Tales From The Roller Coaster

Wigan Athletic vs. Chelsea : 17 December 2011.

There were reports of snow “up North” on Friday and on my brief foray around Frome on Saturday morning, I noted areas of black ice. I will be honest; I briefly wondered about the validity of the long trek up to Wigan for the evening kick-off. What if there was a calamitous fall of snow while the game was taking place. Would I then be stranded in deepest Lancashire?

Parky had been suffering badly with a stomach bug all week and had pulled out of the familiar journey to the former mill town of Wigan. It was going to be a solo trip north, just like a few years ago, before His Lordship chose to accompany me on the majority of my Chelsea adventures.

So, in the words of Joe Strummer; shall I stay or shall I go?

At just after 11am, I set off for Lancashire but I added a clause. I would return south as soon as I hit any serious weather. The long trip filled me with a little foreboding, but I quickly tuned the radio to Five Live and settled in for a few hours of football chat. Part of the Saturday programme was being recorded live from the iconic Salford Lads Club, in the shadows of Old Trafford, and I was reminded of the time that Gumby and I visited this famous building prior to our game at United in 2006. Its most famous role in popular culture was as a setting for a photograph used inside The Smiths’ “The Queen Is Dead” album in 1986.

“The queen is dead boys and it’s so lonely on a limb.”

Without the detour to collect Parky, I headed through Peasedown, touched the southern edge of Bath and skimmed Bristol before hitting the motorway network. There were periods of rain showers but sunny intervals, too.

The constant football banter on the radio helped the time race by. The Malverns around Tewkesbury were dusted with snow. I stopped for a coffee at Strensham, surprisingly quiet for a change; I guessed that neither United nor Liverpool were at home. There was a delay signposted ahead and so I broke off the M6 and headed through Stoke for the third time this season. All of the adjacent fields were covered in a thin covering of snow here, too. I passed The Britannia Stadium and then, five minutes later, I spotted the more down-at-heel Vale Park, the home of Port Vale. I refuelled at Sandbach, and then listened to a few minutes from Newcastle, where a Welsh tenor sang a stirring version of “Bread of Heaven” before a moment’s applause for the memory of Gary Speed.

As I neared Wigan, I half-heartedly listened to the first half of the Blackburn Rovers vs. West Bromwich Albion match. The radio people were continually returning to the fact that three of the lesser lights in the North West’s footballing landscape were currently occupying the relegation spots. After victories at Bolton and Blackburn, I certainly hoped for a win at the DW stadium to wrap up a trio of wins in Lancashire this season. And yet…there was a bit of me that half-expected Wigan to beat us. Call it my Chelsea sixth-sense. After a euphoric win against the leaders, how “Chelsea” for us it would be to lose to a lowly team a few days later. Maybe I have just been a fan of this club for too long.

The slow traffic on the M6 had resulted in the 200 mile journey to Wigan taking four-and-a-half hours. The diet of football on the radio had eased me through the late morning and afternoon. Thoughts of the next round of the Champions League certainly helped too. In a whirlwind few hours on Friday, I had booked some time off work and sorted out a flight from my local airport at Bristol to Rome, where I am staying a night with Alan and Gary, before heading down to Naples for the game. If that doesn’t excite me, something is wrong. It is a great dichotomy that most of Chelsea’s fan base was praying for an easy draw on Friday, whereas the match-going loyalists were craving for a great trip. Never mind the opposition, let’s get a good country, a great city and a new team.

I missed out on the Milan game in 1999 and the Inter game in 2010 due to work commitments, so I was long overdue a visit to the Stadio Guiseppe Meazza with Chelsea, although I had visited the stadium for two Inter league games in 1987 and 1990. Napoli was a different matter. If I am being honest, Napoli was my number one choice heading into the draw. An iconic city in the mezzogiorno. The city of the camorra. The home to a passionate and misunderstood populace; all football mad and delirious for success. The team of Maradona and all that. I briefly visited Naples in 1988 and 1990 but only got the briefest of tastes. It was a city like no other in Europe; maddening traffic, street urchins, noise, motorcycles, poverty… a city clinging on to Europe.

I can’t wait to return.

