Tales From SW6

Chelsea vs. Bordeaux : 16 September 2008.

A few of my closest Chelsea mates were having a good old debate during the afternoon about the “manufactured” atmosphere that the club seems to be promoting again this season. We had heard that, instead of Chelsea flags, old style blue and white bar scarves would be given to all fans at the game. I commented that while I like the impact of these “visuals”, I was dead against the Fulham-style noise-makers ( first observed by me at Anaheim in 2002 I seem to remember )…if at any time in the near future, we were handed those on our entrance into the MHU, I think a little part of me would die a little.

Regarding flags, my last comment to the boys was “if the fans were able to bring them in themselves, a la Ultras, I could find it more palatable.I think it’s the club enforcing these things on us which is the key to our disdain.”

And so I set off. I left work at 4.15pm.

I work in the Wiltshire town of Chippenham. It’s a pretty sleepy town, famous for only one thing really…or rather, infamous…a mere 800 yards away from where I work, rock and roll legend Eddie Cochrane was killed in a car crash, back in around 1960.

I made good time until I reached the outskirts of West London – in the first hour, I covered 70 miles, but then the traffic slowed up. In the second hour I only did 25 miles. Drove into London on the M4, with Windsor Castle visible to my right ( Peter Osgood was born in Windsor ) and the much lampooned Slough to my left.

Since the ‘seventies, when my parents drove me up the M4 to games at Chelsea, the landmarks I spot from the M4 have become iconic for me. I’m travelling a well worn path on this road, believe me.

As I drove up and over the elevated section of the M4, I glimpsed the majestic arch of Wembley on the horizon to the north, the skyscrapers at Canary Wharf right ahead of me and I got what I will call from now on “the Brentford Buzz” – the sudden realisation that I was now in London Town and only three miles away from Stamford Bridge. The Killers CD was turned up a few notches…a nice feeling of exhilaration.

Parked-up at 6.15pm, straight into The Goose and a pint of Carling, me darling. Out into the quiet beer garden and a few “hiya boys” to Alan, Daryl, Rob, Daryl and his son Ed, Simon and his son Milo. Oh – another chap was present…a chap called Glenn ( or “Parky” ) who I used to work with in Trowbridge. He was on crutches after a knee op and had come up by train, but had no way of getting home…so I said I’d take him back. We had a good old laugh, mainly at Parky’s expense – bit of a character! Daryl and Simon were glowing in praise of the recent Stevie Wonder concert they had seen at The Dome.

We laughed at the image of one of our friends at Chelsea ( the legend that is Lovejoy ) being spotted on “Match Of The Day” during the City game and being likened to Chris De Burgh by Adrian Chiles of the BBC. He won’t live that one down!

A mild evening, we walked to the ground and I picked up a copy of CFCUK at the stall…Mark Worrall was there and we said “hi.” He has been pestering me to do a few recollections of “Arsenal 184” for his next book, so I said I’d crack on with that.

Parky bought a Chelsea / Bordeaux scarf for a fiver. I bought a programme and into the stadium.

Yep, there was a scarf draped on the back of my seat – I was surprised nobody had pinched it. As the teams came onto the pitch, quite a few fans began twirling them. I was more concerned in demolishing the steak and ale pie I had just forked out £3 on.

I didn’t think that the visual impact of the scarves was as good as the flags to be honest. The sight of all four stands featuring fans with the blue and white scarves draped around their necks looked rather surreal…like a Subutteo stadium from the ‘seventies, or maybe a Hollywood version of how English football fans should look.

The game was an absolute breeze. Did Bordeaux play well? Neaux!

A snappy couple of goals from Frank and Joe gave us a deserved lead at half-time…out came the scarves-a-twirling! It was all too easy, though. I lost patience with the team in the second-half…from Big Phil’s comments, it seems I was not the only one…I felt we didn’t move the ball in the right way. It was all a bit laboured. Deco, especially, was off the pace and then gave away a really silly foul which earned him a deserved yellow. Good to see Ballack back – he tried to open up the defence a few times, but as the game moved on, I was sure it would end 2-0.

