Tales From The Woolwich Wanderers

Arsenal vs. Chelsea : 6 September 2026.

After a hectic spell of six games – three blue, three red – in ten days, I enjoyed a brief period of rest during the week. However, ahead of Chelsea’s away game at Arsenal, I originally planned to follow my hometown team Frome Town in their quest to advance in the FA Cup on the Saturday at Falmouth Town in deepest Cornwall. However, on the Friday, the thought of covering almost six-hundred miles over the weekend fried my brain. I took the decision to abandon the expedition to Falmouth and thus concentrate on my first love; Chelsea Football Club.

I rested on Saturday but was buoyed by the news that despite conceding an early goal, Dodge came back to claim a 4-2 victory. I experienced no regrets in missing this match. I would be fresh for Sunday.

On the Sunday morning, I spent a small amount of time dipping into the personal histories of the two managers who would be locking horns at The Emirates later in the day. As youngsters, Xabi Alonso and Miguel Arteta played for the same football club, Antiguoko, in San Sebastian, and both dreamed of playing for Real Socidead. Born a few months apart, they went on to cross swords playing for the two teams on Merseyside but never played together at their favoured Real Sociedad. How strange that they would now meet as managers of London’s two giants.

This would be a real test for Alonso’s fledgling team.

I pulled out of my drive at 10.30am and set off for a very rare solo trip to London. PD really suffered with the walk from the stadium down to Highbury & Islington last season, so decided he would not be attending this one. Parky decided against it too. They would be back with me again for the Leeds United League Cup game on the following Wednesday.

I chose the southerly route to London, across Salisbury Plain, past Stonehenge, and onto the A303, then the M3, joining the slow-moving traffic on the M25, before hitting the more familiar route in via the M4 and the A4. I took a familiar right-turn onto the North End Road, and I was soon parked up where Rylston Road met Dawes Road. It was 2pm.

I again dipped in to “Walham Green” for a quick drink, but my travel plans took a jolt when I saw that Fulham Broadway was closed. So, I hopped on a bus and commenced my trans-London commute at Earl’s Court on the Picadilly Line that quickly connects the football clubs of Chelsea and Arsenal and the boroughs of Hammersmith and Fulham and Islington.

The train was full of Arsenal supporters of course.

I could not help noticing a chap who was sat across the way from me. He was around thirty-five, was wearing an Arsenal replica shirt, but also a black baseball cap with Mickey Mouse on the front and a Disneyland Paris logo on the back.

Oh boy.

Too many punchlines, not enough time.

As I hurtled north, Xabi Alonso’s choice of starters came through.

I couldn’t easily work out the formation.

Emi Martinez

Josh Acheampong

Maxence Lacroix

Wesley Fofana

Jorrel Hato

Reece James

Romeo Lavia

Pedro Neto

Cole Palmer

Morgan Rogers

Joao Pedro

Maybe it would all make sense once the players lined up at the kick-off.

It only took thirty minutes to reach the rabbit warren that is Arsenal tube. I immediately met up with Emma from Bridgwater in Somerset.

“Going to be a tough one, this.”

We edged up the incline to street level, and the bright sunshine was a contrast to the tube interior. I had recently spotted some evocative photos from an Arsenal vs. Chelsea match at Highbury in August 1971. A few images illustrated the colourful scene on Gillespie Road – rosettes, scarves, supporters – which is where I now stood. I wanted to replicate these, fifty-five years later. I took some photos with my phone. No SLR on this day.

I bumped into Andy and Graham from Glasgow who had flown down to London that morning.

Chelsea supporters streamed out of the tube station sing “Viva Gabriel” and the home supporters seemed to look away.

I could not resist an opportune photo of the first four letters of “Arsenal” near the Danny Fiszman Bridge over the railway lines and I shared it on “Facebook” with my comment:

“Right Up Them.”

I made my way towards the away turnstiles and spotted a large mural on a section of the stadium exterior that stated “Opportunity. Greatness.”

It sounded like a David Brent soundbite from one of the very first scenes of “The Office.”

“If a good man comes to me and says, ‘thank you for the opportunity and continued support in the work-related arena’…

“I can make it come true, a.k.a, to you… “you talk the talk, but you don’t walk the walk, vis a vis you have not yet won the European Cup.”