I parked up in my usual place at 3.45pm and I quickly decided that pre-match drinks were out of the question. With a potentially long and tiring return journey to come, I wanted to stay as fresh as I could. There had been mixed weather on the trip up, but there were clear skies at Wigan. The sun was setting and the air was cold. I walked to the stadium and noted a few locals wearing Santa hats. The Pogues’ “Fairy tale of New York” was playing on the stadium PA. I spent a while taking photographs of the exterior of the stadium. My two loves of football and photography enable me to combine two passions and I take a shedload of photographs on any given match day.

That I am a lover of stadia helps too.

At a Chelsea away game, I’ll be the one taking photos of roof trusses, turnstiles, illuminated signs, balcony walls, goal nets, corner flags, floodlights and statues.

The DW is a pretty bland stadium, located next to a retail park to the south, with a disproportionately large car park to the north. It will win no prizes for stadia design, but acts as a suitable home to the town’s football and rugby league teams. This would be my seventh visit to the stadium with Chelsea – probably the only stadium where I have seen every single one of Chelsea’s games. My mate Steve had been texting me with news of my local team Frome Town throughout the day. The final score brought a smile to my cheeks on a cold day; the Robins had continued their fine away form with a 2-0 win at the sublimely named Swindon Supermarine. There is a definite disappointment that I will be otherwise engaged at The Bridge on Boxing Day when Frome Town host Dorset’s biggest non-league team Weymouth. A gate of between 750 and 1,000 is expected for that one. I would love to be there for that; Frome’s biggest home league game for decades.

Before the game, I met up with Gill and Graeme and took a few photos of the Chelsea team going through their pre-match drills. I looked hard for Fernando Torres but couldn’t spot him; I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t start. The stadium took ages to fill up and at 5pm, the place only held around 3,000 people. I looked over to the side stand, where 400 noisy home fans were based and saw a nice banner; quite self-deprecating –

“We Come From Wigan And We Live In Mud Huts.”

During the last few minutes of the pre-game ritual, an old Christmas cracker from 1973 boomed around the stadium.

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I scrambled back to my allotted seat in row M just as Alan and Gary arrived.

“Hiya boys. Cold enough for ya?”

I was reminded of how steep the rakes of seats are at Wigan. I’m not sure how many we took to the game – maybe 3,500 at only £25 a pop – but the majority stood throughout.

I was wrong; Torres was on the bench yet again and Didier was playing. Lampard was in for the injured Ramires; no complaints.

This was a poor Chelsea performance on a bitter Lancashire evening. As the game developed, the Chelsea support grew more and more frustrated with our lack of desire and running. The songs were quite fragmented. I was expecting a full bodied reprise of “One Step Beyond” to be roaring around the away stand but I guess that particular song is difficult to replicate during a match.

Chelsea had most of the ball in the first-half, but that is to be expected. However, a John Terry thunderbolt after 15 minutes was the first meaningful attempt on goal. We’re still all waiting for John’s first ever blooter from outside the box; all of his Chelsea goals have been close range headers and prods from inside the box as far as I can remember. One day it will come; I have a feeling he is saving it for a Cup Final.

Oriel Romeu’s low drive, which was turned around El Habsi’s post, and a stooping header from Drogba represented our only other notable chances. Wigan, however, seemed content to soak up the pressure and hit us on a few breaks. Several contentious refereeing decisions which went against Wigan raised the hackles of the home support. Ivanovic, especially, was lucky not to have been penalised for a handball. A few nervous Cech clearances brought howls of complaint from the Chelsea faithful. At times our play was staid and unimaginative. Sturridge had started enthusiastically, but faded as the game developed. At times our midfield were like statues. In the last move of the half, a Wigan break resulted in a ball whipped across the box, just a few yards away from us all, which evaded everyone. A simple Wigan lunge was all that was required.

At the break, Gary summed it all up –

“Come on, we’re fcuking 5hit.”

At the break I bumped into Burger and Julie; they are excitedly bound for Italy on their first ever Chelsea European adventure.

I think we were all surprised that Oriel Romeu was substituted at the break. On came Kalou and I never really managed to work out who was playing where. Sometimes the raw emotion which I feel at games hinders my ability to fully understand subtle changes to team shape and methodology. We attempted to sing our support, but – like the team – that was disappointing, too. Kalou was soon involved and his typically tricky, heart-in-the-mouth, “he’ll lose the ball in his next kick” run into the box found Drogba, who prodded the ball into the side-netting with the outside of his foot.