Two late goals gave us a really comfortable win…lovely finish from Malouda. A fearsome strike from Belletti rattled the crossbar at The Shed End ( Parky was sat right behind it! ) and Anelka poked home. Anelka did OK actually.

Couldn’t help but note the atmosphere wasn’t great at all…a few sections tried to get things going to no avail. For a big club, Bordeaux’ away following of only 300 was pitiful. Parky reckoned the Shed were singing “where were you at Agincourt?” to them!

The match was sold-out, apart from one key area…noticed that there were quite a few gaps in the middle of The Shed ( Gate 4 ). I have noticed this many times before…I have a feeling this is where the club puts people on complimentary tickets or on hotel packages. But why right behind the goal? Right in the middle of what should be the singing section? Answers on a postcard please.

Walking past the tube station, I noted the Chelsea / Bordeaux scarves were now down to £3!

While waiting for Parky to get back to the car, I popped into The Goose and was pleased to hear that the boozer will be open at 10am again on Sunday.

Left Old London Town at 10pm, dropped Parky off at 11.45pm and I reached home at 12.15am, my sore throat from Manchester City ever so slightly worse.

United – you are next.

Now, where did I put my noisemaker?

TEW03650433_00098

Tales From The Frontline

Chelsea vs. Portsmouth : 17 August 2008.

So, here we go then, let’s get this baby started.

I drove up to London on Saturday afternoon so I could attend Beth’s Birthday Party in the evening. My girlfriend Judy was with me for the weekend and we were staying at a nice hotel on The Strand…the one, in fact, where my parents honeymooned in 1957.

Not sure if we will have a full report elsewhere on Beth’s Party, but it was a great time, a perfect start to the new season. The restaurant was good fun…words can’t describe it…lots of gold, lots of mirrors, like a Turkish bordello…ahem, apparently. The etchings in the toilets were rather rude! Judy and myself were sat up in a raised platform with Andy Wray and Mick ( who posts on this site ) and his wife. The food was excellent. We left there at about 11.30pm and popped into a club for a couple more beers. A fine time. I’m sure Beth will update you all in more detail.

While staying in the hotel over the weekend, it dawned on me how it’s possible to tell if you are a real, bona fide Chelsea fan. This is the test, this is what matters…when I go away with Chelsea, especially, or stay at a hotel, once I have had a shower, the bathroom tends to get all steamed-up, especially the large mirrors. A true Chelsea fan will look at the mirror and see a blank canvas…I always write “CFC” on the mirror…always, without fail, like I’m marking my territory.

This is the test. Who else does this?

When I explained this to Judy, she said she had seen me do this before!

We had a great breakfast and left the hotel at about 10.30am…a beautiful sunny day, but with a cooling breeze. I looked straight ahead, along The Strand, Nelson’s Column in Trafalgar Square just peeking over the buildings,, a red Routemaster bus was approaching…a classic London scene, maybe one which my parents would have seen in 1957. There was a bounce in my step – I just had a lovely feeling of being in a beautiful city on my way to see Chelsea, just three miles down the road. Just wonderful.

We strolled into The Goose at 11.30am. Reg had opened it up early at 10am and would do so again for the Spurs game. Music to our ears.

The boys were in the beer garden…Judy and me sat down and we were entertained by my two mates Brian and Paul from Frome, full of cheeky innuendo! The beer garden soon got packed – it was a typical Chelsea scene, dominated by blokes in our forties, receding hairlines, Lacoste polo shirts and lots of jokes and laughter. Had a quick word with Dutch Mick ( Chicago 2006 ) who I last saw in Moscow. I said to the boys that Judy was my good luck charm…she had previously been to six other CFC games with me and had seen six wins. Also of huge importance to our story is that the day after we both met, Chelsea won 6-1 at Tottenham.

These things count!