I was inside at bang on 4pm; it had been a relaxing day thus far, the timings were decent, but now it was starting to get a little serious. I aimed for block 20, along the side this season, rather than my usual perch near the corner flag.

Who should be walking up the aisle steps but my good mate Foxy from Dundee, who often shows up, unannounced, at various locations. It was a great pleasure to chat to him for a while.

I then spotted my awayday companion John, and I sidled past a few familiar faces – “going to be a hard game” – in the seventh row and soon realised that my seat, number 591, was right next to the slender gap of around four feet between the away supporters and the home fans.

“Oh great.”

They were going to be in my right earhole all afternoon.

Sigh.

When the Chelsea players trotted over to clap the away supporters, I noticed a chap in the second row of the home section to my right, just a few yards away, applauding the players. This surprised me. It also surprised an agitated Arsenal supporter who was right next to him in the front row. I saw him mouth the words “why are you clapping?”

And I understood this completely. It’s an obscenity to see this in home areas. The guy looked flummoxed and from his body language he appeared to gesture to the entire stadium as if to say, “I am just looking forward to the game.”

I wasn’t convinced and neither was the Arsenal chap.

A while later, I saw this bloke – he looked like a tourist, for sure – getting a selfie with the “Gunnersaurus” Arsenal mascot; blimey, another faux pas.

This bloke was making a right dick of himself.

I had to laugh that many inflatable European Cups had again found their way into the away end and were poised to be hoisted towards the Arsenal support, including that odd little knot of around two-hundred black-clad Ashburton Ultras behind the Clock End goal, at key moments during the afternoon.

Gary arrived and stood next to John. None of us were confident of a result.

The pre-game routines continued.

Arsenal is one of a few London clubs that dig out “London Calling” to play before the teams enter the pitch. I am not sure why they can lay claim to it. Joe Strummer, the lead singer of The Clash was a Chelsea fan by all accounts, and Fulham certainly live by the river.

Arsenal?

Who knows?

There is a river down at Woolwich, mind.

Last season, I started calling Arsenal – among many other, nastier, things – the Woolwich Wanderers and it seemed apt.

I couldn’t believe the abundance of various replica shirts being worn by the home supporters to my right. I know I always mention it a few times each season, but Chelsea – in the main – don’t tend to wear club colours in the same way as many other teams. Arsenal, though, lead the list. Is this the same club that many fans of other clubs heralded as the best dressed in London in the early ‘eighties when a new way of doing everything took hold? It was hard to believe.

I wondered that with all these man-made fibres being concentrated in such a tight proximity, it might represent a fire hazard should they get overly excited and start hugging each other; perish that thought.

As the teams came out from the tunnel, flames flew up into the air in front of us all, and I dreaded one spark heading towards the red hordes to my right.

Thankfully, the moment passed.

With a minute or so before the kick-off, “North London Forever” was bellowed out by the Arsenal devotees, and I refer everyone to my Woolwich comment earlier.

“Not exactly forever, is it?”

With two wins for both teams in the nascent Premier League thus far, the match kicked off with Chelsea, as usual at this venue, playing left-to-right and defending the Clock End.

I took an early photo and joked to John that I had at least one photo when it was 0-0.

Well, the joke was on me.

A floated free-kick from Reece James, central-left, and a little bit of head tennis. The ball fell conveniently to Morgan Rogers on the edge of the box. A fine stab at goal, and the net rippled. David Raya seemed to drop late.

We were 1-0 up.

Just over a minute had been played.

Bloody hell.

Pandemonium in the South Stand.

I may or may not have glanced, fists clenched, towards the nylon and polyester to my right.

I soon spotted that matey boy in the second row was being escorted out by a couple of stewards. What a silly boy. He obviously celebrated the Chelsea goal. At least he left with a selfie of him with the Arsenal mascot.

We could hardly believe it of course, and I suspect many among the three thousand must have thought “we have scored too soon.”

Arsenal, unsurprisingly, came at us, and I attempted to fathom out our formation, but being so low it was not always easy. There was an almighty scramble in our six-yard area, with bodies and limbs crunching against each other, but Martinez – returning to his former home – managed to bravely scoop the ball out for a corner. He went down and a few text messages later in the day would suggest that he had been the recipient of a boot to the head.

