from Virginia soon arrived. Jaro and his son Alex, plus their neighbour Joe – I was with these three fine fellows in Philadelphia in June – had been present at the Barcelona game, and I felt bad not seeing them on the Tuesday. They had loved that game, and I was especially pleased to hear how good the atmosphere had been. Between Tuesday and Sunday, the three of them had met up in a very cold and wet Poland to see Legia Warsaw play Sparta Prague on the back of Jaro’s trip to visit his parents. Now Jaro and Alex were sneezing and coughing with some sort of affliction too.

We sat outside in the refreshing Winter air – I needed the crisp temperatures to keep me awake – and chatted about all things Chelsea and then decamped to “The Kings Arms” and sat inside while a strong contingent of Liverpool fans watched their game at West Ham United.

We backtracked and caught the tube to Fulham Broadway and posed by the “match board” – lovingly old-fashioned – outside the West Stand before we went our separate ways. I couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of smuggling my SLR in, so was forced to make do with my “pub camera.”

I was in early. A few mates filtered through: Gary, then Daryl, then Clive. However, I reserved the biggest smile when I saw Alan sidle up towards us. It would be his first Chelsea game of the season.

“Welcome back, son.”

It was time to start thinking about the game. Arsenal were six points ahead of us, and I am sure I was not alone with my thoughts about beating them and reducing the gap to just three points. Not that I thought that we could win the league.

No, not yet.

Enzo Maresca chose this team to face Arsenal.

Sanchez

Gusto – Fofana – Chalobah – Cucurella

James – Caicedo

Estevao – Fernandez – Neto

Joao Pedro

There was the usual hoopla with flames in front of the West Stand, and crowd-surfing banners at both ends.

The away fans were momentarily loud before the game began with a rather parochial ditty – stolen from Anfield – about winning the league at various locations.

“We won in at The Lane – twice!!!” (oooh, bless you…)

Chelsea retaliated with our “COEYNST” chant, and it was advantage Chelsea.

Joking aside, regarding Arsenal’s commendable domestic haul and our overseas triumphs, I strongly suspect that they wish that they were a bit more like us, and we wish that we were a bit more like them.

Arsenal can boast thirteen League Championships, fourteen FA Cups and two League Cups yet just two international trophies.

Chelsea have won six League Championships, eight FA Cups, five League Cups but a massive eleven international trophies.

As a young Arsenal supporter said to me en route to Baku in 2019, “Chelsea are European royalty.”

As the game kicked off at 4.30pm, it is fair to say that the atmosphere within Stamford Bridge was absolutely bristling.

Chelsea attacked Parky, Jaro, Alex and Joe at The Shed End in the first half.

Rather than petering out, the pre-match noise continued into the first quarter of an hour, and Chelsea were in the ascendency on the pitch with the young Boy from Brazil Estevao lighting up our play.

However, Robert Sanchez needed to spread his legs to block an Arsenal shot from an angle on twelve minutes.

A cross from Neto seemed a perfect chance for Estevao to score but his shot was blasted over the bar.

Next, a curler from Estevao went just wide.

At around the twenty-minute mark, it was all us now, and Arsenal seemed a very poor imitation of the team that had marched to the top of the table this season (even though I call them “the robots”).

On twenty-six minutes, I could hardly believe my eyes as Reece James accelerated at break-neck speed to chase down an Arsenal player and to win back the ball. On several occasions in that first-half, Reece was the Reece of old, and his pace was truly mesmerising. In a nutshell, he was everywhere and set the tone for our highly aggressive play.

On twenty-nine minutes, Joao Pedro won the ball in the Arsenal half but could not get his shot away in time.

We broke well via Estevao but a shot from Enzo, nicely involved at the top end, was easily saved by David Raya.

I found it ironic that Arsenal fans were singing songs against the referee.

“Anthony Taylor, it’s all about you.”

So, it wasn’t just us then.

On thirty-five minutes, there was a loose ball midway into our half. I saw Moises Caicedo – a life-force in this game again – take a swipe at Mikel Merino, whoever he is, and I immediately thought of the infamous Paul Gascoigne tackle in the 1991 FA Cup Final, only because Caicedo fell to the floor on impact too.

Players crowded the referee. After a VAR intervention, a red card was brandished to Caicedo.

Bollocks.

In the closing moments, Gabriel Martinelli forced a decent save from Sanchez.

As half-time began, “Blue Monday” by New Order rang out, and I grasped it as an omen.

At the break, Alejandro Garnacho replaced Estevao.

After just three minutes of play, I snapped a wide angle shot of Reece James taking a corner down below us.

Miraculously – to my mind – the ball met the near post leap of Trevoh Chalobah and the ball looped up and dropped into the goal.

My mind was a mixture of sudden emotions.

Get in you bastard / a roar of joy / fancy Arsenal being beaten by a set play / can I take a decent shot of the celebrations with my sub-par camera?

I did OK.

One nil to The Chelsea, as the song doesn’t go.

Understandably, the game opened-up as Arsenal tried to exploit the extra man and the space.

The home crowd was roaring again.

“We all follow the Chelsea, overland and sea…”

On fifty-four minutes, Liam Delap replaced Joao Pedro.

On fifty-nine minutes, a clean cross from Bukayo Saka and a clean header from Merino, and it was level.

Bollocks.

We countered with a cross from Garnacho but a lame Neto header.

Chances were traded; Delap shot at Raya, Arsenal shot over the bar.

Another Neto chance, curling a shot just wide.

Chelsea tried to prise an opening, but Arsenal managed the occasional chance too. They had been – maybe I am biased – a disappointment in this game. I expected more from them.

The game finished 1-1 and – cliché coming up – there is no doubt that we had the moral victory.

I wearily made my way back to the car – a cheeseburger with onions at Fulham Broadway did not help my cause – and we made a tiresome way home.

Next up, the headache of a tiring midweek visit to Elland Road after my return to work.

All…gulp…aboard!

Tales From A Non-Game

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Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 16 March 2025.

From Arnos Grove To Arsenal :

My last of four trips to London within an eight-day period was for the derby in North London against Arsenal.

Virtually every Chelsea fan that I spoke with was not looking forward to this one. The memories of our heavy 0-5 defeat last season were still fresh in our collective minds and, no doubt, most would say that the current team under Enzo Maresca was in a worse state of health than under Mauricio Pochettino in the final two months of last season.

We would descend on the Emirates Stadium out of duty, and we carried little hope for much success.

Alas PD was again unable to make this trip. I collected Parky at 7am and we kept ourselves occupied with some typical chit-chat on the quick flit to London. There was a brief mention of Frome Town’s home game against a famous non-league team, Havant & Waterlooville, the previous day. Frome began brightly and scored after eight minutes with a goal from Albie Hopkins, but the visitors began to play some impressive football and equalised on the half-hour. At that stage, there looked like only one winner. Thankfully, Frome responded well and provided a dogged performance in the second period to grab a deserved 1-1 draw. My Chelsea mate Glenn attended, and liked it, and spoke of plans to see an upcoming away game in Basingstoke. The gate was a creditable 512.

Before we knew it, I was in Hammersmith, and we sloped into “The Half-Moon Café” on the Fulham Palace Road at 9.30am for – quite probably – the highlight of the day.

While Parky dined on bubble-and-squeak and a few other choices, I went for a full English.

Toast

Sausages – Bacon – Hash-Browns – Beans

Fried Eggs – Mushrooms

Black Pudding – Brown Sauce

Tea

A fine line-up, I am sure most would agree.

I then drove to Barons Court, and we caught a non-stop Piccadilly Line train straight through the metropolis and alighted at Arnos Grove, in Deep Norf, just before 11am. Here, we had plans to meet Jimmy The Greek and a selection of his mates. Arnos Grove station is an art deco classic. It’s circular booking hall reminded me so much of my first-ever Chelsea tube station – Park Royal in West London, where I caught my first-ever tube to Stamford Bridge fifty-one years ago to the exact day, Saturday 16 March 1974 – but the pub next door, The Arnos Arms, was an Arts and Crafts gem in its own way.

It was 11am and Jimmy was waiting for the landlady to open the front doors. We virtually had the vast pub all to ourselves. The others – Nick, Bobby – joined us and we sank a few drinks of various strengths in sullen contemplation of the day ahead.

We caught the train south and alighted at Arsenal tube just before 1pm. As always, memories of “The Greatest Away Game Ever” – Saturday 25 August 1984 – jumped into my head.

Ah, that season again.