On the hour, a great cross from Ashley Cole found Daniel Sturridge out on the edge of the box, just to my left. With a lovely move, he brought the ball down and despatched the ball into the net with his right foot.

The Chelsea support heaved a sigh of relief, I took a few blurry photographs of Studge’s celebratory stance and Alan and I did our usual “THTCAUN & COMLD” post goal routine.

Phew.

Rather than grow on this, we retreated into our collective shell, allowing Wigan several long range shots. The defence were looking decidedly shaky too, with several errors causing gasps and gulps amongst the 3,500 away fans. Our support grew more and more tense. The Wigan fans in the corner, the brave 400 from the mud huts, kept singing though. The rest of the home crowd was so quiet, but at least that corner section kept going. Fair play to them.

I could hardly believe that Torres couldn’t get on the pitch. Malouda and Mikel came on, but added nothing. Torres, bless him, must be wondering what he has to do. Was AVB’s plan to save him for Thursday? Highly unlikely.

And then it happened. It all unravelled before us in agonising “we’ve seen it all before” slow motion. A break down the right; Ivanovic out of position, trying to cover, but failing. A cross come shot spilled by Cech and a Wigan player pounced.

1-1.

Expletive deleted.

AVB’s uncharacteristically cautious approach almost paid off, but as Ruud Gullit once said “football is all about small moments” and our game at Wigan boiled down to Petr Cech not being able to gather that shot on 86 minutes. A header over the bar from a Wigan attack saved us further embarrassment and it remained 1-1.

The final whistle blew and my only thought was to get back to the car. Standing all game, my legs took a while to jump to life. My knees especially hurt like hell. I got back to the car in just 15 minutes and I wish that our players had shown similar urgency.

This seemed like a loss.

Despite stopping off for the usual Chelsea away day combination of carbohydrates and caffeine at Keele Services, I managed to return home in just three and a half hours. I won’t say it flew by, but with music from Everything But The Girl, Depeche Mode, Sex Pistols and Echo and The Bunnymen, I was at least I able to try to avoid thinking too hard about those dropped points.

But it was difficult to ignore.

Everyone had underperformed, to be honest. I do not relish the role of critic – my job is to support – but the manager made some strange decisions and our players were lackadaisical. I remember saying a few weeks back that this season will be a roller-coaster and the events of Saturday 17th. December have clearly not changed my opinion.

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Tales From The Carling Cup Quarter Final

Chelsea vs. Liverpool : 29 November 2011.

During my recent report from the League match a week or so ago, I had already established that one in nine of all the Chelsea games I have seen have involved Liverpool . So, it’s fair to say that there was a certain element of truth to the old saying about “familiarity brewing contempt” as I anticipated the Carling Cup Quarter Final against them.

There were very real fears of another potential disaster against Liverpool , but also – after the reasonable level of improvement against Wolves on Saturday – a growing expectation that we could gain revenge for the two most recent painful home defeats against them.

We live in a town called Hope, in a county called Hopeshire, in a country called Hopeland.

You get my drift.

I had a busy day at work but left Chippenham bang on 4pm. I collected His Lordship. He was still groggy with a cold and I had a slight headache. Not the best of conditions with which to set off on a drive up to London. As Liverpool had taken the full 6,000 allocation for The Shed, Parky would be displaced for this game, instead watching down in the quietness of the West Lower. As I drove towards Swindon on the M4, I could not help but notice the dark foreboding clouds which were ominously awaiting me in the east. These compared unfavourably with the clearer skies behind me in the west, past Bristol and beyond, the setting sun tainting a few white clouds with an orange glow.

Thankfully, the rain abated and the weather was reasonable, but – oh boy – I felt tired. I pulled in at Membury Services for a large Starbucks cappuccino and then battled the growing traffic as I headed towards Reading. This rush of caffeine invigorated me and I was able to relax a little. There was even the occasional thought about the imminent game. At Heston, just past Heathrow airport, I stopped for a Red Bull to keep me from flagging. Throughout it all, Parky was alongside, chattering away about all sorts. These midweek dashes from Chippenham to London are well-chronicled in these reports and I suppose that there will be a game in the future when I will say to myself –

“No. Enough is enough. I’m not going.”