Bodies crunching and limbs flailing in opponents’ six-yard boxes seem to be an accepted way of playing the Arsenal way these days, and it isn’t pretty. It reminds me of the slapping that goes on during New Order’s “True Faith” video. Or Reeves and Mortimer with their frying pans.

On twelve minutes, another Arsenal free-kick out on the right, and a low delivery into the box. There was an inevitable scramble, and the ball bobbled in and around the six-yard box for what seemed like an eternity. The ball was eventually prodded in. The goons to my right erupted.

Fackinell.

But then, the TV screen signalled “VAR – possible offside” and there was hope. The goal was indeed chalked off, though you still won’t catch me cheering a VAR decision.

Chelsea, attacking with greater intent than which we are familiar, hit back with a few efforts. A shot from Cole Palmer was straight at Raya. The same player was then involved and played a ball into the far post but missed everyone. There was a blaster from Reece that was well saved.

At the other end, a formidable block by Reece from an Arsenal effort on goal. A fine tackle by Hato at the right moment, too. Attacks were mounting up, with pace, from both sides and the game was pulsating now.

On twenty-five minutes, the ball was played to the lanky German misery Havertz, and we watched as he cut inside and despatched a low strike on goal. Alas, it crept in at the near post.

Bollocks.

The Arsenal lot to my right erupted but nobody caught fire.

I think Havertz thought about trotting over to goad us but decided against it.

So, 1-1, and twenty minutes to the break.

Arsenal’s number seventeen Christos Tzolis – he has adopted Brian Marwood’s haircut in some sort of odd homage to the former Arsenal player – was involved in front of us and looked useful. Again, I was surprised how deep Declan Rice was playing. I still have nightmares thinking of how he turned to us and fist-pumped after a delivering a corner that led to a goal last season.

On forty minutes, we had tons of possession in the Arsenal third, but it all ended up with a tame cross from Pedro Neto into the ‘keeper’s hands.

Just after, a terrible free kick from Reece missed the frame of the goal by some margin.

Neto made use of acres of open space out on our right on a few occasions in the first half, and on forty-six minutes he raced forward to collect a great ball from Joao Pedro, and edged inside, but avoided playing the ball others, and hit the base of the far post. A follow-up cross from Reece was lofted wide.

It was 1-1 at the break. A quick synopsis? Decent going forward, over-run in midfield, our defence often collapsed back too many yards when they attacked us. The noise within the away section hadn’t been great, but the home support was hardly noisy either. It had been a decent game thus far, though.

The second half began, but after just five minutes, Brian Marwood played the ball into the box, Havertz dummied and the ball reached Martin Odegaard. His shot was central and flew past Martinez.

Sigh.

Immediately, the Arsenal lot were noisy as hell.

And this was hell.

Especially being just four feet away.

The stolen-from-Liverpool “Allez allez allez” chant was aired and after that died down, they started “Champions of England – we know what we are.”

I thought to myself :

“How Chelsea 2012.”

Chelsea had to attack, as defensively we didn’t seem assured. Rogers broke away in front of me, and there was a one versus one chase against Gabriel. The Arsenal defender’s sliding tackle was so good that it hurt me to witness it.

Alonso turned to the bench.

On the hour, Pep Chavarria for Hato and Malo Gusto for Lavia.

We now had two right full backs in the midfield duo. Without Moises Caicedo – and now with no Enzo Fernandez – we look rather deficient in that key area.

There was a Palmer shot straight at Raya.

Soon after, an effort from Rogers went high above the bar.

We kept the pressure up; we had much of the ball in the final fifteen minutes, and we kept willing the team on.

“COME ON CHELS.”

Then, at the other end, a fine save from Martinez foiled Bukayo Saka, a diving sprawl to his right.

Another substitution on eighty-one minutes.

Estevao for Neto.

Just after, a break from Palmer but the ball flew over.

This was becoming a pattern.

On eighty-seven minutes, Danny Welbeck replaced Rogers.

Remarkably, I kept saying ton Gary and John “I still fancy a late equaliser. A goal in the first minute. Another in the last.”

On eighty-nine minutes, the tricky Brazilian Estevao fooled his way inside his marker and unleashed a wicked shot at goal. Alas, we witnessed a dramatic leap from Raya and a fingertip push over the bar.