I was in North London exactly forty years ago on Saturday 16 March 1985 but a few miles north visiting a school friend, Richard, who was studying at Middlesex Polytechnic in Tottenham. On that Saturday, Chelsea played at Watford, but I thought it would be rather mean to come down to visit him and yet disappear off for most of the day to see Chelsea play. Instead, we spent some time together by visiting Craven Cottage, a first visit for me, for a Second Division game between Fulham and Charlton Athletic. I can remember exiting at Putney Bridge, no doubt walking very close to The Eight Bells, as it was snowing, and then watching a very dour 0-0 from the home Hammersmith End. The gate was a shockingly low 6,918.

Up in Watford, Chelsea nabbed a fine 3-1 away win with goals from Kerry Dixon, David Speedie and a John McLelland own-goal. Richard is a lifetime Portsmouth supporter – for the past two season he has contributed a page in the club’s home programme as one of their in-house poets – and on that day his team won 3-2 at Grimsby Town.

I always remember that we reconvened after the game in his student flat and we heard that his mate Serge, another North London Greek, had been to watch his team, Arsenal, who had won 2-0 against Leicester City at Highbury. And I always remember immediately contrasting his life as a local Arsenal fan being able to watch his team with relative ease, whereas my expeditions to see Chelsea, from either Somerset or Staffordshire, were a little more difficult.

And I wondered if Serge took all of that for granted. I really should have asked him.

I last saw him at Richard’s wedding in 1994, and I sometimes wonder if I might bump into him at Arsenal on any of my various visits.

I didn’t fancy risking my SLR again, so I just took my smaller “Sony” pub camera inside the stadium. We had a very similar spot to last season’s shellacking, close to the exit by the corner flag.

There wasn’t long to wait for this game to start. Alas, Alan couldn’t make this one either. I was stood next to John and Gary, and my good friend Andy from Nuneaton was right behind me.

I had a look around the stadium. It’s a large structure but is not as visually strong as it could be. There are much steeper stands, now, at Tottenham’s new pad and there will be even steeper stands at Everton’s new place. Although the upper tier, by nature, has a steep rake, the lower tier has a very shallow incline. Watching the game from this lower tier is not fantastic. The tiers seemed slightly lop-sided, disjointed even. There is almost some sort of optical illusion happening here. It seemed to me that the heavy upper tier had somehow squashed the lower tier and forced it to crumple and compress.

The teams appeared.

Us?

Worryingly, no Cole Palmer.

Sanchez

Fofana – Colwill – Badiashile – Cucurella

James – Caicedo

Sancho – Enzo – Nkunku

Neto

Another dose of round pegs and square holes, alas.

At 1.30pm, the game began and for the first time that I can remember, Chelsea attacked us in the Clock End in the first half.

Early on, Leandro Trossard was presented with a chance inside our box but shot wide of the target. On eight minutes, yet another “Sanchez In Poor Distribution Shocker” but he was able to recover admirably to save from Gabriel Martinelli.

On twelve minutes, Marc Cucurella lost possession and ought to have cleared, and it seemed that they had multiple chances to push the ball home but eventually shot over via Declan Rice.

“They’re getting past us too easily.”

Shots from Rice, again, and Trossard, again.

On twenty minutes, a corner down on the Arsenal right by Martin Odegaard was met with an unhindered leap by Mikel Merino at the near post, and we watched in horror as the ball dropped in at the far post.

Bloody hell. Arsenal scoring from a corner. Shocker.

There was immediate noise from the home areas, but this soon dissipated.

On twenty-four minutes, a shock to the system. Enzo raced forward and smacked a rogue shot that bounced wide.

This was soporific stuff.

On thirty-six minutes, the Chelsea contingent did their best to inspire the team who were struggling with virtually all aspects of the game.

ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!

Just after, Cucurella went just wide with a volley that squirmed just past the post.

The game dwindled on, only punctuated occasionally by an outburst from the watching thousands.

Then, a little spell of Chelsea pressure in the final moments of the first half.

However, this wasn’t much of a game at all. If Arsenal had punished us with some of those first-half chances, we would have been well out of it at half-time.

I turned around to Andy.

“Think of some of the great derbies around the World. Rio, Buenos Aires, Rome, Milan, great rivalries in those cities, great clubs. Then you see this, and it’s so quiet.”

It indeed was a tepid atmosphere.

At the break, no changes.

Well, the second half was worse than the first half. It turned into a “non-match”, so lacking in spirit and fight that it made me wonder why on Earth I had bothered.

The body language was just disgraceful. It pained me to watch it. No urgency, no talking, no “gee-ing up” of teammates. For some reason, a vision of Frank Lampard came into my head. An image of him, when things weren’t going our way, leaning forward, pointing, talking, encouraging, on edge, urging his fellow players to give extra.

This current team has none of this passion.

And this half of football had so few memories.

On sixty minutes, a brilliant save from Sanchez from Merino.

Just after, Arsenal manufactured some noise albeit by using the borrowed Liverpool chant.

“Allez Allez.”

Chelsea countered.

“Fuck all again, ole ole.”

Maresca made some – very late – changes and you had to wonder why.

Tyrique George for Sancho, his first mention.

Keirnan Dewsbury-Hall for Nkunku, his first mention.

Romeo Lavia for James, his first mention.

Tosin for Badiashile, his first mention.

With ten minutes ago, with the game on the line still, Chelsea did not change it up at all, instead relying on the sleepwalking of the previous eighty minutes.

Pass, pass, pass.

It was fucking disgraceful.

Out of the blue, George looped a high ball towards the back stick but Cucurella, as good as any, could not quite reach the ball.

The game fizzled out and no more goals ensuded.

Unbelievably, we were still fourth.

Good God.

We made it back to Barons Court at 4.45pm. On the drive home we were diverted off the M4, while we were listening to the League Cup Final from Wembley. While slowly navigating the narrow streets around Eton College, via intermittent and patchy Radio Five Live coverage, we heard of Dan Burn scoring for Newcastle United against Liverpool. As we eventually headed off the M4 towards Hungerford, half-an-hour later, we were quite happy that the Geordies had won their first silverware of any nature since 1969 and their first domestic trophy since 1955.

In season 1992/93, I attended three Newcastle United away games with my good mate Pete – Brentford, Bristol City, Swindon Town – and I was so pleased for him, and a few other good friends who follow the team. I have a small soft spot for them.

Pete watched the match in a Weston-Super-Mare care home with is father Bill, who was just eighteen when the Geordies won the 1955 FA Cup Final.

Well done them.

I reached home at 8.15pm.

I could not help but note how many fellow Chelsea supporters were using the adjective “tepid” to describe the game at Arsenal. It is a term I have used, and on many occasions of late.

We can’t all be wrong.

Next, a very long break for Chelsea Football Club.

We have no game for eighteen long days.

Perhaps it is for the best.

ARNOS GROVE

ARSENAL

Tales From A Must-Win Game

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Chelsea vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers : 20 January 2025.

I said it. You said it. Even educated fleas said it.

“This is a must-win” game.

And it was. With just three points out of fifteen in our previous five league games, things were starting to slip for Chelsea Football Club. Back in August, at our first away game of the season, we walloped Wolverhampton Wanderers 6-2, and they were currently mired in the bottom reaches of the table, having shown little spirit nor substance in the following twenty games since then. So, a home game with Wolves? We had to win this one.

This was a Monday night match, an 8pm kick-off, and thus was a familiar drive up to HQ. I collected PD and LP at 2pm. I dropped them off in deepest Fulham at 4.30pm. On the way to London, I was able, at last, to talk to them both about a Frome Town game.

My hometown team’s first match in three weeks had taken place on the previous Saturday at Winchester City and this was my first Frome game since an evening in Bath in the middle of December. Despite going one goal down at Winchester, Frome immediately countered with a fine strike from Rex Mannings. Not long after, Zak Drew touched home a flick-on from Archie Ferris at a corner to give the away team a 2-1 lead. Despite coming under severe pressure during the second half, another neat strike from Joe O’Laughlin gave Frome our fourth win out of five games in the league. Despite still being stuck in the relegation zone, the improvements over the past five weeks have been sensational. At last, there is hope in the Frome ranks.

On the way up to my usual parking spot on Charleville Road, the sky was tinted with a pink glow, and I noted that several friends were posting shots of the sunset on “Facebook” from around London. On this day, Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year apparently, not a good sign ahead of the game – at least Mother Nature was trying to keep our spirits up. I caught the tube at West Kensington, and there was a stop for some food at Earl’s Court and a first visit to “Zizzi.”