The home streak will come to an end and I will find myself at home, maybe listening to the game on the radio or watching the game on TV or my laptop.

Until then, I’ll keep battling the rush hour traffic, the occasionally malevolent weather, the headaches and the tiredness.

The traffic grew slower as we approached Chiswick and then Hammersmith. We soon realised that we wouldn’t be able to join the regulars in The Goose for a pre-match tipple. With the traffic crawling down the North End Road , I took evasive action and parked a good few hundred yards further out than my normal parking place. I had just received delivery of a new hire car at work – a black Volkswagon Polo – and this was my inaugural journey.

I made special note of where I had parked. There was a slight risk that I would not be able to locate the new car, with an easily forgettable set of number plates, in an unfamiliar setting. I had visions of us at around 3am, stumbling around in the darkness of West London .

“Well, it must be around here somewhere, Parky.”

It had taken me a full three hours to reach my destination. We strode on past The Goose, barely slowing our pace to glimpse inside to see if any of our mates were inside. I quickly spotted the baseball cap, festooned with Chelsea badges, of Digger. Another Chelsea character, “Shorts Al”, was also spotted (so called because – go on, guess – he wears shorts at every Chelsea game, irrespective of the weather).

With tickets a reasonable £25, I expected another full house and the Fulham Road, past the old tube station to the West Stand entrance, was packed with people. I detected a few stray Liverpudlian accents.

As I waited in line outside the turnstiles outside the entrance to the Upper Tier of the Matthew Harding, I looked down at the Chelsea fans milling around and filing past to enter the Lower Tier turnstiles. To my left was the wall which marked the northern perimeter of the stadium, with the embankment of the District Line beyond. This would be the site of the oft-mentioned northern walkway which Chelsea have allegedly contemplated building to ease egress from the stadium should expansion take place. Just above a couple of large refuse bins, just to the right of a hot dog stand, perched on the top of the wall, was a fox.

The Chelsea fans walked past it, barely within four or five feet away. It slunk down on its haunches, hiding in the shadows, possibly waiting to pounce on a half-eaten burger. It had a decrepit appearance, its fur bedraggled and its eyes mean. It looked rather pathetic. It had seen better days.

It made me wonder if it really should have been down at The Shed End.

I made it to my seat with barely five minutes to spare before kick-off. Yes, another full house. A few more Liverpool flags and banners than the home game. They looked in a boisterous mood.

Before the game, the players assembled in the centre circle and the crowd fell silent as Stamford Bridge paid respects to Gary Speed. What a tragic story. Within seconds, both sets of supporters began applauding and this lasted a full minute, with everyone clapping for the entire time. This is a relatively new phenomenon in the UK, borrowed from Italy. The first time I can remember this happening was down on the south coast on a murky December evening in 2005, when Portsmouth and Chelsea fans broke years of protocol by spontaneously erupting in applause after 20 seconds of silence at the memory of George Best.

Gary Speed – A life lost way too soon.

Rest In Peace.

Andre Villas-Boas rang the changes and played Torres, Lukaku and Malouda in attack, It was great to see Young Josh alongside the freshly shaven Oriel Romeu and the recalled Frank Lampard in midfield. At the back, young Ryan Bertrand took the left back position, with the Brazilians Luiz and Alex in the middle. Bosingwa at right back, Ross in goal.

Two Brazilian centre-backs. I suppose at that moment I should have been prepared for a rough old night.

The all red of Liverpool versus the classic blue, blue and white of Chelsea.

My 56th. game involving the two teams.

After just two minutes, a forward run of David Luiz resulted in a fall inside the box at the Shed End. We all presumed a penalty, but no! Referee Phil Dowd (never a favourite at Chelsea) booked the Brazilian for diving. I really could not see clearly enough to see if this was the correct decision. Chelsea and Liverpool shared possession in the first few minutes, but the next talking point came on 21 minutes. Carroll went up for a high ball in the Chelsea box and, as soon as he landed, raced over to the referee along with three or four team mates. Again, I couldn’t see what the problem was. But Dowd didn’t do anything. I presumed that he would wave them away and continue.

To our disbelief, he pointed to the spot and I was stunned. It had been a good 15 seconds after the initial incident. The lino wasn’t flagging. Was his decision down to the boisterous appeals of the away players?