Stunning football, but no goal.

Four minutes of injury time were displayed, and although the referee played five, the late equaliser never came. There were glum faces all around me, and I slowly made my way up the shallow steps and out onto the concourse. It seems ages since the last time that we were victorious here; a 2-0 victory in August 2021. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and headed down the slope behind the southern side of the stadium. There was time for one last shot as the sun blitzed against the stadium glass. This slope always reminds me of the exit ramp from the old Shed. I can never remember seeing a photo that exists of that part of Stamford Bridge. I wonder why.

Rather than battle the inevitably slow-moving crowds on the Holloway Road, I hid away in a Chinese restaurant for three-quarters of an hour and let the crowds subside. Fed and watered, and suitably rested, I walked down to the tube station at Highbury Corner and made my way back to Rylston Road.

I bought some coffees for the return trip back to Somerset and set off. I was philosophical about the afternoon’s events. We had shown glimpses of “the new Chelsea” but Arsenal is an obstinate beast, and we didn’t quite have enough to get something out of the game.

I drove on and on, reaching home at 11pm.

Next up, Leeds.

See you there.

Tales From The Quiet Neighbours

Fulham vs. Chelsea : 3 March 2019.

It seemed to be all about sequences.

We were playing the fifth of seven consecutive games in London. We were playing the seventh match in a row of fourteen that did not include a Saturday game. And we were due to play the tenth game in a run in which there had been alternate wins and losses in the previous nine.

Oh, and in the pub, having mentioned that Slavisa Jokanovic, Claudio Ranieri, Scott Parker – their three managers so far this season – were all former Chelsea personnel, I could not resist yelping

“Bloody leave us alone Fulham.”

Ah yes, the pub. Parky, PD and I had set off early on the morning of the game in order to get ourselves lodged into a pub between 10am and 10.30am. I had completed some research and it looked like “The Rocket” in Putney would be open at 10am. Those following along with these rambles this season will know that we have often enjoyed some splendid pre-match drinks in a few pubs at the southern tip of Fulham – “The Eight Bells” and “The King’s Head” mainly – but our plan was to avoid those two because they would be undoubtedly rammed with supporters, probably of both clubs, as they were so near Craven Cottage. As has been the case on every single visit that I have made to Fulham Football Club, the plan in 2018/19 was to drink in Putney.

We were parked-up at just after 10am. There was light drizzle. The sky overhead was grey and threatened more rain. As we headed towards “The Rocket” on the south bank of the River Thames, we met up with Andrew from Columbus in Ohio who was visiting for three games. I had last met Andrew in Ann Arbor in 2016 for the Real Madrid friendly although he was over for the Palace home game last March. We located the pub easily but I was gobsmacked when the barman uttered the infamous line “we are open yes, but we are not serving alcohol until midday because of the football.” We could hardly believe it. And this was a “Wetherspoons” too; hardly the classiest of joints.

I uttered the first “fackinell” of the day. There would be a few more later.

In days of old, before more modern means of communication, the telex address used by Fulham Football Club was “Fulhamish London” and I immediately thought of this. A “Wetherspoons” pub not opening until midday because of football? How Fulhamish.

For those whose interest is piqued; our telex address was the far less whimsical “Chelstam London SW6”.

We back-tracked a little, closer to where we had parked-up in fact, and settled on “The Duke’s Head” – again on the banks of the river – where we had visited on many other occasions. We were inside when it opened at 10.30am.

Phew.

The troops started to arrive. Brad and Sean from New York appeared, as did Nick and Kim from Fresno. From closer to home, Alan and Gary from London, Duncan and Daryl from Essex, then Jim from Oxfordshire. We were spilling over onto three tables now. Mehul and Neekita from Detroit met up with us again, fresh from seeing the West Ham versus Newcastle United match on Saturday. I met two chaps from the US for the first time; Steve from Ohio, another Steve from New York. There was the usual chatter, banter and laughs. Brad and Sean had watched John Terry and Frank Lampard go head to head at Villa Park the previous day. This would be their first official Chelsea away game. And they were loving every damn minute of it.

With the US friends huddled close by, I spoke about some events which took place in the first few years of the twentieth century.

“I suppose we need to be thankful that Fulham said “no” to playing at Stamford Bridge, or none of us would be here today.”