I checked to see if there were many away fans at “The Courtfield” outside the tube station at Earl’s Court, but I saw few. It is likely that the vicinity might well have been crawling with away fans just over forty years ago.

On Saturday 19 January 1985, Chelsea were to host Arsenal in a repeat of the season’s opener in August. I was to attend from my home in Stoke. However, there had been a mighty cold snap leading up to this game, and so on the day before I ‘phoned Chelsea to gauge the likelihood of the game taking place. The message from HQ was unless there was “adverse weather” overnight, the game would take place on the Saturday but at the earlier time of 2pm.

On the Saturday morning, I ‘phoned Chelsea again – at 8.30am – from a public call box outside Stoke City’s Victoria Ground and the game was on.

I caught the 9.20am train down from Stoke. My diary tells me that the fare had increased to £9.10. I quickly made my way over to Fulham Broadway and I bought a “Benches” ticket for £4. I had quite forgotten that tickets were needed for a few games in the “Benches” in 1984/85. I was in the ground early and was eventually joined by the usual crew.

From the left : me, Alan, Richard, Dave, Paul, Glenn, Glenn’s mate (who he had met on the train from Frome – possibly Swan from Radstock), Leggo and Mark.

My diary mentions “no fighting at all.”

This game gave me my first sighting of Charlie Nicholas, who had missed the game at Highbury. The pitch was terrible; mud everywhere, the pitch heavily sanded, strands of straw all over the surface. As was often the case in that era, the match was shown live on Scandinavian TV, and there were dozens of odd-sounding advertisement boards in evidence everywhere.

It wasn’t a great match. Arsenal’s Tony Woodcock missed a couple of good chances in the first half, and David Speedie fluffed a one-on-one in the second period. The visitors went ahead in the seventy-fifth minute when Kenny Sansom sent over a cross for Paul Mariner to head home in front of the Arsenal hordes on the north terrace. Chelsea went to pieces for a while. Bizarrely, the rest of the lads left early, leaving just Glenn and me watching the last remaining minutes. However, I have a distinct feeling that they all left early to queue up for FA Cup replay tickets – the away tie at Wigan Athletic – after the game. In the last minute of the match, a deep free kick from Colin Lee was headed on by Joe McLaughlin, Kerry Dixon played the ball on to Speedie and with a deft flick, the ball was lobbed over John Lukic.

Well, the place erupted. Glenn and I danced around like fools in the wide gangway behind the back row of the wooden benches – the wildest celebration for ages – and loa-and-behold Alan and Paul sprinted back to join us. Great times.

The gate that day in 1985 was 34,752 and Arsenal had, of course, the whole end with maybe 7,000 fans, around the same as West Ham in September. I remember how bitterly cold it was, but I remember the joyous victory jig with Glenn, Alan and Paul to this day.

On the walk back to West Kensington, I bumped into Andy from Trowbridge who was looking at some designer gear in a shop window on the North End Road. Throughout that season, as Andy had in fact predicted on the train to Highbury back in August, there had been a seismic shift in terrace fashions, less and less lurid sportswear, more and more expensive pullovers in neutral colours, less pale blue jeans, more mid-blue and dark blue jeans – Hard Core jeans specifically – and more black leather jackets. Less Fila, Tacchini and Ellese, more Burberry, Aquascutum and Armani.

Forty years later, in 2025, it has all gone mainstream, and the thrill has largely disappeared. Occasionally, though – very occasionally – I find myself checking out the attire of a football fancier and I think to myself :

“Yep. Fair play. He’s got that right.”

I caught the tube from Earl’s Court down to Putney Bridge and had the briefest of stays – thirty minutes – with PD, LP and Salisbury Steve at “The Eight Bells.” We started to discuss plans for the upcoming trip to Manchester City at the weekend just as The Smiths appeared on the pub jukebox. How 1985.

Back at Stamford Bridge, I was inside at 7.30pm with half-an-hour to spare. Unfortunately, Clive and Alan were out injured and so it was just PD and me in “The Sleepy.”

Unlike Bournemouth, Wolves brought the full three thousand.

I again noted that an area down below us, adjacent to the pitch, was cordoned off by rope and around twenty or so corporate guests (I can’t call them supporters, sorry) were watching the Chelsea players carry out their shuttle runs. They were then walked across the pitch, past the centre-circle (what utter sacrilege) and into their expensive seats behind the Chelsea bench.

JD and I looked on disapprovingly.

“I guess that is what you get when you sit in ‘The Dug Out Club’ these days.”

“The game’s gone.”

I returned to my seat, which afforded me a view ten times better than those low down in the East Lower.

Our team?

The big news was the return of Trevoh Chalobah from his load at Selhurst Park and Captain Reece was starting too. Enzo Fernandez was out injured, but Cole Palmer was thought fit enough to start.

Sanchez

James – Chalobah – Adarabioyo – Cucurella

Caicedo – Dewsbury-Hall

Madueke – Palmer – Neto

Jackson

There was the usual light show, but thankfully no fireworks on this occasion.

I must admit that I liked the look of the Wolves all-gold kit.

I guessed that the Wolves skipper won the toss because Chelsea attacked the Northern end in the first half, the same as against Arsenal in 1985.

It was all go in the first thirty seconds of the game.

Cole Palmer kicked-off straight back to Robert Sanchez and the ball was quickly played out to Pedro Neto who crossed inside. There was a defensive header behind and a Reece James corner on the far side. A Trevoh Chalobah header moved the ball on with Noni Madueki lurking behind the Wolves defenders Wilson, Keppel and Betty, but a volley went wide of the far post.

After five minutes, there was widespread applause as a superbly executed sliding tackle from Chalobah halted a Wolves break, one on one.

There seemed to be a lot more boisterousness from the crowd from the off and I really wondered if the extra thirty minutes in the pub on this evening of football was the reason why the volume was up on the Bournemouth game.

Chelsea had begun strongly and were creating a fair few chances in the first quarter of an hour. Noni Madueke set up Cole Palmer, but a shot went wide. Madueke, Dewsbury-Hall, Palmer again, and James all had efforts on goal.

It was a really decent start.

On sixteen minutes, the ball was played to Palmer, twenty-five yards out and he calmly caressed the ball as he weighed up options, touching the ball forward. We have been so used to Palmer stroking the ball nonchalantly into the corners of the goal – if he was a baseball pitcher, commentators would say he was “painting the corners of the strike zone” – that I was quite shocked when his eventual shot was turned past the post by Sa in the Wolves’ goal.

On eighteen minutes, Sa received treatment on the pitch for a knock, and the rest of the players received a drinks break in front of “The Dug Out Club” in the East Lower.

With it being a cold night, I wondered if it was a soup break.

“Right lads, I’ve got tomato, oxtail, cream of mushroom, Mulligatawny, leek and potato.”

“Any croutons.”

“You and your croutons, Trevoh. No. I keep telling you, choking hazard.”

The game continued.

There was a typical example of awful distribution from Robert Sanchez, and how we howled.

There was a typical example of a fine forceful run followed by a heavy touch from Nicolas Jackson, and how we howled.

Then, an errant Wolves header from Matt Doherty but the Wolves ‘keeper just about recovered before Pedro Neto could pounce, and how we howled with laughter.

From the resulting corner, the ball fell nicely to James who took a swipe at goal despite the presence of virtually the entire Wolves team blocking his sight of goal. There was a typical deflection, and the ball ran on to a Chelsea player, who smacked the ball home.

However, I did not celebrate as I thought the scorer, plus maybe two more Chelsea attackers, were in an offside position. Indeed, the linesman’s flag went up.

Not many around us in “The Sleepy” expected a goal.

“Offside by a mile.”

But there was a VAR call, and a long wait, a very long wait.

Goal.

I could hardly believe it.

Tosin ran towards the Matthew Harding Lower.

I snapped.

But I could not believe it.

In Alan’s absence, I loved the fact that two Chelsea mates in Texas, of all places, texted me the rallying-call.

Robin, in Houston : “THTCAUN.”

Charles, in Dallas : “THTCAUN.”

Chris in Fulham : “COMLD.”

Lovely stuff.

Sadly, we then drifted quite considerably. Wolves, for the first real time, came into the game.

PD was more succinct : “since the goal we been shit.”

Sanchez looked shaky again. I came up with a phrase that just about sums him up.

“Spin the wheel, Sanchez”.

Spin that wheel, mate, we never know what you are going to do next.

There were defensive blocks at timely interventions, but Wolves had the best of the closing period of the half. In almost the last of the six minutes of injury-time, it all went pear-shaped. A corner from in front of the away fans, a jump from Sanchez at the near post, but a fumble and the ball was dropped.