Shocking.

Not to worry – Ross Turnbull did well to block the penalty from Andy Carroll.

A massive roar.

After the penalty misses by Fulham and Everton, the trend in this year’s competition was continuing.

The highlights of the rest of the half were few and far between. Chelsea had most of the ball, but did very little with it. The midfield overpassed and the front three were impotent. A good ball into the path of Lukaku in the inside right channel, but the youngster was easily brushed aside. He then made amends with a strong run down to the goal line, but his ball into the box was blocked. Liverpool came back into the game as the half came to its conclusion, with the irritant Bellamy buzzing around like a pest. Sadly, Josh had received a knock and was replaced by Ramires.

Chelsea now contained three Brazilians.I filmed a few seconds from the tight and narrow area beneath the upper tier seats, looking out at the pitch from one of the vomitories.

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Eventually, at some stage in the future, I will have captured every brick, every seat, every blade of grass, every angle, every inch of Stamford Bridge.

Just before the break, our best chance of the game. A superb early ball from Bos found the head of Lukaku. His firm header looped over the intersection of the far post and the bar. It missed by a whisker.

Throughout the first-half, the Liverpool fans had stood, singing the usual songs…the “History” song, the “Li – ver – pool” dirge and the (stolen from Celtic) “Fields of Athenry / Anfield Road.”

At the break, they unfurled a new banner which said –

“Christmas is coming.
Lampard’s getting Fat.
Torres is a lady boy.
Mereiles is a twat.”

Ooh, that Scouse humour.

Neil Barnett introduced a face familiar to a certain generation of Chelsea fans.

“He scored 24 goals in the 1976-1977 promotion season. I toured with him in 2009 with the American fans and he hasn’t been able to stand since – Jock Finnieston!”

My mate Gal came over to chat for a few minutes at the break. He is a French polisher by trade and is still employed on a daily basis at Stamford Bridge, where his work has taken him into the executive areas of the West Stand. He quipped –

“Yeah, I’ve been here longer than some of the managers.”

It had been a poor first-half from Chelsea, but we began the second period in a far livelier fashion. This invigorated the home supporters and the noise levels increased. On 54 minutes, a Lampard free-kick ended up with an odd effort from the quiet Florent Malouda which eventually bounced onto the bar. David Luiz couldn’t quite turn the rebound in.

Soon after, the defence went missing as a ball was played out to Craig Bellamy on the right. From my biased perspective, he looked offside. He played in an early ball and there was Maxi to pounce at the far post. The away fans went ballistic and I felt nauseous.

Soon after, a Liverpool free kick and the slightest of touches from Kelly.

2-0.

Anelka and Mata came on, but our form did not improve. On 74 minutes, Anelka was one on one with Reina, but took too much time to decide what to do and the moment was gone. Just after, a Lampard corner picked out a great leap by Fernando Torres, but his header was ably saved by the ‘keeper. Our frustrations grew louder and the Chelsea players became more frantic and dispirited. With ten minutes to go, the home fans headed home and by full time, the place was about 60% full. I received a text from 612steve in deepest Philadelphia.

“They’re leaving by the dozen. What I wouldn’t give to be there.”

Steve is yet to visit Stamford Bridge and I felt his pain. It seems that our support needs a kick up the arse in addition to the playing staff. Over in The Shed, the away fans were singing long into the night. At times, they were the noisiest I have heard at Stamford Bridge for a while. I suppose – thinking about it – it shows how far we have come. Ten years ago, Liverpool would not have been overly excited about a League cup victory over us.

Since then, we have grown, they have stagnated.

But the rivalry has moved on further.

We simply don’t like each other.

Liverpool are the new Leeds.

After the game, I met up with Parky and Josh outside The Goose and we spent an enjoyable hour or so in The Lily, drinking lager, eating curry and chatting about Chelsea. Josh had loved his time in England – and Germany and The Netherlands. He was already talking about his next visit in 2012. He had watched the match from a central location in the front row of the East Upper.

Great view, poor match.

We said our farewells and I managed to find the car.

I eventually reached home at 2am.

My head was still racing. I surfed the internet and spotted a few comments about the game. I was too numb to think too much about things really. Time for introspection would come later.

Bloody Liverpool.

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