And there was a moment of silence and clarity.

A few people seemed to gulp.

Indeed, we were grateful.

“If they had said “yes” there would have been no Munich, Peter Osgood may never have been a footballer, and Gianfranco Zola might never have been a crap manager for Watford and Birmingham City.”

“Blimey, that last bit didn’t pan out the way I was expecting” replied Andrew.

We laughed.

The chit chat continued.

“Another beer, lads?”

When Andrew had posted the obligatory “airport photo” on Facebook on leaving the US, alongside his passport and a pint of Peroni, there was a Chelsea badge styled on The Clash’s “London Calling” album cover. My great friend Daryl had produced these, so I introduced the two lads to each other.

“Chelsea World is a small world” part two hundred and fifty-seven.

I hinted to the lads that I had already come up with a title for the match blog.

“Remember when City started to threaten United and Alex Ferguson called them ‘the noisy neighbours’? – well, Fulham are far from noisy.”

It was a shame to leave the cosy confines of this great pub, but time was moving on and, at just past 1pm, so were we. Outside, the weather was murky. I had visions of being blown to bits on the walk across Putney Bridge, but the predicted high winds were still gathering elsewhere and the rain was only a slight hindrance.

On walking towards Craven Cottage – past the All Saints Church where we stood on Remembrance Sunday in November, past the Fulham Palace, and up into Bishop’s Park – I bumped into Kenny, who reminded me that I said that I would include him in the blog at Wembley, but then didn’t. This time, I am making amends for it, and as the date becomes closer, I will include Kenny’s sponsorship link for the London Marathon. I first met Kenny on tour in the US in DC in 2015, and he was also in Ann Arbor the following year. To say that he has lost some weight since 2016 would be a massive understatement. He deserves our support on 28 April. Watch this space.

In Bishop’s Park, we came across a selection of food stalls – some looked fantastic – and quite a few match-goers stopped to soak up some pre-match alcohol. Bizarrely, however, there were a few stalls that would not have looked out of place at a Farmers’ Market. One stall was selling fresh fruit and vegetables.

How Fulhamish.

We reached Stevenage Road at about 1.40pm and I had just enough time to take a few “mood shots” outside Craven Cottage. The red-bricked turnstiles, the rear of the cottage itself, the Johnny Haynes statue, the carved stone plaques, the black and white timber, the crowds rushing past, the match-day scene in all its glory. Craven Cottage rarely disappoints. The main stand on Stevenage Road – renamed the Johnny Haynes Stand after their most-loved player – is a Grade II listed building and is so protected from demolition. And it is a beauty. I have mentioned it before – and I mentioned it to Sean in the pub before the game, in a little segment devoted to the guru of stadium design Archibald Leitch – that the dimensions of Fulham’s oldest stand are exactly the same as the old East Stand at Stamford Bridge which lasted from 1905 to 1972. The two stadia in Fulham could not be more different, now nor in the past. Of course Craven Cottage is a gem, but part of the reason why the old Stamford Bridge was so loved by us Chelsea supporters was that it felt like a proper stadium, and to be blunt, there was so much of it. It was a rambling beast of a stadium with huge rolling banks of terracing, two forecourts, ranks of turnstiles, cobbled alleyways, ivy-covered offices, huge floodlight pylons, everything befitting the name “stadium.” Craven Cottage has always been slight. It has always been small. It has always only had that one stretch of entrances on Stevenage Road, that long expanse of warm red-brick.

On the old East Stand at Chelsea, the large painted letters “Chelsea Football Club” – in block capitals, mirrored on a wall of The Shed today – used to welcome all to Stamford Bridge and at the rear of the cottage to this day are the words “The Fulham Football Club” – in block capitals too. Like big brother, like little brother. Of course it is a cliché now that Fulham hate us but we are ambivalent to them. In fact, if pressed, most Chelsea have a soft-spot for Fulham, which infamously winds them up even more…bless ‘em.

There was the most minimal of security checks and I was in. Such is the benign nature of Fulham Football Club that home fans in the Riverside Stand use the same turnstiles as the away fans. And there is only one stadium in the realm of UEFA that has a designated “neutral zone”, a nod to Fulham’s non-segregation history of the Putney End.

And that is as Fulhamish as it gets.