Doherty pushed it home.

Ugh.

“Spin that wheel, Sanchez.”

There were boos at half-time, which I never like to hear.

It was time for some gallows humour. I joked with a few folk nearby that we got a head start on having a crap second-half by starting it in the first.

We attacked The Shed in the second-half of course; it never seems right these days.

Of course our “ends” have since flipped but I can’t often remember us often attacking The Shed in the first-half in pre-1995 days.

Sanchez was soon annoying me again. A simple throw out to Marc Cucurella went behind him, and I howled once more.

As the game got going again, I spotted how much space Madueke was enjoying out on our right and on three occasions in what seemed like a few seconds, Palmer reached him with expansive passes. Noni then flattered to deceive – that phrase only used for football – and went to pieces, with heavy control, poor passing, weak finishing.

However, spotting the team needed support, parts of the Matthew Harding raised their game.

“CAM ON CHOWLSEA – CAM ON CHOWLSEA – CAM ON CHOWLSEA – CAM ON CHOWLSEA.”

There was yet another incisive Palmer to Madueke pass, but it was again wasted.

Thankfully, on the hour, cometh the hour, cometh the man, and that man was Cucurella. A cute cross from Madueke, at last, was flicked on by the improving and unmarked Dewsbury-Hall, and it fell at the feet of an also unmarked Cucurella. There was time for a softening touch in his, er, midriff, before he smashed the ball into the corner of the goal.

A scream from me, a slide from him.

GET IN.

Just after, the poor Neto was replaced by Jadon Sancho.

Five minutes after our second goal, Jackson won a free kick down by the Wolves support. Palmer floated the ball over towards the far post where Chalobah rose well to head the ball goalwards. Through a crowd of bodies, I semi-saw the ball headed in by another Chelsea player. The much-maligned Madueke raced away, slid to his knees, while I snapped away.

Chelsea had faltered but had dug in and improved. Fair play to the team on this occasion.

There were some positives. Both Chalobah and James were excelling; fine performances from them. In fact, in addition to the returning Trevoh taking Conor Gallagher’s shirt number, he had also inherited his specific chant too.

Welcome back, Trev.

Moises Caicedo was steady and solid.

Thankfully, Wolves faded as we improved.

Palmer – who had been fouled and was looking slightly off-colour – played Jackson through, and it looked offside to me, but he took the chance well. Alas, I was right for once. No goal.

Some substitutions.

77 minutes :

Axel Disasi for James, a warm ovation.

Malo Gusto for Dewsbury-Hall.

84 minutes :

Joao Felix for Palmer.

Tyrique George for Madueke, a league debut.

Wolves kept going and tested us with a couple of late efforts, but we easily withstood them. There was even a fine save and a fine block by Sanchez from Matheus Cunha and Jorgen Strand Larsen.

At last, we had eked out our first league win in six games, and we rose again to fourth in the table.

Next up, a visit to the team that are – for once, the first time in a blue moon – one place below us.

See you there

Chelsea vs. Arsenal : 1985

Tales From A Hot Ticket

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Chelsea vs. Arsenal : 10 November 2024.

The game at home to Arsenal had the feel of a real test. Here was an eagerly-awaited contest against an old foe, a historic London rival, but also a club that had enjoyed the upper hand over us of late. Since beating them 4-1 in Baku in 2019, our record in the subsequent eleven games was just two wins, just two draws but seven losses.

It was about time we had a little revenge. From a long way out, this absolutely felt like a big game, and a hot ticket.

My friend Aleksey, who had been lucky in acquiring tickets for the matches at Old Trafford and at home to Noah, was still in England for the Arsenal game, but as the weekend approached, we were struggling to find him a spare ticket. I had asked my usual two contacts but it just seemed that there were no spares out there.

Not to worry. He at least would be enjoying one game of football over the weekend.

At just after 11am on the Saturday, Aleksey alighted at Frome station after taking a direct train from London Paddington. There never was a direct train service in days of yore. I wonder what changed.

Alex was in deepest Somerset for the Frome Town game against Winchester City. He was another mate from the US who had been enticed down to my particular part of the West of England for a little dabble in the non-league scene. Hot on the heels of Phil, Courtney and Josh, Alex has adopted Frome Town as his non-league team of choice and was eagerly looking forward to the game at Badgers Hill.

We shot off for a superb breakfast at a local farm shop and we shared a very interesting chat about the game at both level one and level seven of our national sport. But there was also talk of his teenage years, in Moscow, when supporters of his team Spartak and other rival fans were engaged in battles throughout the city on game days. I can only imagine the carnage.

Alex was able to compare his experiences at the previous two Chelsea games. He absolutely loved being among the noisy and partisan Chelsea supporters at Old Trafford. When our equaliser came so soon after their penalty, the scenes startled him. He was punched in the ribs – unintentionally of course – and mentioned that a fellow-fan who was behind him ended up three rows in front; no mean achievement in these days of – painful – seating.

Noah, however, was a different story. Marooned in a sea of dopey tourists in the West Lower, he described it as a “train-wreck”, with people staring starry-eyed at The Shed and The Matthew Harding as the supporters therein took it in turns to sing songs of support, while the area surrounding him was a sea of tranquillity. Long-gone are the days when the West Lower could be relied upon to join in.

A low point for me personally on Thursday night was hearing a sizeable amount of the fans in the MHL carrying out that Arsenal chant about Tottenham.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

Thank you.

I gave Alex a little tour of Frome and the surrounding countryside, including a quick look at a fourteenth century castle in the village of Nunney, a fifteenth century church and a sixteenth century manor house in my home village of Mells, a little chat about the five-hundred-year-old house that I lived in until the age of twelve, and a few similarly historic buildings in Frome itself. The town itself dates from 685. We stopped for a pint at “The Three Swans”, which has stood since the seventeenth century, before joining a table of friends at “The Vine Tree.”

Our opponents were positioned just above us in the league table. They had won promotion via a play-off in 2022, just like we had in May of this year. This was a game that my home town team simply had to win.

As we approached the turnstiles, we heard the sad sound of the last post being played on a bugle in the centre circle. I was annoyed that we had missed the start of this. I promised myself there would be no repeat at Stamford Bridge the following day.

Although a fine crowd of 566 attended the game, unfortunately Frome Town succumbed to a solitary goal from Thomas Wright following a defensive error on the hour. At the final whistle, I slumped down to my haunches, an immediate and unplanned – er – knee-jerk reaction to a bitter defeat.

It felt like I had been kicked in the goolies.

Ugh.

However, Alex really enjoyed the conviviality of my local club, and the intensity and spirit of both players and supporters. I knew he would. There is so much to cherish about the non-league scene. I chuckled when I heard a gaggle of away fans in The Cowshed have a dig at the home support.

“Where’s your cathedral?”

After a drink in the clubhouse, we had an early-evening wander around the cobbled streets of the town centre before settling in at “The Archangel” for one last pint.

Tomorrow would be another day of football.

I collected PD at 8am and soon picked-up Alex at his hotel on the outskirts of Frome before collecting Parky, who was wearing a regimental tie ahead of his later attendance at All Saints Church in Fulham for the two-minute silence at 11am.

The four of us made our way to London, and I drove past the softly undulating countryside of Wiltshire and Berkshire. The roads were quiet. I fuelled up at Membury Services, and at around 10.30am, I got as close to the church and pub as I could; the local roads were jammed full of locals marching to the service.

Now in London, a spare ticket for Alex had still not materialised, and I was starting to give up hope.

I parked up and then walked down to Stamford Bridge to take a few photos and to chat to a couple of early-risers. On the way, I stopped for my second football fry-up of the weekend at the Memory Lane Café.

Forty-years ago to the exact day, Chelsea travelled up to Tyneside for a game at St. James’ Park. Newcastle United had been promoted alongside Chelsea in May and the two games involving the teams were the high spots of that magnificent season. In March of that year, over 36,000 attended the same contest, yet just 23,723 were at the fixture eight months later. I think this was my biggest disappointment of 1984/85; that the attendances didn’t really move up a level. In 1983/84 our home average was 21,120. A year later, in a division higher, it was 23,065. I was hoping for a steeper rise. At St. James’ Park, without the Keegan factor, it was worse. In 1983/84, they averaged a very impressive 29,856, but it dropped to 26,204 the following season.

On the pitch, Newcastle went 2-0 up in the first-half with goals from Neil McDonald and Chris Waddle, and although Kerry Dixon scored a consolation goal, it was another loss for Chelsea. Our record in the league thus far that season was 5 – 4 – 5, not the start that we had hoped for. At least King Kerry was still popping the goals in.