As a lot of you know, I’m into Chelsea history and often think back on previous years, contrasting and comparing a few things. For chaps of my age, season 1983-1984 was a monumental season for Chelsea. After five years in the wilderness, we gained promotion under John Neal…our play was awesome, the players are loved to this day, we took over grounds wherever we went, I met a lot of my Chelsea mates that season, I went to more games, the casual thing kicked-off for me…it was a real rights of passage season. Of course, this season marks the Silver Jubilee of that amazing season. Our first game that season was a 5-0 drubbing of Derby County ( the pre-season favourites, they were a good team ) and The Bridge was absolutely buzzing. I bumped into my good mate Glenn ( also from Frome, I knew him from school ) in The Shed that day and we have been the best of mates ever since. Anyway, in light of the twenty-fifth anniversary of that game, I dropped into Ladbrokes and put a fiver on us to beat Portsmouth by the same score of 5-0 ( it also mirrored Beth’s new age, quite conveniently! )

Bumped into Cathy and Dog outside one of the souvenir stalls along the Fulham Road. A lovely pre-match buzz as we sauntered past The So-Bar. Saw a few people being interviewed by some TV cameras.

However, we got to The Shed entrance at 1.15pm and due to teething problems with the new swiping system, we didn’t get in until 1.40pm. There were a few irate fans. For once, I prayed we that we didn’t score! Apparently, Beth got in a bit late, too. Judy and myself were at in The Shed Upper for a change ( Gate 7, SW corner…mmm, just like against Derby in 1983 ) while Beth’s party were right next to the Pompey in Gate 3.

OK – you all saw the game. Great, wasn’t it? How nice of Chelsea to wait until we were in the stadium to score the first goal. Just a few comments…I was impressed, firstly by Jose Bosingwa, the new Jose of SW6…athletic and fast, not unlike Ashley Cole to be honest. Top marks. Loved Deco – not just his ball skills and vision, but the fact that he would often put his foot in and wasn’t afraid of the physical side. Our midfield just purred – great ball retention, lovely movement…superb. Yes, Pompey were dire, but we were good you know. In the second-half, I am sure I saw Florent Malouda go on a run and beat a few players, but this just might have been an optical illusion.

So, three-up at half-time and I’m dreaming of picking up £125 at Ladbrokes.

In the end, Deco’s wonderful strike ( I loved the fact he hardly had any back-lift ) gave us a deserved 4-0 win, but did the players not read my script!

Portsmouth – the reigning FA Cup holders, remember – only brought 1,500…poor, I thought…they didn’t sing too much.

What else? Thought the stadium looked fantastic…I definitely approve of the new look, the rather “darker-than-normal blue”, colour of the balconies, which have always been festooned with advertising hoardings. It really makes the place look sleeker, cleaner…liked the ultra modern pitch-side adverts too…very high-tech. Did everyone spot the lovely banner on the MHU balcony wall? “JT LEADER,CAPTAIN, LEGEND.” A nice touch…we’re getting a bit like Manchester United now, with their permanent banners at the Stretford End. I approve. Might have to do one myself…sign some Italians and I’ll hoist “VINCI PER NOI” once more!

Our support was mixed…some nice singing at times, our section did a few nice “Meadows”…definitely a game of two halves…The Shed won the first, The Matthew Harding the second. There were, though, many periods of complete silence. I know I don’t want to hark on about this, but the 17,000 against Derby in 1983 made more noise! A bloke who was sat next to me, didn’t sing or offer any encouragement the entire. This blog is not dedicated to him.

Met up with Beth and her brother Robert outside the Megastore…Clive Walker walked past ( he played against Derby in that game in 1983 ) and I realised how lovely it was for our former players to be involved still. I also spotted Peter Bonetti at the game ( our goalkeeping coach in 1983 ) too.

A new thing for this season is a montage on the long wall opposite the West Stand – a succession of images of new and old players has been super-imposed on the wall and fans can have their photos taken by them. Beth posed next to JT ( go figure ) and Judy posed next to Vialli ( who she adored! ). Oh – one thing made me laugh…in the programme ( much the same format to last year ), I saw an advert for a Chelsea toaster…but it spells out “CFC” once the bread has been toasted…mmm, a bit similar to my hotel bathroom antics!

We strolled back to The Morrison on the Kings Road, where we met up again with Jenni, Andy, Wobbly and all. Beth and Wobbly spoke to Judy on a few occasions over the weekend about joining me in NYC next summer…watch this space…she is my lucky charm after all!

A great start, top of the league – Wigan, you are next.

More match reports – from 1983 and 2008 – as the season progresses.

IMGP2283