I made my way to the back of the stand. I had swapped seats with PD as I had visions of my allotted place at the front being a tough place for cameras, and there was also a very strong threat of rain. Rain and cameras certainly do not mix. As it happened, I was in row ZZ, the very back row.

Row ZZ, but I am sure that I would not be tired of this game.

Fulham versus Chelsea, a very local affair, and a pretty friendly rivalry if truth be told.

“London Calling” boomed but it seemed odd that Joe Strummer’s most famous song was being used by Fulham. Joe Strummer was a Chelsea fan and if Chelsea are The Clash, then Fulham are…well, Neil Sedaka.

“I live by the river.”

The teams walked out from beneath the cottage to my right, the red-bricked chimney pots of the terraced streets behind. I quickly checked the team that manager Maurizio Sarri had chosen. The big news; Kepa was back in. Again, OK with me, move on.

Arrizabalaga

Azpilicueta – Rudiger – Christensen – Emerson

Jorginho

Kante – Barkley

Willian – Higuain – Hazard

The management team took their positions in the dug outs in front of the stand to my left. It was announced before Christmas that Fulham would at last move ahead on extending the Riverside Stand in May, thus increasing the capacity of their tidy stadium from 25,700 to 29,700, and opening up the rear of that stand so that there would, at last, be an unrestricted walk from Hammersmith Bridge to Putney Bridge. The images of the new stand looks sensational. During the game, there would be rolling adverts on the perimeter of the pitch for the boat race in April, with Craven Cottage a prime site to bring in some extra income.

I did not attend the game, but I can remember Paul Canoville scoring at Craven Cottage in 1983 on the same afternoon as the boat race. I bet the pubs in Fulham were a very odd mix of clientele that day.

Chelsea in all blue. Fulham in white and black.

I soon noticed that the Fulham support were brandishing those damned cardboard noisemakers.

File under “Fulhamish” once more.

With Tottenham and Arsenal eking out a draw at Wembley on the Saturday, here was a fantastic chance to tighten things at the top. A few weeks ago, we were all adamant that we would finish sixth. As Kepa walked towards us, he was loudly clapped, and he responded similarly.

“It’s Kepa you know. He’s better than fuckin’ Thibaut.”

The game began.

Chelsea began well and were backed with some noisy and boisterous singing. The Putney End at Fulham goes back a surprisingly long way, and the last section consists of metal platforms which are extended past the natural bank of terracing below. It allows for a formidable bounce once the away stand gets going.

There was an early outing for the “Barcelona, Real Madrid” chant, but this sadly finished with more than a few adding the “Y” word at the end…maybe that battle is not yet won, after all.

Gonzalo Higuain was involved early, but dawdled with a chance in front of goal and took an extra touch. He then headed well wide. Down below us, a typically selfless block from Dave stifled a goal scoring chance for Fulham. We were on top, but only just. There was almost a calamity when Kepa rose for a ball, with the red-headed Ryan Babel bowed beneath him. He could only fumble and we watched with a degree of horror as the ball came free of his clutches and bounced. Thankfully, the former Liverpool player was oblivious to the loose ball, our ‘keeper quickly clutched the ball and the moment of panic had gone.

Just after, the move of the match thus far developed below us. Rudiger to Willian, then to Dave. He whipped in a low ball towards the near post. Higuain met the cross and dispatched the ball effortlessly past the Fulham ‘keeper Sergio Rico with one touch. He jumped high in front of the seated denizens of the Hammersmith End.

SW6 0 SW6 1

“One team in Fulham, there’s only one team in Fulham” sang the Chelsea hordes.

We were on our way. Or were we?

After only a few minutes, Fulham tested us. Mitrovic swung a left foot, swiveling, and forced a really excellent save from Kepa, but a corner thus followed. In front of the filigree of the balcony, the grey slate of the roof and the red brick of the chimney stacks of the cottage away to my right, the ball was played short and then long, very long. The cross found the unmarked Calum Chambers at the far post. His down and up shot bounced past Kepa and Fulham had equalised.

SW6 1 SW6 1.

The noisemakers were heard. Just.

“Where was the marking?” I screamed.