I reached the pub at midday and stayed until 3.30pm.

There was a real gathering of the clans again with the four of us joined by friends from Salisbury, Kent, North London, Buckinghamshire, Texas, Norway, Tennessee and Doncaster. I enjoyed chatting with Ian – Buckinghamshire – for the first real time. One of his previous roles was as the Chelsea Matchday DJ in the early-nineties, which I was not aware of. Drinks were flowing, though not for me of course.

Lo and behold, after weeks of trying to tease a spare ticket from someone, anyone, anybody, the little gang of lads on the next table had a spare for Alex.

Deal!

We were all happy now.

And relax.

We all hopped up onto the northbound platform at Putney Bridge tube and made our way to Stamford Bridge.

I was inside in good time. Again, I tut-tutted at the little gaggle of tourists watching Chelsea go through their pre-match shuttles and stretches behind a roped-off area by the West Stand, a few yards away from the pitch, having paid God knows what for the privilege.

The game’s gone.

It annoyed me that the usual pre-match songs were played just before the “Chelsea Remembers” letters were carried out by members of the armed forces. I had hoped for a period of silence before what should be a solemn time. Soon, images of Chelsea Pensioners appeared at The Shed End on a huge scale. Then some Chelsea Pensioners welcomed both teams onto the Stamford Bridge pitch. The tunics of those residing at the Royal Hospital are the only items of red clothing welcomed with open arms and open hearts at Stamford Bridge.

The Last Post.

Then gentle applause.

In all of these reminiscences of previous years, I cannot remember Chelsea Pensioners involved in those home games nearest to Remembrance Sunday. In fact, nor can I honestly remember last posts, nor two-minutes of silence. Does anybody?

There was, of course, a complete change of personnel since the Noah game on Thursday.

The team, as the old saying goes, picked itself.

Sanchez

Gusto – Fofana – Colwill – Cucarella

Lavia – Caicedo

Madueke – Palmer – Neto

Jackson

There was a bristling atmosphere as the game kicked-off, as it should be with a 4.30pm kick-off, and all of those extra pints being sunk.

I soon found it ironic that Kai Havertz was deployed as a false nine.

After just two minutes, Cole Palmer – on whom a great deal of our collective hope was resting – collected a ball from Romeo Lavia and advanced. He needed no encouragement to let fly. The shot was hit powerfully from thirty yards, but David Raya was equal to it, and tipped it over rather flamboyantly. Palmer, a possible injury doubt after Old Trafford, was back in the game.

Gabriel Martinelli – why do I always think of Marinello? – was getting himself into some early space out wide and Arsenal were posing a few problems. Then, some respite and a lovely sweeping move with Palmer the instigator. He moved the ball out to Pedro Neto, a familiar pass of late, and a deep cross was met by the leap but a misdirected header from Noni Madueke. The crowd groaned.

Some intricate footwork out on the left from Neto – scintillating to see – eventually gave him a few inches of spare space and he sent over a hugely impressive cross towards the far post. If Kerry Dixon, even now at the age of sixty-three, had been able to meet it, we would have taken the lead. Alas, the inch-perfect cross found the head of Malo Gusto who is unfortunately a full back and not a centre forward. The ball flew over.

Poor passing out of defence, that old problem, meant that Arsenal were able to gather the ball and it all resulted in a shot from Martinelli from an angle, but Robert Sanchez was able to fling an arm at the ball and swat it away. From the break just after, Madueke wasted an opportunity.

“Good game, this.”

Just before the half-hour mark, we seemed to collectively lose concentration at an Arsenal free-kick. The ball was pushed through to Havertz, and despite seemingly being knocked off balance, he managed to poke the ball past Sanchez.

Bollocks.

VAR was our saviour, but there were no celebrations nor screaming nor shouting from me.

Phew.

It was bad enough seeing Havertz scoring a couple against us at Arsenal in May. Seeing him celebrating at Stamford Bridge was momentarily worse.

There were pantomime jeers at the corner flag down below me as Declan Rice took a corner or two.

Palmer sadly failed to clear the wall on two separate occasions as the first-half continued. He had drifted out of the game a little.

No goals at half-time, but I think we probably edged it despite the phantom goal from Havertz.

Soon into the second-half, we were treated to a couple of crosses. The first from Madueke out on the right was acrobatically met by Wesley Fofana, arguably enjoying his best game yet, but his volley required the touch of a Dixon boot. The ball was hooked over the bar. A second cross was gathered by Reya.

The quality disappeared from our game for a while.

On the hour, as at Frome the day before, the visitors took the lead. The ball was steadily worked from Havertz on the Arsenal right out to Martinelli, who was one of two Arsenal attackers completely unmarked inside the box on the right. He shot cleanly past Sanchez at the near post.

Crap.

Here we go again.

Chelsea 0 Arsenal 1.

An Arsenal player called Timber, whoever he is, ran unfettered and went close with a long shot.

There were shouts around me.

“Change it!”

I mentioned to Clive that it was so noticeable that our three games against the three leading teams thus far appeared to be pointless, so to speak.

While PD was getting more and more angry with each passing minute, Clive was disappearing into a vortex of despair.

I thought to myself “is it really that bad?”

On sixty-seven minutes, two substitutions.

Enzo Fernandez for Lavia.

Mykhaioo Mudryk for Madueke.

“CAM ON CHOWLSEA.”

There was a switch in positions. Mudryk showed up on our side of Stamford Bridge on the Chelsea left, while Neto became inverted, but hopefully not introverted, in front of the East Lower on our right.

It rapidly paid dividends.

Neto, relatively deep, played the ball to Enzo. Arsenal were nowhere close, poor from them. Enzo prodded the ball into space for Neto to run onto. One touch from Neto, the goal begging for a shot. A swing of the left leg, and a fine connection. The low shot crashed past the despairing dive from Raya at the near post.

Ecstasy in the Matthew Harding. Euphoria in the West Stand. Bedlam in the East Stand. Pandemonium in The Shed.

Poor Neto did not know what to do, nor where to run. He ended up in front of the East Lower with a high jump.

Get in.

Chelsea 1 Arsenal 1.

Phew.

The noise boomed around Stamford Bridge now.

There was an inviting low cross from Bukayo Saka – the first time that I have mentioned his name – out on Arsenal’s right that evaded, thankfully, everybody as it made a lonely journey through a packed box. The cross evoked the phrase “corridor of uncertainty” and I am still amazed that nobody touched the ball goal-wards.

Another cross from the Arsenal right was headed down by Mikel Merino, whoever he is, and Sanchez gathered just before Havertz could get a touch.

Not long after, a clear offside as Nicolas Jackson – the first mention – ran through. A worryingly high percentage of the supporters housed in our end of The Bridge cheered. I fear for the human race.

On eighty-two minutes, Reece James took over from Gusto.

A little head tennis in the box, but Arsenal survived.

A very late substitution.

Christopher Nkunku for Jackson.

A cross from the Arsenal right, a shot from Merino, a great save from Sanchez, but the ball fell to Leandro Trossard. In my mind I was waiting for the net to bulge. He blazed it over. Offside anyway.

Fackinell.

In the ninety-fifth minute, a similar second-half story. A low cross from out on the Arsenal flank, this time the left, and a great cross right into “the corridor” but not a worthwhile touch, and offside anyway.

As you were.

Although, in fact, not as you were.

Since last season Arsenal have worsened while we have improved, no doubt.

When I got back to the car, I was flabbergasted to see that we had reached third place in the Premier League.

There is a cartoon that often does the rounds on the internet of an elephant up a tree, but of course that image never entered my mind at all.

Never.

Honest.

We have a break, now, until we all meet up again at Leicester City on Saturday 23 November.

See you there.

Tales From Highbury 1984 & Molineux 2024

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Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Chelsea : 25 August 2024.

I was in the midst of a very busy spell of football. After the Chelsea game at home to Servette on Thursday, I drove to the outer reaches of London on Saturday to see Frome Town gain a very creditable 1-1 draw at Chertsey Town. There would be another Frome Town game, a home match with county rivals Taunton Town on Bank Holiday Monday, but sandwiched in between the two Frome games was Chelsea’s first away fixture of the season at Molineux, the home of Wolverhampton Wanderers.

I picked up PD at 9am and I picked up Parky at 9.20am.

However, I cannot lie; my mind had been full of a game that had taken place some forty years ago to the very day. I had woken at 7am, but I soon spotted that two friends – well done Stu, well done JD – had already shared thoughts on the monumental events of Saturday 25 August 1984 on “Facebook.”

On this day, Chelsea played our first game in the top flight of English football in over five years. Adrift in the Second Division, at times it looked like we would never return. But return we did. And how.

My post on “Facebook” ran like this :

“My Dad dropped me off at Bath Spa station. The train to Paddington with lads from Trowbridge. A pink Lacoste polo, light blue Levis, Nike Wimbledon Supremes. Chelsea everywhere on the tube. Lads on parade. Out into the sun at Arsenal. The queue at the turnstiles. Like sardines in a tin on the Clock End terrace. An 11.30am kick-off. The noise. The togetherness. The madness of Kerry’s goal.

The greatest domestic away game in our history.

Chelsea are back. Chelsea are back. Hello. Hello.”

PD and Parky were there too, though their memories were scant. In my pre-amble to this season, I remarked that I might float some memories from previous seasons into this 2024/25 campaign, but there is no way that I could resist some heavy thoughts about the Arsenal game from forty-years ago.

However, this game was so immense, so historic, so huge that a whole book has already been devoted to it. On the twenty-fifth anniversary of the match in 2009, “Chelsea Here, Chelsea There” was published and I was lucky enough to contribute a few words.

Compared to the timid atmosphere at games these days, both PD and I – as we neared Birmingham – both admitted that “modern football is shit.”

Wolves away 2024 may not be Arsenal away 1984, but I was still relishing it all. If I was to methodically rank all of the Premier League stadia that I have visited by various criteria, I am sure that Wolves’ Molineux stadium would be in the upper quartile. If I took into consideration each away stadium’s location, its design, its sense of place – effectively how unique it is – its quirkiness, its atmosphere, its accessibility, its history, I am positive that Molineux would score pretty high. Before the season began I quickly listed my favourite top flight venues and my least liked.

Favourites?

Everton, Brentford, Fulham, Brighton, Wolves, Newcastle.

Least liked?

West Ham, Manchester City, Southampton, Arsenal.

I first visited Wolverhampton while on a train journey to Stoke in the summer of 1984 – the greatest summer ever in case you are not aware – and I am sure I did my best to locate the floodlight pylons of Molineux on that journey, which was a game we all played in those days.

I like that Molineux is close to the city centre, even though it is difficult to find pubs close to the stadium, and I like the old gold colour scheme. I like that it is virtually on the same spot as the old Molineux with its cranked main stand, huge South Bank and the stand with the multi-spanned roof. Now that really was a stadium with a sense of place, like many were in the early years of football stadium construction.

We were parked up at the nearby Broad Street Car Park at 12.30pm and were soon hobbling down to the stadium. The other two shot off for a pre-match drink while I had a look around. I liked the eventual refit of Molineux in the early ‘nineties – it took ages, from 1979 in fact – but I am not too sure that the large and ugly North Stand adds to its charm. For the first time I walked past the Billy Wright statue outside the main entrance and up the steady slope towards the city centre. From here, it’s possible to get a real sense of how the original stadium utilised the natural slope of the land. Even know the North Bank is just built on earth.

I could not help but notice the various shades of yellow / gold / orange that Wolves have used over the years, as evidenced by some of the replica shirts being worn by the home fans. I can’t help but think that the club needs to nail down that old gold variant’s pantone reference and nail it against a brick wall somewhere.

On the same subject, our home kit colour seems to be a little “off” this season. More of that maybe later.

There was a slight “stand-off” with a steward – “a camera?” – but I was in.

Inside, there was talk of “Arsenal 1984” just as much as “Wolves 2024” and I liked that my “Facebook” post elicited some responses regarding the sartorial choices of the day.

Ian : “Ellesse polo, Lois light jeans, Nike Wimbledons.”

Timmy : “Benetton polo, light blue Kappa pullover, blue jeans, Nike Wimbledons.”

Jimmy : “Light blue Tacchini top.”

It is my biggest regret that my camera – I took it to Ashton Gate – was not with me at Highbury in 1984.

Unlike the sun-drenched terraces of Arsenal forty-years ago, it was lukewarm and wet in the moments leading up to kick-off at Molineux. It didn’t seem five minutes ago that I was tut-tutting at the divs wearing blue and white Santa hats on Christmas Eve and the awful signage on the North Bank balcony :

“Our Loving Devotion Guides Our Lifelong Dream.”

Fireworks in front of us. I captured a shot of the flames creating “A Big W” – and the second “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” reference of the new season. Ominous? We’ll see.

Our team?

Sanchez

Gusto – Colwill – Fofana – Cucarella

Enzo – Caicedo

Madueke – Palmer – Mydryk

Jackson

Or something like that.

I spotted the number six on the back of Levi Colwill and momentarily thought of Thiago Silva.

If only, eh?

For some reason, Noni Madueke was violently booed during his first touches on the far side. We began well, and Madueke ran deep before forcing a save from Jose Sa. The incoming corner was headed on at the near post – snap! – and Nicolas Jackson was loitering at the far post to head in. Barely two minutes had elapsed.

Alan : “THTCAUN.”

Chris : “COMLD.”

On nine minutes, there was a leap from a Wolves player – Yerson Mosquera – with Colwill beaten, but the ball flew over. That should have levelled it. We played the ball out wide in the opening quarter but Mykhailo Mudryk in front of us in the Steve Bull Lower flattered to deceive. He was full of promise, but not much else.

A fine save from Sanchez on twelve minutes. With both teams attacking at will, this was a lively encounter. At times our midfield was woefully by-passed.

Jackson was looking a handful, but sometimes to himself.

We heard on the terrace grapevine that Madueke had been disparaging towards the city of Wolverhampton on social media, hence the boos from the locals. He obviously wasn’t sharing my placing of Wolverhampton in any upper quartile of anything.

There was a ridiculously delayed offside decision after Matheus Cunha had scored. There were shots on goal at both ends. Madueke was proving to be a real threat on the right unlike Mydruk on the left.

It was breathless stuff.

On twenty-six minutes Mr. Pink arrived next to me with his “lucky away” Pink polo shirt, shades of me at Highbury in 1984. With that, we lost possession, the ball broke to Rayan Ait-Nouri and he crossed for Cunha to sweep the ball past Robert Sanchez.

“So much for your lucky shirt!”

The play continued to go end-to-end. With me placed near the half-way line, my head was moving as quickly as a spectator on Centre-Court at Wimbledon.

On forty-one minutes, a great Wolves move found Cunha but we were indebted to a lunge from Colwill to deflect the shot onto the bar.

On forty-four minutes, a quick kick from Sanchez found the raiding Jackson in the inside-left channel. One touch from him, a beautiful flick with the outside of his foot as the ball bounced up, played in the supporting Cole Palmer. Again, the ball bounced nicely and Palmer expertly lobbed Sa with an exquisite finish. Watching the ball bounce into the goal was a heavenly moment. I love occasional long balls to keep the defenders on their toes and this move was magnificent.

Sanchez – Jackson – Palmer – BOSH.

Amazingly, the home team equalised deep into extra-time when a free-kick was played into our six-yard box and Strand Larsen, who looks sixteen, poked a leg out and steered the ball in.

It was a mad first-half.

At the break, I was sat relaxing when I recognised the intro to one of my favourite songs. I called over to Alan.

“Johnny Marr.”

True enough, here we were, in 2024 and here was a lovely echo of 1984.

“That’s easy money, that’s easy money.”

It had been an eventful first-half, plenty of attacking intent but some dreadful defensive decisions too. I turned to Gal and said “it’ll finish 5-5.”

At the break, Enzo Maresca replaced the lack-lustre Mudryk with Pedro Neto. I was expecting a barrage of boos, but I didn’t detect much animosity.

Very soon into the second period, Jackson passed to Palmer and there was a short pass outside to Madueke got us all excited. I luckily had my camera to my eyes and it suddenly dawned on me how close to goal he was. He shuffled the ball inside onto his left foot – no surprises – and shot at goal. There was a slight deflection off Ait-Nouri but we watched as the ball hit the back of the net.

Madueke’s run to the away support was joyful and I tried my best to take a few shots through a forest of arms and hands.

The game became scrappy and, despite the lead, it is always difficult to orchestrate any chanting and singing in that long elongated lower tier at Wolves.

However, on fifty-eight minutes, we witnessed an almost exact copy of Madueke’s first goal. Caicedo nicked a ball away from a Wolves midfielder and passed to Palmer, who in turn pushed the ball on to that man Noni. This time he chose to shoot, through the legs of Sa, with his right foot.

Get in.

More lovely celebrations, a slide this time.