Two or three minutes later, Jorginho managed to win the ball and knocked it outside to the shuffling Eden Hazard. Jorginho had continued to support the attack and Hazard easily spotted him. Just like Higuain, he did not need more than one touch. I was right behind the course of the ball as it was slotted high into the net. It was almost too easy.

SW6 1 SW6 2.

I watched as the scorer raced over to celebrate with Emerson, and I am surprised that any photographs were not blurred, such was the bounce in the metal flooring below me.

“Jor-jee-nee-oh. Jor-jee-nee-oh. Jor-jee-nee-oh, Jor-jee-nee-oh, Jor-jee-nee-oh” sang those to my right.

“You fickle bastards” I shouted.

Then, just after, a lovely chipped through-ball from Jorginho met the run of Higuain perfectly. The disappointingly wild shot – blasted over – from the striker could and should have made the ‘keeper work. Hazard then ran and shot right at the ‘keeper. Virtually the same move as our opening goal – almost identical – involving a pass from Willian, a low cross from Dave, enabled another first-time shot from Higuain but this time the Fulham ‘keeper scrambled low to his left to save.

At the break, I had memories of the 4-1 win at Craven Cottage in the early winter of 2004, when we – Alan, Gary, Daryl and I from the 2019 party – had met at the Duke’s Head and had witnessed one of the games of the season in Jose Mourinho’s first triumphant campaign at the helm. Would there be a similar score line this time around? I hoped so.

In truth, we struggled for most of the second period and even though we created a few half-chances, there was growing frustration in the Chelsea ranks as the game progressed. Eden struck another low shot at Rico. Willian went close at the near post. There was a strong penalty appeal down below us, but it was waved away. Azpilicueta held his head in his hands and squatted in an odd show of disbelief. I could hardly believe it as the referee Graham Scott repeated Dave’s actions in a clear case of Micky-taking.

“Never seen that before. What a twat of a referee.”

Willian went close but hit the side-netting. A ball was pumped across the face of the goal by Hazard – “too good” I complained to the bloke next to me – but there was nobody close to get a touch.

We found it difficult to create much more. If anything, Fulham finished the far stronger of the two teams. Mitrovic thumped one over and the noisemakers were called into use again.

Sarri rang the changes.

Kovacic for Jorginho.

Pedro for Hazard.

Loftus-Cheek for Barkley.

All were surprising in their own way.

By now, the rain was falling in SW6 and the wind blew the rain in gusts. The River Thames was cutting up, visible in two slithers to my left. The rather odd corporate boxes at Fulham have been likened to large filing cabinets, and they inhibit the views of the outside environs at Craven Cottage. A few chimney pots and a few rooftops close by to my right, a tall block of flats further away. The river and some trees on the far bank to my left. The top floors of the Charing Cross Hospital above the roof of the Hammersmith End. Craven Cottage is hardly claustrophobic but there is not much to see of the outside world.

On the pitch we were, bluntly, holding on.

Kepa saved low from Cairney and then again from Bryan. The nerves were jangling in the Putney End.

With the clock ticking, we were chasing shadows as Ayite found Mitrovic with a quick cross. The strong striker’s instinctive header was met by a very impressive leap from Kepa and the ball was pushed away.

Fackinell.

I had memories of a late Fulham equaliser from Clint Dempsey in 2008. Remember that?

Fulham had thought that they had repeated this feat in the very last move of the match when their young starlet Ryan Sessegnon tucked the ball in, but I – and possibly three-thousand or more Chelsea supporters – saw the raised yellow flag of the linesman on the far side. The clacking noisemakers were soon silent.

With that, the final whistle.

Phew.

We met up outside the turnstiles on Stevenage Road.

“Made hard work of that, eh? I grumbled.

“Did we ever” replied PD.

The rain lashed against us on the walk back to the car. We walked silently through the park. I had the worst-ever post-game hot dog and onions. At last there was the comfort of my warm and dry car waiting for me on Felsham Road. We eventually made our way home. This game on the banks of the Thames will not live long in the memory. But at last we had two back-to-back victories. But, I have to say that Fulham look like they are down, though. And I think that is a shame. I love our little derby. I love a trip to the southern tip of the borough. I wonder who their next manager will be. He’s due to be appointed very soon.

Teddy Maybank, anybody?

On Thursday, we play Dynamo Kiev in the Europa League at Stamford Bridge.

See you there.