Palmer himself went close, striking the outside of Sa’s post after breaking into the box after a ball from Jackson.

On sixty-three minutes, again a Palmer to Madueke moment, and an almost exact copy of the fourth goal. Enzo won a loose ball, Jackson prodded it to Palmer. You know the rest. Palmer to Madueke, a right footed thump low into the goal.

Wolves 2 Chelsea 5.

Noni raced away, picked up a spare ball to signify his hat-trick, and wallowed in the warm applause from the away faithful.

I reminded Gal of my 5-5 prediction.

But I also spoke about our memorable 5-2 win in the first month of the Lampard reign in 2019, almost five years ago, and I also remembered a 5-0 win under Claudio Ranieri in my first-ever visit to Molineux in 2003.

A substitution on 68 minutes :

Joao Felix for Jackson.

“Don’t get sent off this time.”

A substitution on 76 minutes :

Keirnan Dewsbury-Hall for Caicedo.

Wolves thought they had scored with a finely struck volley from Mario Lemina but it was disallowed for an offside in the build-up. It has to be said that the Wolves support was so quiet in that second-half.

I loved the way that Neto hugged the left touch-line.  He raced through and smashed a shot against Sa’s post. On eighty minutes, he out-strode his markers beautifully and dragged the ball back for Felix to smash in.

Bloody hell.

Wolves 2 Chelsea 6.

Two substitutions on 83 minutes :

Christopher Nkunku for Palmer.

Renato Veiga for Cucarella.

At the end of the game, I tried to remember how many times I had seen Chelsea score six away from home.

This was only the fourth time :

21 August 2010 : Wigan Athletic 0 Chelsea 6

30 August 2014 : Everton 3 Chelsea 6

9 April 2022 : Southampton 0 Chelsea 6

25 August 2024 : Wolverhampton Wanderers 2 Chelsea 6

On the walk out of the stadium, the younger element was full of noise, and I let them cheer. These are still odd times for us Chelsea fans. I think it helped that all of the starting eleven at Wolverhampton were players from the previous season, not new. I think it helped me get behind the team a little more. The bond between players and supporters is a delicate thing but it was strengthened on this performance.

No European travels for me this week. I am having a rest. See you in the pub on Sunday.

Tales From St. George’s Day

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Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 23 April 2024.

I was up early, around 4.45am, with yet another long day ahead. As I pottered about the house in a semi-conscious state, for some reason I kept thinking of that ridiculously chirpy – certainly for 5am on a week-day morning – Arsenal ditty that goes on about “playing football the Arsenal way.” I wasn’t sure why this was; some nervous reaction, maybe. But I soon adapted this to make it very specific to the particular date of the game.

“Playing football the Arsenal way. Thrashed by Chelsea on St. George’s Day.”

It scanned OK. I put it in my metaphorical back pocket to use on social media, hopefully later in the day. Then, with work started at 6am, the little ditty occasionally floated back into my mind. For some unfathomable reason, I shared it during the day in the office with Matt, the Arsenal supporter, and how he didn’t ridicule me is a miracle.

Oh God. What was I thinking off? Hardly any Chelsea fans had much hope of us winning at the Emirates Stadium later that evening.

Despite a slow but gradual upturn in our league form over the past eight games – four wins and four draws – this was always going to be the toughest of games, and the fixture loomed over us for weeks after the initial date of 16 March was set aside for an FA Cup game.

After the narrow defeat at Wembley on Saturday, the three of us were philosophical as we made a record-breaking exit from the national stadium, the quickest-ever escape from our seat at full-time to Marylebone and then to my car at Barons Court.

“I’m not losing any sleep about losing 1-0 to City today. We did OK. We should have won it.”

The Arsenal away game quickly followed on the Tuesday night. It was the first of seven remaining league games.

Arsenal – away.

Aston Villa – away.

Tottenham Hotspur – home.

West Ham United – home.

Nottingham Forest – away.

Brighton & Hove Albion – away.

Bournemouth – home.

Despite our upturn in form, and expectations, this was a tough run-in, and if I was honest, I didn’t fancy us to win more than a couple. West Ham at home, and then? I struggled to name a second game. Bournemouth at home? Maybe.

Only PD and I travelled up from Somerset for this game. We were parked at Barons Court again, bang on 5pm, and our pre-match pre-amble took in a coffee at a café outside the station, before hopping on to the Piccadilly Line to Piccadilly Circus, where we dropped off for a drink at “The Queens Head” before returning to the tube network and alighting at Arsenal. The tube carriage was full of Arsenal on the last stretch. I saw a young kid with a Chelsea shirt peeking out from underneath a jacket and nodded.

The usual slow walk up the claustrophobic slope at Arsenal tube and then out into the early evening sun, blinking at the brightness. Here, I wanted to time travel.

I turned left, and I visited the past.

I walked along Gillespie Road, with its brown-bricked terraced houses, with neatly-painted doors and window frames, that have stood since before the days of Woolwich Arsenal’s abandonment of its south-side beginnings and its sudden arrival at Highbury in 1913. I like the fact that this little stretch of terra firma is still utilised on Arsenal match days. There are food huts and merchandise stalls, many utilising the concreted front gardens along Gillespie Road and it is a hive of activity. The place is a riot of colour, albeit the wrong colour. I was undoubtedly reminded of my first-ever visit to Highbury in August 1984, almost forty years ago. I trudged past the void that used to lead to the old North Bank, and then turned up the slight incline of Avenell Road. My camera went into overdrive as I photographed the splendour of the art deco façade of the imposing East Stand. It is such an impressive sight. Memories of 1984, and paying at the turnstile to get into the Clock End with around 16,000 other Chelsea supporters on that blisteringly hot day in the greatest of our collective summers.

In 1984, Chelsea were back. And how.

There were memories of sitting in the sauna-like conditions of the top tier of the Clock End for the Wimbledon game in 1997 too. Believe it or not, that was my only Chelsea win at Highbury. There were eight visits with Chelsea against Arsenal, but only four draws and four losses. I used to hate them singing to us about winning the league in black and white. Sadly, I did not get a ticket for the Champions League game in 2004.

1984 and 2004, forty years ago and twenty years ago, time travel indeed.

I walked past the Arsenal tube station once again.

I was back in the present, like a modern day Mr. Benn. We slid past the site of the entrance to the old West Stand on Highbury Hill – shoe-horned between houses – and then a left-turn and onto Drayton Park. More merchandise stalls, more red. A few boisterous shouts from supporters of both teams. The modern buildings of an Arsenal ticket office to my right, then the slow walk up to the wide open approach to the new stadium.

My mind had allowed me to wallow in the past, and it was now to check out the present.

To the left, brick terraced houses, 1930’s architecture, Alex James in baggy shorts and Herbert Chapman busts in the marble halls.

To the right, glass and steel, the new stadium, towering stands, nearby high-rise apartments, but also a nod to the past too, a statue of Herbert Chapman in quiet admiration of the new home.

Outside, I handed over tickets to Ray, and one of his mates took a photo of us.

PD, Chris and Ray with Herbert in the background.

There was a gaggle of worried Chelsea fans nearby; JD with Jayne and Liz, plus Neil Barnett.

“Have you seen the team?”

I had, and the concern was the defence.

Petrovic

Gilchrist – Disasi – Badiashile – Cucarella

Caicedo – Enzo

Madueke – Gallagher – Mudryk

Jackson

The focus was on the central-pairing of Axel Disasi and Benoit Badiashile. Yes, I was worried. I quickly glimpsed at reactions to the team on social media. There was concern that Thiago Silva, who had performed admirably at Wembley on Saturday, had been dropped. I had a wry grin to myself as I remembered how the social media experts had decided a month or so ago that Silva should be dropped from the Chelsea team and told to gracefully retire.

Maybe the old guy was carrying a knock, maybe he wasn’t at a 100%. The dropping of Trevoh Chalobah was a little more mystifying.

But no Malo Gusto and no Cole Palmer. Gulp.

I made my way in past the security checks – I didn’t fancy risking the SLR again, my small Sony “pub camera” would have to suffice – and hoped for the best with the Disasi and Badiashile pairing. It’s probable that our first-choice at the back in a flat-four, should they ever be fit at the same time, would have been Levi Colwill and Wesley Fofana this season. Fofana doesn’t even feel like a Chelsea player at the moment, such has been his enforced absence. Will we ever see him again?

I was inside at 7.30pm, a bitter wind suddenly providing surprising gusts of cold. My seat was right next to the wide exit adjacent to the corner flag. It provided me with an interrupted view of the Clock End goal, which I quickly decided may not be for the best.

Five of us in a row : Alan, John, Gary, PD, me.

I spotted some faces around and about.

The PA warned about consistent standing, and reminded us to be aware of who we might be standing next to and that some spectators are not able to stand.

“And I can’t stand Arsenal.”

Just before the teams came onto the pitch, Joe Cole and Rio Ferdinand, on “Sky TV” duty, walked behind the goal from a previous position and headed right past me and into the guts of the Clock End using the exit tunnel. Joe Cole was serenaded by us all and he reciprocated by hugging a couple of Chelsea supporters. The Arsenal match mascot – Gunnersaurus –  appeared fleetingly too, disappearing into the same void as the former players.

Long neck, small head, a gormless expression, big feet, clumsy, probably a very small brain.

But that’s enough about Rio Ferdinand.

A little music; “Hells Bells” by AC/DC and “London Calling” by The Clash.

Piped music, music for the fans, not songs by the fans, then flags on the pitch and flames alongside it. The modern football package. I bet Herbert Chapman would have hated it.

I noted that Kai Havertz, keeping his number 29 shirt, was starting for the home team.

All along, in the car, in the pub, all of the pre-match, I had mentioned that I wanted us to keep them out for twenty minutes.

They attacked us in the Clock End in the first-half. And they attacked us early. Firstly, Havertz went sprawling in the box after the most negligible of challenges from Badiashile. He was offside anyway.

However, in what seemed the next worthwhile attack, Declan Rice ran deep into our box. Alfie Gilchrist was exposed, and had two Arsenal players to occupy his mind. Rice passed it to his left to Leandro Trossard, who seemed within touching distance of us in the front few rows. I expected a cross. Maybe Djordje Petrovic did too. Trossard whipped the ball towards the goal and I, and no doubt Petrovic, grimaced when the net rippled.

Oh, for fuck sake.

Arsenal 1 Chelsea 0.

Just four minutes had elapsed.

The home team absolutely dominated the opening quarter of the game, and we were run ragged. Bukayo Saka impressed me. A fine save down low from Petrovic foiled Havertz. It was only a miraculous selection of last-minute blocks, lucky deflections, wayward Arsenal efforts, and great reaction saves from Petrovic that stopped Arsenal from going further ahead. There appeared to be hardly a seat not being used on this cold night in N5 and the home crowd, still believing that the title race was on, were baying for blood.

Then, almost inextricably, we began to improve. We won loose balls – “turnovers” in modern parlance, is this a fucking baking competition? – and hinted that we might be able to get behind Arsenal. Madueke, hardly flavour of the month at Chelsea these days, received lots of the ball but struggled to produce an end product. Half-way through the first-half, a scintillating run by the similarly chastised Nicolas Jackson up the left touchline had me gasping. I could hardly believe my eyes. His pace was spellbinding. I remembered a similar run at Villa in the FA Cup replay by Madueke on the other flank. In the end, his cross from the goal-line struck the post after deflecting off Gabriel.

The place was noisy. There were the usual Arsenal dirges, but Chelsea tried to quell their racket.

“We won 4-1 in Baku.”

Arsenal came again, a fine save down low from Petrovic foiled Havertz. Then, a deflected shot off a Chelsea defender happened to hit Petrovic who was well-placed.

I loved the way that Alfie Gilchrist took out an Arsenal player on the touchline. It brought back memories of how Doug Rougvie marked his debut by taking out Viv Anderson at Highbury in 1984.

We managed to put together a few attacks, with Enzo Fernandez occasionally playing the ball intelligently forward. Crosses came into the Arsenal box but oh for a target man. And how we missed the intelligence of Palmer, tucked in behind. When we reached the final third, we just seemed to run out of ideas.

We closed the first-half reasonably well. A shot on target from Marc Cucarella came out to Enzo who drilled a shot just wide.

At the break, I tried to be as up-beat as I could. I think I knew, deep down, that it could have been more than 0-1.

Elsewhere, down in deepest Devon, Frome Town’s promotion rivals Wimborne Town were at AFC Tavistock in a match that they had to win to guarantee the league title and automatic promotion. If that was achieved, Frome Town would be forced into the play-offs. It was 1-1 at half-time.

The match began again with Chelsea attacking us in the Clock End. The initial action was at the other end, though. Petrovic was called into action early, and saved well from a Havertz poke, but on fifty-two minutes, the ball stayed alive from an Arsenal corner and Ben White smashed a loose ball in.

Arsenal 2 Chelsea 0.

Worse was to follow. Five minutes later and a rapid Arsenal break. The impressive Martin Odergaard slotted a perfect ball for Havertz to run onto, with Cucarella and Badiashile chasing his shadow. The former Chelsea player smashed the ball high over Petrovic and into the goal.

Arsenal 3 Chelsea 0.

Lots of Chelsea left.

Madueke set up Jackson inside the box, but chose to go for the near post than the far. The side netting rippled and we spat out some vitriol.

On sixty-four minutes, Saka passed inside the box to Havertz, who took the briefest of touches before drilling the ball in off the post. I saw the number “29” on his shirt as he ran towards the North Bank and glowered.

Arsenal 4 Chelsea 0.

I had visions of a huge defeat. I wanted us to stop the bleeding.

Time for two substitutions.

Raheem Sterling for Mudryk, as yet un-mentioned in this match report.

Trevoh Chalobah for Enzo.

On seventy minutes, a hideous moment. One touch football; Saka to Odergaard, a chip to White, and a ridiculous lob over Petrovic into the goal. It reminded me of that blooter that Tony Adams scored at the Highbury Clock End in 1998, the git. I hope that it won’t coincide with another Arsenal league title.

Arsenal 5 Chelsea 0.

Oh God, no more. Please.

Thinking : “we beat them 6-0 in 2014, ten years ago, please not six.”

This was horrible. The stadium was as noisy as I have ever heard it.

“We’re the North Bank, we’re the North Bank, we’re the North Bank Highbury.”

“We’re the Clock End, we’re the Clock End, we’re the Clock End Highbury.”

More substitutions.

Thiago Silva for Gilchrist.

Cesare Casadei for Madueke.

It was around this time, around 9.30pm, with more and more Chelsea vacating the away end, that I solidly stood against the wall to my left, not really paying too much attention to the game, and started to search for updates from Devon.

Tavistock were 2-1 up. Get in.

But then, bollocks, Wimborne had equalised with about six minutes to go.

The action on the pitch drifted on. Thank God Havertz had been substituted, but on came Jorginho. Stop twisting that knife, Arsenal.

I summoned up the courage to squint at the Wimborne Town Twitter feed, and there it was.

94 minutes : Tavistock 3 Wimborne Town 2.

My heart jumped. It soon became the final score.

What a mixture of emotions, though. I was hating the events at Arsenal in that horrible second-half. We just disappeared and wilted. Arsenal were well worth their win. I was just relieved that the home team didn’t go for the jugular.

The final nail in the coffin was Arsenal cheering every one of our passes in a late, late move that we put together.

Ugh.

With seven minutes of extra-time signalled, I asked PD if we should leave. We were the only ones left in our immediate area. From memory, I had only left early at a very small number of games in my Chelsea history. This was game 1,445.

The others?

Chelsea vs. Bolton, 1981 – to catch a coach at Earls Court at 5pm, we were 2-0 up.

Sunderland vs. Chelsea, 1999 – to beat the traffic, we were 1-4 down.

Manchester United vs. Chelsea, 2008 – to beat the traffic, we were 0-2 down, we lost 0-3.

West Ham vs. Chelsea, 2012 – I had had enough, post Di Matteo sacking, we were 1-2 down, we lost 1-3.

We trudged slowly up the steps. I must have looked pitiful.

I mouthed to a few good friends “I don’t like doing this.”

To be fair, PD has been suffering with his hip recently, and an elongated wait at Highbury & Islington tube would have been horrible. We walked down the Holloway Road as fast as we could. We reached there at 10.15pm. The Victoria Line to Green Park, then back onto the Piccadilly Line to Barons Court, getting back at just before 11pm. I would eventually get home at 1.30am.

I can’t deny it, the result in Devon had cheered me up no end. As I drove along the M4 and the A4, through those old towns, I could not help but to babble away to PD like a fool. To sum up, if Frome Town claim a win at home to Bristol Manor Farm on Saturday and Wimborne Town fail to win at Melksham Town, just sixteen miles away, Frome Town will be promoted.

Saturday 27 April promises to be a heavy day of football.

From Frome Town to Aston Villa.

I can’t bloody wait.